Singlebarbed does dogfood

Computer technical types love jargon that lifts the customers eyebrow. It’s a simple explanation really, Ma cut the crusts off our sandwich in elementary school, we been on the prod ever since.

“Dogfood” describes the process by which you first eat what you wish to serve the customer. Our cadre of coupon shopping Singlebarbed ultra consumers (me) report back on some of the items mentioned in prior posts.

Brass Beads: The brass beads mentioned from Rings & Things arrived, the beads are what I was looking for, but watch the hole size. The standard is a 1mm hole which will fit over the eye of a #20 Tiemco 100, nothing larger.

Hook and Bead comparison The 2mm bead is the perfect size for #20 and #18 hooks. They will fit over the hook point of larger hooks, #18 and #16.

The 4mm size has a larger hole but it was a hook point thread as well, make sure you get the 1.5mm hole size. The 3mm beads have a 1mm hole but are too big a bead to fit around the bend of a small hook.

Brass Barbell: The price list for the brass dumbbell eyes arrived from China. Small $26.40 /1000, Medium $32.40 /1000, and Large $40.80 /1000. Considering the shops sell them for about 25-29 cents each, that is a stunning price. Contact information available at the TopMim web site.

HH-66 Cement: I checked the big chain hardware stores and none carry it. If ordered from the Internet, the thinner requires an extra $15 handling charge as it is not allowed on planes. That makes a lifetime of head cement cost $40 instead of $20. Still a deal, I have an order enroute.

Many asked about head cement bottles or applicators, they are available as fingernail polish bottles (glass) with brush applicator, or my favorite, the squeeze needle nose, Needle bottle. Plastic bottles can be dissolved by certain cements, so if you haven’t tested it yet, don’t buy 600 of them.

Tags: fly tying, brass beads, vinyl cement, head cement, brass barbell

Pebble finish fly lines

The downside of working in fly shops is that instead of getting a paycheck, you get first dibs in the “going out of business” sale.

Downside because 30 years later I still have unopened fly lines in pristine condition, yet have run out of my favorite. An English company, Masterline, made a pebble finished dry fly line called a “Chancellor Chalkstream.” These were uncommon for their day, as both Scientific Anglers and Cortland offered only smooth finishes.

Hal Jannsen marketed these lines under his label in the early 90’s – they were dyed oddball colors, like purple or brown.

I see Masterline is still in business, but it doesn’t appear as if they make anything other than an introductory fly line. I seem to remember someone making a “beaded surface” or pebble finish line, but now that I am interested, I can’t remember who it was..anyone care to share some information?

The prevailing theory is that as the line exited the guides it skipped from sphere to sphere, rather than constant contact and constant friction – as such, they would shoot quite a bit further than a conventional line.

Late Breaking News: I found the last of the Chancellor lines, available at $135.00 each. That’s a dab rich for my blood, are there any made by contemporary companies?

I’m reaching for a Danish

I am still scratching my head why the lowly banana bears the brunt of fishing superstition. Both me and Elvis figured bananas was a fine fruit, so how did the “if there are bananas in the boat, no fish will be caught” myth arise?

I read the available explanations, the most common is how a bunch of bananas held poisonous spiders and some sailors got the worst of it – but that was hundreds of years before the Internet, so the rest of the world would’ve taken a decade or two to find out.

I am much more willing to believe that bananas are found in tropical climes where gals wear grass skirts, are sun bronzed, and largely topless. Any fishing vessel from Northern Europe that laid in for fresh water would’ve been mighty hard put to go fishing after eyeballing that panorama. Bully beef and hard tack is fine, but a banana with a pineapple chaser must’ve tasted like divine intervention, or better.

A little credence to my theory is found in the “if a barefoot woman passes you on the way to the dock, no fish will be caught” superstition. Combine the two and we get what may be the real story, “If you are passed by a partially clad, sun bronzed, grass skirt wearing, tropical gal carrying bananas – you’ll forget about fishing entirely.”

Don’t blame me, you were the guys that clicked a hole clean through the gal in the fishing poster. I am just a victim of Sherlockian Deduction…

Tags: fishing superstition, banana superstition, angling myth

Pink can be masculine as hell

This is like a tennis bracelet for a big trout …especially when it results in you landing something of uncommon girth.

Research shows that girls actually prefer pink, it’s genetic – not some cutesy thing that Barbie taught them.

“We find very clear differences between the males and females we have tested,” Hurlbert said. “We haven’t yet found any exceptions.”

Scientists always copper their bets, and trying to get one to say “no exceptions” is a singularity, worthy of taking note.

Time to bend science to my will – the only thing better than catching a lot of fish, is catching one or more big fish. If females like pinkish colors, and many of the largest fish are females, than pink flys are a perfect canary diamond to a large female trout.

Shad come to mind immediately, as all of the big shad are females, the same is true for rainbow trout, many other salmonids, channel cats, and tilapia. You stopped giggling yet?

Remember the venerable Tups Indispensable? Yep, that was the one fly you thought about as your hand hovered over that spool of pink floss. You didn’t buy it, now it’s time to kick yourself repeatedly.

The scientific term for difference in size and anatomy is “sexual dimorphism” – it’s what your wife has that allows her to outwit you at every turn.

Tags: tups indispensable, pink, sexual dimorphism

Close but still not fair

I got my morning paper and a cup of coffee, I ‘m settling in to start my week and this little gem is on the front page:

“As hunting and fishing licenses decline, wildlife officials are seeking to collect maintenance funds from ‘non-consumptive’ visitors”

California’s fish and game department is funded largely by license revenue, which has been on the decline for some years (as reported by TC), so the department is looking to charge birdwatchers, kayakers, and anything else usage fees.

Naturally I assume it to be a fee for state parks and beaches, as the Great Outdoors is as porous a fence as the US border. A wonderful first step in getting funds for game wardens, but I think they could have gone one better.

Us fishermen, and hunters also, have gear restrictions – I want the same thing for birdwatchers…

“Ma’am, it’s single optic, strapless only – don’t tell me you didn’t read the signs!”

“But…”

“Sorry, Ma’am – that’s a $250 fine, and you’ll have to remove the strap on that camera.”

If I have to submit to a cavity search, shouldn’t they? We’re all enjoying the woods, it should be more equitable.

“Sir, I watched you photograph that Heron nine times, you realize it’s three per day, six in possession? I’ll have to take that film…”

Now that’s fair.

Tags: DFG, usage fees

Let’s get this straight

San Mateo Joe,

Will I rever the slaw dog like ~~Wally~~ TC does?

Slaw Dog’s are an affront to the human race. Why any rational human would desecrate an intestine stuffed with lips, beaks, jowels, and entrails – with cole slaw? The real indignity is that they are trying to hide the crime with chili and mustard.

I tried to fob these off on my girlfriend as a french delicacy, I called them “Le Canine Forested”, and she about decorated me with a rolling pin.

Nope, TC is all alone on that one.

Will I join forces with TC in ridding the world of the Nestle Menace?

Let’s say I have pounded a Nestle’s Crunchbar on more than one occasion, but if TC shows me all of his secret fishing spots, I could be born-again. Us free-writers is mercenary to the core, shameless in fact.

Will I be battling with TC in the bikini wars?

Hell yes, and if he so much as blinks he’s a goner. TC has both morals and scruples, I lack both. If it meant more pageviews than he gets, I’ll show nekkid trout too.

Why are their no pictures of my Wonderdog?

That’s the simplest question of all, my dog was a gift from my gal, she mistakenly got me a medium dun Queensland Heeler. Now I have a hairless Heeler that has to stay indoors all the time, too damn cold for him outside. He don’t mind much, except around Thanksgiving, I guess that turkey looks like a relative….

Will your ass shrink if you comment lots?

Hell no. But a taut and shapely rear is desirable only if you are sub-30, and have $8000 or more in credit card debt. This crowd is neither, and the bikini question gave you away…you own your own home, have a good woman of many years by your side, and are hoping like hell she don’t look over your shoulder while you live vicariously through my Bikini models, n’est pas?

Thanks for the opportunity to beard TC. Come again, and often.

Tags: slaw dog, trout underground

Welcome to Singlebarbed

3 Replies

Welcome to Singlebarbed. Whose words are you reading?

(SNIP) (HACK) (CUT) (SLASH)

Humor is King, which is why you shouldn’t take me too seriously, unless of course I’m writing on a topic that suggests you should, and it’s possible you won’t know the difference. Sometimes it’s not easy to be you.

Sit back, relax, enjoy — and comment your ass off.

Singlebarbed.

It’s what I got

The “Purple Mountains Majesty” missed my subdivision by a wide swath, but Getting Bit is just that, throw a fly in anger and hope that you get something with fins that’s receptive.

IMGP0035 This is what I got to work with and I’m approaching it with both caution and optimism.

Caution because with any stream in the rural-urban interface, you’re as likely to find a corpse as you are to find a pristine riffle of hungry steelhead. Both are equally remote, but you just never know.

Optimism, because I saw about 60 salmon here a couple of winters ago. Anything that can support a run of salmon can support something that bites flies year round.

This is your typical effluent enriched central valley farm creek. Access is spotty, but in casing what’s here I have managed to scare up carp, black bass, suckers, a couple of lawnmowers, and a chest of drawers. Gravity got the better of the drawers.

Mid-August means the water is at it’s lowest, allowing me to see where the deep channels are, where the source of the dirty water is, and avoid the ambushes from the EPB (Eat Paintball, Biatch) guerrillas that live in the cane breaks all weekend.

The source of the dirty water was easy to find. It had been diverted through a half dozen farms and a horse stable, so getting above that was the first step.

Midday is a poor time to inventory bug life, but it was what I had. I scanned the bridge abutments and any spider webs that I came across, to no effect. Saw the prerequisite damselflies and dragonflies buzzing about, but checking the underbrush yielded nothing.

Not wearing waders limited my access to underwater objects; a cursory check of submerged rocks and sticks revealed snails, minnows, and tadpoles. I found a wing from something in a web, but couldn’t tell whether it was a caddis or a termite.

Someone had been there before me IMGP0032 – another optimist. Found two discarded hook packages (snelled #8), one worm container, and half a clam shell. The clam shell would have been used for catfish or carp, the #8 hooks were consistent with the clam-as-bait theory.

Given the spent paintball rounds I saw, I might have been tempted to slide a red one on that #8 hook, even if I missed the strike – it’s likely that fish would’ve farted crimson for a week or two.

None of this is my idea, it is part of the perils of the Internet. Reading blogs like The Urban Flyfisher and Carp on the Fly is the fishing equivalent of luring underage school children across state lines.

With a two week vacation looming on the horizon, I will be returning with the appropriate armaments; crossed bandoliers of chilled beverage, and a flyrod. At minimum, I will piss off the folks driving to work on the bridge above…

So what’ve you got in your backyard, Mister?

Technorati Tags: farm creek, fishing, snelled hook, cache creek, carp

Gimme Some

They say “revenge is a dish, best served cold,” and I’ve got the ultimate prank for them mooching fish buddies of yours.

You know who I’m talking about, that erstwhile pal that always has his mitts in your fly box, “What’d you catch him on, I ain’t got none of those, gimme some.”

Introducing the water soluble thread.

Just try to keep a straight face…two casts and your pal is fishing a bare hook. 6 or 7 “Dissolve-O-Nymphs” later, and you wont have to worry about him demanding more of your precious Pheasant Tails.

Technorati Tags: thread, water soluble thread, fly tying

More Bulk for the Accumulator

Managed to track down some more bulk tying material sources, figured to pass them on.

Vinyl Cement comprises about 50% of the head cement market, it is a flexible bond that is used for working flies, slightly opaque and has a dull finish, so it is not used on “presentation” flies that require a transparent high gloss finish.

Available under a blizzard of recognizable names, all are descended from the venerable HH-66 cement from Mauritzon Inc. A gallon may be a bit excessive, but a quart is merely $14.40 – that is a lifetime supply. Quarts of thinner are available for $8.55. Thin the cement to water-consistancy before using.

The motherlode of Tungsten beads, brass beads, and tungsten barbell eyes is available in China. Unfortunately their web site leaves much to be desired, but TopMim International appears to be the source for everyone. The manufacturer is JinJu Powder Metallurgy Inc, whose site mentions minimum quantity is 1000 beads. Both sites mention supplying beads to the fly fishing industry, and their bead photos can be found on many middlemen sites in the US and Europe.

I sent them an email to get their price list, hopefully it is in Euro’s or Dollars.

If you are unwilling to take on international trade, Rings & Things has the round 2mm – 5mm copper, silver, and gold, beads for $1 per 100. That is about 1/4 the price of your fly shop. Buy 1000 (2mm) and the price is 50 cents per 100. (Minimum order $25, make sure you get a catalog) Can’t beat the price.

Eidnes Furs has some nice prices on animal pelts. We don’t need the fancy #1 quality, the damaged #3’s will do just fine. They have some interesting feathers as well – but the pelt prices are cheap.

Technorati Tags: fur, vinyl cement, fly tying, tungsten beads