Author Archives: KBarton10

The Dawn of Angling Psychology, how a guarded response may be appropriate

Real help for declining angling skills Psychologists and I have an uneasy truce; they insist I’m unbalanced, I mention they’re on the third wife and none of their kids are speaking to them, neither of us wins, and both sides retire undeterred.

The rest of you don’t get off so easily, “angling psychology” is big business now, and the competitive fisherman needs a personal sports psychologist to hone that predation instinct. There’s no shame in treatment anymore, a cursory examination of your fly box yields precious insight into all your angling foibles, and the medical community will have you fixed up in no time.

Unbridled expressions of raw passion diminish our capacity to concentrate, focus on, and precisely execute complex tasks. At a practical level, emotional outbursts during a tournament waste valuable fishing time.

I disagree, swearing personalizes the angling experience, an amateur can waste valuable time chaining together a lucid string of profanity, whereas the professional has most of his remarks memorized, a practiced delivery allows him to focus on killing this fish, rather than everything within earshot.

Several tournament fishermen start the day by doing physical stretching exercises, a practice common in most athletic events. Top athletes in other sports also have an individualized set of mental exercises they use regularly.

The Doc is dead right, stretching exercises are important both before and after fishing; my routine stretches the speed limit to get there, a waistline-stretching orgy of salted pigflesh and eggs when close, and the post-fishing ritual of stretching the boundaries of truth and falsehood to anyone within range.

…you may see yourself as a fast-paced, intuitive fisherman. Many successful competitors are. However, a sports psychologist could help you recognize how and when you might carry these tendencies to extremes and show careless, impulsive, overly spontaneous behaviors that actually diminish effectiveness.

While intuition suggests “the rose is worn in front,”  your preference for female underwear may be the reason you only fish dry flies, daylighting this to a caring sports psychologist will free you of elitist tendencies and enrich your fishing experience. Impulsive acts can be productive, but not while wading or drinking.

I’m comfortable with my skewed view of the world, and would as soon skip the entire séance as it cuts into fishing time. When my feeble skills start to wane I’ll pay a visit to BALCO Labs and tell them Barry sent me.

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Remember Girls, the Sale starts tomorrow

These are appropriate for a guy

I’m guessing TC’s maimed finger has made him vindictive, it’s the only reason SingleBarbed is hosting the Maybelline fingernail polish ads all week.

I don’t think it’s a commentary of the kind and type of blog denizen we’re attracting, but if the population is now skewed to mostly women, I have little issue.

If the Trout Underground lightened up on the gratuitous soft porn posts, some of these nice gals would return. Pop always mentioned that, “I should feel as comfortable on the street corner as dining in the Governor’s Mansion” – and if the main event is discussion of Window treatments, so be it.

I’ll see you at the Macy’s line, say 5:00 AM?

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You don’t look like me, and that’s a good thing

Recent data from the Millennium Assessment suggests that there’s some unseen agents at work contributing to the decline of historic wildlife populations and species. Man is the root cause, but the conversion of land to agrarian usage replaces resident wildlife with an artificial ecosystem that is less diverse.

Number of species on the Earth

Scientists suggest the increased conversion of land in developing countries is assisting in the demise of native species due to a double stressor; domestic plants and animals are removed, and new commercial species are introduced. Historic populations fall and the commercial species compete with what’s left.

Sampling of these areas suggest that what survives is both smaller and fewer.

Genetic diversity is on the decline worldwide across all species; plants, animals, and fish. Research suggests that diversity is one of the least understood effects, as the loss of one species usually accelerates the rise, or fall, of others.

The rise of democratic governments has opened additional areas to trade, and with trade comes the same species everyone else is using for grains and meats; commercial crops are becoming less diverse as well, an issue of equal concern.

It’s an interesting read, suggesting that we need to set aside additional “preserves” on land and sea, to ensure our continued well being.

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Don’t scream at me for help, just toss me your rod

That fellow is going to be missing some fingers shortly I always hated those horror movies that featured gelatinous monsters that squeeze under the door or ooze through a keyhole.

Why did the cheerleader always insist on walking the beach at night, everyone knew she was a food group based on the eerie soundtrack, if she’d taken off the Walkman she’d have known it too.

So why is it anglers share the same fate? There’s no soundtrack to warn us, but there’s ample proof something icky, sentient, and pissed, is headed our way…

I got it easy, as any colony based organism that is oozing across the stream bottom is going to pick the young fellow next to me – he’s less stringy, showers more often, and probably needs little accompaniment, at most a light Chianti or lukewarm Pepsi Light.

Violet Tunicate Foreign mussels and bunker oil is a tad offputting, but when the Violet Tunicate makes his move on my arse, I’m gonna stab his multi-threaded ocular ganglion with a lit cigar.

… would’ve saved the babe in the movie, except she thought they stank. Youth, shows you what they know.

Brownliners are surrounded by ooze, the hard part is determining the sentient and malevolent species. All of them move real slow, so there’s ample time to escape and evade.

After fighting off some particular sneaky Rock Snot, I had to ask myself, “what hideous crime did anglers commit that has all these oozing multicellular colonies wanting to get even?”

It came to me in a flash, if they was any bigger, we’d be eating them. Hell, we ate almost everything else in the water, in many cases we ate it twice..

Little wonder the gelatinous horde has a chip on its collective shoulder..

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Tools of the Trade – Part 1

Scissors designed to cut at the tip are really importantVery little is ever written about commercial fly tiers, mostly they’re a vanishing breed, due in large part to the overseas fly tying trade. Domestic production is still a cottage industry with each shop a blend of local and offshore flies.

The “Professional” fly tyer is another matter entirely, plenty of them around, although most would balk at that label. Professional isn’t about the money it’s about the time spent tying, and if you tie an hour or more daily, you’re a candidate.

Tying multiple hours a night needs to be treated like a business even if it’s a passion. You’ve outgrown that leftover, hand me down, garage sale setup you cobbled together, and aren’t willing to come to grips with what you need. Storage and tools have always been priorities for a professional tier, yet they always take a back seat to buying more materials.

Fly tiers are incapable of tying in comfort, they’ll drop $300 on chicken feathers without batting an eyelash, then sit on a stack of newspapers while tying.

The lifeblood of any serious tyer is his vise and scissors, no other tools are as important to his craft, nor have as much affect on the finished product. Vise choice is very much individualistic, with much press and opinion on the relative merits of assorted manufacturers, necessary features, and rotating gadgets.

What’s never talked about is scissors and why 95% of all fly tiers use crap.  It’s a “rogue’s gallery” of awkward potmetal scissors from India, small “pinking” shears sold in craft shops, or whatever they stole from their wife’s sewing chest.

Craft store scissors and small sewing scissors are made for women, they have small finger holes not suitable for hammy male fingers. They’re rarely available in sizes beyond 4″ in length, and despite having “fine” points, are meant to cut cloth, thread, and yarn – at the base of the scissor not at the points.

Fly shop scissors will suit a beginner fine, the $12.00 investment for a set of Dr. Slick’s doesn’t harm a new tier much, leaving him budget for the important stuff – the endless parade of materials he’ll need to build the flies.

Professional tiers need two sets of scissors; a heavy “shear” scissor for cutting great hunks of bucktail and other unruly materials, and a fine point scissor designed to cut at the tip, for the precise cuts – like clearing a hook eye of fiber.

These scissors have been available for decades, but fly tiers rarely encounter them unless they’re a surgeon or doctor. Thousands of styles of precision scissors exist in the medical community, each shape and size designed for cutting different types of tissue, and depending on the task, they’re designed to cut at the tips, base, or the entire cutting edge.

Eye surgery needs precise tips, none of the surgery slices heavy bone or thick connective tissue. Eyeball components are delicate and scissors designed for an eye surgeon are precision instruments for tiny slices. Many are available with tungsten inserts, one of the hardest steel alloys available, allowing for razor sharp edges and precise cuts. Tungsten is also one of the most brittle steel alloys, and if you catch the hook shank with an errant slice you can remove the tip of the scissors completely.

Bill Hunter of Hunter’s Angling Supplies, was the first to introduce these scissors to the tying community, he described them as “cosmetic seconds” from the medical industry, and the retail was about $100 per set. He always warned prospective owners about the tungsten inserts and how cuts should be practiced before blindly whacking away.

The trick is to slide the scissors down fibers to the point of the cut rather than push the point into the area you wished to trim. Like you will, I learned the hard way, yet it quickly becomes second nature. Scissors of this quality will allow the points inside the hook eye, which means you have to be careful, and like any med student you should practice.

Dr. Slick scissors imitate medical scissors, down to the gold colored handles. Medical scissors are not “gold colored” it’s real gold, as it’s both antiseptic and malleable it’ll eventually scrape off the stainless handles.

Medical scissors are available in a dizzying assortment of sizes, and can be purchased to accommodate the largest of hands. The smallest I would use is the 4.5″ length, it’s among the most common sizes available and like all medical scissors, has wide finger eyelets so that you aren’t having to cram big fingers into too small an opening. Surgery can last many hours, and these precision tools are designed not to be fatiguing to the user.

Buy semi-curved versus straight scissors. Semi-curved allows the tips to make the cut without your fingers and wrist obscuring the cut area. Straight scissors require the hand to be in the same plane as the cut – often that mass of fingers and wrist can get in the way of your vision, with Tungsten inserts that’s a bad thing, one careless cut and you’re pissed.

Cheap semi-curved scissors are designed for toe nails with the blade curving from base to tip, too much curvature to be really useful. Medical semi-curved scissors start their curve midway down the blade, a much gentler curvature that you will instantly prefer. (Note the accompanying pictures)

The larger “shear” scissors can be the traditional straight edge. You’ll be using it to cut big chunks of deer hair and fur off hides, where there’s little reason to be delicate or restrained. Many prefer a serrated edge on the shears as serration prevents material from sliding away from the cutting edge, these require practice as well; serrated edges cut positively everything and lack forgiveness – it’ll take some getting used to as it’s a marked difference from traditional smooth edge scissors.

The below photograph shows the Ophthalmology scissors I purchased from Bill Hunter and other medical supply houses. Each set has been used for nearly 20 years, due to their precision manufacture each will last a lifetime.

Eye Surgeon’s Scissors, and some German Stainless shears

Do the math. With precision vises costing nearly $400, there’s little to complain about, a vise is used once per fly yet the scissors are used 10-12 times per fly. I’d rather buy a vise for $300 and a set of scissors for $100, a more efficient use of hard earned coin.

Medical supply houses abound on the Internet, and if you live in a major city you can visit and paw through them to pick the length, taper, and edge that suits your tying best.

The links included in the article demonstrate some of the range of points and styles available. Each of the scissors types can be further researched once the “name” of the style you like is chosen.  “Metzenbaum” and “Iris” are consistent across the medical community, all you have to do is Google the style name to find all the variations and prices.

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A female President may be the start of a long term trend

tarzan_and_the_amazons It’s the classic case of Good News and Bad News, maybe…

It’s all still theoretical but evidence is mounting that women will take over the world shortly, I’m not sure which news that is, but scientists are beginning to scratch their collective chins over the subject.

Half as many boys as girls are being born in some places around the world—and pollution is the prime suspect.

Guys have had ample opportunity to save the world, history would suggest their track record isn’t so good. We had fun shooting the place up, stomping the guts out of anyone smaller than us, and pissing on the remainder – maybe it’s time we took a window seat and let the gals fight over us for a change?

Studies of the effects of Estrogen in urban wastewater have determined that it can affect sex characteristics in fish populations, and that male fish are more susceptible to estrogen pollutants than female fish.

While not specifically tied together all of the data suggests men are more susceptible to a pollution cocktail then women, as a result we can expect less of us.

The angling industry will be the last to know, but the fantasy of meeting Miss Right while arse deep in a river, is mathematically more likely. I’ll overlook the reality that they won’t like fat old guys, but it’s a brief ray of sunlight for the rest of you young pricks angling fraternity.

The question remains unanswered, is this caused by our wallowing  in pollution daily, while the Missus looks on, alternately crinkling her nose or offering encouragement? Next time the toilet overflows, hand her the plunger – the life you save may be your own.

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A little Science is a good thing, as long as you ain’t downwind

charlietune I was actually wondering how it was all gone to end, what with the myriad of environmental pressures on fish, decline in historic populations, and then the medical community applies the boots to what’s left; “Eat fish once a week ’cause it’s healthy – unless it’s a big fish full of Mercury, then only nibble those..”

A lot of mixed messages, and one that’s clear, “..the problem with the few, is how they keep getting fewer.”

Part of the answer lies with the Scientific Brain trust, whose initial offering may lessen the pressure on what’s left, plants genetically engineered to make fish oils.

Experiments have proved that crops containing genes from marine organisms are able to produce omega 3 fatty acids normally found in oily fish.

On the one hand it’s a good thing, as it may reduce harvest pressure on declining fish stocks – a known “zero sum” game, as humans are on the increase, and fish are declining precipitously.

Ignoring the obvious issues around genetic manipulation and releasing it back into the wild, the real question is what does that crop smell like on a sunny day?

A little science is a good thing, but they may want to add some Breath Mint genes into the final DNA just so’s the property values aren’t affected.

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FEMA takes a dim view of initiative, which doesn’t surprise me at all

fema-help-desk In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, FEMA is balking at paying for fish lost by the New Orleans Zoo.  During the incident the premises lost power for four days, the zoo lost its sharks, jellyfish, all of the tropical species, and many thousands of additional fish.

FEMA assessed the loss and planned to reimburse the Zoo $616,000 to purchase the fish on the open market and reopen the facility, considered a major tourist attraction.

While the eternal cycle of paperwork and triplicate was being launched, the New Orleans Zoo sent an expedition to the Gulf of Mexico, Florida Keys, and the Bahamas, where they caught 1,681 fish at a cost of $99,766.

“FEMA would have been willing to pay more than $600,000 for the fish if they had been bought from commercial suppliers. But the agency is balking because the Audubon Museum of the Americas went out and replaced the dead fish the old-fashioned way, with hooks and nets. That expedition saved the taxpayers a half million dollars but did not comply with FEMA regulations.”

Seventeen months later the money is still tied up in a bollix of red tape.

“FEMA does not consider it reasonable when an applicant takes excursions to collect specimens” … “They must be obtained through reputable sources where, again, the item is commercially available.”

With the current housing glut, can we assume that the 3000 houses burnt in Southern California must be replaced by buying another empty home – or can the dispossessed hire a contractor and rebuild?

I don’t invent the stuff, I just report it.

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What you’re telling me is if I thump the beast I’m guaranteed to be sane

Sanity I just knew the whole “Catch & Release” concept was the root cause of the decline of fishing. Sure, fishermen dig the “nobility” angle and “Greenness” is trendy as hell, coupled with most anglers would rather eat Guano than fish, and it’s little wonder we embraced the concept wholeheartedly.

The Vegan’s knew we would fall for it, they baited the trap and the Sporting Fraternity walked into it willingly.

In our youth we never questioned our sanity, even when the bet involved us chugging a pint of Everclear, or mixing two sixpacks of Old English with Peppermint Schnapps, it was about manhood

Only after we picked up the fishing bug was sanity ever in question. Like the time you neutered yourself standing in freezing water for five hours, or the time your buddy called and coaxed you into a fishing trip on your anniversary.

That was insanity.

Fortunately Science has determined an antidote to this hideous plot, it’s as simple as eating your damn carrots…or your prey.

People who ate fish at least once a week had a 40% lower risk of dementia, while eating fruit and vegetables once a day reduced the risk by 35%.

It also explains why baseball players get such huge salaries:

However, eating other types of cooking oils containing omega-6 – such as sunflower oil – rather than omega-3 doubled the risk.

I bet those owners sure wished they hadn’t banned tobacco chaw in the Major Leagues, if they’d only known sunflower seeds was going to loosen their purse strings, they might have re-thought it.

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Right around 60 and counting…

The Night the Taps went dry in Georgia As the water issues in Georgia continue to worsen, Governor Perdue is planning a gathering of ministers and lawmakers tomorrow on the capitol steps, to pray for rain.

Singlebarbed staff are required to remain strictly agnostic, but we can’t help but wonder whether this is actually an appeal to a deity, or the last request of an elected official knowing his state’s fate is tied to the legal system..

At least western states have a number of deities to appeal to – which gives them a numerical advantage, not to mention assorted Indian tribes that have dances for that kind of miracle – I guess I feel lucky.

In either case, Georgia still lacks any tangible relief and the clock is ticking. Estimates vary but many suggest the end of January the taps will run dry in Atlanta.

Vicki Lawrence can change a couple of words and breathe new life to her career.

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