Author Archives: KBarton10

Government intervention is fashionable, but rarely effective

Chinook in flight Government intervention is a popular topic in all circles of late, especially finance. Most have lost faith that governments are capable of managing anything unless some foreign army is landing on a nearby beach, and then we cheer loudly as the feds show in force.

British Columbia is responding to the threat to salmon stocks in a manner that bears close examination, as it may be one of the few examples I’ve seen of forward thinking…

BC has the double issue of a large and entrenched salmon farming industry, which has had a rocky relationship with locals for all the obvious reasons, but it also has some of the few remaining pristine stocks of wild fish, not yet mown under by development and pollution.

To balance the needs of both, the suggestion is the creation of a salmon agency with jurisdiction over all the causal agents that threaten salmon – from logging and global warming, to hatcheries and farmed fish.

The forum recommended B.C. create a water and land agency by 2012 to oversee the cumulative impact on salmon habitat of all resource activities, from traditional sectors such as logging and mining to modern threats such as run-of-the-river hydro projects. Government progress would be subject to independent, open audits.

It’s a “cradle to grave” approach that sounds like a sensible and thoughtful plan – given that threats to wild fish are many and varied. What teeth they’ll have to enforce will determine success, but it’s certainly a holistic approach that could prove better than crapping millions of fry in a dead river and calling it reborn.

Multiple jurisdictions from traditional agencies guarantee painfully slow progress on any issue, often measured in years or decades. I’d think having all of that under an umbrella agency would allow them to respond quickly to issues at a minimum.

With the miserable environmental record of my state as backdrop, I’ll keep my fingers crossed that while Arnold won’t be back, his replacement might have a model to jumpstart our failed salmon management efforts.

Mutt Stonefly detail – no need to fear a little color

Per the request to see a close up of these colorful oddities, I’ve included the top and bottom view.

The bottom shows the color gradient the yarn induces, and the top view shows the different colors of Bernat Boa wingcases added. Most used Brown, Black, or Olive – but I used golden brown on the Golden Mutt.

 The top of the Mutt's

Both Bernat Boa and Moonlight Mohair change colors every couple of inches – which is the entire point to using them. Naturals have a multitude of colors or striations, only not as radical as what the yarn does.

The underbelly, showing the yarn color gradient 

None of this matters, add the six or seven shades darker the fly will be when wet, and how water depth filters color – in shallow water red is still red, but below 8 feet, red is no longer red. The fly will appear different than seen in normal light – that’s for certain.

The resolution of the above does not show the sparkle dubbing component I blended for each fly and used under the wingcases.

Some set fashion, some follow, others would be wise to wait

This weekend featured continuous sustained downpour that blew the Little Stinking into the Great Muddy – one 24 hour monsoon turned a sleepy fetid little brook into a chocolate gravel throwing monster – increasing its size tenfold.

I went out and admired the snarling beast, watching Audi’s and Toyota’s tumble past intermingled with goat guts and lawnmowers.

There will be new holding water aplenty – and while the bridge reverberated from log strikes and abandoned farm equipment – I couldn’t resist a couple of fist pumps, all we need is three or four more storms of the same quality, and us Californian’s can start to breath easy.

Enforced idleness allowed me to finish the Purple, Olive, Gold, Rainbow, and Red stonefly nymphs that SMJ and I’ll be testing come April. I’ll only share the magnetic versions, but he should fall for it repeatedly and often. I still have four dozen rubberleg versions to finish this weekend and I’ll have an even 10 dozen stoneflies – enough to get into all manner of trouble.

… after that we start working the mid sized caddis.

I’ve located a current source of the Polyamide double eyelash yarn I’ve been using on the streamers, figured to pass it along if anyone’s interested.

Plymouth Parrot Polyamide double eyelash

The Plymouth Yarn Company makes “Parrot” – a full sized double eyelash identical to the Gedifra Costa Rica that I’ve been using (and no longer made).  Crystal Palace Yarns makes “Rave” a half size double eyelash that is no more than an inch wide – yielding a polyamide “hackle” about a size #16 (once trimmed from the yarn and prepped).

Crystal Palace Rave

Both are posing next to my collection of bead equipped, full shank leaded, color-imbued, stonefly nymphs. I’ll mention the “Rave” hackled damselflies in the top left corner of the fly box once I’ve stuck something other than my finger..

Statistically Sage is a wart on the Shakespeare derriere

Despite the colorful nom de plume here’s what you look like; you own a Sage fly rod, you fish a Scientific Angler fly line, and you buy all your flies from Orvis.

Unfortunately for the $1000 rod crowd, the Shakespeare Ugly Stick retains the title of most purchased rod in the continental US, and is also the rod most purchased with a bundled outfit.

Southwick Associates the statistical think tank for angling and hunting released figures for last year’s responses from their AnglerSurvey.com site. Southwick is a marketing and statistical “for profit” organization that compiles market information for both hunting and fishing manufacturers – and occasionally releases free reports for our consumption.

Sage commands a tenth of the fly rod market, Scientific Anglers has nearly 25% of fly line sales, and Orvis is responsible for 10% of fly sales.

Individual reports are available for specific states, and the message is mixed – but trending downward, as are the nationwide statistics compiled by Fish and Game.

The greatest growth in licenses appears to be rural areas, with the urbane city types falling by the wayside.

For the Moldy Chum – Trout Underground Bikini War:

Your obsession with bikini based angling fantasy holds water, to wit:

Just shove them aside and claim your prize Statistics for California are unavailable, but Florida is a sunny state and a close approximation. There are 1,200,000 women in Florida between the ages of 18 and 29. Roughly 13% of the population bought licenses, of which the greatest single demographic (9%) was male retiree.

Figure 110,000 women in the proper age group are available to drape themselves in a bikini on a rock. You’ve repeatedly insisted that the “supermodel” variant is desirable; taut, lithesome, and abundant in all the appropriate areas. Assuming “Supermodel” is 10% of the available age group, there are 11000 women available to fulfill your angling fantasy.

There are 8000 lakes (greater than 10 acres) and 2300 miles of shoreline, and models have the opportunity to engage a bikini 2 out of 7 days, therefore, there’s 3143 supermodels available to lounge on rocks on a given weekend. This implies there’s a bikini clad lounging supermodel for roughly each three miles of shoreline.

Unfortunately, there’s five steroid fueled weightlifter boyfriends per mile – and those that aren’t dating senior retiree’s, will be mopping your face on granite should you unsheath your camera.

I couldn’t find statistics for lounging bikini clad supermodels that long to be courted by a sweaty fishermen old enough to be their dad, with a wet dog that insists on sitting in the front seat, whose idea of the perfect date included a chili dog with sweetened cabbage.

Any of you fellows want to put a number on that?

Stoneflies caught doing the nasty chat and you’re a freak for listening

Loosely translated it’s, “I dig the minimalist thing, and your cerci are smoking … call me for acrobatic sex.”

I’m tone deaf so I’ll opt for the TV hearing aid that’ll boost my fading senses – enabling the voyeur. If you’re headed back to the car and I’ve got my ear glued to a tree trunk and give you the wave off – you’d be wise to get take out…

I always wondered how them little buggers outwitted me despite my going to the creek every night. The ones that prefer abstinence are on the hollow hickory as lookouts.

brownline_rating

Are we headed back to the wallet based model

“I’ve even had an angler tell me that those who fish and dogs are the only two who need to wear a license around their neck.”

I’ve been “collared” for the last couple of years and haven’t had much issue, but a California Sportfishing group is apparently taking the Department of Fish and Game to task over the requirement that your California license be in plain view.

Easy to spot who's not wearing one I admit that the license clashes garishly with my Pith helmet and red suspenders – but the lack of fashionista lounging in brown water allows me to skulk from bush to bush without incurring a social faux pas.

Maybe if I owned “six pack” abs – instead of carrying all them cans, I’d complain more.

Mine is clipped onto the fishing vest which makes it easy to remember, but I suppose the casual salt water crowd has to remember to attach it to something – and if the fishing is slow and the suntan more important, I suppose they’ve an issue.

The McCloud comes to mind. Everytime I’ve clawed my way through brush and undergrowth to the water’s edge – it was to find something missing off the vest. Perhaps I’ll have a chance to complain later this season.

The Slaw Dog, an hour later and you’re hungry again

It’s plain that a food mascot is needed for any claim of blog legitimacy. Like pets it has to reflect the unique nature of the author, and the community it serves.

The Trout Underground has been serving us a steady diet of elitist Slaw Dog fare, typical Blueliner meal for one, isolationist … unwilling to share the dog or the riffle he’s occupying.

If he were to catch something, he probably would be mum on the pattern too.

Brownline chow is social, we’re unaccustomed to company and pleased to share our tucker. We don’t count slices, servings, calories, or fish – and care less which hand does the reaching. We don’t supply napkins as we make food spatter look good. We’re hearty fellows; a smile and a wave – and you’re welcome to share our fire anytime.

The Sandwich of Entomology 

Like our water, our food sticks to you – a lasting permanent memory ensuring you’re writhing in pain on the water should the hatch come early or late.

The Sandwich of Entomology; The bottom tier contains eight strips of bacon, six sausages and four burger paddies; followed by a second tier of black pudding; topped by a third tier comprised of two diced chicken breasts and six fried eggs.

If you can’t handle it, set it adrift – the fellow downstream will be pleased to finish what you started.

If we’re expecting company, we’ll select fodder that responds well to radiant heat.

 The Colonic Wheel O' Death

The Colonic Wheel O’ Death fits roughly in the large rear vest pocket; two extra large meat pizzas draped over 6 pounds of hamburger, eggs, bacon, Colby and Pepper Jack cheese.

Sure, we’re a little light on the veggies, limp lettuce is poor fuel for a day fighting icy currents and slinging bead heads, for that you need fiber.

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Bogart and Hagar might’ve been on to something

A 3,000,000 year old trout languishing undisturbed in a remote and semi-pristine environment?

… and while you’re thinking some alpine Montana or Alaska venue, and donning them Blueliner togs, think again.

The rare and endangered Bavispe Trout

This is Mexico’s finest, and since 2000 at least a half dozen unique trout species have been discovered and classified by biologists. A 44 page PDF on the history of trout and their dispersion throughout the Sierra Madre is available from the University of Texas, once armed with the details and common names other sites with additional details are readily found.

It’s a quick and interesting study, and the unique trait is pictured above – the red band on the lateral line of the fish is broken by black.

Like everything else, their watershed is diminishing quickly – and the more common Mexican Golden trout and imported McCloud River Rainbow trout are interbreeding with what small native stocks exist.

This ain’t Slaw Dog country, as anything dairy is liable to regurge uncontrollably, this is home to the temperature insensitive Brownline crowd, who don’t blanch when served real dog, corn tortillas, and peppers that makes your eyeballs bleed.

The Armageddon Scenario, you can’t eat an iPhone

That's how we roll It’s part of my duty statement as a computer geek; avoid eye contact with the customer, inhabit darkened alcoves with blinking lights and strange ritual, and finger all the donuts before selecting the one you’re going to eat …

Most claim I don’t fit the mold, a little too outgoing, a bit of rational speech in between acronyms, and I have outside interests beyond warming silicon and confusing users.

It’s still my responsibility to scare snot out of them on a regular basis. I see them growing restive and am required to restore their “I’d rather be at the Dentist” fidget.

The lunchroom discussion was, “buy gold.” Gold being the best hedge against whatever the economy has in store – and all the nouveau investors were regurgitating their best survivalist schemes – largely based on their VISA card still working. Some wanted to buy the gold ETF (exchange traded fund) GLD, others wanted to go buy some coins and salt them away in the mattress.

I listened respectfully while each newly anointed financial whizkid said his piece, then cleared my throat loudly, ” … screw that, I’m buying guns.”

Now that I had everyone’s attention, some sallow fellow hiding in the shadows asks, “why’s that?”

“Simple,” I says, “in an Armageddon scenario, the bank will be on fire so’s your safe deposit box is unavailable, the NYSE will be shut down and you’ll be holding lots of worthless paper saying you own gold – only you’re not sure who’s holding it for you and where, and now that I know which of you has it at home, me and mine will visit, relieving you of that responsibility as well as the bulk of your canned goods.”

“What are you going to do, throw a mouse at me?”

Us outdoors types have always held the Armageddon scenario in great respect. We’ve got Coleman stoves, sleeping bags, fishing tackle, the occasional firearm – and know which end of the match to light to warm ourselves.

While the financial folks gash themselves about declining graphs, we know that if it gets really bad, we’re surviving. The kids might have to get used to a dirt floor and video games drawn on a steamed window – but we can put vittles on the table and keep body and soul together.

A transient man has been arrested for fishing illegally in San Luis Obispo. 23 year old Victor Silva was arrested Sunday evening at five o’clock for fishing in the San Luis Obispo Creek near the Elk Lane Bridge. Silva was one of a group of transient men camped out by the creek. The Tribune reports that he admitted to wildlife officials that he was the one that caught the fish. In turn, Silva has been convicted of poaching a federally protected steelhead trout. While he was not charged with federal violations, he was prosecuted for breaking state Fish and Games rules. Silva will spend ten days in County Jail.

There’s a thousand wrongs in the above, too numerous to mention – and on every possible level. It throws considerable dirt on the survivalist angle; despite our knowing which mushroom is safe to eat, which bark makes a palatable coffee substitute, and how to construct a compass with leaf, needle, and capful of water …

… the warden is likely to take an interest in the gut pile out back.

I’d make sure you saw the courthouse burning before cooking the neighbor’s Dalmatian.

Leaden skies brings out the surrealist

I got a bunch of flies tied this holiday weekend, only I’m not entirely sure what it is I tied … perhaps I was rebelling against the sorely needed monsoon we experienced – with the out-of-doors gray, leaden, and dripping water.

Up to 7 feet of snow had fallen in the Sierra Nevada over the past week, and more was expected by early Tuesday.

… and that’s the good news, as it was the first major storm of the year, closing interstates and even prompting the Trout Underground to abandon the snow blower in favor of me delivering his groceries.

“Could be stunning Blue Wing Olive weather, you should come up – and while you’re at it, bring the following dry goods and victuals…”

I knew better, I’d fallen for the “..when you get to the driveway send up a green star-cluster, we’ll send Wally down with Rum and a toboggan.”

Even the Little Stinking is showing the effects of a sustained downpour, with gauge at Rumsey registering an additional 6″ of water, and a doubling of the stream flow.

 Purple Stonefly-type substance

I got into the swing of things thinking there might be some runoff this year, so I continued piling on extra lead and beads until I’d worked through the Purple stonefly-type things, and was well into a couple dozen Rainbow oddball-not-sure-what-this-is flies.

 All the colors in the rainbow, which usually follows a storm

By the time the big hooks came out I wasn’t quite sure what I was making other than a big splash when it hit, and a concussive wave following.

I’m gearing up in earnest, figuring all the fishing will be early this year. The storm may have added to the snowpack but it’s still quite away’s from normal – perhaps another couple of weeks of steady downpour and I’ll think about some dry flies, as it is now – it’s snow melt followed by should’ve been here last week.