Category Archives: product

Them big hammy feet get shod on the cheap

With the manufacturers eager to adopt the trend away from felt soled boots, those of you interested in one last set – or adding a travel set for foreign waters, should be moving on that purchase.

Most of the fly shops no longer have the full range of sizes and the popular sizes are being blown out via sale, added to eBay, or walking out the door due to their compelling price.

It’s not often you can get a two hundred dollar boot for fifty bucks.

Travel boots

Sierra Trading Post has some still available, but the best prices and selection are at the Platte River Fly shop, which is unloading Simms and Patagonia felt soled boots at compelling prices.

I grabbed a set of Patagonia Canyon Walkers and a set of Simms boots – and was out the door for $120.

Not knowing how much longer they’ll be available, I made like Imelda Marcos …

This will cover me until I’m no longer able to wade.  Two sets of cleated rubber for my local infested water, one set of boots for watersheds in the Sierras, and now two sets of “travel” boots that I can take with me should I fish more than a single stream.

Use an aggregator to search for the sizes you need, it’ll save a lot of time and phone traffic.

Tags: Simms wading boots, Patagonia Canyon Walker, felt soled boots, wading shoes, felt ban

In light of this startling evidence, is the machine tied fly a myth?

The Daily Flypaper blog posted a fascinating video of the 1.3 million dollar fly tying system from Intuitive Surgical…

… which is a bit misleading, it’s actually an Intuitive Surgical robot showing off what it can do. ISRG has been the darling of Wall Street for a number of years, considered best of breed for computer controlled robotic surgery.

via The Daily Flypaper Blog

While the possibilities are endless, I wouldn’t expect the cost of routine surgeries to suddenly become cheap, perhaps scheduling them may involve menus and a drive thru, but operating amphitheaters remain in short supply. Us humans have shown remarkable resistance to technology especially if it’s holding a sharp knife – akin to the revulsion we felt in handing over our credit card information in the early days of the Internet.

1.3 million is about the same as pre- and post-Med tuition, excluding cadavers and books.

Naturally, watching the video had me wondering – as the work is intricate to be sure, but we’ve always insisted those bubble-packed flies from Japan were machine made, and if machinery intricate enough to create them is of recent invention – what made all those flies during the 50’s and 60’s?

Fly tying machine, circa 1943

Therein lies the mystery as I can find nothing other than a patent application for 1943. History buffs will recognize that it couldn’t have been used by the Japanese until 1946, but may have played an important role in reconstructing Japanese industry.

Is it possible we’ve been misled all these years?

All those big ring-eyed hooks, buttonhole twist cotton thread and a Scarlet Ibis gleaming at us from the capable hands of a human? Makes you wonder what he thought our fish were thinking.

Anyone know what these rumored machines looked like or have an account of automated post war fly machinery?

Tags: Intuitive Surgical, ISRG, fly tying machine, machine tied fly, myth, patent application, Royal Coachman, Wall Street darling, youtube

The Sixth Finger Roadmap, a Powerpoint presentation filled with dancing frogs

The prototypes for the next generation of Sixth Finger scissors arrived on my doorstep yesterday. I’d asked for them to add a zipper so I could change it each year and obsolete everything you already own …

I figured I could offer it as a fetching facsimile to the Royal Canadian Mounties and the cord that secured their sidearm. Three and a half feet of ballistic nylon – and should you ever lay them down, they’d be available to sit on once you returned to your desk.

It certainly would reinforce the notion to keep them in your hand – the downside would be you’re having to tie standing up for the next three months.

Madison Ave calls it “branding” – affixing the image of a product into your subconscious so you can’t help but think of me when you see it. I call it a life long scar, and you’ll never be able to look at a Band-Aid or tourniquet without cringing …

The vendor has added all of the enhancements I’ve asked for and produced something quite special.

The General Purpose flavor of Sixth Finger Issue: The current flavor of scissor is a light-duty specialty scissor, with small light blades and fine tips. It’s wonderful for trout flies and medium sized flies, yet has issues with thick or bulky. Those same light blades offer a small sharp tip – but can be deflected by a heavy woven four strand yarn, or bulky chenille.

Resolution: The debut of the General Purpose variant, designed to accomodate light,  coarse, and heavy materials. It is equipped with a larger, heavier blade that cannot be deflected. It’s simple physics that cause the issue, and adding mass to the blade prevents it bending out of the way, and lengthening the handle allows more force to be exerted to sever large materials cleanly.

The General Purpose will be longer by an inch, half of which is in the blade area, and the balance in the handle. The spring mechanism has been shortened yet retains a crisp positive action. Even better is the blades – about twice the mass – both thicker and longer, and we didn’t have to give up the fine tips.

As I eat what I sell, I’ve already started testing the materials that proved difficult on the smaller scissors, and have been chuckling with great glee …

But I didn’t do you no favor …

Pure Tungsten at the tip To assist both normal and this new “General Purpose” variant, I’ve also added tungsten inserts on both models, but I didn’t do you any favor by doing so …

Tungsten Carbide is one of the hardest metals known to Man, and in scissors it makes a superior cutting edge – one that will last much longer than conventional surgical stainless.

It’s also the most brittle. One bleary-eyed late night cut where you catch the hook shank up at the scissor tip, and you can take the points clean off.

This is true of $500 surgical scissors as well as inexpensive flavor. The only known solution is to make a blunt point which allows more tungsten into the area, giving the tip greater shear strength. As fine tips are essential on a good set of scissors, blunt is unacceptable.

Having tied with Tungsten inserts and expensive surgical scissors for the last 25 years, I can vouch for the fragility of the tip. Bill Hunter sold me my first pair and mentioned, “you’ll have to relearn your scissor work, or you’ll tear these up.”

I did. But at the cost of the first pair.

The second set lasted 20 years, so the transition is easy enough to make, but only after you’ve destroyed at least one set. In short, you learn to make all cuts away from the shank – never cutting towards the hook.

We’ve also opted for an adjustable screw to aid quick disassembly for sharpening.  Medical scissors attempt to braise or grind the screw to prevent seams that allow bacteria to collect on the scissor surface. This prevents the screw from turning – and tightening the screw is often not possible.

As all scissors eventually need adjustment (except in the medical profession where they’re often discarded) –  I’ve got a slightly different screw assembly on these prototypes to see if I can adjust it in the future.

Summary: For 2010 I’ll be offering three models of the Sixth Finger; a larger General Purpose scissor with Tungsten inserts, the current model of surgical stainless, and a variant of the original scissor also with Tungsten inserts.

Pricing and availability should be around the mid-March timeframe. I’m attempting to bring the price in around the $25 dollar mark for the Tungsten and larger General Purpose flavors.

… and my thanks for the many helpful comments and feedback on these “children” of mine. Many of you have been quite candid about changes you’d like – or features that suited you, and I’ve rolled all that into this second generation of product.

Based on what testing I’ve completed, they’ll go through your jeans and a couple inches of Gluteus before you have time to draw a breath …

Testers: Around March I’ll be sending out 10-12 sets of the new scissors to some of the existing owners as a test group. If you’d like to test one model over another I’ll inquire before I send them.

I’d like to upgrade everyone, but the economics say otherwise.

Full Disclosure: I came up with the bright idea, and use them daily, to the exclusion of all other scissors. But as I’m also the vendor – I am not to be believed.

Tags: Sixth Finger Scissor, Product Roadmap, fly tying scissors, Tungsten Carbide, adjustable screw hole, fine tips, Bill Hunter, RCMP, shameless commerce

If it were a book it would be an outdoors romance

I’m browsing some learned archives of scientific phenomenon while trying to stifle a yawn, when I saw a familiar banner.

Little known LSU professor dedicates life to the sensory capabilities of fish, discovers “can’t miss” lure system that guarantees extinction of all life in fresh water and salt…”

(Proof that Scientific journals can be no better than the last few pages of Outdoor Life.)

“… scientific lure company gets wind of the amazing new discovery and purchases right to manufacture amazing fish-killing-lure-system…”

Rainbow Trout, only $33.96

That old story has been around for at least a hundred years, and the only real question is how much is it going to cost me, and must I purchase batteries separately?

Amazing scientific fish-killing systems somehow are never cheap, and I can only assume it’s the lifetime of being sequestered in lab garb that requires such a hit to the credit card.

“The take home message from this is simple: fish learn and associate particular scents as food, but taste is an actual reflex for them. The taste of particular natural chemicals triggers a feeding response.” In other words, if a fish is exposed to certain taste stimuli, it cannot control its urge to bite. Obviously, this has huge implications for the fishing industry, but the technology doesn’t stop there.

Mentioning all those modern devices like patents and intellectual property adds a certain legitimacy, which is markedly different than the many snake oil variants of the past.

… and if my lay translation is correct, a fish that eats certain things simply must eat more of them – until it lies on the bottom stuffed and immobile. Lay’s Potato chips made a similar claim with their, “you can’t just eat one” advertising, so the science appears sound …

LSU’s Office of Intellectual Property worked closely with Caprio in the early stages of his technology’s formation all the way through the licensing agreement with Mystic Tackleworks, a company dedicated to developing scientific fishing lure systems.

For a 5.5” strobe equipped minnow whose “taste” tank is filled by jamming a plasticine nozzle in its arse and squeezing, you’ll pay $33.96. As they’re sold as kits, you’ll receive:

The BioPulse™ Freshwater Medium Diver Kit includes the 5.5″ Rainbow Lure with split rings and size 2 Eagle Claw ‘Laser Sharp” hooks, one canister of Sci-X™ Freshwater Neurological Feeding Stimulant, and one bottle of BioFlush™ Anti-Microbial Cleaning Solution

In a sense I’m jealous. The only time we’ve had the luxury of science and raw marketing genius converge was for the “Frisky Fly” – the little V-shaped buzz bomb of the 1980’s. Jim Teeny made a stab at patenting the Teeny Nymph, and everyone merely hated him for it …

…probably because it wasn’t scientific.

I made an attempt to patent the “Singlebarbed Sonic Fly Fishing Fish Summoner” – but was rejected on the provisional patent as dog food and creamed corn was already under patent …

… and I had a great spiel on why you needed to punch holes in the sonic assembly with a can opener …  audio resonance being the fourth dimension and all …

Thirty-four dollars per lure is a stiff sentence. I’ll assume it’s the Freshwater Neurological Feeding Stimulant that’s the LSU Professor’s handiwork, and wait by the trash can while Mr. Inconsolable throws that away now that his $35 in part of a bridge piling …

Who knows, the anti-microbial cleaning solution might work on waders …

Full Disclosure: Never seen or fished one, no plans to fish one either.

Tags:Frisky fly, Jim Teeny, Teeny nymph, Mystic Tackleworks, Biopulse fishing system, neurological feeding stimulant, bass lures, LSU

Time to get “heeled” and do your Governor proud

Our dictionary defines “keeper” not as a fish large enough to eat, but a significant other whose charity feeds our my addiction.California 2010 Fishing License

… I suppose she could be having a torrid affair with some buff appliance salesman – using this as camouflage, but does it really matter?

Most fishermen are packing the night before and are horrified that another year has passed and they’re without  Letters of Marque …

A gentle reminder that you’ve got about a week before your Governor puts his hand in your pocket.

… and don’t be surprised if the price has gone up a bit. A lot of state’s budgets are in disarray due to the financial meltdown and they’re looking to increase revenue stream.

California remains $41.50, same as last year.

About nine cents will make it to DFG and the fish, but it’s essential equipment.

Tags: California fishing license, Department of Fish & Game, significant other, keeper, torrid affair, letter of marque

You might be a fishing wienie if

… sure it’s the season of friendship, hope, and orgy of consumerism, yet buried way down deep is still a hint of Christianity … hard to see, but baby Jesus is sandwiched somewheres between that Lexus commercial and all the reasons I need a 54” flat screen …

… absent the three wise men, whose star led them to Best Buy, where they’re poring over red and blue maps and the merits of Droid versus iPhone.

Yet, in all this I find Hope. Not that I’ve changed spots any. I’m still the opinionated antisocial prick of Posts Past –  only there’s an item common to all fly shop clearance sales – suggesting you astute lads aren’t buying any.Simms Special Edition Wader mat 

The Simms “Special Edition” wader mat. I’ve scratched my chin and after considerable thought decided if you own one of these, you’re a complete wienie.

Strong words from a fellow that takes pride in offending everyone, wades in crap, and thinks the purity of decay is the new wilderness.

I recognize the object and its function, freely admit that twenty bucks isn’t likely to break anyone, yet I just can’t find a single worthwhile reason to own one.

… and based on recent sales data and the canny shopping of a spouse navigating the unfamiliar waters of the local fly shop, Simm’s may have invented the fly fishing equivalent of Soap On A Rope.

Why? Gals know dirt.

They’re tired of stumbling over your wet wading boots on the floor of the garage, the mud caked waders flung over the dryer as your anti-invasive strategy, and would just as soon fix all that.

… and there in the sale bin is their instrument of Truth. Precisely the same length as a four-piece rod tube – and when wrapped will fool you into visions of Sage, Scott, and she shouldn’t have … A carat and a half later (which you can ill afford) and the glee of Christmas morn shattered by a drip mat.

… and that’s the best case.

If we look at the raw physics, you used to have two wet boots, one set of wet waders (inside and out), a dripping hollow wading staff, and all of that gear wadded into the same area containing sleeping bag, half eaten loaf of Wonderbread, and room temperature Bologna – left opened in the trunk when you elected to dine afield.

Now there’s another wet, dirty object to taint your precious supplies, or leak into your sleeping bag …

Sherlockian deduction suggests it may be the car that is of greatest concern. Waders and wet boots stashed in finely tailored gear bags emblazoned with vendor label, crest of arms, or both – and while all else is neatly compartmentalized this will be draining into your cashmere interior – while you search the backroads for a rare steak.

… and the fact that you drove such a car down a pitted track to set gleaming next to mine, means you’re a wienie.

Volumes of literature and roadside signs warn you against invasive species. Tanks of chemicals allow you to sprits wading gear back to the sterile pristine, yet there’s a goodly compliment of passengers lining your “drip mat” – and while you and your gear are chaste, that mat is now host to everything you stepped in.

… which makes you a wienie.

Or it could be that you don’t want to get any on you, environment-wise. Slithering into a high priced prophylactic is done to curry favor with the outdoor clique at work, or perhaps it was the Boss – who thought this whole adventure thing would be a great team exercise. He’s self-made and only agreed to the boardroom suggestion of “off site” because he loves to fish.

If so, Mother Nature is likely to bust a cap in your arse and expose you as a wienie.

Try as I might I cannot come up with any desirable characteristics not furnished by an old Playboy or dog-eared newspaper, scrap of carpet, or extra floormat.

“Simms” brooks little argument and looks tastefully sexy in moonlight, but so does my tailgate. I remove dripping garments high above the taint of soil – where they’ll drain fetchingly next to the “4WD” accent.

… any fool can get a high-priced, low-slung euro-roadster down the hill, it’s getting up that grows the Iron Cross …

Unnecessary gear. Another item to forget on the day of departure, another excuse for a high pitched tirade by the car. It’s easier to move the loaf of bread aside, grab your buddy’s down jacket and use that …

… that only costs you dinner.

Tags: Simms Special Edition wading mat, fly fishing wienie, unnecessary bulk, waders, wading boots, invasive species, fly shop, baby Jesus, antisocial prick, IMHO

Singlebarbed Reviews the Ultimate Stocking Stuffer: The New Scientific Angling, Trout and Ultraviolet Vision

With our faddish nature I’m always surprised fishermen aren’t more fashion conscious. Our weakness has always revolved around something new as a wholesale fix for all our fishing ailments.

In the Eighties it was Polypropylene – lighter than air and a couple of turns on a hook shank would make a fly float all day. The Nineties were typified by gummy latex and a veritable flotilla of eye catching synthetics.

The last decade was dominated by pearlescent, opalescent, and oily duck’s arse – and the renewed promise that only a couple strands would make a fly unsinkable.

Now it’s the Ultraviolet spectrum and every vendor is hell-bent on squirting chemicals we can’t detect (and of dubious UV qualities) on everything from salmon eggs to dry fly hackle, claiming the “fish killing qualities of the ultraviolet are virtually infinite.”

… and in all this frenzy, Reed F. Curry’s book –  “The New Scientific Angling, Trout and Ultraviolet Vision” makes it’s debut.

FrontCover3in

Reed’s task is Herculean. Bring the stuffy lab-coated world of ocular physics out of its chaste mathematical surroundings, remove the obfuscation of scientific jargon, and adapt the material for fishermen, then drop the polished treatise onto the coffee table – there to compete with Playboy, People, and Guns N’ Ammo.

It’s a singular work, and his timing is impeccable.

Those of you familiar with The Contemplative Angler recognize that Reed’s quiet and biting humor is a common thread throughout his work; how he could remain stiff-lipped and scholarly was surely going to be a trial … and I was pleased he failed … miserably.

The book is reminiscent of a High School science text with the salient points highlighted by color in the margins. In this case, Reed spills both wit and angling reality into the colored boxes, a clear demark between the Science and Angler-humorist.

Fly tiers will read it like Playboy. Pictures first and text second – and the concepts of UVA (Ultraviolet absorption), UVR (Ultraviolet refection), and VIS (visible light) are featured in multiple pictures per page – which keeps the scholarly segments easy to absorb and engaging.

There is an enormous amount of real meat for the angler, and the segment of greatest interest to me was the discussion of “pattern matching” that answers that most elemental of all questions, “Why do fish think this is food?”

As the Quill Gordon floats within the trout’s range of vision – and here I am going to avoid the complex issues of Snel’s Circle, reflection and refraction and simply assume that the visual sensory input is very detailed and complete – the trout’s brain receives input of the fly exactly as it appears from below, in the full trout spectrum. VIS and UVR. The trout brain now gathers the elements that are attached to each other – hackle, body, wings, tail – ignoring floating particles of foam nearby, and assumes that it forms the whole unit. Against this gestalt the trout brain uses pattern matching, just as we would. The order of conditions is presumably the same:

  • First, check for danger. Is the object a known threat? “No.”
  • Next , check for food. Is the object a food item? “Yes,” “No,” “Maybe.”

And that is the crux of it. If as anglers we can establish “Maybe,” we have won the first part of the game. “Maybe” can indicate insufficient information which may lead to further investigation through other trout senses – Taste and Touch. In order for the fish to touch and taste, he takes an object in his mouth, hands being in short supply.

The section on “the composite insect” and how it fits into a fish’s pattern recognition “database” is enough to send any fly tyer into a reproductive frenzy.

Schweibert, Flick, and Swisher & Richards all gave us wonderful tomes about mayflies, most with wings intact and inviolate. Reed suggests that the all important “Maybe” that spurs trout to eat – may lie in the thousands of images of mayflies (caddis, etc) stored in memory.

Crippled, in the water and out, half in, struggling, fluttering, landing – double the images to account for the broadside view, quadruple that to take in the fore and aft of all the above, and you quickly get to millions of possible watery lumps that “maybe” food.

Which is why those old archaic flies we know don’t work like the McGinty, the Royal Coachman, and the Trude – all non-scientific flies, get eaten, and often.

“The trout’s pattern for mayfly wings, therefore, must be quite vague, perhaps simply a small extension from the body, light in color and displaying a hint of UVR. A trout that only eats mayflies with perfectly formed wings is missing a lot of food.”

As humans we view insects and their imitations with only the visible spectrum (VIS). Fish can use both visible and UV light to recognize prey, and at depth or during low light conditions where both are active, a mixed image is likely.

“Through UVR in combination with VIS, trout have an opportunity to see fine details of the chitin, the outer surface of an insect’s body and wings. How deep this vision goes depends, of course, on the individual trout, the conditions, and the insect.

… (trimmed by KB)

So, surface texture is significant because, despite what we see with our more limited vision, the trout can detect in the UV that natural flies are not perfectly smooth.”

The book’s photography covers the full gamut of angling gear as well as specific sections dealing with insects, fly tying materials, and the UV signature of colors in general.

Baitfish get some UV love as well. Rather than pile on more UV materials onto a hook shank – knowing which components of smaller fish are most visible in the UV spectrum suggests a thoughtful placement of materials – versus the “more is better” broad paintbrush.

… and while Reed answers more questions than he poses, it’s plain that both vision and perception suggest there is a great deal of unexplored territory left in the classic stalk and seduction of trout – and any other UV equipped gamefish.

This is a wonderful reference work for all anglers, likely to turn some of your notions about fly fishing on their ear. Careful study of the colors and their qualities under UV will assist in fly selection, clothing choice, and fishing qualities like retrieve and how depth may play into fly selection.

… and for the fly tier the color plates alone justify inclusion into your reference library. An essential book if you’re attempting to navigate the vendor offerings and add UV aids in insect imitations.

Me? My next fishing vest will be Bright Yellow … waders painted with a similar retina scorching disjointed color pattern – a not so subtle mix of the Bismarck and Elvis.

Pikeminnow rolling lazily between my feet as I’m completely invisible …

Amazon lists the book at $27.95, with only two copies left. Jump on it.

Full Disclosure: Singlebarbed did trade two (2) pairs of Sixth Finger Scissors to Messr. Curry for the privilege of owning such a superb reference work. Tears were involved … his mostly.

Tags: Reed Curry, The New Scientific Angling Trout and Ultraviolet Vision, Overmywaders.com, The Contemplative Angler, trout vision, ultraviolet spectrum, visible light, baitfish, insects, fly tying materials,

With the aid of a leafy branch you could remove your footprints

Safe Angling Kit On the heels of safe sex comes “safe angling.” No condoms here as you’re already sheathed in rubber …

It’s toxin-free angling with hook, line, and sinkers all biodegradable or pose a diminished hazard to ducks, geese, fish, small children, and pets. Kits comprised of circle hooks, lead-free sinkers, and protein enriched biodegradable rubber worms.

… which should probably be approved by the local fish and game officer:

FoodSource lures are molded protein, so not only do they catch more fish than plastic lures, they are biodegradable and digestible if a fish eats them. Plus, they are easier to keep than live bait.

… only because “molded protein” sounds like a grey area when fishing “artificial only” water.

Fly fishermen should be able to take the moral high ground, as outside of the Twinkie wrappers and water bottles we spew, most of our tackle already poses little threat.

We lack the studies to determine exactly when a blend of Polyester and nylon decays to the point of exposing a lead wire wrapped hook shank, but outside of the danger of hook ingestion – it sounds fairly sterile.

With the emphasis on rubber soled wading shoes there will be fewer of us – but the increase of shed vests, aluminum fly boxes, sunken shattered rods, and extra spools thrown by drowning fishermen will add some small toxicity, to be sure.

Tags: safe angling, recycledfish.org, lead free jigs, molded protein, biodegradable fishing tackle, fly fishing, rubber soled wading, Twinkie wrapper

Big on Yarn but even bigger on frugal

I see one of those “coat of many colors” yarns and I can’t dig the pocketbook out fast enough. The Good News is these mixed-color yarns are all the rage, the Bad News is fashion is capable of turning on its heel quicker than we can respond.

Furrari Mohair

I use a lot of mohair because it’s a cheap and plentiful “filler” for dubbing blends. Lots of sparkle and plenty of spike –  important qualities for big nymphs and steelhead flies, and especially Spey flies – which translate “scruffy” and long fibered into fly movement.

Detail view It’s the Poor Man’s Seal substitute, offering the same loft and spike yet absent the transparency and guilt associated with clubbed orphans.

This is Muench “Furrari” (France) and each skein is a blend of a dozen colors. It also boasts an extremely loose weave; two strands of black thread are the core, with a single strand of black spiraled around the mohair to keep it tight to the center threads.

It can be transformed into loose fur by yanking out the black threads and sliding the fibers off the center element. The mohair will collapse into loose fur that can be dubbed or added into something else.

Mohair Thread View The range of colors is the real bargain. Each color is about a foot long before transitioning to the next, plenty to wind a large fly body or yank off as a handful of dubbing.

If left intact the black threads offer the ability to wind it as a coarse, spiky yarn – with much of the black obscured by the trailing fibers. It’s perfect for the Jay Fair nymphs or anything else using mohair as a wound yarn.

It retails at nearly eight dollars a skein, but I got it off of eBay for five dollars. There’s quite a selection of colors offered by yarn stores selling their stock on eBay, most have priced it at six bucks per 80 meter skein.

Having a dozen colors in all the right Olives and Browns is a real boon for the frugal. It beats buying those three yard cards (x12) to realize the same color palette.

Colors shown below: Left (Purple, Green, Blue, Yellow) #4401, Center (Olive and Browns) #4407, Right (Grey, Brown, Claret,Green) #4401.

Furrari under incandescent light

The same colors shown under natural light. Makes a big difference.

Tags: Muench Furrari mohair, dubbing blend, filler for dubbing, eBay, J Fair Wiggletail, spey fly, combed fur, mohair, fly tying materials. mohair yarn

Just one economic uptick away from your Fish mobile

Some small segment of the readership gnashed teeth when the news broke of Hummer being sold to a Chinese company. Monstrous vehicles and the taming of wilderness go hand in hand with the fishing ethic ..

Most anglers assume that long hikes from the parking lot leave the hatchery fish and beer guzzlers a distant memory, and the ability to mash the forest flat while reclining in air conditioned splendor is the same thing, only less sweaty.

While the rest of the crowd promotes tents with solar panels, recycled water, butane stoves, and “Top 10” posts of natural occurring toilet paper substitutes – we know you better and won’t waste your time.

… you’re one economic uptick away from that Hummer, a couple thousand dollar fly rods to match, and if the new manufacturer offers the base model with tracks and bogey wheels – you’ll take that over milquetoast mud n’ snow’s any day. 

Dartz Armored with Whale Penis interior

While you’re at it you may want to think past the weekend expedition –and all those pine trees you mashed into the forest duff, how you laughed and made faces while the Warden emptied a couple of clips in your direction, as you rolled over his Jimmy like it was tinfoil …

It’s the Dartz armored. Mongolia was cool – but Camels have fleas and now you’re looking for something more serious…

Unfortunately you’re too late. The Eddie Bauer model had whale penis leather interior, they’ve dropped the lux package – due to the violent protest from Greenpeace and opted for something less painful to whales.

Nickname potential must’ve scared them off, especially with us less fortunate in the crosswalk fearful of the throaty rumble and pale skinned Dot Com wunderkind looking truculent behind tinted glass …

… another “Dick on Dick” comes to mind.

Tags: Dartz, armored SUV, fishing, whale penis leather interior, Fish mobile, far from the beaten path, glampers, carbon sensitive