It was only a matter of time before the neighborhood went to hell, but I ain’t so sure it isn’t for the better. The timely addition of the Fly Fish Chick to the Fly Fishing Underground’s Writers Network, implies there’s an awful lot of middle age gut being sucked in, and even more chest being puffed out…

It’s been that way since middle school and we recognize you can’t help it.

It’s a good thing, now Tom Chandler has to write for a living again – instead of relying on soft porn “strumpet” posts, while me and Daytripper giggle and admire the body count. Those of you unprepared for that much vinegar, remember that Texican’s revere their womenfolk, especially those that can BBQ…

Make nice and visit.

Technorati Tags: fly fish chick, Fly Fishing Underground Writer’s Network

I’m noticing a pattern here, it’s disturbing, but it cannot be ignored…

An angling blog author posts a “I’m going fishing and you’re not” post, followed by a string of posts detailing hardship, suffering, and despair, all unrelated to fishing.

Witness TC and the “Taunt’s you from the road” article – followed closely by a scholarly paper on fiberglass rods, and two posts on Satan’s Snow blower.

Fishless on my home water, I mention a brief trip to the American River for steelhead, and am rewarded with a two month ban on Steelhead fishing. The “snagger” reference wasn’t me, I was the fellow throwing the lit sticks of dynamite – even angered I prefer dry flies…

You’d think we would learn from past history, you don’t mention your fly is in peril without inviting all the folks reading on their lunch break.

You’re all invited, now focus and get the torrential downpour to stop.

…

That didn’t work too well, as the river gauge on the Little Stinking has just redlined…

01/22/2008  93 CFS
01/23/2008  110 CFS
01/24/2008  181 CFS
01/25/2008  5046 CFS

Now you’re being vindictive…

Technorati Tags: angling, profuse apology, fish karma

It’s been suggested that being on our gift list is a bad thing. We needed to go stealthy with this year’s yuletide offerings as pals killed the lights when we knocked on the door.

They weren’t expecting us to go “green” with our Christmas cards. Seems that environmental is mainstream now, but we needed to add that unique Singlebarbed touch, green is better if it’s the “involuntary gag” kind.

If you haven’t received a card yet, that means we like you, the rest of the crowd got the odiferous Christmas Squid card, with real squid filling. We added the audio greeting, “Dude, Owned!” to convey that special holiday spirit.

If a shower curtain assembly was bolted to the roof rack, I think we’d be done. Until then you’ll have to settle for the “exhibitionist” model. Pry them reluctant big city types out of their metropolis with the Bumper Dumper. “Roughing it” appeals to such a small fraction of the population, it’s time we introduce the essential amenities.

A smart fellow would do a head count before getting back on the freeway…

Like all middle-aged couch potatoes I yearn for lost youth and admire those that seek to regain it – from a safe distance of course…

I don’t swerve towards an old guy jogging on the side of the road, don’t belittle some poor housewife trudging smartly through the neighborhood intent on weight loss, if it feels good to them I’m all for it.

Late last year, Albert Argibay, a Wappinger Falls, N.Y., bodybuilder and state correction officer, was escorted by police out of the Planet Fitness gym he was a member of, after another member complained to management of his loud grunting during weightlifting.

I’m reading the above and it occurs to me I’ve committed numerous audio faux pas while fishing.

Fishing is an individualist sport – we got some initial pointers when we started and developed unique mannerisms after years of trial and error. Me? I’m a “curse-mutterer”, I’ll alternately ridicule my remaining physical skills, and comment on the dubious lineage of my quarry. Neither is complementary, but as my tone is low, only the guy across the crick has the opportunity for offense.

Poor knots or errant casts may increase the muttering to a high pitched whine, it never occurred to me that anyone was keeping score, other than the fish:

Oh My God, check out Fatty, yes..he’s tieing on a #8 San Juan Worm…yea, I’m gonna eat that, bring it…bring that WeakSauce..

I figured they were giggling at me, now I know they are trying to get my membership revoked.

Planet Fitness, a national chain, has a solid “no-grunting” policy in place and Argibay’s noisemaking — along with a resulting verbal tussle with management — cost him his membership.

OK, so my New Year’s resolution will be to chomp harder on the greasy cigar butt rather than mumble incoherently, but all my nymphs will be on treble hooks dipped in Garlic.

“..there’s them as talks about it, and there’s them as does it.”

     Singlebarbed has GONE FISHING, back next week.