Author Archives: KBarton10

Yes, but I thought that "big" portions were bad for you

KFC-Releases The SingleBarbed “Double Helix” award goes to the folks that married stem cells with dinosaur DNA to perfect the Tyrannosaurus Nugget. Hell yes it’s a crowd pleaser, as even the family canine can get in on the action.

While ancient DNA and laboratory cultures may save fisheries from extinction, prehistoric halibut could taste like toilet cleanser – you have to grow it first and find out, no?

Researchers were startled to find that most dinosaur-cultured meat lacks cholesterol, the prevailing theory is that since everything was chasing everything else, meat lacked time to grow any.

My, what big teeth you have, Grandma..

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All I wanted was some thread, now I have my nose pressed to the glass like a kid

All I wanted was some bulk cones of nylon thread, and a couple hours later I was engrossed in a bunch of products I never knew existed. All have possibilities for the fly tyer – especially those tiers with a sense of adventure.

Disclaimer : I haven’t seen these in person, and “thread” to the sewing industry can be “yarn” to a fly tyer – so you’ll need to eyeball these with caution.

  1. Solar Active thread – apparently the thread gets brighter when exposed to the sun, it will also change color. $31.95 for a pack of four colors. A pack contains peach (becomes hot pink), yellow (orange), peach (wine), and turquoise (blue purple).
  2. Polypropylene Thread – likely this is the yarn we’re used to seeing on the little cards. 5000 yards for $17.00, likely this will lower your flood insurance payment – buy 2 or more spools and your house will float.
  3. Glow in the Dark Thread
    FuFu’s Glow in the Dark Embroidery Thread absorbs the light around it andGlow in the Dark thread offers 15 hours of glow time.  I see this as an interesting experiment, call it “Thread that makes you go, ‘Hmmm'” Colors: Blue, Classic, Green, Orange, Pink, Purple, White, Yellow. 120 denier, 2ply (sounds like yarn) $13.95 for 1100 yards.
  4. Moonglow “Glow in the Dark” thread offers even more colors, $15.30 for 500 yards.

    5. Opalescent thread 5. Coats Iridescent Pearl Thread
    Might be an interesting ribbing material, at 40 wt it’s too thick to actually tie the fly with, but it may have additional value as a rib, akin to the many uses of wire. 200 yd. spool. Thread is 60% nylon core, 40% coated polyester. 1 Spool – $2.75

    6. I was surprised to find NYMO thread still around. Back in the 1970’s NYMO was the defacto flytying thread used by absolutely everyone. When they stopped making it the Danville and Monocord empire was born. It has been reborn as a “beading” thread for jewelry making, the smallest size available is “00” (2/0)- suitable for larger flies.

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I get 5% more distance, and 35% less fingertip – not a fair trade

I’ve been pounding the Sharkskin line over a month now, and lately it has been giving better than it’s receiving. Buyers need to understand this line bites, and I’m not kidding.

Another quality rope burn compliments of Sharkskin

This is my “trigger” finger after 5 hours of nymphing. Nothing heavy, just 300 minutes of stripping running line across my now tender flesh.

It’s a first class rope burn, painful enough so that you’d grimace if you needed to keep fishing – and would juggle the line onto other fingers to lessen the pain.

I haven’t seen any mention of this phenomenon in their advertising, but the 3M engineers are very much aware of the issue.

It is hard on fingers though, in applications that require a lot of casting and stripping. We recommend finger protection…

The idea of wearing protection on my trigger finger defeats the purpose entirely. The line is draped on that finger so I feel the slightest tap and can react with a hook set. After 300 minutes fishing, I’m liable to yell when I set hook, but it won’t be “Fish On” – more like “F**k Me!”

Bad idea, but great for the makers of “Phone Fingers” – they should sell snot out of the product as a result.

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Singlebarbed as Charismatic, our Grape Koolaid is made from Creek water

Kelvin occupied with a local residentIt’s over now, another Singlebarbed reader has got the “pooty” on him, and while the Brownline stain may come off his waders with a little soap, his soul is another story.

This is Kelvin, Singlebarbed reader, former Blueliner and aficionado of the pristine reaches of Lassen National Forest, now eschewing his old haunts in favor of a little Pikeminnow love.

I’m feeling a little bit like the Pied Piper and a lot like Jim Jones, somewhere in all of this is a good fringe religion, a Rolls Royce, and a tureen of Grape Koolaid.

Kelvin thinks I’ve been stretching the truth a bit on the crap water angle, as he saw the Little Stinking as something far prettier and cleaner than I had described.

The horse stables hadn’t pumped muck into the creek for a couple of weeks now, and the water was in good shape. The wind was a bit blustery, the dry fly fishing suffered accordingly, and after the rain clouds blew through the fishing started to perk up.

The Fly Fisherman Cover shot

The Carp are still missing in action, and the smallmouth were largely absent, plenty of large Pikeminnow prowling about – they were fixated on the spinners in the water, almost to the exclusion of all else.

Pikeminnow exhibit a strange behavior that I haven’t quite figured out; a half roll while swimming that seems completely out of place. I figured it was the steady diet of toxic waste – kind of like a nervous tic, only the aquatic kind. You’ll see the silvery flash of the flank of the fish as they rotate 90 degrees while swimming.

Initially I thought it was a feeding pattern, but after watching this all morning, I’m not so sure. If I start doing the same maneuver while walking then I’ll know it’s the water…

We covered a couple miles of creek and managed to seduce the occasional fish. The fishing was not spectacular, my guess is the storm that had hit the area the evening before was the culprit.

 Say Hello to my Not So Little Friends

Nothing beats a visible quarry, this is a pod of good sized Pikeminnow that we teased for a bit. The occasional bass added to the parade of fish, most kelvin-hat.jpgwere in the 16-18″ range. These fish are in 4 foot of water and would flee as soon as the fly impacted the surface. Kelvin and I wore them out as they ran from my fly – straight into his – and vice versa. If you can’t catch them, might as well drive them nuts…

Every pilot has to earn his wings, for being a good sport Kelvin was awarded the SingleBarbed “Finger” hat, for some it may be a transition into manhood, mostly it’s for entertainment purposes. Any guy wearing this chapeau, you can point at – then flip off, he got the Brownline on him.

Better read this before it’s recalled

IGFA tippet record? (They don’t test the fish)I may have to recall this post, as it’s getting fashionable to do so.

Most of you have seen the ongoing issues of lead paint in toys, and the numerous recalls that have set the toy industry on its collective ear.

The latest issue with “Aqua Dots” involves the surface coating metabolizing into the “date-rape” drug, gamma-hydroxy-butyrate when ingested.

As a fisherman, and well known for lacking both morals and principals, I’m thinking I may be able to turn this to my advantage. Aqua-Dots are small beads, and bead head flies are wildly popular for all species of gamefish, what better than to slap a couple on a hook shank and go for a IGFA tippet record?

I’m assuming that if a 420 lb Blue Marlin eats enough of these, he’ll be docile as hell and may even swim towards the boat to be petted. 4 lb test may be enough to land this drugged beast, with me the “toast of the Florida Panhandle” as a result.

I’m a sick man – but you knew that already.

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Florida backpedals from water pact

Water is the “cause celebre” for the Singlebarbed editorial staff, and keeping an eye on the tenuous arrangement unfolding in Georgia (as a precursor to what we all may experience), suggests the issue may be headed for the courts.

A tentative arrangement brokered by the Bush administration, between Georgia, Florida, and Alabama, looks like it may unravel:

In a letter to federal officials, Florida‘s environmental protection chief said the state opposes an arrangement announced in Washington last week under which the Army Corps of Engineers would cut river flows into Florida and Alabama in order to capture more water for Georgia.

The river reductions would cause a “catastrophic collapse of the oyster industry in Apalachicola Bay” and “displace the entire economy of the Bay region,” wrote Michael Sole, secretary of the Florida Department of Environmental Protection.

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist raised no such objections at a news conference in Washington last week, where Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne hailed the governors for coming together as good neighbors.

Under the newly brokered agreement, the Army Corp of Engineers would reduce water flows from Lake Lanier by 16%. The extra water would buy Atlanta additional time before it’s taps run dry.

Interesting to note that while “sturgeon and mussels” are oft-mentioned in arguments, it’s people and dollars that get the real coverage. Industry, voters, then environment… not surprising, as we’ve seen this all before.

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I’m eligible but I’ll take the path less traveled

Wii fishing controller“Will that be paper or plastic, Sir?”

That “magic moment” happened to me a couple years ago, and in one stroke you’re removed from the ranks of “eligible bachelors” and inserted in your rightful place, “old middle aged guys.”

Watching my peers fight it off is a bit expected and mostly comical; the endless parade of fast two seater convertibles, the “Grecian Formula” gambit, and Botox everything.

It gets a bit scary listening to two erstwhile “normal” guys talking about “mango-aloe-tofu” face peels, but this is California – so I take it in stride.

I’m tempted to interject, “Guys, Botox your gut, ’cause even if the 19 year old’s are giving it away, they still hate fat, balding guys with sweaty palms…” – but I don’t, I pretend I didn’t notice – pour my coffee, and run like hell.

I’m taking the path less traveled. I’m going to sit at home with the gut flowing comfortably over the belt and pound snot out of virtual fish. Botox might be an option, but I’m thinking I might inject it in my wrist, so I can throw them tight loops, like when I was younger.

Christmas is enroute, and maybe this Wii thing has legs.

I’m scratching my head over the accompanying items; “fishing rope” is obviously fly line, but why would they insist on a 50mm plastic fish?

Is that somehow going to convince me I’m really fishing? If that’s the case, don’t include a damn thing, as most of the time all I catch is a cold. Beat the kids off is more my speed, perhaps torment the cat a bit…

Us fishermen can’t ever look at our sport through the eyes of someone who doesn’t fish, we lost that ability when we got hooked, but it’s times like this that make me wonder…

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Less Mercury in the Delta, unfortunately everything I fish for gargles the stuff

mercury.gifI had to do a double take, I saw “Mercury” and “fish” in the same sentence and it was good news.

Today’s Sacramento Bee has an article reporting the findings from “the largest study ever conducted of mercury contamination in fish from the Bay Delta watershed.”

Biologists sampled more than 2000 fish from 22 species at 69 different fishing spots to gauge the effect of mercury used during the Gold Rush.  During that period nearly 75 million pounds of mercury was released into waterways by miners recovering gold from crushed gold ore. Much of the mercury is still present and continues to wash into the  Sacramento Delta with winter runoff.

“The surprising news, according to he study, is that fish in the southern Sacramento-San Joaquin Delta are not carting around as much mercury as researchers expected. This has allowed state health officials to loosen the consumption guidelines for certain fish species caught in the estuary.”

The California Office of Health Hazard Assessment has a long standing advisory urging  children and pregnant women not to eat more than one serving per month of Delta fish. Results of the study will relax the restriction to, “four servings per week of bluegill, catfish, clams, or crayfish, and up to two servings per week of Crappie , Carp, Sucker, or Largemouth, Smallmouth, or Spotted bass.”

</*end serious part*/>

I'll just lie here writhing in pain Naturally I take this to mean a total vindication for Brownlining.

The trouble is I’ll have to backpedal and rename the “Little Stinking” to something much more grandiose. With scientific validation, I can catch carp and crap fish by the ton, and if any “high brow” type takes offense, I can claim, “Yea, well…I can eat as many servings per week as trout.”

It’s akin to the kid that runs home crying to his Poppa because the kid up the streets dad bought a new car. Pop remarks, “tell Johnny, ours is paid for…”

My reverie is interrupted brutally as I glance at the rest of the article, “…largemouth bass and Sacramento Pikeminnow, for some reason, are more likely to carry these high doses than other species.”

I’m guessing the fellow that wrote the article is a SingleBarbed reader, he played me like a fiddle…

Don’t mind me, I’ll just lay here and writhe in pain for a bit.

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"I didn’t know" may not be as good a defense as it once was…

tiplogo It behooves us anglers to do some additional homework, especially when traveling out of state. Seven years ago, six western states created the Interstate Wildlife Violator Compact, which allows convicted poachers to have their hunting or fishing privileges revoked in all member states simultaneously.

Now the compact numbers 26 states, with 10 additional contemplating joining.

Unfamiliarity will not qualify you as a hardened poacher, but I wouldn’t take any chances, especially if you’re planning some much anticipated pilgrimage to Montana or Alaska. Each state exchanges its poacher information and your home state will be notified if you’re convicted out of state. It’s the “Angling Interpol” and it’s snaking it’s way to your doorstep.

“Oh, man, it killed me,” said Thurman, of Boise, who missed annual fishing trips this summer to Washington, Oregon and Montana. “It canceled my privilege of going into the mountains, really.”

It’s safe to assume that any fish related to those Mr. Thurman was convicted of snagging were doing somersaults of grief…

What’s unique to this process is the law you violated may not be against the law in your home state. It won’t matter, local authorities will revoke your license just the same.

What’s incumbent on us angling louts is to ensure we pick our fishing buddies carefully, some Brother-In-Law with a “heat on” may be stupid enough to get the both of you in trouble.

It’s one thing to step on my rod while inebriated, we’re blood kin – and I can overlook that…but you get my license suspended for a year, and once free of the courthouse – you’ll sleep with the fishes.

I will apologize profusely to your sister…

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