Wall Street false cast

Greed is GoodWatching the panic on Wall Street is always fun, after you get over the fact you’re working 6 more years because your 401K is toast. In the back of my mind is that little demon that wonders how many points the Market will go down before the first broker climbs out a window…

They call them “Talking Heads” – these are the sharply dressed folks that are painted on the financial channel, urging alternately, calm, and “back up the truck – it’s buying time..”

This is the same gang that is scared to say the S E L L word in public, for fear someone would actually do just that.

I have half an ear cocked to the financial mumbo-jumbo as I am cooking dinner, when I hear one of these grease peddlers expound on how the Tech stocks are going to save us all.

Hell no, Tech has had its chance, I say Fishing stocks is the best play.

Buy low, sell high, right? Fishing stocks have dwindled by 90% over the last couple of decades, so they have to be at bottom. The fact that there aren’t any angling stocks means if we find something close, we have a monopoly too.

“Blue Horseshoe loves BGFV and CAB…”

What was the line Gordon Gecko used, “..Rich enough not to mend line?”

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Old dogs Old tricks

Mustad HookOut of necessity I went “Old School” on all my flies tied this season. My hook stash was light on all the Tiemco, Gamakatsu, Daiichi, round-wire trout hooks, so I dug deeper into the morass to  find Mustad 94840 and 3906B’s, the old standards.

Having fished both Japanese chemically sharpened and Mustad forged hooks for over a decade each, I hadn’t thought to compare the two until I found myself attempting to restock my larder.

Per normal, the Japanese hooks are sold in the $16.00 per hundred range,  the old Mustad’s are still available and are half the price. I like the Japanese hooks, but are they twice as good as price suggests?

In a non-scientific test, here are my observations (season to date):

Japanese hooks are a dab more malleable steel, their barbs pinch down without breaking off the entire hook point, and they deform more easily than their forged counterparts. While bending the wire back into the original shape seems no issue, I suppose there is a bit of weakness introduced.

Mustad forged hooks (94840) are a rigid brittle steel, pinching a barb down with pliers is always a risk, as some percentage always seems to lose both barb and point, rendering the fly a write-off. Deformation of the hook due to a snag on an unyielding surface is nonexistent. Because of this, some loss occurs when the entire point/barb assembly is snapped off when the fly comes free. 

Japanese hooks on the whole seem better made. Mustad hooks always will have 3-4 hooks per box that have improperly closed eyes, or a gap large enough that must be sealed by the tyer with thread.

Both vendors have annealed hooks; the finish is not quite dry and two or more hooks stick together, most can be separated so the issue is trivial.

The Japanese hooks have a wider variety of hooks, but that may be artificial, as the vendors may stock more of their hooks than the cheaper selling Mustad flavor. It does appear as if they are available in more diverse wire types, curvatures, and colors.

The round wire Mustad nymph hooks have the same qualities as their Japanese counterparts; softer, more malleable wire, little issue with barb pinching. This is consistent with the forging process, as a swaged wire should resist better than a round wire. I assume we can use the house rafter analogy, as round rafters were abandoned a hundred years ago in favor of the current “forged” or rectangular construction. 

On the whole, it would appear that current Japanese offerings are slightly better made, and slightly more diverse, but twice as expensive. I am not convinced that they are twice as good.

Mustad has their new line of Signature hooks which I have not yet tested. These are roughly the same cost as the Japanese flavor, and they might be worthy of consideration. I will report back on them as soon as they  arrive.

In summary, fish both with confidence. To spare yourself destroying your last #18 Black Ant, you may want to pinch the barb before the fly is tied. You will be inconsolable if the fish are rising in great numbers, and that is all they are stupid for…

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The Bikini > fishing

Ok, I had to learn the hard way. Sudden spike in readership based on my ability to turn the Phrase Lyrical, not. Increase in hits because of the natural comparison between my prose and Shakespeare, not.

I apparently touched on a nerve and have found my readership’s sweet spot. Unfortunately it has nothing to do with me.

That’s ok, I won’t take it personal – at least not until you turn your back…

I had to endure those silly motivational posters festooning the hallways for the better part of a decade. The resentment runs deep.

For those that inquired, the web site is Despair.com – the Do It Yourself (DIY) tab at the top allows you to provide a picture and caption for them as wants to roll your own.

What do you follow soft porn with? Profuse apologies…

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The angler as Samaritan

Been in the cage too longHere is the final piece of the puzzle, we can muzzle the wife’s objections and defang PETA all at the same time.

Animal shelters are adopting “Catch and Release” regulations. More importantly, we have the moral responsibility to catch fish, it’s no longer good enough to simply like torturing them, now we need to

“… If we put them in a cage and we don’t interact with them, we slowly drive them crazy.”

The meaning is clear, pour them silver hatchery fish in the creek, then hook snot out of them so they don’t get their feelings hurt. My God, I love science.

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4 Million for 3 days

Crap, I forgot my waders!Blessed Mother of Compound Interest, don’t fail me now…  Five short years from now the Space Hilton opens, and you’ll want to be part of the festivities.

Think of it, the total domination of your fishing peer group, who are frantically stuffing their 401K on the hopes they might be able to retire, while you – the overconsumer, are planning the pinultimate fishing experience.

It starts with the “Hi Mom” pantomime, broadcast worldwide compliments of a Mission Control telephoto lens, followed quickly by the detonation of 1,900,000 pounds of liquid hydrogen and oxygen – propelling you into angling legend.

I don’t know what you’re gonna catch, I don’t know what they’ll be eating, but Stephen King likely knows (or can describe) who’ll be your guide. Consider tipping large, as you don’t want to piss off a Wookie.

No more double haul – shoot the fly line and 500 yards of backing with a simple flip of the wrist.  Dropped your fly box? No worries, it’ll make a crater in your backyard as soon as the orbit decays. No boundaries to Space, no daily bag limits either. You can kill indiscrimantly, as it will take the UN decades to determine which warden has jurisdiction.

After Oprah and Good Morning America have their way with you, National Enquirer and Star will make you a hot property,  when that crowd loses interest, you have a lifetime of income from angling shows, and fly fishing clubs. This trip pays for itself.

Let’s settle this shall we

The Expensive part of fly tyingBanish the thought from your mind, tying your own flies is not cheaper than buying them. Measured simply in dollars, the two aren’t even in the same zipcode. There are some benefits to fly tying that can’t be quantified and may tip the scales a bit.

The Numbers Game

If we look at the cost of trout flies, they range from $1.50 to $2.50, with the bulk of the standard patterns at the lower end of that scale. Assuming the typical urban angler gets away 6 times a year for a fishing excursion, and buys about 2 dozen flies for each outing, he is out of pocket about $300 per year.

For his flytying counterpart, if he had to tie that same 12 dozen, it is a different story. If we assemble a kit of the materials necessary, it may include:

Genetic Necks – 1-Rhode Island Red, 1 – Grizzly, 1 – Cream/Ginger

Dubbing Fur – Black, Brown, Olive, Grey, Cream, Yellow, Tan, Rust

Skins/Bird Parts – Partridge, Speckled Hen saddle, Mallard flank(natural and dyed woodduck), Teal, Pheasant Tail, Peacock Herl, Ostrich, Dyed Hen saddle (Olive, Brown), Saddle Hackle (grizzly, badger, brown), Turkey Tail, Goose Biots. Marabou (olive, black)

Animal Parts: Calf tail, Hare’s Mask, Moose Body, Deer Hair, Elk Hair

Synthetic/Man Made: Copper wire, Gold wire, Lead wire, Polypropylene yarn (white), Pearl Flashabou (or equivalent), Prewaxed Thread (black, brown, cream, olive), Floss (red, yellow), Brass beads (small, medium).

Hooks: Dry Fly (12, 14, 16, 18), Nymph (12, 14, 16, 18), Specialty (3XL 8, 10)

I wouldn’t be accused of flamboyance in the above items, this is a basic kit that can tie quite a few different patterns. There will be plenty left over after our 12 dozen flies, some of the above items can tie many hundreds of dozens before being exhausted. The above tying kit retails for approximately $461.00.

Note that no tools, vises, or other tying paraphernalia is counted in the above, this is simply a raw list of items that could tie 12 dozen assorted flies. Our assumption is that the angler buying flies is likely to pick 2-3 of each, and 12 dozen would be around 50 different fly patterns.

Using the “dollar” indicator only, $300 < $461, so buying flies is cheaper.

Granted, the additional flies we can tie from this kit will lower the per fly price in each subsequent year, but we’ll start to run out of items and have to restock. If you supplement the items with road kill, and catastrophic loss due to moth infestation, the calculation become unwieldy almost immediately.

Hexagenia DunIf we acknowledge some of the intangibles, that may shift things. What a flytyer gets is a deeper understanding of fly design, movement, and aquatic entomology. He can tailor a fly exactly to the bug he sees on the stream, whereas the guy buying flies has to find an approximation – a standard pattern close enough to the natural that he can use effectively. This is easy, as fish are stupid. On rare occasion, nothing but the custom pattern will do, this is more the exception rather than the rule.

Assimilating all that tying knowledge will put the crafter into learning bug behavior. Reading countless articles on new patterns and absorbing their recipe will also convey how and where to fish it, how to recognize the natural when he sees it, and what unique qualities exist in the sillouette or style of emergence. Simply put, fly tyers will know more about bugs. How much is that worth?…A plugged farthing at a cocktail party, but useful as hell when fishing.

The second major benefit for tyers is that their season is longer than a fellow purchasing flies. Them cold winter months give the perfect opportunity to replenish those holes in your fly box. It ain’t fishing, but it’s the next best thing.

As a byproduct of tying, angler confidence is increased. You were there last year, they were eating “little yellow mayflies” – you spent all winter perfecting that pattern, now you’ll reap the reward. Confidence is akin to superstition, as we have all met the guy that claims, “I catch all my fish on a #16 Adams” – the fact that he has been successful (confidence) is enough for him to continue to force feed that fly for hours, regardless of what’s hatching.

The Deep End

The GordonMany fly tyers go off the deep end, and although it can be expensive, it is still a rewarding hobby. These tyers wind up owning huge stashes of fly materials, far in excess of what they can use in multiple seasons. Often these collections result from interests in fly crafting, attempting to tie traditional Atlantic Salmon flies using the original materials, and other esoteric forms of tying. They might live thousands of miles from any salmon, but it is the art and skill displayed that is the main event.

These tyers spend many thousands of dollars in materials, and have long surpassed any thought to the economics of their flies, they’re as interested in their craft as they are in fishing. Many sports have this same unbridled accumulation hobby, it still beats blowing your cash on cheap rotgut and hookers.

A “Deep Ender” is easy to spot, watch him make a fuss over the neighbors Pale Blue Dun cat, seven minutes later he’ll be throwing rocks at an orange tabby. He’s the guy that swerves his car at a porcupine, and is up to his elbows in the gut pile at the local duck club.

Word’s of Wisdom – always go fishing in his car, that way you don’t have to explain the rotting fox carcass under the seat to your wife.

They look tasty enough

Like all day suckers, who could resistWhat kind of father figure are you to allow your kid to chew on his rod?

You get the wee tyke up at the crack of dawn under the auspices of “family togetherness,” you wad the child into a car seat, deaf to the defiant howls, drag him out into the chill dawn – ignoring pleas for “DeeMickey” … and in a crescendo of petulance, you stomp off determined to get some fishing done, leaving the toddler to the tender mercies of Momma?

Now, horrified you are looking at the paper and realize you’ve stunted the child’s growth, enraged his mommy, and imbedded yourself so firmly in the Doghouse, you might as well be the blanket.

You thought them SpongeBob rods was cute as hell, now that they’re considered leaden death, and being recalled by the millions, you got some ‘splaining to do, Lucy.

Yes, that’s a rolling pin Momma’s wielding, just bend over and Cowboy-Up. While you are taking that licking, just be grateful Ma didn’t make the connection between the diaper full of ball bearings and the missing jug of Salmon Eggs.

Casting is like Kung-fu

Jackie Chan being offered a slaw dogNo, you don’t need a $590 fly rod to learn to cast and if this is the first time you’ve picked up a fly rod in anger, it’s more of a liability than a help.

Resign yourself to your fate, as finding a live human will teach you to cast much quicker than any series of books. Yoda couldn’t describe the Force, how do you expect some knotheaded fly author to teach you the feel for a cast, when he’s using silly metaphors involving clocks and tack hammers?

All talented fly fishermen are perenially late – and don’t own a tack hammer for fear the wife will make them use it. Suddenly they know how to read a clock face and can shingle a roof? I don’t think so.

What you want to do is find a nice sub-$100 flyrod and flail away in contentment. Let skills develop before you plunk down any significant rod coin, there are too many items you need to complete your outfit – so don’t bankrupt your budget on your initial tackle.

My first rod was a Fenwick Feralite fiberglas, in those days they were sub-$50 and were a fine rod. The Fenwick company is still churning out good, serviceable tackle in graphite, and as testimony to the quality, many of their glass rods are available at flea markets, Ebay, and rod collector web sites. Their graphite line goes by the Fenwick Eagle brand, and retail for about $100 after tax.

A beginner is best served by learning from someone else. The combination of watching someone cast, and being watched, will speed the instruction process tenfold. If you are really lucky you’ll get some mean old guy that scares hell out of you, so rather than asking why – you just do it.

The best place to learn is your local fly fishing club, there are usually an abundance of opinionated old guys lusting after a captive audience, as  a  recruitment tool they’ll put on a casting clinic free to all comers. On occasion they may even provide some tackle for those that lack their own rod , typically you’ll have to bring your own. Second choice is a fly shop, the instruction will be good – but their agenda is to get you near a rod product, often they’ll teach using the $600 tackle, making you assume you need that to be successful.

You don’t.

It may behoove you to ask your local shop if they have any old fly lines they’ve replaced for customers purchasing new ones. Most of us don’t have water nearby, so a lawn or concrete driveway can be pressed into service. The old throw-away line you can flog to death with no repercussion, but don’t use a new fly line on concrete, it will tear it up quickly.

Fly casting is like Kung-fu, there are many different masters, many different schools, and all of them are right. The two most prevalent are the Shaolin Flailing Palm, which emphasizes an open arm and shoulder moving in any direction, and the Prana-Bindu Frozen-Wrist school – which relies on the elbow tucked in closely to the side, an immobilized wrist, and movement of the shoulder. Like Kung-fu, many casting videos use subtitles, or should …

Casting style does not matter, whomever your instructor is will dictate what school you belong to, all will turn out servicable casters and imbue you with predator instincts.

Allow yourself time to mature as a caster, as in any memory motion sport; tennis, golf, etc.,  it will take much repetition before the muscle memory is second nature. Go fishing almost immediately, so you can see how much time is lost untangling knots and losing flies to shrubbery, water, your nose, and all other inanimate objects. This will do more to enforce the lessons of discipline than any amount of cajoling your instructor gives you.

If you’re in the midst of a steep learning curve, the fancy tackle will be lost on you. It’s no different than when your brother in law shows up and helps himself to a waterglass of your best scotch, whether it was aged 12 or 20 years is completely lost on him. Give yourself time to mature as both a caster and angler, then move to some of the higher end tackle, but only when your skills have surpassed the cheap rod, not before.

Fishing is a kid with a pork rind and a cane pole, keep it that way as long as possible. You can practice purism later when you have the wallet and the silver sideburns to back your play.

This is Petey

Petey sees the fillet knife and shudders

This is Petey, a small innocent juvenile brook trout with his entire life ahead of him. His only crime was getting too close to an enraged angler, now he is cowering in the dark, knowing his fate is uncertain.

Petey really wants to frolic in a cold trout stream, chasing mayfly nymphs and fulfilling his destiny. Instead, Petey is the Official Char of the Trout Underground blog – who is giving away a genuine Maine Canoe-hat. Unless said hat arrives on my doorstep by noon friday…

Petey’s fate…That’s right, Petey Gets it!

Now let’s see whether TC can extricate himself from this bind, his Ma wants the hat, duty and honor dictate he surrender it, but Petey’s life hangs by a thread….