Category Archives: product

Time to get “heeled” and do your Governor proud

Our dictionary defines “keeper” not as a fish large enough to eat, but a significant other whose charity feeds our my addiction.California 2010 Fishing License

… I suppose she could be having a torrid affair with some buff appliance salesman – using this as camouflage, but does it really matter?

Most fishermen are packing the night before and are horrified that another year has passed and they’re without  Letters of Marque …

A gentle reminder that you’ve got about a week before your Governor puts his hand in your pocket.

… and don’t be surprised if the price has gone up a bit. A lot of state’s budgets are in disarray due to the financial meltdown and they’re looking to increase revenue stream.

California remains $41.50, same as last year.

About nine cents will make it to DFG and the fish, but it’s essential equipment.

Tags: California fishing license, Department of Fish & Game, significant other, keeper, torrid affair, letter of marque

You might be a fishing wienie if

… sure it’s the season of friendship, hope, and orgy of consumerism, yet buried way down deep is still a hint of Christianity … hard to see, but baby Jesus is sandwiched somewheres between that Lexus commercial and all the reasons I need a 54” flat screen …

… absent the three wise men, whose star led them to Best Buy, where they’re poring over red and blue maps and the merits of Droid versus iPhone.

Yet, in all this I find Hope. Not that I’ve changed spots any. I’m still the opinionated antisocial prick of Posts Past –  only there’s an item common to all fly shop clearance sales – suggesting you astute lads aren’t buying any.Simms Special Edition Wader mat 

The Simms “Special Edition” wader mat. I’ve scratched my chin and after considerable thought decided if you own one of these, you’re a complete wienie.

Strong words from a fellow that takes pride in offending everyone, wades in crap, and thinks the purity of decay is the new wilderness.

I recognize the object and its function, freely admit that twenty bucks isn’t likely to break anyone, yet I just can’t find a single worthwhile reason to own one.

… and based on recent sales data and the canny shopping of a spouse navigating the unfamiliar waters of the local fly shop, Simm’s may have invented the fly fishing equivalent of Soap On A Rope.

Why? Gals know dirt.

They’re tired of stumbling over your wet wading boots on the floor of the garage, the mud caked waders flung over the dryer as your anti-invasive strategy, and would just as soon fix all that.

… and there in the sale bin is their instrument of Truth. Precisely the same length as a four-piece rod tube – and when wrapped will fool you into visions of Sage, Scott, and she shouldn’t have … A carat and a half later (which you can ill afford) and the glee of Christmas morn shattered by a drip mat.

… and that’s the best case.

If we look at the raw physics, you used to have two wet boots, one set of wet waders (inside and out), a dripping hollow wading staff, and all of that gear wadded into the same area containing sleeping bag, half eaten loaf of Wonderbread, and room temperature Bologna – left opened in the trunk when you elected to dine afield.

Now there’s another wet, dirty object to taint your precious supplies, or leak into your sleeping bag …

Sherlockian deduction suggests it may be the car that is of greatest concern. Waders and wet boots stashed in finely tailored gear bags emblazoned with vendor label, crest of arms, or both – and while all else is neatly compartmentalized this will be draining into your cashmere interior – while you search the backroads for a rare steak.

… and the fact that you drove such a car down a pitted track to set gleaming next to mine, means you’re a wienie.

Volumes of literature and roadside signs warn you against invasive species. Tanks of chemicals allow you to sprits wading gear back to the sterile pristine, yet there’s a goodly compliment of passengers lining your “drip mat” – and while you and your gear are chaste, that mat is now host to everything you stepped in.

… which makes you a wienie.

Or it could be that you don’t want to get any on you, environment-wise. Slithering into a high priced prophylactic is done to curry favor with the outdoor clique at work, or perhaps it was the Boss – who thought this whole adventure thing would be a great team exercise. He’s self-made and only agreed to the boardroom suggestion of “off site” because he loves to fish.

If so, Mother Nature is likely to bust a cap in your arse and expose you as a wienie.

Try as I might I cannot come up with any desirable characteristics not furnished by an old Playboy or dog-eared newspaper, scrap of carpet, or extra floormat.

“Simms” brooks little argument and looks tastefully sexy in moonlight, but so does my tailgate. I remove dripping garments high above the taint of soil – where they’ll drain fetchingly next to the “4WD” accent.

… any fool can get a high-priced, low-slung euro-roadster down the hill, it’s getting up that grows the Iron Cross …

Unnecessary gear. Another item to forget on the day of departure, another excuse for a high pitched tirade by the car. It’s easier to move the loaf of bread aside, grab your buddy’s down jacket and use that …

… that only costs you dinner.

Tags: Simms Special Edition wading mat, fly fishing wienie, unnecessary bulk, waders, wading boots, invasive species, fly shop, baby Jesus, antisocial prick, IMHO

Singlebarbed Reviews the Ultimate Stocking Stuffer: The New Scientific Angling, Trout and Ultraviolet Vision

With our faddish nature I’m always surprised fishermen aren’t more fashion conscious. Our weakness has always revolved around something new as a wholesale fix for all our fishing ailments.

In the Eighties it was Polypropylene – lighter than air and a couple of turns on a hook shank would make a fly float all day. The Nineties were typified by gummy latex and a veritable flotilla of eye catching synthetics.

The last decade was dominated by pearlescent, opalescent, and oily duck’s arse – and the renewed promise that only a couple strands would make a fly unsinkable.

Now it’s the Ultraviolet spectrum and every vendor is hell-bent on squirting chemicals we can’t detect (and of dubious UV qualities) on everything from salmon eggs to dry fly hackle, claiming the “fish killing qualities of the ultraviolet are virtually infinite.”

… and in all this frenzy, Reed F. Curry’s book –  “The New Scientific Angling, Trout and Ultraviolet Vision” makes it’s debut.

FrontCover3in

Reed’s task is Herculean. Bring the stuffy lab-coated world of ocular physics out of its chaste mathematical surroundings, remove the obfuscation of scientific jargon, and adapt the material for fishermen, then drop the polished treatise onto the coffee table – there to compete with Playboy, People, and Guns N’ Ammo.

It’s a singular work, and his timing is impeccable.

Those of you familiar with The Contemplative Angler recognize that Reed’s quiet and biting humor is a common thread throughout his work; how he could remain stiff-lipped and scholarly was surely going to be a trial … and I was pleased he failed … miserably.

The book is reminiscent of a High School science text with the salient points highlighted by color in the margins. In this case, Reed spills both wit and angling reality into the colored boxes, a clear demark between the Science and Angler-humorist.

Fly tiers will read it like Playboy. Pictures first and text second – and the concepts of UVA (Ultraviolet absorption), UVR (Ultraviolet refection), and VIS (visible light) are featured in multiple pictures per page – which keeps the scholarly segments easy to absorb and engaging.

There is an enormous amount of real meat for the angler, and the segment of greatest interest to me was the discussion of “pattern matching” that answers that most elemental of all questions, “Why do fish think this is food?”

As the Quill Gordon floats within the trout’s range of vision – and here I am going to avoid the complex issues of Snel’s Circle, reflection and refraction and simply assume that the visual sensory input is very detailed and complete – the trout’s brain receives input of the fly exactly as it appears from below, in the full trout spectrum. VIS and UVR. The trout brain now gathers the elements that are attached to each other – hackle, body, wings, tail – ignoring floating particles of foam nearby, and assumes that it forms the whole unit. Against this gestalt the trout brain uses pattern matching, just as we would. The order of conditions is presumably the same:

  • First, check for danger. Is the object a known threat? “No.”
  • Next , check for food. Is the object a food item? “Yes,” “No,” “Maybe.”

And that is the crux of it. If as anglers we can establish “Maybe,” we have won the first part of the game. “Maybe” can indicate insufficient information which may lead to further investigation through other trout senses – Taste and Touch. In order for the fish to touch and taste, he takes an object in his mouth, hands being in short supply.

The section on “the composite insect” and how it fits into a fish’s pattern recognition “database” is enough to send any fly tyer into a reproductive frenzy.

Schweibert, Flick, and Swisher & Richards all gave us wonderful tomes about mayflies, most with wings intact and inviolate. Reed suggests that the all important “Maybe” that spurs trout to eat – may lie in the thousands of images of mayflies (caddis, etc) stored in memory.

Crippled, in the water and out, half in, struggling, fluttering, landing – double the images to account for the broadside view, quadruple that to take in the fore and aft of all the above, and you quickly get to millions of possible watery lumps that “maybe” food.

Which is why those old archaic flies we know don’t work like the McGinty, the Royal Coachman, and the Trude – all non-scientific flies, get eaten, and often.

“The trout’s pattern for mayfly wings, therefore, must be quite vague, perhaps simply a small extension from the body, light in color and displaying a hint of UVR. A trout that only eats mayflies with perfectly formed wings is missing a lot of food.”

As humans we view insects and their imitations with only the visible spectrum (VIS). Fish can use both visible and UV light to recognize prey, and at depth or during low light conditions where both are active, a mixed image is likely.

“Through UVR in combination with VIS, trout have an opportunity to see fine details of the chitin, the outer surface of an insect’s body and wings. How deep this vision goes depends, of course, on the individual trout, the conditions, and the insect.

… (trimmed by KB)

So, surface texture is significant because, despite what we see with our more limited vision, the trout can detect in the UV that natural flies are not perfectly smooth.”

The book’s photography covers the full gamut of angling gear as well as specific sections dealing with insects, fly tying materials, and the UV signature of colors in general.

Baitfish get some UV love as well. Rather than pile on more UV materials onto a hook shank – knowing which components of smaller fish are most visible in the UV spectrum suggests a thoughtful placement of materials – versus the “more is better” broad paintbrush.

… and while Reed answers more questions than he poses, it’s plain that both vision and perception suggest there is a great deal of unexplored territory left in the classic stalk and seduction of trout – and any other UV equipped gamefish.

This is a wonderful reference work for all anglers, likely to turn some of your notions about fly fishing on their ear. Careful study of the colors and their qualities under UV will assist in fly selection, clothing choice, and fishing qualities like retrieve and how depth may play into fly selection.

… and for the fly tier the color plates alone justify inclusion into your reference library. An essential book if you’re attempting to navigate the vendor offerings and add UV aids in insect imitations.

Me? My next fishing vest will be Bright Yellow … waders painted with a similar retina scorching disjointed color pattern – a not so subtle mix of the Bismarck and Elvis.

Pikeminnow rolling lazily between my feet as I’m completely invisible …

Amazon lists the book at $27.95, with only two copies left. Jump on it.

Full Disclosure: Singlebarbed did trade two (2) pairs of Sixth Finger Scissors to Messr. Curry for the privilege of owning such a superb reference work. Tears were involved … his mostly.

Tags: Reed Curry, The New Scientific Angling Trout and Ultraviolet Vision, Overmywaders.com, The Contemplative Angler, trout vision, ultraviolet spectrum, visible light, baitfish, insects, fly tying materials,

With the aid of a leafy branch you could remove your footprints

Safe Angling Kit On the heels of safe sex comes “safe angling.” No condoms here as you’re already sheathed in rubber …

It’s toxin-free angling with hook, line, and sinkers all biodegradable or pose a diminished hazard to ducks, geese, fish, small children, and pets. Kits comprised of circle hooks, lead-free sinkers, and protein enriched biodegradable rubber worms.

… which should probably be approved by the local fish and game officer:

FoodSource lures are molded protein, so not only do they catch more fish than plastic lures, they are biodegradable and digestible if a fish eats them. Plus, they are easier to keep than live bait.

… only because “molded protein” sounds like a grey area when fishing “artificial only” water.

Fly fishermen should be able to take the moral high ground, as outside of the Twinkie wrappers and water bottles we spew, most of our tackle already poses little threat.

We lack the studies to determine exactly when a blend of Polyester and nylon decays to the point of exposing a lead wire wrapped hook shank, but outside of the danger of hook ingestion – it sounds fairly sterile.

With the emphasis on rubber soled wading shoes there will be fewer of us – but the increase of shed vests, aluminum fly boxes, sunken shattered rods, and extra spools thrown by drowning fishermen will add some small toxicity, to be sure.

Tags: safe angling, recycledfish.org, lead free jigs, molded protein, biodegradable fishing tackle, fly fishing, rubber soled wading, Twinkie wrapper

Big on Yarn but even bigger on frugal

I see one of those “coat of many colors” yarns and I can’t dig the pocketbook out fast enough. The Good News is these mixed-color yarns are all the rage, the Bad News is fashion is capable of turning on its heel quicker than we can respond.

Furrari Mohair

I use a lot of mohair because it’s a cheap and plentiful “filler” for dubbing blends. Lots of sparkle and plenty of spike –  important qualities for big nymphs and steelhead flies, and especially Spey flies – which translate “scruffy” and long fibered into fly movement.

Detail view It’s the Poor Man’s Seal substitute, offering the same loft and spike yet absent the transparency and guilt associated with clubbed orphans.

This is Muench “Furrari” (France) and each skein is a blend of a dozen colors. It also boasts an extremely loose weave; two strands of black thread are the core, with a single strand of black spiraled around the mohair to keep it tight to the center threads.

It can be transformed into loose fur by yanking out the black threads and sliding the fibers off the center element. The mohair will collapse into loose fur that can be dubbed or added into something else.

Mohair Thread View The range of colors is the real bargain. Each color is about a foot long before transitioning to the next, plenty to wind a large fly body or yank off as a handful of dubbing.

If left intact the black threads offer the ability to wind it as a coarse, spiky yarn – with much of the black obscured by the trailing fibers. It’s perfect for the Jay Fair nymphs or anything else using mohair as a wound yarn.

It retails at nearly eight dollars a skein, but I got it off of eBay for five dollars. There’s quite a selection of colors offered by yarn stores selling their stock on eBay, most have priced it at six bucks per 80 meter skein.

Having a dozen colors in all the right Olives and Browns is a real boon for the frugal. It beats buying those three yard cards (x12) to realize the same color palette.

Colors shown below: Left (Purple, Green, Blue, Yellow) #4401, Center (Olive and Browns) #4407, Right (Grey, Brown, Claret,Green) #4401.

Furrari under incandescent light

The same colors shown under natural light. Makes a big difference.

Tags: Muench Furrari mohair, dubbing blend, filler for dubbing, eBay, J Fair Wiggletail, spey fly, combed fur, mohair, fly tying materials. mohair yarn

Just one economic uptick away from your Fish mobile

Some small segment of the readership gnashed teeth when the news broke of Hummer being sold to a Chinese company. Monstrous vehicles and the taming of wilderness go hand in hand with the fishing ethic ..

Most anglers assume that long hikes from the parking lot leave the hatchery fish and beer guzzlers a distant memory, and the ability to mash the forest flat while reclining in air conditioned splendor is the same thing, only less sweaty.

While the rest of the crowd promotes tents with solar panels, recycled water, butane stoves, and “Top 10” posts of natural occurring toilet paper substitutes – we know you better and won’t waste your time.

… you’re one economic uptick away from that Hummer, a couple thousand dollar fly rods to match, and if the new manufacturer offers the base model with tracks and bogey wheels – you’ll take that over milquetoast mud n’ snow’s any day. 

Dartz Armored with Whale Penis interior

While you’re at it you may want to think past the weekend expedition –and all those pine trees you mashed into the forest duff, how you laughed and made faces while the Warden emptied a couple of clips in your direction, as you rolled over his Jimmy like it was tinfoil …

It’s the Dartz armored. Mongolia was cool – but Camels have fleas and now you’re looking for something more serious…

Unfortunately you’re too late. The Eddie Bauer model had whale penis leather interior, they’ve dropped the lux package – due to the violent protest from Greenpeace and opted for something less painful to whales.

Nickname potential must’ve scared them off, especially with us less fortunate in the crosswalk fearful of the throaty rumble and pale skinned Dot Com wunderkind looking truculent behind tinted glass …

… another “Dick on Dick” comes to mind.

Tags: Dartz, armored SUV, fishing, whale penis leather interior, Fish mobile, far from the beaten path, glampers, carbon sensitive

Rivers of a Lost Coast released to DVD

You saw it, you loved it, and now you can drive the wimmenfolk batty with the original DVD, or merely the soundtrack – or both.

Rivers of a Lost Coast has been released on DVD, available for $29.95 from the folks at Skinny Fist Productions. It’s just in time to wreak havoc on the entire Thanks-Christmas holiday – and may cause the in-laws to stop fist fighting over who-likes-who-the-mostest.

Rivers of a Lost Coast

Bill Schaadt was a name mentioned with great reverence around the San Francisco scene of my youth. It was respect more than veneration, as his antics caused as much bile as admiration among anglers of the day.

I never knew the man, but like all of us – fished in his footsteps.

I’ve fished the Russian River many times, without success. Although I had a couple of near “hook ups” when I burst through the underbrush and emerged in the middle of a gay nudist beach … who thought my neoprene-encased svelte form was the second coming of John Wayne, hisself.

I apologized profusely, and tried the Gualala after that …

Tags: Rivers of a Lost Coast, Bill Schaadt, Ted Lindner, Russian River Steelhead, Skinny Fist Productions

The Ekich Rotary Bobbin

Seeing a new wrinkle in any of our traditional regalia has always piqued my interest. Cameron Mortenson at the Fiberglass Manifesto (via Moldy Chum) sent me a little tidbit figuring it would whet the creative juices.

The idea of a $100 fly tying bobbin would have had us gagging a couple of years ago, but once fly rods broke the $1000 barrier the lines between reality and fantasy became blurred – and almost anything is acceptable.

Billed as a rotary bobbin, with constant force spring and ability to retract thread as well as dispense it – an interesting idea, and something we don’t currently enjoy with our aging fleet of Matarelli bobbins and the countless imitations that Frank’s bobbins have spawned …

The Ekich Bobbin

The Ekich bobbin is available in Trout (20mm) and Steelhead (35mm) sizes, stainless steel or ceramic lined.

It appears the spring must be discharged periodically. My interpretation of the user guide suggests the spool needs to be reseated slightly to discharge the thread tension after usage.

Pulling the thread rotates the spool in a clockwise direction storing energy in the spring/clutch mechanism. The spring dispenses 60 cm (24″) of thread. At this point, it is fully wound and there is a noticeable increase in thread tension. The spring needs to be reset by lifting the spool just enough to disengage the drive pin. This reset is also required prior to thread cutting. The amount of thread left outside the tube during the resetting process will remain there without being rewound.

Cutting that small tang off the faceplate appears it may eliminate the need to discharge the spring, but it would also remove the ability to respool the line.

I love gadgets. Unfortunately, revolutionary change is elusive – and fly tying and its aged tools seem to be an excellent candidate for modernization, yet our quaint and curmudgeonly pastime resists change quite effectively.

It’s an interesting concept, worthy of the couple minute read ..

Tags: The Fiberglass Manifesto, Ekich rotary bobbin, fly tying tools, fly tying, Matarelli bobbin,

Things that dispense noisily that Bears won’t eat

It’s one of many angling axioms, how the outdoors-fishing ritual guarantees some unnatural food tucked away in a vest, or cooler, and daylighted with great trepidation knowing the catcalls and scorn that will greet luxury items from those roughing it.

A couple days worth of whiskers and yesterday’s underwear is about as close to Jim Bridger and Dan’l Boone as they’re willing to go, and reverence for the wilderness experience won’t slow them while they help themselves to your Big City larder and that bottle of fine brandy.

It ain't food unless it goes BLORT

Hardened urbanites prefer speed over flavor, evidenced by the growth of drive thru eateries. It may be time to fuse technology and  outdoor cuisine and give the traditional campfire fare a similar expedient makeover.

The threat of bears and lack of refrigeration eliminates “real” food from our repertoire, but Modern Science has provided us with Freeze Dried, desiccated powders we can recombine with creek water, and aerosol-extrusion whose tasty flatulence can now change camp life forever…

I call it “Blort” cuisine. Things that dispense noisily that bears won’t eat.

I’ve always found the Batter Blaster indispensable on my expeditions – and have christened it “Culinary Duct Tape.”

Any lip from “Mr. Roughing It” on the far side of the campfire and you give him a three second burst … flat tire? The Batter Blaster will seal the puncture and inflate the tire in seconds.

Shat onto a hopper hook, it makes a resilient foam body that can be shaped with a pocket knife into a dizzying assortment of terrestrials.

It’s chum for coarse fish, “silly string” for the kids, and any resemblance to actual pancakes is accidental.

Tags: outdoor culinary adventure, don’t try this at home, duct tape, roughing it,

Why we’re never consulted on game design

I’ve got more than my fair share of hideous vices but gambling hasn’t been one of them…

… actually I should retract that, as fishermen are among the most egregious gamblers known, we risk time, money, and domestic bliss on every throw of the rod.

it was the fly that caught my attention

It was the fly that caught my attention. A small blurb about the launch of three new online slot games, and while the fishing theme struck a chord I still couldn’t figure how it would translate to the degenerate gambling crowd.

When the fisherman appears on reels 1 and 5 at the same time, the Fly Fishing Bonus begins. During this bonus game, you’ll be able to choose 5 fish from the river in front of you. The fish have multiplier prizes ranging from 2X to 15X.

I guess they figure fly fishing was such a sure thing that you just point at the fish and they swim to your feet, light the charcoal and fillet themselves …

The game designer is obviously a genius with zero’s and one’s – but he’s never fished in his (or her) life. We know the reality:

… When the fisherman appears on reels 1 and 5 at the same time, the Fly Fishing Bonus begins. During this bonus game, you’ll insert 15 more coins, resulting in a blast of arctic air from the console, and a small spigot will appear waist high and pizzle icy water down your pants leg.

You’ll be able to see 5 fish from the river in front of you, three will be too deep, one will be out of casting range, and the last one – the largest, will simply ignore you.

Not likely to set any casino records for coin inhalation – what with a bunch of guys holding newspapers on their lap so the waitress doesn’t see the spreading dampness.

… not to mention her asking for ID every time she brings a watered down drink.

Tags: online casino, fly fishing game, Alaska fishing, degenerate gamblers, degenerate fishermen, fly fishing for money, vices, gambling fishermen