The fishing don’t last but cooking do

Singlebarbed Santa I’m mortal, guilt got the better of me and I spent the better part of the weekend baking for neighbors and well wishers. Certain occasions require even the staunchest fisherman to succumb, I figured additional “brownie points” could be banked for later.

For the 60% of you that have to travel in the next couple of days, leave early and keep a weather eye peeled for the meathead that’s celebrating in earnest.

We’ll be on the road ourselves, fueled by a lethal combination of strong coffee, Ma’s cooking, and See’s candy. Here’s hoping Santa brings you a quiet moment with your family.

Technorati Tags: , ,

No thanks, I’ll have dinner after I come back from fission

One in every garage I always had a fantasy about a log cabin with a pristine trout stream chaser, I modified that only slightly in the last decade, adding massive Internet pipe to the mix.

Outside of the money part – which still eludes me, the technology will be available next year. Toshiba will be marketing the “mini nuclear reactor” – a full 200 kilowatt reactor measuring a miserly 20′ x 6′ – small enough to put in the garage.

I figure I can get a package deal of the reactor and a big screen TV. Rustic cabin nestled in the pines, lights ablaze and TV loud enough to listen to the game while fishing. Fully self contained with no messy control rods to change or temperatures to monitor, capable of generating 40 years of power for peanuts. Comes with instructions – in English and Arabic.

The Alaskan wilderness will be tamed overnight.

Technorati Tags: , , ,

Mancave adornment, it if doesn’t warm enough, burn your rod

bamboo_light I lack the refinement to get sentimental over rod materials, mostly because I went from a steel Ace Hardware rod, straight to Fiberglas. Gentlemen of leisure owned bamboo, but only the Ladies lived in my neighborhood. If you’ve gambled away the ancestral castle and suffer further indignity by being banished to the garage, we may have the decor you’re seeking.

Perhaps you earned the “ManCave” banishment by emptying the entire box of mothballs in your tying stash, we warned you. Now you sit shivering, scratching tentatively at the door hoping they’ll let you back inside where it’s warm?

No chance. Wrap yourself in a car blanket and gaze in fondness at your bamboo light fixtures.

Dare to be different, Singlebarbed rings in the holidays with the bait card

Season's Greetings from Singlebarbed It’s been suggested that being on our gift list is a bad thing. We needed to go stealthy with this year’s yuletide offerings as pals killed the lights when we knocked on the door.

They weren’t expecting us to go “green” with our Christmas cards. Seems that environmental is mainstream now, but we needed to add that unique Singlebarbed touch, green is better if it’s the “involuntary gag” kind.

If you haven’t received a card yet, that means we like you, the rest of the crowd got the odiferous Christmas Squid card, with real squid filling. We added the audio greeting, “Dude, Owned!” to convey that special holiday spirit.

No,I haven’t seen Grandma, I thought she was with you

Be the first on your block If a shower curtain assembly was bolted to the roof rack, I think we’d be done. Until then you’ll have to settle for the “exhibitionist” model. Pry them reluctant big city types out of their metropolis with the Bumper Dumper. “Roughing it” appeals to such a small fraction of the population, it’s time we introduce the essential amenities.

A smart fellow would do a head count before getting back on the freeway…

Technorati Tags: ,

Most of that 42 Billion was snagged on tree branches

Money spent by the sporting crowd The final 2006 Federal fishing and hunting statistics have been released refining preliminary numbers posted earlier this year.

The most popular fish species among the 25.0 million anglers who fished freshwater other than the Great Lakes was black bass. Ten million spent 161 million days fishing for black bass. Following black bass in popularity were several species with a similar number of anglers and days of fishing. Panfish were pursued by 7.5 million anglers on 102 million days. Catfish and bullheads drew 7.0 million anglers on 98 million days. About 6.8 million anglers fished for trout on 76 million days. Crappie fishing attracted 6.2 million anglers on 91 million days.

That makes trout a distant fourth, with Brownliner fish scoring the top three spots. Most of my trips this year have been “crappy,” it’s nice to know I’m squarely in the mainstream, as it takes the fifth spot.

The sobering element is that fishing still is 75% men, 25% women, and each year of college reduces your chances of being a fisherman. I’m guessing they meant, “each year of college completed” – they don’t count agricultural studies in Hops, Barley, or Hemp.

Technorati Tags: ,

Like you, I’m into quick hitters this week

The Fishing Jones blog had a much better treatment of the whole PETA issue with his comical Penn & Teller YouTube find. It’s worthy of a look-see, as Penn makes mighty short work of the lunatic fringe, including some factoids that most of us only hoped were true..

I’ll make my apologies for the sporadic posting this week, like you I have to put the finishing touches on the holidays. As the “cook” that means the “spirit” part of the holidays are under my purview, I can’t just rely on liquor to get everyone in the mood.

As we’re talking Xmas, I stumbled on one of those oddball stories that’ll make you thankful you’re not the target. In-laws that exchange the same pair of pants for 25 years, escalation is a bad thing.

Technorati Tags: , ,

We’re doing our part, even if "we" is smaller

1 Billion on Bait Sure our numbers are dwindling, but us fellows that are left are doing our part for the economy. While we don’t spend much on sweaters knotted daintily around our neck or “tennis” bracelets, we spend a helluva lot of money where it counts..

If you take the entire Skiing industry, with the pricey equipment, exotic travel, and broken limbs – you get 661 million dollars. We spend 1.1 BILLION on just bait.

I would define that as “Spankage,” pure and simple.

If you want to include ice to keep the bait fresh, that’s another $378 million. None of that ice ever touches bait, we know that but they don’t – and no statistics are available for carbonated beverages, but it’s safe to assume none of us have liver tissue left.

From the “Bite me, PETA” department comes this little morsel:

Hunters and anglers have historically been — and continue to be — the largest contributors to government wildlife conservation programs. Through excise taxes and license revenues, they have contributed more than $10 billion dollars to conservation, and annually provide more than 80% of the funding for most state fish and wildlife agencies.

But before you get all complacent on me, know this disturbing tidbit;

It is estimated that there are 40 million sportsmen of voting age in the United States – nearly a third of the entire vote. Nearly 8 in 10 hunters always vote in presidential elections, while 6 in 10 always vote in non-presidential elections.

While you appear to be the salvation, you’re also the cause of the mess we’re in, as you pick them dimwits during the election, then fight them tooth and nail when they start drilling arctic wilderness.

Less “ice” before you vote next time. Meathead.

"It’s the line of death Infidel, beyond which your backcast will not cross.."

Overreacting a little bit It’s the tertiary phase of plundering a communal resource, tensions around the globe are escalating mightily around fishing and fishermen.

North and South Korea got into a shoving match at Panmunjom, the Russians have just confiscated Japanese trawlers, and even Croatia is about to lay claim to parts of the Adriatic. Little wonder that boorish angling behavior is on the rise domestically.

We’ve all been victimized, and we’ve read tales of uncaring oafs disturbing someone’s in-stream reverie in most of the major periodicals. Perhaps it’s not as personal as once thought – maybe it’s a growing trend.

Competition for fishing resources is on the increase, even though anglers are on the decline.  “Quality” fishing is available in an ever shrinking area, and despite fewer anglers, fresh and saltwater fisheries are losing ground. Similar issues beset commercial fishermen, with the developing countries protesting their fishing grounds are being ravaged by the fleets from developed countries.

Fishing etiquette assumes neither fellow is starving, while that isn’t likely anytime soon, you may want to pause before ripping an interloper a new one. It’s probable that as the pristine areas shrink, we’ll be forced into ever closer contact.

I’m not saying I like it, I’d rather not go down in history as “..the guy that yelled at Jesus..”

Technorati Tags: , ,

"Old Nondescript" has a weakness that begs exploitation

Even the fish were huddled for warmth I’ve never caught a fish enough times to name it, I always thought the practice was proof the angler needed to fish somewhere’s else. Old angling cartoons first acquainted me with the practice, usually with some big city swell telling some kid to put the big SOB back before “Old TackleBuster” expired.

If I was the kid, I would’ve kicked Mr. Aberchrombie and Fitch in the nuts, then taken off running, but I always was an insensitive little brute..

I was supposed to go Christmas shopping and when no one was looking snuck the rod in the back of the truck instead – figuring two hours of fishing and an hour of shopping technically qualifies. If you are lucky enough to have water nearby, Christmas is the perfect subterfuge – you scuff  the ground with your toe and claim it’s her present you’re shopping for – otherwise you’d be thrilled at spending the afternoon shopping for Aunt WhatsHerName and her idjit children.

That’s not insensitive, that’s practical.

It’s getting cold in the morning, and even the fish were huddled for warmth. I hit two or three spots and had little success – figuring the bite may pick up with additional sun on the water.

It's finally finished, likely under budget as well The beaver had completed the dam on the “Hatchery” stretch, raising the water level by two feet. Industrious fellow, I would love to see a time lapse photography of how he managed to get all that brush and timber into the creek. It’s a two phase build method, they plunk all the branches into the water then go upstream and uproot as much weed as they can, the branches catch it all and make a perfect watertight wall.

I had tested Curly’s Nondescript nymphs here last week, and remembering that big smallmouth that cracked me off, I had another six Nondescript Blacks to tempt him. I didn’t figure he would be fool enough to eat another one, I was hoping some of his relatives might.

The fourth cast into the brush pile was perfect, the fly was in the branches above his hiding spot and I let the current pull it off and drop it in his living room. I gave it one tug and then all hell broke loose, water flying, fish airborne, and me standing there with an unlit cigar and a foolish grin.

I got as far as “Son of a…” before the line went slack. “Old Nondescript” had busted me off a second time, and now he had two flies in his face. I can only hope they’re at opposite ends of his jaw so he still swims straight…

Nice fish, and with the extra two foot of water depth he’s likely to get a lot bigger. Addiction to Nondescript nymphs should prove his undoing, as I’m the only “dealer” in the area, I’ll be sure to make him pose.

Technorati Tags: , ,