Author Archives: KBarton10

Humanity returns and with it my oft questioned funny bone

All you can eat Small shards of humor are  intruding into flu enforced idleness – sure signs of a return to sparkling good health. 

It being Winter and tired of the steady onslaught of pending litigation, decline in fisheries, and coupled with knowledge that the Golden Years appear to have been replaced by the Golden Shower, I’m looking for something light and irreverent for a change.

##### Lodge at the ### River offers a top-notch dining experience, featuring dishes such as wasabi and sesame crusted halibut filet with a ginger miso vin blanc or pepper-rubbed grilled lamb loin medallions with a fresh California bing cherry compote. It has its own private-label wines as well, grown, produced and bottled in San Luis Obispo, Calif.

Fairly staid, traditionalist approach. Ascots and Port on the verandah, liveried servants serving fish to an above average clientele who’ve been lectured all day on why they can’t keep any …

We’ve endured a couple hundred years of the above – does the downturn in the economy imply fermented soy beans are the new frugal ?

…  arrested three Mexican nationals and seized more than 1,300 pounds of marijuana off a fishing vessel near the northern end of South Padre Island Sunday ..

Then again, this expedition sounds like the more active, predatory angling experience, featuring sunburns and the New Age outdoorsman. Camouflage, night vision goggles, and extreme something or other – cottonmouth most likely.

Care to guess which one has the Orvis endorsement?

… and while the cloying effects of Nyquil are still an aftertaste, did I read it correctly that the Alaskan Trout Unlimited organization is praising Target for removing farmed Salmon from the shelves and replacing it with wild Alaskan fish?

“We want to market Bristol Bay salmon so it is as well-known as Copper River salmon,” said Paula Dobbyn,” spokeswoman for TU in Alaska. “

It’s the first time I’ve seen a conservation organization insisting we kill and eat the last remaining wild Salmon run in the US. Conventional conservation practices reborn under heat lamps and all you can eat.

It begs the question, how many Harvard-educated hedge fund managers did it take to dream up this humdinger. I suppose that once we’ve eaten them all we can buy Salmon Credit swaps – redeemable at the Pebble mine office …

… and if that salmon was hatchery bred (as are 80% of the Pacific Salmon in the lower 48) will it get an asterisk on the label?

A renewable resource isn’t  – until we’ve shown the proper restraint for fifty years and there’s still some left. Politicians claim it to be so, scientists pound the table as fact, industry gives us a wide toothy smile, but the only renewable resource on the planet is hunger.

Tags: Alaska TU, Target, Harvard educated, salmon credit swap, bristol bay salmon, pebble mine, Orvis

You can use the extra on your underwear

Satin Finish 2 mil elastic Singlebarbed reader “TwoRod” has pointed us all towards saving a few bucks. His comment about 1/4” clear elastic as a substitute for the commercial “Super Shrimp Foil / Scud Back” products is the best replacement I’ve seen yet.

I went to eBay to see whether it can be purchased cheaper than the retail link Tworod included – and there’s a couple of truckloads available from a vendor (eBay store link) in New York.

Six bucks for 50 yards (auction link) with a satin finish. It appears tougher and much longer lived than the commercial products I’ve tried – and may last multiple seasons. The satin finish takes permanent felt pen quite well, allowing you to fiddle with colors and patterns with minimal fuss.

100 yards is a couple of lifetimes supply

I picked up a 100 yards of the material hoping I wouldn’t have to purchase it every season like the finer tippets.

Even that may have been a little ambitious as the resulting pile is about the size of half a loaf of bread.

I’ll string a hank on a tree limb to gauge its resistance to sunlight degradation, then hope I can impart some of that zeal to some fishing buddies to relieve me of a goodly chunk.

50 yards is plenty, and if prone to significant oxidation you’ll wish you bought half that. The eBay flavor is closer to 3/8” or 1/2” in width – slice it down the middle and it’ll make two strips of the appropriate width.

Tags: Czech nymphs, Scud Back, Super Shrimp Foil, fly tying materials, fly fishing, oxidation, clear elastic strip, eBay

California’s Water Pirates

The first in a series on the Water Wars of California …

 

… and the rebuttal. The solution is simple, put human life above all other life…

Putting Americans at risk and increasing our dependence on foreign foods? Isn’t that the same thing if we’re forced to import fish?

One last bit of upheaval

The potential exists for one last massive upheaval to the site. Scheduled for this weekend, it’s possible we’ll be offline for the better part of a day while sites are swapped between partitions and memory is reallocated to the respective blogs.

While it’s certain you’re pining away for fly fishing irreverence – we’ll be delivering what we can as memory and Nyquil’s fading bravado allow.

As always, we’re backed by tech support’s best interpretation of tea leaves and their sterling warranty …

“Three feet out the door, or thirty feet down the driveway.”

The Peanut Butter Sandwich a capable substitute for OJ

Naturally my first thoughts are conspiracy. Some war mongering industrial conglomerate attempting to take my “just kill me” flu induced weakness, to bar my prose from the collective consciousness …

… although the Trout Underground claims otherwise – something about the backup module of the blog software generating page faults that eventually took out a city block worth of servers.

I figure Shakespeare had the same problem, which is why he and Mickey Spillane went the “dead tree” route.

The Essential Flu Fighting Gear

While vile conspiracy sought to muzzle us forever, I was saved by a golden haired angel that replenished our larder with the barest of essentials, wooden peanut butter sandwiches compliments of the Girl Scouts.

Something to read, something to imbue with mucous, and something out of character to fill our belly in between naps – all the prerequisites for a sustained recovery.

Tags: test post, flu, sustained recovery, conspiracy

Through the Nyquil Glass, and Darkly

You take the green Nyquil and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.

You take the red Nyquil and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

I don’t think someone sits down to invent anything, genius just doesn’t function that way. Great ideas are unasked for and come unbidden with roots enmeshed in frustration – and what starts with a lack of #16 Elk Hair Caddis, morphs into some small structural change that survives additional abuse – or rides more gracefully, add a half dozen colors and it’s a viable new fly.

With most of the gaps in my flybox filled compliments of much needed wet weather, and an upright posture is preferred to prone – due to the ravages of the flu, much of what I’ve created recently are experimentals and variations on a theme, color, or just delirium.

… and as I plug away with Olive’s and Orange’s, Brown and Puce – I find myself tying a lot of standard patterns using only color substitutions, as their construction method is sound and reliable.

… or perhaps mucous has least affected the color centers of the brain, and the rest is tying via rote.

I suppose those tried and true construction styles are hard to beat, and changing the color of the hair or body is often more rewarding than reinventing the wheel.

Periodically I have to tinker with some of the classic styles to address deficiencies of their fishing design, hackle being the bane of the underwater bug. With its fragile stem and proximity to the head, and prone to Harm’s Way when sunken or aerial.

Brass beads aid in shielding hackle from most rocks and errant casts but eventually something is able to part the stem and the bug is lost.

I was emboldened by the Nyquil – as I’m prone to lightheadedness when airways cinch closed and crumpled Kleenex marks my shuffle between bed, bathroom, and tying desk.

Keeping the stem inviolate is the trick – whether it’s fish teeth, sharp rocks, or tree branches. On the above fly the hackle is parachuted around the wingcase butts, then a slip of vinyl is folded over, and finally the wingcase itself (which is also fragile). The vinyl will persist if the Pheasant tail is shredded, and the fragile chicken stem is never exposed to the elements.

It started as a wild enough idea, parachuting the hackle around the wingcase then folding the material forward per normal – as in the below.

… but then I realized the wingcase was every bit as fragile as the chicken hackle, and hiding the entire assemblage was the better idea. It’s an interesting take on an age old problem, and as I’ve not seen it before, the idea may stimulate your creative juices.

Tags: fly tying, parachute nymphs, fragile hackle stem, durability, fly style, test post

The Trout Underground Posts Bloggy Mea Culpa

This is TC of the Trout Underground (the fool who hosts Singlebarbed so all you malcontents will have a place to hang out together, leaving the rest of us alone), and I won’t go into the gritty details about what’s been happening beneath the surface here at Singlebarbed’s blog.

Suffice it to say we’ve struggled with a bad Web server, and moving a corrupted blog to a new host (which was crashing as a result) wasn’t ideal.

And yes, I’ve seen a few largely sleepless nights as a result.

Basically, Jack London stuff, but on a digital level.

Hopefully, we’ve got the bugs worked out, but we were forced to revert Singlebarbed’s damaged site to a backup taken a couple days ago.

I expect Singlebarbed – as soon as he’s back among the living, and free of his Nyquil-induced haze – will handle his missing posts (parts of which were recovered).

Sadly, there’s not much to be done about the last couple day’s lost comments.

With any luck, there won’t be any more posts like this. (Then again, with any luck, there won’t be any more blogs like this either.)

You may resume your normal blogging activities.

See you on the Internet, Tom Chandler.

We’re moving this evening, new web host

New host, better uptime The next 24-48 hours things may be a little dicey, as Singlebarbed moves from it’s existing web host to a new vendor. This will require a domain name change (DNS) that will have to propagate over to other servers to update the site’s IP address and locale.

What that means in simple terms is that your browser may send you somewhere we aren’t – and the condition will persist until your local address cache or DNS server receives the updated location.

… which is why my posts are few and far between this weekend. We chew fingernail while the Trout Underground ignores spouse, children, and Valentine’s Day – to ensure your access to fly fishing fancy remains inviolate …

Tags: DNS server, IP address, chew fingernails, web host, Liquid Motion

The cure for what ails me

Fog is starting to lift and I’m gripped with the fervor. A slim chance of fishing this weekend – and unsure whether the ills of recent server issues are behind us…

We’ll test her out by slamming a big JPEG or two into the deep end and see if she holds.

The cure for the common Winter malaise is size – with a leavening of silliness just to keep us on our toes.

The Cure for Shack Nasties is size

Just the thought of something bold enough to slam a size 2, is enough to pat the vest for a tippet spool appropriate to handle weight. Awkward and ungainly – barely able to remain aloft – and doesn’t land so much as craters.

Thorax needs a “D” cup, we’ll do better on the next one.

Tags: Czech Stonefly, fly tying, server test, winter blues, whimsy

Server Crash silences lippy pear shaped author

ServerCrash I call it an enforced vacation, wherein the server dies screaming and the Trout Underground spends the next 48 hours with phone glued to his ear dealing with unrepentant tech support types …

… which I find funny, as I are one …

Apparently most of the data was lost after last Friday, but as most of the posts were forgettable – it’s no great loss. I’ve restored what I can – but we’ve lost all comments and my mail is once again inoperable…

My apologies for the service interruption, but in all things there is a bright spot. TC has a great excuse to avoid shoveling snow, and I get a day or two off to lounge around – versus scrambling frantically trying to find something to amuse you.

Bear with us.