I’m browsing some learned archives of scientific phenomenon while trying to stifle a yawn, when I saw a familiar banner.
“Little known LSU professor dedicates life to the sensory capabilities of fish, discovers “can’t miss” lure system that guarantees extinction of all life in fresh water and salt…”
(Proof that Scientific journals can be no better than the last few pages of Outdoor Life.)
“… scientific lure company gets wind of the amazing new discovery and purchases right to manufacture amazing fish-killing-lure-system…”

That old story has been around for at least a hundred years, and the only real question is how much is it going to cost me, and must I purchase batteries separately?
Amazing scientific fish-killing systems somehow are never cheap, and I can only assume it’s the lifetime of being sequestered in lab garb that requires such a hit to the credit card.
“The take home message from this is simple: fish learn and associate particular scents as food, but taste is an actual reflex for them. The taste of particular natural chemicals triggers a feeding response.” In other words, if a fish is exposed to certain taste stimuli, it cannot control its urge to bite. Obviously, this has huge implications for the fishing industry, but the technology doesn’t stop there.
Mentioning all those modern devices like patents and intellectual property adds a certain legitimacy, which is markedly different than the many snake oil variants of the past.
… and if my lay translation is correct, a fish that eats certain things simply must eat more of them – until it lies on the bottom stuffed and immobile. Lay’s Potato chips made a similar claim with their, “you can’t just eat one” advertising, so the science appears sound …
LSU’s Office of Intellectual Property worked closely with Caprio in the early stages of his technology’s formation all the way through the licensing agreement with Mystic Tackleworks, a company dedicated to developing scientific fishing lure systems.
For a 5.5” strobe equipped minnow whose “taste” tank is filled by jamming a plasticine nozzle in its arse and squeezing, you’ll pay $33.96. As they’re sold as kits, you’ll receive:
The BioPulse™ Freshwater Medium Diver Kit includes the 5.5″ Rainbow Lure with split rings and size 2 Eagle Claw ‘Laser Sharp” hooks, one canister of Sci-X™ Freshwater Neurological Feeding Stimulant, and one bottle of BioFlush™ Anti-Microbial Cleaning Solution
In a sense I’m jealous. The only time we’ve had the luxury of science and raw marketing genius converge was for the “Frisky Fly” – the little V-shaped buzz bomb of the 1980’s. Jim Teeny made a stab at patenting the Teeny Nymph, and everyone merely hated him for it …
…probably because it wasn’t scientific.
I made an attempt to patent the “Singlebarbed Sonic Fly Fishing Fish Summoner” – but was rejected on the provisional patent as dog food and creamed corn was already under patent …
… and I had a great spiel on why you needed to punch holes in the sonic assembly with a can opener … audio resonance being the fourth dimension and all …
Thirty-four dollars per lure is a stiff sentence. I’ll assume it’s the Freshwater Neurological Feeding Stimulant that’s the LSU Professor’s handiwork, and wait by the trash can while Mr. Inconsolable throws that away now that his $35 in part of a bridge piling …
Who knows, the anti-microbial cleaning solution might work on waders …
Full Disclosure: Never seen or fished one, no plans to fish one either.
Tags:Frisky fly, Jim Teeny, Teeny nymph, Mystic Tackleworks, Biopulse fishing system, neurological feeding stimulant, bass lures, LSU


On the heels of safe sex comes “
It’s the Poor Man’s Seal substitute, offering the same loft and spike yet absent the transparency and guilt associated with clubbed orphans.
The range of colors is the real bargain. Each color is about a foot long before transitioning to the next, plenty to wind a large fly body or yank off as a handful of dubbing.


