Author Archives: KBarton10

He gives Cyprinids the Fat Lip

Roughfisher Ties one on Friend Roughfisher is adding his expertise to the USCARPPRO ezine, with a monthly column on flies for our favorite Cyprinid. It’s a great fit and a monstrous ezine, 150 pages of technology and insight into all forms of carp fishing – most of which we never knew existed.

Fly fishermen have more than our fair share of snooty types, with the balance either market hunters or fishermen. Cracking the cover on USCARPPRO suggests they have an equal leavening of elite anglers, elitism, and enough precision engineered tackle and angling minutiae to give fly fishermen a run for their money.

We devote four pages to synthetic tailing materials, and they’ve got four pages of hand cast lead weights with finishes that mimic rocks. We’ve got Bimini Twists and esoteric single purpose knots – only they’ve got twice as many, most of which we’ve never encountered.

We’ve got fly patterns in the tens of thousands, and they can match us one for one with boilies, popups, and wafters – all of which sound like Willy Wonka’s Everlasting Gob Stopper – only in Vanilla and Black Licorice.

Which gives them the edge on us as they can eat what they throw.

Best of all is the lack of outstretched arm posturing – there’s no need to exaggerate fish size, as most are unable to lift the bloated behemoth past their knees…

… and they’re smiling. Ruddy faced grins celebrate a worthy quarry, something that’s only occasionally seen in our glossies.

If you thought fly competition hooks were expensive – these fellows pay double for theirs – I couldn’t help but salivate over the shapes and reinforcement – we don’t have nearly the options we once did with X-Strong fly hooks.

I found it an enjoyable departure from our media, an interesting glimpse at a sport taken every bit as seriously as our own – with the added comfort of knowing there’s some poor angler paying more for his rods than I am.

Sure it’s bait fishing, but us fishermen do that.

While you’re there – tell Roughfisher we ain’t on speaking terms until some of that homemade sausage makes it to my side of the Rockies. Fly fishing is fine and all – but withholding eats is unconscionable.

Tags: Roughfisher.com, USCARPPRO ezine, cyprinids, boilies, popups, wafters, bimini twist, Willy Wonka, carp

Sulky Holoshimmer, holographic tinsel by another name

I was reminded last night that I hadn’t been completely forthcoming. The fly shops call it “holographic tinsel” – typically charging between $1.50 and $2 for a small spool.

Joanne’s Craft’s calls it “Sulky Holoshimmer” and rather than the traditional size spool, sells it in the elongated bindle for $3.95 for 250 yards. It’s only available in the fine trout sizes (1/32”) under that label – but a little digging will likely find our medium and large variant.

That’s nearly seven spools of the fly shop size, which cuts your cost down to fifty seven cents per spool (30m).

sulky_holoshimmer

I took the above picture at Joann’s showing 48 different colors. On closer examination I see duplicates, so it appears more than one size is available from the craft store. I was harried – and throwing elbows to keep the mob back, and may have missed this important detail …

Sulky_holoshimmer2

Here’s the life-size view so you can see the pattern and effects. Copper (bottom left), Cranberry, and dark Green (top two) are especially suited for those oddball trout patterns that require a little flash.

I love these spools. The top lifts up exposing a small track that the tag end can be wound around – once the top is pressed down your the tag end is completely secure. Consider saving these spools once the tinsel is exhausted – I’d decant other tinsels or chenille onto them so you don’t tarnish the old metal style (with rubberbands)  – and you can avoid the unfettered “mylar explosion” of the newer tinsels.

In this economy we’re making war on the two dollar item …

Tags: Holographic Tinsel, Sulky Holoshimmer, fly tying materials, bulk fly tying materials, war on two dollar items, fly tying

Another Gender Bending chemical in your drinking water, or are you merely happy to see me

gender bending I always suspected golfers had an extra chromosome or two – what with their fondness for flashy plaids and saddle shoes, and if you play in Florida that risk goes double …

… but it pales in comparison to my compulsion for brightly colored yarns, how I squeal in glee over some fellow’s Czech nymph that dared to match lavender and a hint of pink on an insect that owns neither.

Wash your hands after putting up the Christmas tree – as you may contract both; a fascination with dimpled white balls followed by a shopping orgy at the local fabric store.

It’s atrazine actually, 76.4 million pounds applied each year – and a couple of stiff jolts will turn your X’s into Y’s – especially if you’re a frog. If you’re not a frog, then it just scrambles everything and you’re dead.

A new study has found that male frogs exposed to the herbicide atrazine — one of the most common man-made chemicals found in U.S. waters — can make a startling developmental U-turn, becoming so completely female that they can mate and lay viable eggs.

– via Washington Post

The local physician noted my nervous tic, as I described a burgeoning passion for brightly colored yarns, and he studied my fly box with great interest. While I giggled uncontrollably he pronounced sentence, “You’ve been smoking it, wading in it, or drinking it – in either case, stop.”

He did mention I can gauge exposure by examining my muddy footprints, how if I start walking on tiptoe, I’m approaching critical thresholds.

Atrazine is used on corn (field and sweet), sorghum, sugarcane, wheat (application to wheat stubble on fallow land following harvest), guava, macadamia nuts, hay, pasture, summer fallow, forestry or woodlands, conifers, woody ornamentals, Christmas trees, sod, and residential and recreational turf (parks, golf courses). Given the specific nature of the turf uses, much of atrazine’s use on lawns is confined to Florida and the Southeast.

But it’s much worse than mere frogs changing sexual identity, it may explain why most anglers find it difficult to relate to the female gender (irritating them mostly) – and why we insist on the Supermodel fantasy.

The other 90 percent of the exposed frogs retained some male features, Hayes said, but often had lower testosterone levels and fertility. When competing for female frogs’ attentions, atrazine-treated males frequently lost out to males that hadn’t been treated.

Considering the above exposure was less than the EPA mandated tolerance for drinking water, we may want to switch to hard liquor for our Cheerios – as that list didn’t contain oats.

Sygenta, the Swiss agribusiness conglomerate is disputing the finding, as is the EPA which will be reviewing the work. In the meantime we can add Atrazine to the long list of potential gender changing chemicals our fish are enduring.

Female hormones, atrazine, and birth control residue – and the poor guy from IGFA trying to determine whether an asterisk is warranted, or lump it under she-male.

Tags: agricultural effluent, gender changing, golfing, tiptoe, brownlining, sharp toed frog, Sygenta, EPA

That’s all I have to say about that

Self Portrait On the hundredth post I asked, “I wrote 99, surely you can write one” – but it was an epic fail. I’d already run out of things to say after the 16th article and it showed.

Today marks my 1000th post and I know better than to ask what you like.

It was a simple and inauspicious start, the  attempt to buttress meager writing skills, and I assumed a daily deadline would teach me to write in a harried environment – where I lacked the luxury of a compelling idea, or simply felt like it –  rather I’d have to face the blank white screen when at my weakest.

My writing has improved a bit – it’s no longer halting so much as wordy or ill conceived – but in a couple more decades I’ll have graduated to pedantic or completely opaque – and have tossed punctuation to the curb.

Its been both difficult and rewarding and I shudder at reading anything from the night before – the obvious errors, wordy posts, vague detail, and glibness that seems less so on the seventh read.

I’d prefer doing “Celebrity Skin” – that way I could foist some grainy image as “Brooke Shields Nekkid” to an audience that was riveted to every post …

1000 posts, 4000 reader comments, and 30,000 spam messages blocked – hawking everything from hair restoration to amputee porn.

… which I ogled for completely scientific reasons, mostly so you didn’t have to …

Hey,
I am working on a promotional campaign for Xxxxxx.com and was wondering if you offered advertising opportunities on your site.

Can you please pass along an ad rate sheet or your pricing options, if they are available?

If you do not have established rates, I can definitely suggest some already-proven options that we’ve had success in the past with other sites.  For instance, we have worked with blogs who have placed the following description to help spread the word:

“With just three simple steps a day, Xxxxxx the #1 acne system, combines real medicines with soothing botanicals. Strong enough to kill your most stubborn acne but gentle enough to use every day, Xxxxxx lets you enjoy the clear, radiant skin you’ve always wanted.”

… and then there’s the advertisers. They remind me of all the things I’ve seen in glossy print that jar me from a reverie on angling technique or the stunning environments I’ve never seen and never will fish, and remind me to walk a fine line on the commercial endeavor.

They get Singlebarbed humor in the same measure as the angling industry:

Thanks for the inquiry Xxxxx, but no thanks.
Singlebarbed is a fly fishing blog and while my readers may be afflicted with hideous acne, I prefer them to remain that way.

I liken this to a magazine of one. It’s a mix of everything that would never be printed in a real magazine (for good reason), blended with the power of the Internet – allowing me to discard the notion that magazines are monthly, that demographics rule content, and editors that insist on sex when it’s the punctuation that needs the work.

It’s likely I’ve offended plenty. I’m not shy about sharing my perception of inequities foisted on us by politicians, vendors, established aristocracy, and someone’s ill conceived notion of angling.

I believe that a fishing rod shouldn’t cost as much as they do – that a wading mat is stupid, that brand does not make the fisherman, that a tight loop is the result of years of chucking little stuff at littler stuff, and youthful arrogance and Extreme is the new Elitism.

Maybe it’s your lunch hour – or perhaps a stolen moment at work, in either case it’s been my pleasure to entertain.

By my count there were six worthy moments and 994 that started with potential and died a horrible death. We’ll do better on the next thousand.

Tags: Singlebarbed.com, blogging, 1000th post

In light of this startling evidence, is the machine tied fly a myth?

The Daily Flypaper blog posted a fascinating video of the 1.3 million dollar fly tying system from Intuitive Surgical…

… which is a bit misleading, it’s actually an Intuitive Surgical robot showing off what it can do. ISRG has been the darling of Wall Street for a number of years, considered best of breed for computer controlled robotic surgery.

– via The Daily Flypaper Blog

While the possibilities are endless, I wouldn’t expect the cost of routine surgeries to suddenly become cheap, perhaps scheduling them may involve menus and a drive thru, but operating amphitheaters remain in short supply. Us humans have shown remarkable resistance to technology especially if it’s holding a sharp knife – akin to the revulsion we felt in handing over our credit card information in the early days of the Internet.

1.3 million is about the same as pre- and post-Med tuition, excluding cadavers and books.

Naturally, watching the video had me wondering – as the work is intricate to be sure, but we’ve always insisted those bubble-packed flies from Japan were machine made, and if machinery intricate enough to create them is of recent invention – what made all those flies during the 50’s and 60’s?

Fly tying machine, circa 1943

Therein lies the mystery as I can find nothing other than a patent application for 1943. History buffs will recognize that it couldn’t have been used by the Japanese until 1946, but may have played an important role in reconstructing Japanese industry.

Is it possible we’ve been misled all these years?

All those big ring-eyed hooks, buttonhole twist cotton thread and a Scarlet Ibis gleaming at us from the capable hands of a human? Makes you wonder what he thought our fish were thinking.

Anyone know what these rumored machines looked like or have an account of automated post war fly machinery?

Tags: Intuitive Surgical, ISRG, fly tying machine, machine tied fly, myth, patent application, Royal Coachman, Wall Street darling, youtube

Lucy pulls the football away at that last critical moment

This was the weekend where my newly placid and emerald alma mater was to be violated cruelly by my large feet. Flows were perfect, the sun was out – and a balmy 67° predicted.

Friday night was the prenup. Rods inspected, reels freshly oiled, boots sterile from chemical bathes and three months of enforced idle, flies neatly ranked by size and color – and experimentals squirreled away in secret compartments safe from prying eyes …

Saturday morning was corporate taxes, income taxes, laundry, and groceries – aided by the whirlwind “guy clean” of bathrooms and footpaths, sinks and dishes, and I plunged into the sack knowing that on the morrow, order would be restored to the Universe once I felt the first new leak in my waders.

… and while I slumbered fitfully, the light patter of rain turned foul.

Charlie Brown version

Now I know the endless grief that was Lucy pulling the football away at the last bloody second, and how Charlie Brown suffered horribly.

I returned home a broken man.

Tags: Charlie Brown, Little Stinking, season opener, brownlining, disappointment,

New indictments edge closer to Madoff trading desk

BernardMadof_AndSonsfFinish200 While the blaring indictments no longer grace the newspapers, it appears another executive has been indicted in what remains of the Madoff debacle.

Our interest has always been in Mark Madoff and his ownership of the Abel Automatics Inc., the maker of Abel reels.

Investigators and the trustee winding down Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC have previously said the activity took place in the firm’s investment arm, but the charges against Bonventre directly link the investment and proprietary trading operations.

          – via MSNBC.com

… the selfsame proprietary trading operation run by both Madoff sons.

Both brothers spent their careers working side by side for their father, an electronic-trading pioneer. Mark, 44 years old, and Andrew, 42, joined their father’s firm on the trading desk in the 1980s. Both rose through the ranks and by the 1990s ran Madoff’s trading desk together.

          – via the Wall Street Journal

While they’ve been mauled in the court of public opinion, this appears to be the first credible link between the Ponzi scheme and the legitimate trading operation.

It’ll be months before any concrete information results. In the meantime clutch those extra spools tightly.

Tags: Bernie Madoff, Mark Madoff, Abel Automatics Inc., fly reel, indictments

It gets personal when it boils down to Salmon or Danish

Bear Claw It started with some small pretense of fairness, Senator Feinstein’s call for a review of the environmental opinion on the Sacramento Delta, an effort to ferret out the “flawed science” that dared put fish before the needs of farms and her pals at the Westland’s Water district.

… while most of us fishermen assumed it was merely a ruse to reverse the initial judgment and favor longtime contributor Paramount Farms, it appears Ms. Feinstein has opted to speed the process and ignore whatever the review determines, in favor of adding more water for farmers via a rider on the proposed Federal Jobs Bill.

Even some fellow members of California’s U.S. congressional delegation were annoyed with Feinstein, saying she had agreed with them to wait for a report by the National Academy of Sciences, which provides advice on scientific issues to U.S. policymakers, before drawing up any water policy changes.

“We had a couple meetings on this, and at the last meeting she had indicated that we would base any policy decisions we make on the science,” U.S. Representative Mike Thompson told Reuters. “And this policy change certainly isn’t based on science.”

– via Reuters.com

Ms. Feinstein requires an increase of 30% over last year’s drought diminished quota – guaranteeing 40% of federal allotments (pre endangered species finding) for the thirsty breadbasket of Southern California.

The 2009 tallies show about a 50% decline from 2008, with each year’s return setting the new low for the run.

“Why are San Joaquin agricultural operators selling their water to southern California developers and then demanding more water from the Delta?” 

Nationally, products exclusively grown (99% or more) in California include almonds, artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives, persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins, clovers, and walnuts.

As everyone hates dates, persimmons, and prunes, and clover is largely animal feed, we’ll simply have to weigh the outcome gastronomically … with fishermen barred from voting as they won’t eat anything other than fish stix – which are entirely man made.

Salmon versus a walnut Danish or bear claw slathered in Almond slivers ?

… wait, don’t answer that.

Tags: pastry, senator Feinstein, California water wars, Sacramento delta, paramount farms, NOAA science, Mike Thompson

A nine foot AFTMA Pipe bomb

Cold blooded Patronizing my local fly shop has never been a issue. Guys like me always look for the rack of shopping carts when we enter – despite already owning everything.

While online shopping dominates the day to day replacements and flights of fancy, my stern rule is always drop a double sawbuck at the destination shops – the little guys – whose season lasts seven months if they’re lucky, and are a wealth of local fishing knowledge, things you forgot, and the repository of known feeding weaknesses of your quarry.

I may rethink that somewhat.

Most of us are already reluctant fliers, what with the cavity searches and grinning PSA storm troopers displaying all our underwear, illicit booze and the girlie mags we packed for the fishless hours …

… never sure whether we’ll see our rod caddy ever again.

Now we’ve taken out a ferry service, a shopping mall and most of a downtown city block just to blow up a fishing rod – it makes you wonder whether you’ll get a bill from the Gendarmes.

Saving seventy dollars in state tax seemed like a good idea when we finally dropped the cash for the high-end Sage, but now you’re three rows back in the throng of onlookers wondering whether you should claim the fragment of fore grip from the bomb squad.

Me, I’d hurry past the angry drivers in all those stalled cars, past the hundreds of mall employees bent shivering in their livery, wave good naturedly at the throng lining the rail of the good ship Commute – and the pale green spreading across ruddy cheeks as they wallow in diesel, and wait the prerequisite two weeks before angrily inquiring of the vendor what had become of my money …

“No, I never got the sumbitch … and sure I’ll take that faux leather set of dry fly drink coasters for my aggravation, that’s most sporting of you – but my address has changed, here’s the PO BOX …”

Tags: PSA storm trooper, bomb rod, girlie mags, fly fishing humor, local fly shop, online shopping

She’s back – scourged clean and emerald green

An impressionist has the attention span of a small child. The fact that I tried it their way for more than six minutes gives me the license to bend all the rules. Curved hooks and razor points, and why should Caddis be the only beneficiary?

As a purely fact finding exercise I’ve extended the Czech style to all the major food groups, using a leavening of black and copper in the colorful attractor role. The effect is quite good, as shown below.

Little Stinking goes International

I’ve got my muse back. She’s deep green and completely rebuilt from dam to sewer pipe, and her 2010 christening befits flies that have never graced anything save imagination – as there’s no sign of life in her adorable semi-cleansed bosom.

February 2010, The Homecoming

Drained dry in August 2009, reborn under the damp umbrella of four weeks of steady rain, no fish of any kind visible – and requiring us to start the horrid transition from flaccid winter form to the lean – hard – Whippet of Spring …

… miles of water and no telling what we’ll step in.

We’ve cracked out the stretchable elastic and felt pens, and dangled plenty of Czech samples in the creek, and everything Czech rides upside down. We’ll counter with our colorful stuff tied to ride proper, as it’ll have to account for the magnetic interference of submerged farm machinery.

Little Stinking Buttercup

We’ve got lemon yellow’s and orange-orange’s, all infused with massive amounts of the basic attractor blends, featuring claret and golden yellow- with black highlights and copper flash.

In short, while we don’t expect to see a fish, we’ll be the best dressed – most equipped, panting fat guy on the watershed this weekend. NFL athletes drag tires to get in shape – I’ll be dragging the entire fly tying desk hoping to lose the spare tire …

Tags: Little Stinking, brownlining, the rebirth of a stream, Czech nymphs, mayflies,