Monthly Archives: July 2009

Waders Bamboo Rods and Radiator hoses

Rescue Tape RollsFew items are as indispensable to fishermen as duct tape, but it too may have succumbed to advanced helical technology and high modulus with the debut of Rescue Tape.

• Incredible 700 PSI Tensile Strength!
• Insulates 8,000 Volts per layer!
• Withstands 500° F Degrees of heat!
• Remains flexible to -85° F! (-60° C)

Wader Repair will never be the same, with its ability to insulate me from lightning, climate change, and the hoary Northern sub-zero temperatures, my only complaint is it doesn’t taste like red licorice.

… hell, I can even tie flies with it.

Application is child’s play, merely wrap your soggy tuna sandwich in six or seven feet of Rescue Tape, and if you break a rod, spring a leak, or need a quick tourniquet, discard the sandwich and take a half dozen quick wraps around the offending limb …

tags: wader repair, rescue tape, radiator hose, fishing, sandwich

Your Tuna Salad resents your liberal use of mayonnaise

Simm's Naval Camo I hadn’t thought about it much until I started catching Smallmouth bass with regularity. Trout and saltwater fish shared a similar resigned expression when handled; dull and lifeless – as if garnished with lemon was better than cavorting with mayflies or seaweed.

Smallmouth were different, they’d fix you with a malevolent gaze, watching every move for a hint of weakness or a defiant attempt at communication. One glance into those red eyes and you knew the message was pain, suffering, and “getting even were you just a wee bit smaller…”

Us fishermen knew all along, but the rest of the population is only now discovering that their Tuna Salad is sentient…

.. and may hold a grudge ..

The public perception of them is that they are pea-brained numbskulls that can’t remember things for more than a few seconds. We’re now finding that they are very capable of learning and remembering, and possess a range of cognitive skills that would surprise many people.”

Unfortunately we’ll have to retool significantly, as social interactions between fish have been both discovered and proven, and a witnessed fear response communicates “predator” to all other fish in visual range.

Now, fish are regarded as steeped in social intelligence, pursuing Machiavellian strategies of manipulation, punishment and reconciliation, exhibiting stable cultural traditions, and co-operating to inspect predators and catch food.”

We’ve endured the vengeful manipulation for centuries, woefully underestimated our foe, assuming our fly was at fault and  not the real truth, that we were being toyed with

Science will forever change the landscape (audio) and the vendor community will be quick to fill the breach; with floating neoprene live wells – allowing us to release fish back at the parking lot, and Ghillie suits to alter our shape and form.

Forget those pastel colors, ditto for form fitting and rakish highlights – we’ll all be wearing battleship camouflage and double helpings of naval gray…

… but is it the Royal Coachman they fear, or the fellow wielding it?

When seven minutes buys you a couple extra decades

Us semi-pro eBay reel collectors are occasional victims of unchecked avarice – greed mostly. The pictures omit the missing screw, the bent rim, and the seller that’s hoping you won’t notice an unsightly wobble or loose spool.

That’s because we’ve got visions of Sugarplums dancing – the missing 3 1/4″ Hardy Princess Multiplier that we’ve lusted after for a decade has finally shown itself, and the “Buy it Now” button looms large and vibrant.

We open the box later to find a hint of malice – then gash ourselves for trusting anyone from Connecticut, especially with a seller ID like “Pwned.”

Fixing these aging warriors is a labor of love for me, akin to tying flies – with each scratch and wobble telling of great deeds and greater pratfalls, all in the name of fishing.

The spool latch mechanism is one of the few moving parts on a fly reel that is prone to eventual failure, yet so simplistic that it requires little more than a staple or hairpin to give a reel another hundred years of life.

The two styles of Hardy's (SA) system reel

Above are the two styles of System reels made by Hardy for Scientific Anglers. The black plastic center cap is the older series and had a poorly designed latch mechanism made from plastic – which failed early and often.

The second series replaced the plastic latch with the traditional aluminum cover and latch assembly common to all other Hardy models – a time tested design offering a greater lifespan.

The Plastic latch, pull the feet flat to add tension

Failure of the plastic assembly means the “feet” have weakened and need to be returned to their original shape.

Remove the cap to expose the plastic latch underneath. The two feet at the base of the plastic latch press against the cover to give the “spring” effect. Once the feet weaken and achieve a shape matching the interior of the cover – they’ll allow the spool to slide right off the center spindle. To repair the issue, merely pull the two feet back into a straight line as shown above, that’ll return it to a “spring” (as it’s pressed against the interior of the cap cover) and allow the spool to be mounted or dismounted while retaining latch integrity.

Old Style SA latch It’s a bad design, plastic just doesn’t have the longevity, and fatigues much quicker than the surrounding metal.

It appears wrapping some fly tying thread at the neck would also offer additional resistance to the feet being deformed – and for the terminal case, perhaps a replacement could be crafted from the stiff plastic of a pill bottle top.

The metal capped Hardy latches are a much sturdier design, but even metal springs weaken over time and have to be replaced.

The latch itself is a bar of aluminum or steel that’s been riveted to the spool. A small “V” of spring steel lies adjacent the bar and its contact with the interior of the cap provides the spring holding the latch tight against the center spindle.

Metal latch costruction

If the spring breaks it can be replaced with a similar “V” made from a hairpin or a spring steel staple from a heavy cardboard box.

Depending on the width of the flat replacement wire – you may have to grind it down a bit to fit under the aluminum cap.

Most of the time you can simply spread the existing spring outward, giving yourself another couple of decades before you’ll have to repeat the process.

Despite all the advances in reel design and materials, the latch mechanism is still quite simplistic – and over time the spring material will lose its vigor and need some coaxing. Contemporary large arbor reels are no different – and cracking open one of these engineering marvels can reveal equally simplistic mechanisms that’ll be prone to the same longevity issues.

The old Hardy’s use brass screws to hold the cap assembly in place, and these deform really easily. Make sure your screwdriver is sized to get complete purchase on the slot, if it’s too big it’ll shred the screw instantly leaving a ridge of razor sharp metal to greet them fingers.

Green Highlander, There can be only One

When the only thing we’d mastered was the “tailing loop” and overhand knots added via false cast –  long before we knew what Caddis were, or achieved something the books called “drag free” – we encountered the One Fly…

We understood dry flies because strikes were visual and obvious; feeding fish made dimples, and the stalk was crucial to our repertoire – inching closer to compensate for limited casting without scaring fish or slipping and windmilling frantically for balance.

If we had a vest most of its pockets were empty. A hastily wrapped sandwich, an extra leader and fly boxes that were pill bottles or containers the vendor supplied when we bought them. Stores were as baffling as Catholic ritual, evoking more questions than answers, and while we handled and wiggled all the things we didn’t understand, we’d eventually wind up steaming the glass of the fly display.

… neat little rows of gaily colored Catskill dry flies; Coachmen, Female Beaverkill’s, Quill Gordon’s, and the Light Cahill – and while conscious of the different sizes – only one size was apparent to our untrained eye ..

Small.

At some point we’d draw the attention of some smiling fellow with a tie, who’d seen our quandary countless times, allowing us to summon the nerve to ask, “what would you use if you were going to the …”

Even then it wasn’t simple, it was pleasant and unfettered by splashy or strident. Fly fishing was something Dad did – and while the first half dozen trips had been alternately hellishly cold, blazing hot, or full of bloodsucking wildlife –  appreciation for the woods was slowly replacing fear of the unknown, yet full appreciation was still at arm’s length, wood smoke and trout were a distant second to a cheeseburger.

Many of those first lessons were painful; don’t grabass with Older Bro near the stacked rods, don’t throw rocks near Pop or near dusk, and don’t throw your metal Ace Hardware bait casting rod into the creek unless you wanted to learn how far Poppa’s swift retribution could send you … and how cold and deep it was when you got there.

But the “One Fly” was special and portent to all the hideous rituals to follow. It was the fly you caught your first fish with – emerging head and shoulders above all others, the first fly whose name you’d suddenly memorized.

That first fish was an inkling one day you might master this craft, and while your casting hadn’t improved and your Latin hadn’t progressed past “amscray” – armed with a couple dozen of “The One” and the creek and all its progeny were toast.

Success  transformed us from Acolyte to Master, the One Fly begat the First Fish – which begat the First Opinion, which ushered in all those effete arcane rituals you swear by today …

The One Fly, Mosquito

Mine was the Mosquito, an instinctive choice for a young lad that doesn’t know better –  only Poison Oak is more indelibly associated with the Woods, yet has no parallel in any shop’s fly selection.

A.J. McClane’s Standard Fishing Encyclopedia offered a fuzzy color plate whose hackle tip wings were swallowed by surrounding hackle, my early renditions were absent wings – just grizzly hackle and black Nymo ribbed with gray thread.

The Sierra’s and all the trout therein trembled before my tailing loop and wingless variant, and Match the Hatch meant the fly landed in water instead of snarled in overhanging Pine..

Sophistication was learning that Willow sap added a light yellow stain to the hackle.  Countless hours cursing my backcast and untangling leaders and fly from same, spawned the little known Deadly Yellow Variant – the counterpunch for finicky small stream trout.

The One Fly, it was Confidence Incarnate – defying the wisdom of Matching the Hatch and every tome since.

The feverish debut of Sporting Creek

Evidence of the Sporting Fraternity Doctor Mom would’ve given me a good scolding, the Evil Eye, and an increased ration of Chicken soup.

 A significant relapse this weekend suggested I’d returned to work much too early, and after feverishly climbing back into bed Saturday, I was just as feverishly climbing out of bed Sunday morning.

For the next couple of months we’re enduring “plus change” weather, you add 100 degrees to the “change” and if you can’t get it done by 10AM it’ll have to wait until tomorrow morning…

I felt pretty good after securing the groceries and laundry by 6AM, so I packed a couple liters of water, rod and vest, and took off adventuring before I thought better of the idea.

Rumors of a vast fetid waterway full of Carp, yet limited by my tenuous health meant all the ground-pounding would have to be complete before the sun became oppressive.

Sporting Creek, in all her Glory

I had premonitions of success as I drove past the perfumed ziggurat of decaying garbage. My directions had omitted landmark detail, but a ponderous mound of earth, electrified fence, and airborne garbage bags marked the resting place of Solano county’s unwanted leftovers.

I was getting my hopes up thinking I’d be fishing something other than little insects, as a refuse pit offers so much more variety than traditional stream fare. I’m thinking partially digested Filet O’ Fish imitation, complete with golden deer hair “bun” and big treble – how the fish would pirouette lazily in appreciation before inhalation.

I squealed to a stop upwind and cross referenced the debris field with my map – but the thin blue line I was after was further east; so it would be regular-nasty and absent taint from buried leftovers.

… which was probably for the better, as most dumps have an onerous fee for parking…

I call it "carbon bridge" It’d be gracious to call it “stained with tannin” but the abundant alfalfa fields, herds of sheep and corn, made it more muck-coffee colored; bigger than I’d anticipated and with a lot of miles available for exploration.

The tell-tale puffs of mud in mid-channel confirmed carp, and “kissing” sounds from the Tules suggested additional quarry, bluegill and possibly some largemouth bass.

I was fast running out of gas, the combined weakness of doing too much physical too soon and increasing temperature. I’d covered a mile of the south bank – getting a feel for changes in depth and bottom structure.

It’s a perfect fishery for a two man team, one to spot fish or mud plumes from the roadbed – and the other to cast using the spotter’s directions. Once down at water level only tailing fish can be seen, and they’re understandably skittish despite their size.

I hooked two large Carp on the march back to the truck, both took the Laughing Damsel I’d tied for lake fishing. The brass bead chain gets the fly to the bottom instantly, and I just rolled it through the mud plume while watching the tip for a hint of movement.

Both fish scrubbed me off in clumps of elodea, and I was thankful as the idea of feverishly chasing after double digit fish on a 45 degree incline was daunting.

I call it “Sporting Creek” due to the amount of soccer balls, footballs, and basketballs at the high water mark. I counted 33 decaying balls in the first mile of bank, there’s some hidden story yet to be revealed.

Can you spare some Kleenex, Bro?

Unfortunately the prognosis is full recovery. Brain function is currently limited to the non-artistic centers of the right lobe, while the playful and color conscious left hemisphere is still plugged with unmentionables.

Red Eyed Nose Blow

The desire to torment readers has resurfaced – which is a good sign, but I’m still leaving the bulk of my skills in discarded Kleenex.

The rest I’m husbanding for some new local waters which I’m determined to visit this weekend – where I can throw the above self portrait without censure…

Fish Can’t Read – but I’m not so sure

You just think they can't Fish Can’t Read is the latest in a burgeoning trend of online fly fishing magazines promising to be less trite than traditional angling fare.

No expense was spared in sweeping together an eclectic mix of caustic, opinionated burnouts – fresh-faced youth, all buttressed by vast expanses of partially clad salmonids; swathed in the warm colors of mountainous sunsets, the rich sepia of near dark, and clouds of bloodsucking insects.

It’s well documented that big fish can read, albeit lacking full command of the language, they’ve assembled a rudimentary understanding of local signage – allowing them to exploit “No Trespassing” and “No Fishing” with great impunity.

Brought to you by the lads from Dry Fly Media, first issue to debut August/September 2009.

Got content? Submissions are encouraged – part of the agility that is the online canvas…

Cartography be damned

Should make some feel less conspicuous, although ordering one in a logger bar – you hope your voice doesn’t break mid sentence…

 The Blueliner brew

Its got a rarified pedigree, being made from glacier ice that crumbles off the continental shelf due to climate change, which makes the bottle bobbing in your wake testament to your domination of the watershed – scourge of the pristine…

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Can’t say as I didn’t earn it

Just lucky I guess The real piece of good fortune was coming down with the flu on the eve of the angling departure, rather than during – as none of my pals would have noticed anything amiss.

Maybe they’d scratch their chin when I failed to acknowledge dinner, or didn’t protest when they divided up my dry flies among themselves. If there were any signs of life from my flaccid and feverish bedroll – they’d say, “he smelled bad before the trip, Ma’am -how was we to know he wasn’t simply funning us?”

The Bad News is I lived up to my promise, spending the last four days in a cataclysmic meltdown that has me in the same clothing, absent cigars, and strong coffee – and facing early demise as She (formerly banished as it was a guy only fishing trip) is racing to my door to put an end to my sufferings…

… with a large can of Woop-ass.

There will be no Angels of Mercy daubing my feverish cheeks on the morrow, no fluffing of too-soft pillows, no replenishing of the Sacred Baked Goods, there will only be those gals already angry – and those  speechless in fury at the state of Her house.

I’ll be Jimmy Stewart in Hitchcock’s Rear Window – helpless and struggling from my wheelchair – as (Ms.) Raymond Burr attempts to unscrew my head like a champagne cork before setting the garden hose on whatever stayed attached.

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