My weakness for metaphor is finally going to pay off, as we scoop the industry and embrace “metamaterials.” I don’t know if they’re lighter than bamboo, but if they weigh like lead I’ll assume that burden, I want this that bad.

In an upcoming issue of the journal Physical Review Letters, physicists Zhichao Ruan, Min Yan, Curtis W. Neff and Min Qiu of Sweden’s Royal Institute of Technology and China’s Zhejiang University show that a cloak made of metamaterials and shaped into a column could make the Muggle, witch or or wizard inside completely invisible.

“Cloak” sounds like a fabric but at this early stage of development it is copper rings swathed in fiberglass. I don’t think we can get in the water with it due to the spontaneous release of high voltage, but if they want a guinea-pig, I am sure going to volunteer one of you guys.

Copper and fiberglass sounds like a fly rod to me, and while those wary trout are eyeballing me eating my lunch, thinking I don’t have a fly in the water – they will be so wrong.

I cannot be trusted, I know this.

Technorati Tags: metamaterials, invisibility, fishing

I can handle rejection but not if it’s a Chocolate Old Fashioned doing the rejecting. When you get to my age, you begin the downward spiral, taking something to get something up, taking something else to lower something, it’s like Hollywood drug therapy only worse.

Today’s health news suggests you guys are simply perverts. Little wonder that our distinguished representatives in congress are soliciting votes in airport wash rooms.

“Among all the odors tested, the combination of pumpkin pie and lavender produced the greatest increase in arousal…The next most arousing odors were a mix of cinnamon buns, doughnuts and licorice; pumpkin pie and doughnuts; orange; and lavender and doughnuts. Other stimulating aromas were buttered popcorn and cheese pizza.”

Doughnuts? I can try to spin this into a angling thing, how doughnuts are associated with early morning drives – and how the anticipation of fishing success is actually the reason you may sport wood.

Nope, I don’t buy that. So if doughnuts are so compelling, why aren’t all guys cops?

Tags: doughnuts, angling arousal, men are pigs

I got my morning paper and a cup of coffee, I ‘m settling in to start my week and this little gem is on the front page:

“As hunting and fishing licenses decline, wildlife officials are seeking to collect maintenance funds from ‘non-consumptive’ visitors”

California’s fish and game department is funded largely by license revenue, which has been on the decline for some years (as reported by TC), so the department is looking to charge birdwatchers, kayakers, and anything else usage fees.

Naturally I assume it to be a fee for state parks and beaches, as the Great Outdoors is as porous a fence as the US border. A wonderful first step in getting funds for game wardens, but I think they could have gone one better.

Us fishermen, and hunters also, have gear restrictions – I want the same thing for birdwatchers…

“Ma’am, it’s single optic, strapless only – don’t tell me you didn’t read the signs!”

“But…”

“Sorry, Ma’am – that’s a $250 fine, and you’ll have to remove the strap on that camera.”

If I have to submit to a cavity search, shouldn’t they? We’re all enjoying the woods, it should be more equitable.

“Sir, I watched you photograph that Heron nine times, you realize it’s three per day, six in possession? I’ll have to take that film…”

Now that’s fair.

Tags: DFG, usage fees

Watching the panic on Wall Street is always fun, after you get over the fact you’re working 6 more years because your 401K is toast. In the back of my mind is that little demon that wonders how many points the Market will go down before the first broker climbs out a window…

They call them “Talking Heads” – these are the sharply dressed folks that are painted on the financial channel, urging alternately, calm, and “back up the truck – it’s buying time..”

This is the same gang that is scared to say the S E L L word in public, for fear someone would actually do just that.

I have half an ear cocked to the financial mumbo-jumbo as I am cooking dinner, when I hear one of these grease peddlers expound on how the Tech stocks are going to save us all.

Hell no, Tech has had its chance, I say Fishing stocks is the best play.

Buy low, sell high, right? Fishing stocks have dwindled by 90% over the last couple of decades, so they have to be at bottom. The fact that there aren’t any angling stocks means if we find something close, we have a monopoly too.

“Blue Horseshoe loves BGFV and CAB…”

What was the line Gordon Gecko used, “..Rich enough not to mend line?”

Technorati Tags: stocks, gordon gecko, blue horseshoe

Blessed Mother of Compound Interest, don’t fail me now…  Five short years from now the Space Hilton opens, and you’ll want to be part of the festivities.

Think of it, the total domination of your fishing peer group, who are frantically stuffing their 401K on the hopes they might be able to retire, while you – the overconsumer, are planning the pinultimate fishing experience.

It starts with the “Hi Mom” pantomime, broadcast worldwide compliments of a Mission Control telephoto lens, followed quickly by the detonation of 1,900,000 pounds of liquid hydrogen and oxygen – propelling you into angling legend.

I don’t know what you’re gonna catch, I don’t know what they’ll be eating, but Stephen King likely knows (or can describe) who’ll be your guide. Consider tipping large, as you don’t want to piss off a Wookie.

No more double haul – shoot the fly line and 500 yards of backing with a simple flip of the wrist.  Dropped your fly box? No worries, it’ll make a crater in your backyard as soon as the orbit decays. No boundaries to Space, no daily bag limits either. You can kill indiscrimantly, as it will take the UN decades to determine which warden has jurisdiction.

After Oprah and Good Morning America have their way with you, National Enquirer and Star will make you a hot property,  when that crowd loses interest, you have a lifetime of income from angling shows, and fly fishing clubs. This trip pays for itself.

I see where the Bottle Water Industry has finally regrouped and is launching a PR offensive destined to reshape it’s tarnished image. If you haven’t kept abreast of the issue; the revelation that vendors are selling purified tap water, are exempt from having to label it as such, coupled with the mayor of San Francisco tired of picking empty Avian bottles off his lawn, has the industry on the defensive of late.

I think there is a better approach than, ” Water is good, and better than soda pop.” 

They missed the entire Green effort, they could have said, “With the advent of global warming, and with declining water quality, Nestle suggests buying a six pack and emptying it into your favorite trout stream. Help the fishes, because Nestle cares.”

They missed the Iraqi freedom angle completely, martial music accompanied by Star n’ Stripes – featuring an orphaned waif drinking out of a shell hole – suddenly confronted with his first taste of freedom and democracy, compliments of PepsiCo.

“We’re better’n pop” puts them head to head with the big kid on the block, Budweiser.  All Bud has to do is have a couple of Clydesdale’s lap up some Aquafina, with a blond in the foreground exclaiming, “Water’s for horses, but beer is for men” and they’re cooked.

This has nothing to do about fishing, but with all the furor about astronauts and alcohol, whatever happened to the “Right Stuff?” You’ve either seen the movie or read the book – replete with hard drinking, slow talking fighter pilots nursing either a hangover or a cold one…

Gus Grissom may not have pooched it but he made them mortal, and if anyone was to strap 6,000,000 pounds of thrust to my rear end, I might need a stiff one before liftoff, maybe more.

I can hear Chuck Yeager now, “Hell, son… I used to pour a fifth of Jack Daniels into my diaper, them fellows never caught on..”