Author Archives: KBarton10

They can’t be that smart, they eat sticks and leaves

I’ve always struggled with fish vision and how it fits with my imitation of prey. Like most anglers I’m probably too quick to declare fly tying “success” and my brief victory may be for all the wrong reasons.

It’s hard enough to get into a fish’s head, but to look out their eye compounds the issue a hundredfold. The only adequate simulation is to chug a fifth in a single draught, erasing 160 IQ and yielding “fish eye” vision – but doesn’t give adequate time to tie enough flies before the remedy is expelled violently.

We’re left to guess at what fish see and think.

Prevailing theory has all manner of interesting wrinkles that most fishermen should be aware of:

An AP Black seen via binocular vision

Development of receptors for “blue” are among the last grown in human children, and it’s suspected that more primitive eyeballs (fish) lack these receptors – and view the color differently.

Fish eyes are tuned to their prey, and the movement of a fleeing baitfish is seen better by a Striped Bass, than a smelt.

The same fly via Fish Eye lens Fish vision is not binocular, they must integrate two separate images of the same scene when looking to the front. There is a gap of missing information between the two images – as fish have eyes mounted on their sides and cannot see what’s in front of their nose.

APBlack as two discrete images with gap Fish eyes have evolved over many millions of years in a pristine environment, now the Man has “muddied the waters” vision is limited by turbidity, and fish diets are changing – from what they’re attuned for, to what they can see.

While it’s a struggle to resolve the scientific detail, and our laymen’s understanding of vision, this has to be one of the reasons why a #16 Royal Wulff catches fish during a Pale Olive hatch.

While the Royal Wulff doesn’t resemble a Pale Morning Dun, if it enters the right focal plane it might be missing the entire red floss center section, or the skewed visual of hackles obscure enough to make it resemble what’s hatching.

It’s food for thought certainly, and when you stop to consider some of these theories, how many well known mayflies and caddis are blue?

Flowers are color coded so that the best pollinator responds to its bloom, I’m sure similar holds for the balance of nature – it’s why we gaze in rapture at the pictures on the restaurant menu, then gaze in wonderment at the lifeless turd that arrives on our plate.

I’d describe myself as an impressionistic fly tier, I rarely use exacting imitations with knotted legs and painstaking detail, those flies work best on fishermen. I like simulation and movement rather than detail, and the precise proportions we’re taught to use are skewed by water quality and the perceptive limitations of our quarry.

It’s akin to reincarnation, everyone is someone famous in a past life, and we accredit fish with all the “smart” traits because they outwit us. If that holds water, it’s likely they’re victimized by flatulence and bad breath as well.

I’d guess that trout eat as many twigs and stems as mayflies, like humans they can’t all have perfect vision, and the older the fish gets the bigger its prey. Not because it’s “big fish big meal” – rather it can see the big meal clearly, and little stuff could be food, but often as not it’s debris.

Could be I’ve stumbled upon the reason why there’s so many discrete streams of air bubbles in the Little Stinking, and how the residents earned the  “coarse fish” label.  We’re so concerned about the methane released by cows – and we’ve overlooked the real culprit.

It only took them two weeks and 17 pages, Geniuses all of them

Secretary Chrisman likes to double down It’s the latest trend among those in power –  circumventing the normal political process with urgency replacing the painstaking scientific work, and when called to task for the crime,  blame the other fellow for not thinking for you.

The financial crisis in Washington has emboldening every political hack with a year or less on his term to “fast track” legislation, but there’s still no surrogate for careful planning and research, especially when it comes to Mother Nature.

Now them idiot cabinet secretaries appointed by Schwarznegger insist they can build the peripheral canal without asking the legislature or voters. For those out of state, the peripheral canal is California’s answer to keeping the desert in full bloom, tapping the Sacramento River in Northern California and swinging the water around the Delta to fill the faucets of Los Angeles.

It was soundly defeated by voters in 1982.

The bad news is that the move will continue the orderly destruction of the Sacramento river delta, and what little remains of the Chinook salmon run.

It’s only 15 Billion dollars, and since Schwarzenegger is already in Washington with hat in hand, and his state controller issuing proclamations of the state running out of money in 45 days, might as well “double down” on the handout. How else can they fund the project without asking voters?

I assume they figure no one will ask what was done with the cash, so what’s the worry.

I can’t make the case that urgency warrants bad legislation. The fact that “everyone else is doing it” sets a precedent, but it’s a shameful one. We’d hoped we were electing our best and brightest, instead we got another set of clowns that copied someone else’s homework.

Part 1: Spey Kung Fu : Because regular fly fishing just isn’t mysterious enough

A Two Hander in the Pooty Water My New Year’s resolution was to learn how to Spey cast. Sure, I’m carrying too many pounds of flab, and drink far too much, but this resolution has a better’n average chance of me following through.

I thought it might be fun to return to those hideous days of clueless “Noob” – experiencing a mixture of fear and trepidation as you walk hesitantly to the counter hoping no one laughs outright at your halting, semi-understandable question.

Instinctively you look for the oldest guy there, figuring he’ll just sigh loudly and hand you what you need, versus the “young guns” who are enamored of technical detail and entirely oblivious of your struggle to follow their sermon.

I can pick up fragments of commentary; my tackle is “ghey” – ditto for the line I was thinking of buying and the antiquated click-pawl reel I was thinking of putting it on … I feel like someone’s wife hoping to score a Christmas present that hubby can actually use, and not knowing whether I’m being steered in the right direction, or how many hundreds of dollars is overkill.

Why is it that Spey casting has to set fly fishing back a hundred years?

All that pain and suffering to adopt a standard nomenclature, and based on someone’s whim – it’s thrown out the window.

My ambition was to start the long slow process of learning the physics and timing, just as we did years ago with a single hand rod. You get a  nice serviceable outfit and beat the water to a frothy lather, in doing so, you learn a little about what feels good and what doesn’t.

Being methodical I started with the Internet – watching countless YouTube videos and gleaning what I could from web pages and their commentary.

Things started to sour when I discovered rod vendors make two handed spey rods for #7/8 or #5/6 – and line merchants make spey fly lines in #6/7/8 or #7/8/9. As the rod merchants are in the same boat – they can’t recommend a line for the rod they’re selling – do you want a “light” #8 (6/7/8) or a “heavy” #8 (7/8/9) ?

Most rod makers list a grain range for the line best suited, and many line vendors don’t list grain weights on their packaging or website.

Traditional fly lines are weighed by the sum of the first 30 feet, and Spey lines can be sold by the first 50 of belly, or first 70 feet. Add Skagit, Scandinavian, and regular spey into long belly, short head, and multiple tips – and you can’t help winding up with a short fuse.

Searching for someone that seems to have sorted it all out leads you through a miasma of forums and bulletin boards on the subject. Within the first half dozen posts someone is calling someone else “ghey” – and you’re not sure whether the guy called “BashMomsHead” or the other fellow, “MyDickInTrout” is correct.

I think neither, which really adds to the quandary.

Multiple sinktip configurations abound; some require the purchase of running line, and some have it integrated, many of the online fly shop descriptions are unclear as to which you’re buying, and all have multiple 15′ or 20′ tips to add varying sink rates. At $150 per multi-tip line, you’re still wondering whether the light #8 or the heavy flavor is best – and throwing a lot of money at a hunch.

… and whose bright idea was it to call a sinktip a “polyleader?”

The AFTMA standards were developed so we wouldn’t have to play this silly “vendor specific” game, and we could buy any line labeled an “8” and feel confident we got something that works.

If you’re like me – with no casting club available or fishing buddy that is practiced – you’ve got a better than average chance of putting the wrong line on a rod and wondering why everyone else likes the style – when your rod feels slow and impotent when cast.

The whole “fit and feel” issue dominates the forums, with every third question being “what should I use with my ..” – so I’m in good company. I’m just disappointed that every other response involves someone’s mother – making the learning process painstaking slow as chaff is sorted from wheat, and opinions are isolated from ego.

I’m sure most of the issue lies in the original lines being hand crafted, assembled in garages out of chunks of other lines and leadcore, but it’s odd the mainstream rod and line vendors haven’t taken the initiative and evolved something resembling a standard.

I tried my first cast in anger last week, and it was a total disaster. I’d managed to find a brand new Echo Classic #6/7 on eBay for $130, and paired it with an Orvis Spey Wonderline that was on sale for $25. Orvis makes Spey lines in single sizes, the rod is listed for multiple sizes, and the answers on their customer service forum makes me feel somewhat vindicated.

Q: Please inform on the length end weight of the body (incl. tips) of your multitip speyline # 6/7, and #7/8?

A: Hi there. I’m Crystal from Orvis Customer Service. Since no one has answered your question yet, I did a little research for you, and here’s what I found out:
For the #6/7 weight the total length is going to be 110′ and for the #7/8 weight the total length is going to be 120′.

Naturally Crystal failed to answer the weight question, after searching their site and the Internet, it appears no one knows.

After my first outing I figured the Orvis line was woefully underweight, as even roll casting wouldn’t work. The beauty of having an abundance of old sinking lines means I can cut a chunk out of one and add it – clipping additional off until I have something that “feels” like it is the proper weight.

Spey lines with their multi-tip configuration run $150 each, and if you squawked at the Scientific Angler Sharkskin price, you can see why I’m being tentative, with the hideous price of the equipment and the lack of standards, I’d rather make a $30 mistake.

There’s little question that mastery of this style will allow any angler to add a couple tricks to his repertoire, especially if the space behind him is limited.

I’ll know how much help it’ll be once I can get a cast further than 20′ – which is my current personal best.

Buy one of these before you sober up

I’m not going to ask why you woke up on the fire escape wearing a tattered lampshade and a dog collar, I just thought I’d add the gentle reminder that you need one of these..

2009 California Fishing license

The solace of the piney woods is denied you until you visit your local Dept of Fish and Game reseller.

Yes, the price has gone up dramatically, no – you didn’t use it half enough last year, but this year is different.

We’re not looking for some austere New Year’s resolution, we figure if 2009 is anything like last year, this may be your ticket to the soup kitchen.

Then we can enforce a two year ban if they’re caught sober

M If an ancient and venerable sport like Chess makes guys pee in a cup, why aren’t we following the trend?

… because we know the plastic would melt?

Call it a byproduct of the entire sordid Political Correctness movement, but since most of our heroes have fallen in disrepute, and only absolute fairness is acceptable, I wonder if it’s time to make the fly fishing elite submit to the catheter.

The World Games is but a short step from the Olympics, and now that the Fips-Mouche contest garners participants from every corner of the globe, shouldn’t we legitimize the sport further with scandal?

Alcohol and fly fishing are joined forever in angling lore, what with Izaak Walton the son of a bartender, and Dame Juliana Berners known for tapping the sacrament wine closet – slurring her speech even on her trademark tome, “Fysshing with an Angle.”

Whatever they missed Charles Ritz and Ernest Schweibert drank, their combined works containing more toasts than a Wonderbread bakery.

The hard part is figuring out what to ban … and if that proves overly complicated should we medicate them all to the same level?

” Potayivich, Gregor, team Serbia, weight 110 kilos, that’ll be three stiff shots of Bourbon, two Quaaludes, and a stick of Thai. Gregor, make sure you blow the Doob outside of the spectator area, understand?

… Next contestant…”

I’d consider coffee as a temporary performance enhancing drug. A couple stiff cups with breakfast enhances the first five minutes of my outing – then I’m headed for the bank to enhance bushes.

Wax on Wax off

Non-drying, tacky toilet wax I’ve always assumed it fell from favor based on the unyielding goo Danville dips its spools into, their idea of waxed thread doesn’t share any of the properties that made wax a staple on every fly tying bench.

Both smaller thread and fly tying specific threads assisted in removing wax as a mainstay, but it’s still has capabilities that pre-waxed nylon and head cements have never been able to reproduce.

I still use quite a bit of it, mainly to stymie the smiling fellow in the plumbing department when he sees me pawing over the toilet gaskets. A two dollar gasket is the better part of a decade of non drying, tacky wax designed to stay supple with even my ponderous bulk on the throne.

dubbed_chenille

I use it to tame the unruly and coat materials that take a lot of abuse, where even a flexible vinyl cement will flake off … and on occasion, I’ll stretch the boundaries of materials – sometimes the results are useful, sometimes not.

The fly at left is flat forest green chenille that’s been dubbed_chenille_wet stroked with wax, then amber rabbit dubbed onto the chenille, which is spun, trapping the fibers. It’s a simple caddis imitation that once dampened offers a good looking scruffy pupa – akin to what Gary Lafontaine was after …

Naturally I like mine better, but I’ll let you be the judge.

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Extra padding might prevent that near fatal case of Tennis elbow

I've never fished with an angler that even resembled the model I’d never seen a book on angling injuries, and after reading how some fellow imbedded a sinker in his skull breaking loose a snag, I made the mistake of pausing.

Fit to Fish: How to Tackle Angling Injuries, sounded like it might be a quick read, possibly containing some sage advice about posture and negotiating slippery boulders; how to fall while protecting your rod, yet not breaking anything more precious.

One glimpse at the model was enough, my funny bone was piqued, and I asked myself who fishes with guys like that?

Perhaps the most famous of all Fishing is a sandwich that was stepped on earlier, and beer the temperature of the water, fishing is large breakfasts and the entire day spent fighting white water and scrambling up cliffs – with a damp cigar and creek water chaser, fishing is not rock hard muscles and taut physique.

If it was – there wouldn’t be injuries.

Certainly the most prolific angler of our day

Pictured are some of the famous anglers of our day. Known world wide for innovation, authorship, skill in casting or simulation, and have dominated the fly fishing landscape for decades.

… and there ain’t a skinny SOB amongst them.

I wouldn’t buy a car from some brawny introvert who paused to admire himself in the overhead mirror – give me some sweating fat guy that’ll lower his price just to get me to stop running all over his sales lot.

Casting Phenom

Hard core angling doesn’t fit the gym crowd, we’re not out there for the “burn” – we get burned, and as fast as our exertions melt unwanted flab, we’re quick to refill once the sun sets.

Fat guys are lippy, insouciant, and well rounded  – the kind of fellow that’s takes adverse conditions in stride, knows all the best holding water, the cleanest sheets, and which greasy spoon has homemade muffins, and can recite them even when drunk.

Fat guys know they can’t make it on looks alone – only skill will merit them a kiss from the Prom Queen.

Better brush up on your casting, accuracy is your friend

Get used to it We could certainly use some of those fresh faces, but with the barrier to entry multiple thousands of dollars, our economic woes won’t lend itself to any uptick in fly fishermen. Too bad, we could’ve used the votes.

Subsistence fishing is a torrid growth industry in Asia, what with the decline in worldwide markets, burgeoning layoffs, and plenty of folks with extra time on their hands.

“In the past, the number of anglers would usually be in the single digits on weekdays, but now they turn up in hordes and pack both sides of the river,” says Lin, forced to take unpaid leave by his employer, a memory chip vendor.

I expect we’ll see something similar, especially in urban waters with high population density, straining what few wardens remain on the payroll even further – and increasing the frustration level of regular anglers.

What’s needed is more artists and humor

hughmacdonald Fly fishermen are only slightly worse than the Pro Bass circuit, we’ve got more theories and a better pedigree than Sir Isaac Newton, and enough bluster and ego to believe our own press ..

Anglers only tolerate humorists and artists for trodding on our beloved pastime – and then only reluctantly.

davidkrys I say we need more of both, keeps us focused on the important stuff … lying to the Boss and stealing an extra day off work, developing an unemotional and scientific argument for yet another rod, and why you should be allowed to go fishing Sunday.

I’ve always assumed fishing should be like sex; four seconds of bliss followed by a lengthy apology – most of my outings bear witness.

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"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Brownline Santa Twas the night before Xmas, and all through the house

No one was speaking to me, not even my spouse.

Mamma in her kerchief, In-Laws aghast

I’m focused on nothing, but tomorrows first cast.

The children cowered, alone in their bed

While visions of monstrous fish danced in my head.

When out on the drive there arose such a clatter

I leapt to the window to discern what’s the matter.

Asshole buddy, drunk and in disarray

Resolved to drive for tomorrow’s foray.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear

A Dallas Cowboy’s cheerleader, armed with beer.

More rapid than eagles my truck I did start

Leaving snoring buddy, in-laws, and Dear Heart.