Leave it to friend Leaping Bluegill to disclose the depths of our despair, how deep that hole is, and how our dry flies will be held hostage over the next couple of decades …
When it was wives and daughters we were bound by the laws of society, now that the enemy is a quadruped all we’ve got to worry about is angering PETA eco-pussies, and absent a life sentence for us patriots, Old Fat Ass won’t know what hit him …
He’ll crack an eye to the sound of the clip slamming home – but once those tracers start skipping off the wainscoting he’ll realize his days of farting on the sofa are gone.
I’ll wait until he hits that turn into the kitchen, when those trimmed toenails start to lose purchase, “skritch-skritching” on the linoleum and momentum requires trading paint with the fridge … flick that selector switch into full auto, put the front blade where he’s gonna be and lean on that trigger hard …
I seen “Old Yeller” and it sucked too. “Best Friend” was what we called you, because we never could remember your real name, you foulsmelling, fleabit, Prick …
Adorable little ruffian with Whiting neck hackles highlighting those dark eyes so fetchingly … We’ll see how well the anchors hold when I chase the little SOB through the dog doody area while four snarling steel belted radials seek to make “Foo Foo” a throw rug.
The Singlebarbed Guide to whether your Dog is worth keeping
1. Less than ten unassisted retrieves of live game last season, the dog is worthless and a potential harbinger of Satan.
2. … a hamburger is neither “live” nor “game”, see #1 above.
We had a chance when it was a fad, now … now it’s personal.
I was hoping this featherhead fad would fade, and fade fast. Alas, it’s mutating on an exponential scale! I fear to hazard a guess as to what’s in store in the coming months. Oh, the horror.
We’re screwed.
Cats
you might have gone too far this time. picking on man’s best friend.
my dog thinks that recovering anything, other than for personal consumption, is an arch betrayal of her canine ethos. she does bite the hand that feeds her. she doesn’t wear accessories. her fur is the PERFECT substitute for snowshoe hare.
you’re correct in implying that her loyalty is predicated on the availability of consumables.
so i have lots and distribute them frequently. the pattern of distribution creates an almost seamless cycle of adoration and loyalty.
in the event that those consumables are not immediately forthcoming our fragile relationship collapses and i become a liability, perhaps even a danger.
this is different than person/person relationships, how?
7-6-2, Full… Metal… Jacket…
O come on now! It would look sooooo cute in a crab pot!
I’m thinking that little bit of feather just might render the whole package suitable as taimen bait…
Any response I could make to this post would be so inappropriate and beyond the pale that it is prudent just to keep my yap shut.
Though the work “bait” does come to mind.
Retrieves of “live game?”
Dude, you gotta learn to shoot better.
They take our fly tying feathers to decorate their dogs…perhaps we need to take their dogs for our fly tying.
I’m thinking that “dog” in the picture would make a nice, shaggy nymph dub.
Shave them like sheep so they can be fussed over and citified with knitted blankies …
That would satisfy the accessory crowd, perhaps even some enraged fishermen.
The bait idea is also fetching, Taimen slashing at foot-long poodle strips, now that might bark a knuckle or two.
@Crawdaddy: You’re right as usual, but us Californio’s with our twisted morals and misguided guilt typically “pink” the SOB in the wing, hoping gravity will actually kill the beast.
That way we can face our Shaman without shame.