Category Archives: Fisheries Science

Is angling cruel, are the fish in pain, does it really matter?

Do fish Feel Pain? I know where they’re trying to push us, and while I have my share of suppositions I still don’t know who they are …

The reviewers who offered their opinions about the scientific merit of our application, however, stressed that it would be more interesting to find out if a sharp object passing through the mouth of a fish would be painful. Clearly recreational fishing was what these scientists wanted to know about, not fish farming.”

Professor Victoria Braithwaite has penned a book entitled, “do fish feel pain?” – describing the experiments and logic that went into her research on trout sensory receptors.

As mentioned in prior posts that skirted this subject, the scientific community hotly debates whether lower life forms have the ability to suffer – as suffering requires a form of consciousness, and areas of the brain, gray matter among others, that many lower organisms lack.

Whether sentience and consciousness are processes that occur in non-human animals is something that has occupied philosophers and psychologists for decades, and they have yet to agree on an answer.”

… and despite your experiences to the contrary, a trout’s brain is about the size of a pea, a trait shared with both houses of Congress.

This is not a fishing book, nor is it written for the angling community. I’d describe it as science that never had the opportunity to explain itself fully, given the sudden sensationalism fostered by the press and their misuse of the scientific soundbyte. The author notes she was completely unprepared for the attention paid her when the research was released in 2009, and it appears the book was written to moderate some of that media-furor with scientific groundwork.

Ms. Braithwaite describes in detail the step by step methodology and experimentation that brought her team to their conclusion; that fish do feel pain and have the capability to suffer as we humans.

She outlines the constructs that serve as the piscatorial counterparts to human nerves, pathways to the brain, and grey matter, in a lucid and patient manner that allows us non-scientists to follow without feeling the need for definition or additional explanation.

Using mild solutions of vinegar and bee venom, her team injected trace amounts in the lips of fish and showed how trout behave differently than control groups of saline injected fish, and fish that were merely handled and not injected at all. In all this science there are many tidbits for fishermen, as her description of fish handling and how it can alter trout behavior.

“But the trout that had been given bee venom or vinegar continued to show no interest in the food and their gill beat rate stayed above 70 beats a minute even after the second hour passed. Eventually their breathing rate did begin to decline but it didn’t return to the resting level about 50 beats a minute until almost three and a half hours after they had been initially exposed to bee venom or vinegar. And around that time the fish’s motivation to feed began to return.”

To her credit, Professor Braithwaite stays clear of the philosophical implications of her research, but does pose the obvious question numerous times; is this enough to require us to afford fish similar protections enjoyed by chicken, pigs, and cattle, and should industrial harvest methodology be changed to reflect this newfound consciousness?

While most farm animals are slaughtered in great numbers for our collective table, lower forms of life like fish can be harvested without the luxury of a speedy kill, many gasp out their last minutes while sliding across a trawler deck or flash frozen while still gasping …

I enjoyed the read (it’s a short tome, 184 pgs.) and followed the description of science closely. I’m sympathetic to the theory, so little convincing was required. Mother Nature has always been a miracle of efficiency, and it makes sense that whatever flesh and senses prevent me from touching an open flame, would be present in most of her creatures.

Anglers have the smaller issues to wrestle with once we’re shown as insensitive bullies. While the larger picture doesn’t change, will any legislation stemming from the environmental lobby trickle down into our cold little creek?

I’m unmoved by the larger issue, that of fish as sentient entities. I’ve always had great respect for my quarry, and even when fishing for trash fish have never indulged in throwing them onto the bank as a penalty for eating – and always ate what I killed.

The idea that fish fear me is appropriate, as I mean them harm. A sore lip for three or four days, and I’ll trade wisdom for the experience.  It’s part of my birthright as a member of the highest order of the food chain, and while I recognize it as a fortunate happenstance – will spend no time bemoaning the unfairness of it all. My appetites are well documented and unchanged and were there 50 fish within casting distance I would want to catch all of them many times.

I don’t seek parity, nor do I believe equilibrium and complete fairness is even desirable. I swim upstream against the current while the shadows of predators darken my path. The unscrupulous hedge fund manager bent on churning my 401K, the crack head that covets my stereo,  and the drunken driver oblivious to lane or direction.

I’d simple say, “No. Food doesn’t have rights, and if I can’t explain to a grieving mother why her son died to an Afghan sniper, I’m not obligated to consider the feelings of a rutabaga when I wrestle it from the ground.”

It’ll get it’s turn when radiation and evolution makes it the top of the food chain.

… and If I make it to infirmity I’ll be a wise and fat fish – with a deep and impenetrable lie that confounds predators and their attempts to lay hands on my fair frame.

That’s Darwinism, the poster child of fairness.

Full Disclosure: The book was provided to me free by way of the Oxford Press, via Eccles of Turning over Small Stones.

Tags: Victoria Braithwaite, fish feel pain, bee venom, lower life forms, trout testing, fly fishing,

A Entirely Synthetic Fish, a book by Anders Halvorsen

An entirely synthetic fish The true game-fish, of which the trout and salmon are frequently the types, inhabit the fairest regions of nature’s beautiful domain. They drink only from the purest fountains, and subsist upon the choicest food their pellucid streams supply … [It] is self-evident that no fish which inhabit foul or sluggish waters can be ‘game-fish’.’ It is impossible from the very circumstances of their surroundings and associations. They may flash with tinsel and tawdry attire; they may strike with the brute force of a blacksmith, or exhibit the dexterity of a prize fighter, but their low breeding and vulgar manner of eating, betray their grossness.”

“An Entirely Synthetic Fish” is not a fishing book, rather it’s the chronology of the foibles, accidents, egos, and planned strategies that resulted in the Rainbow being the trout of choice for the Americas. It’s a surprisingly good yarn written deftly by Anders Halvorsen, (Yale, Ph.D Ecology), who has gathered together the milestones, personalities, and the ramifications of wadding an increasingly foreign species into every body of water conceivable.

One simple question sealed the fate of trout fishing the world over…

An eastern fellow steps off the stage in San Francisco, straightens his bowler and says, “where’s the salmon at?” – and via the miracle of a desolate stretch of the McCloud and assisted by the transcontinental railroad, the McCloud River Rainbow became the savior of the east coast and the known world.

… at the expense of everything that was living there already.

It was nip and tuck which would inherit, fish cultivation was in its infancy, with most of the eastern fish hatcheries owned by hobbyists or were for-profit, merely raising the Eastern Brook Trout for later sale at market.

The Good Old Days weren’t … and the East Coast was faced with increased pollution as a result of a burgeoning population. Many of the eastern watersheds died horribly, with the Atlantic Salmon the first to go. In an effort to restore their numbers an embassy was sent to the west coast to bring salmon back to raise and release in eastern rivers.

The McCloud river obliged them and the hatchery created there sent Pacific Salmon eggs packed in moss, whose fry were dutifully released – never to be heard from again. The salmon transplant may have been an abject failure, but the feisty nature of the McCloud River Rainbow was duly noticed.

The author warns us about our continued reliance on the planting of a single species, and how desirable characteristics of the Rainbow, its ability to thrive in warmer water, and willingness to eat artificials, set the stage for massive fisheries collapse when they’re exposed to an invasive or even domestic pest.

Like Whirling Disease – which the Eastern Brook and Brown trout can survive – but decimates the Rainbow trout as it’s especially vulnerable. The narrative of how Colorado infected 13 of its 15 watersheds by accidentally, then intentionally, planting Whirling Disease infected Rainbow trout being moot evidence.

“It was not until 2003, in the face of overwhelming evidence, and after spending well over $10 million to decontaminate only some of its facilities, that Colorado finally stopped stocking fish from hatcheries infected by the M. cerebalis parasite. By that time, though, it was too late. The disease had established itself in the wild, and the department’s policy of stocking diseased fish , Nehring later declared, was the primary cause.”

Whirling disease has been a hot topic of late, troublesome because of the thirty year lifespan of spores in stream sediment, and one of the Big Three invasives that conservation organizations have blamed on us anglers.

Trout planting and quality watershed are synonymous in hatchery circles, and the introduction of invasives as well as hatchery trout have had a profound effect in many states, not just Montana and Colorado. The story of hatchery induced plague is one of many ignored by the conservation literature, as was Colorado’s solution; adopting the “Hofer” strain Rainbow for production, a rainbow trout developed in Germany that is entirely proof against Whirling Disease.

In contrast, Montana fisheries were handled differently. The introduction of rainbows destroyed the indigenous populations of trout, and when Whirling disease followed on the Madison they ceased trout plants entirely, allowing the Brown trout to encroach on the much reduced and ailing population of rainbows, and waiting out the collapse with an eye towards Mother Nature. Which obliged them with a whirling disease resistant strain of Madison River rainbow trout that developed on its own.

… as it had in other states, and with as much mystery.

“But when I asked Vincent what Montana planned to do about the disease and specifically whether there were any plans to introduce resistant fish, as Colorado had done, he demurred. ‘I’m a little reluctant to just start whaling around out there, personally,’ he admitted. “’I’m somewhat leery  that it may backfire on us.’ “

It’s as much a tale of the men behind the fish as it is of the fish itself, which allows the book to be part narrative, part science, part history, and an engaging and fun read, especially the sections on WWII bomber pilots and the first attempts at aerial stocking.

But I’ll leave all the really tasty tidbits for you to learn, like how the Rainbow trout is intertwined with the Charge of the Light Brigade and how it was the popular choice to restore America’s flagging manhood.

“Put and Take” still weighs heavy in the mind of Fish and Game officials and most states manage their fisheries to suit the need of the casual angler:

“Take, for example , a sunny Sunday morning in May. Mr. Los Angeles looks out of his window and for no good reason at all discovers that there has been a cloudburst  on the desert the night before and there is water in the Los Angeles River. By 9:30 o’clock, 20,000 telephone calls have come to the Fish and Game Commission to come out and plant some fish because there is water in the Los Angeles River. Since we have one of the most efficient departments in the country, by 10 o’clock a truckload has started out. We carry a siren on the trucks, by which , at the end of planting, we let everybody know that the planting has been accomplished. By 11 o’clock the fish are caught out of the stream, and at noon the river has dried up again!”

It marks the current state of fisheries management whose early beginnings were about establishing viable colonies of fish, and have degenerated to emphasize “catchables.”

… and we love ‘em, or so the government thinks.

Every dollar spent growing and stocking Rainbow trout resulted in thirty-two dollars of economic activity through everything from worm sales to airplane fees.”

Success and failure in fisheries management is tied to many of the unique tenets we’ve always associated with fly fishing. While eager to claim our efforts as a causal agent, many of the unique regulations stem from failures in management, and how we capitalized on some inadvertent or timely trauma. A watershed whose fish collapse due to disease makes a reduced bag limit feasible, and sick fish are undesirable as table fare, and can be caught and released without the drama of declaring a river so by regulation.

I found the book alternately encouraging and fraught with despair. It’s plain we’ve learned nothing in a couple hundred years regarding tinkering with native species and the “put and take” notion of modern fisheries management – but it’s also encouraging that we’ve faced these same problems many times – and despite the state of our modern fisheries and their continued decline, a body of work remains that may assist us in pulling some back from the brink.

Full Disclosure: I purchased this book from Amazon.com for its suggested retail price ($17.16)

Tags: An Entirely Synthetic Fish, rainbow trout, McCloud river rainbow, whirling disease, brown trout, hofer rainbow, Atlantic salmon, McCloud river, pacific salmon, Anders Halvorsen

North, East, and South, but the West side is dead

NOAA crest Just finished a deep scan of the 293 page California Draft Recovery Plan for Chinook salmon and Central Valley steelhead (9MB’s PDF), and I’ll admit to being a bit disappointed. Not so much the scope and cost as their reliance on dam modifications for the existing pristine – versus recovery of any ancestral haunts.

The Central Valley ends at Thomes Creek (near Anderson, CA) and doesn’t start until Sacramento and the American River – with everything on the west side written off as dead water.

It would have been great to see some of the local watersheds reborn. There’s still a salmon run in Putah Creek during wet years, and if they can survive it suggests that a steelhead or two may wander upriver as well.

In summary, it appears easier to build a peripheral canal and appeal to the benevolence of the Feds than it is to strike a balance with agribusiness and attempt consensus on the reallocation sacred cow.

Disappointment stems from the cost, 10 Billion – which will prove woefully inadequate in light of the required time, nearly 50 years. While recent economic upheaval has broached the trillion word and takes the fear out of mere billions, none of us will be around to enjoy any resurgence in gamefish or will be able to wade after the sparkling horde that may result.

Tags: California Draft Recovery Plan for Salmon, Thomes Creek, Putah Creek, California steelhead, peripheral canal, water reallocation

The dawn of the Boutique fish

With all the genes being sprayed at the tasty fish we should’ve known eventually we might get something other than a soft docile lump, content with pellet feed and milling aimlessly within its concrete lined habitat.

All the gnashing of teeth and mention of asterisks will be done away with … and by them that protested the most. Mother Nature’s version of the Brown, Rainbow, or Brookie won’t be able to compete – and we’ll be writing congressmen insisting our stream should be the next stocked.

Ten years of research has conceived the genetically super strain of Rainbow Trout, complete with six pack abdominals, broad shoulders, and  capable of peeling 400 yards of backing in a single run, adores mayflies, and can chew through dams and fallen logs.

According to Bradley, the number of muscle fibers in mammals is limited after birth, but in fish, muscle fiber numbers increase throughout their lifespan. Since inhibition of myostatin increases the numbers of muscle fibers, it had been a mystery as to whether inhibiting myostatin would cause an increase in muscle growth in fish.

-via University of Rhode Island

The problem is us. Once ova are commercially available and the barest of research is complete, some land owner will insist on adding “Bonehead Rainbow” to the upper reaches of his property – or some big city charismatic with visions of dollar signs will lease some drainage ditch and start selling memberships.

What fisherman could resist? Plentiful and enormous, able to leap tall buildings with a single bound, and a known weakness for Peacock herl.

Twice the musculature as the normal fish and a viable breeding population that’ll shoulder the hatchery fish aside while racing up the Mississippi to eat all them scaredy-cat Asian Carp, then clean the beaches of small children, wino’s, and miniature poodles …

… while we clap and shout encouragement.

It’s in our nature. We’re practitioners of a classic blood sport, callous to pain and disfigurement, willing to complain loudly when something tastes bad or smells poorly, but in this we cannot be trusted.

Didymo looks like Goat puke, but if we could smoke it – or it had some form of innate beauty, I doubt we’d wrinkle a brow over its invasive qualities. Big muscular salmonids are what we’ve dreamed about for the last couple hundred years – and we’ll be complaining with great fervor should someone take exception to their spread.

License sales will soar, tackle will be obsolesced overnight, vendors will be ecstatic, and the rarified experiences of the pricey remote lodges will be available to the newly frugal.

Trophy lakes with named fish will lead the way, IGFA officials will be in a tizzy – and the former purists will find themselves alone with a dusty rack of salmon eggs, while the rest of us troll T-bones and wonder which of our neighbors is worthy of a ripped, muscle-bound fish whose delicate flavor is reminiscent of Tang mixed with stale bread.

Having posted on this subject two years ago, the only surprise is they’re here already.

Tags: genetically superior trout, superstrain, IGFA, Peacock herl, Bonehead Rainbow, Donny Beaver, goat puke, salmonids, genetic engineering, rainbow trout

The Trout of the future will prefer imitations to natural insects

I know I shouldn’t look, but I did.

Trout_Chow There are thousands of highly trained scientists examining the diet and feeding habits of both salmon and trout. The Bad News is they’re doing so to determine whether they can be raised on Plutonium pellets, concrete, animal waste, or anything else we don’t want…

An admirable task that – but only once through the digestive tract shouldn’t be enough to diffuse weapons-grade anything.

As an interested bystander, browsing the findings of countless dietary studies on Salmonids, a couple of interesting points become clear immediately.

As the fish will be harvested at a given weight – rather than grown to full maturity, long term affects to the “crop” will be ignored.

Soybean meal has been has been used to partially replace fish meal in the diets of several fish but it is known to cause enteritis in Atlantic salmon, Salmo salar

Nice to know that in addition to being spray painted with orange dye , your fillet had the runs …

Don’t despair. There’s enough fly fishing scientists working clandestinely to improve all the trout fishing of the future. It’s the Perfect Crime, with the aquaculture industry an unwitting accomplice in building the first trout that likes artificial flies better than natural insects…

Woot. Got your attention now, did I?

The results from this study show that feather meal, poultry by-product meal, blood meal and meat and bone meal have good potential for use in rainbow trout diets at high levels of incorporation.

Fed feathers from infancy. No more pellets (which are hard to tie and float so poorly), instead our graceful trout of the future will have deeply rooted unnatural cravings for chicken feathers – and since aquaculturists are such tight wads, the secret color should be white.

I’m tying 2/0 White Millers by the bushel.

Tags: Feather Meal, blood meal, chicken feathers, farmed trout, Plutonium, pen raised, salmon, soy-induced enteritis, artificial flies, fly fishing humor

Smallmouth Bass DNA could be the savior of Angling

Charles Atlas Science has upset matchmaking theory and suggested the perfect mate for a fisherman is a female Smallmouth Bass.

Sexual selection theory asserts that a female should choose to mate with a male that offers a benefit to her or her offspring. If the benefit is genetic, females should be drawn to indicators that a male might pass good genes to offspring. But in species where males help care for babies, a female might also look for a mate that has the good health and energy to be a good parent.

While human females scorn the pear-shaped lump snoring on the couch,  as they’re unwilling to recognize the value of potential energy – preferring to dissipate our reserves in a single kinetic orgy of lawn mowing, trash removal, and assorted fix-it tasks. The female Smallmouth adores energy storage and is now thought to select mates based on her perception of potential storage, sometimes ignoring the largest male specimens (something human females are unable to do) in favor of lazy, good-for-nothing lay-about males…

Female smallmouth choose a male to mate with, lay eggs in his nest, and then swim away leaving the male to care for the eggs for up to one month. During that time, the fathers don’t forage for food, so they need to depend on stored energy reserves to patrol the nest. Those that run out of stored energy abandon their nests, leaving the eggs to be eaten by predators.

It would make sense then that a female should look for clues that her mate has lots of stored energy.

Big pear shaped angler snoring on the riverbank could be the Smallmouth equivalent of Clint Eastwood and Brad Pitt.

… and while we love fishing for Bass over their spawning beds, it could be a couple weeks earlier we would’ve had better success with their women…

Something to ponder, especially if that gene can be introduced into human DNA – in which case us fishermen are guaranteed an undisturbed nap after that horribly strenuous day of fishing …

Tags: Smallmouth Bass, potential energy, lazy fishermen, lawn mowing, DNA, Clint Eastwood, Brad Pitt

They don’t reproduce as well because of the time spent in front of the mirror

Moderne Bass The US Geological Survey released a study this week suggesting bass are especially prone to gender-bending and are doing so with great gusto.

… makes me wonder whether the professional BASS circuit will be stood on its collective ear when metrosexual bass cease feeding on crankbaits as the ensuing chase makes them all sweaty …

In the Mississippi River, near Lake City Minnesota, 73 percent of the smallmouth bass had characteristics of both sexes.

“Gender bending” humans exhibit traits ranging from undetectable to flagrant, and while diet appears largely unaffected – presentation and table manners most certainly are..

Will that mean the days of the vicious slashing take of an aggressive largemouth are over? Replaced with a “window shopping” study of our flies and a possible demure inhalation?

The Southeast, especially the Pee Dee River Basin in North and South Carolina, had the highest rates of feminization. In Bucksport, S.C., 10 of 11 largemouth bass examined were intersex. In parts of the Mississippi River in Minnesota and the Yampa River in Colorado, 70 percent of the smallmouth bass had female signs.

Any fellow witnessing two gals fighting knows that feminization of fish should improve the ensuing tussle. With the predominance of hair-pulling we’ll have to change flies more often, but the increase in ferocity should make that a wash.

While diet may be unaffected, successful imitation may require emphasis on matching the color of the nest, proper accessorizing of flies, and inclusion of trademark labels; Dolce & Gabanna, DKNY, and their ilk.

The rubber-worm manufacturers will have to retool if mauve becomes the new Purple.

Tags:feminization of fish, she-male, estrogen, largemouth bass, gender bending fish, wastewater pollution, fly fishing humor, DKNY,

Nuke them from orbit, Willy-boy!

I’ve always been jealous of the really good social issues, having some neo-Jesus like Bono or Sting whispering in the President’s ear is guaranteed to fast track aid to the starving millions in [insert_name_here].

Us fishermen have endured the conspicuous lack of Tier 1 entertainment talent advancing our issues with heads of state, or immortalizing us in the lyrics of a tune that’ll haunt us from tinny elevator speakers – whose instrumentals follow us down the vegetable aisle.

It’s why we can’t get our agenda past the wooden-faced secretary – and we’re carted out screaming before the network news arrives.

All that’s changed now.

Fresh from saving the entire human race, and specifically saving the planet courtesy of a stymied fish god, we’ve got the porcine William Shatner chatting up prime ministers to save the last six or eight Pacific salmon.

Kirk and Salmon 

Eat your heart out hunters, all you can muster is Ted Nugent

Mr. Shatner has petitioned the Canadian government to remove all the salmon farms that native fish must pass in their return to fresh water, otherwise he’ll ignore the Prime Directive and lay a three second phaser burst on Calgary, or possibly most of Quebec …

Tags: William Shatner, Captain James T. Kirk, Canadian salmon farms, pacific salmon, celebrity influence, fishing celebrities, tier one pandering, wild salmon, phasers, Bono, Sting, vegetable aisle, elevator music

Trout: stabbed and smacked by insensitive brutes, whose life they save later?

You spend most of your life chasing them and if successful you gleefully thump them into oblivion, unless your girlfriend is looking –  in which case you search vainly for something semi-sanitary to smack them with and failing that you let them go …

Pinup material … and year’s later you’re sitting on the side of the bed wearing an antiseptic paper gown – both cheeks exposed (and chilling rapidly), modesty hanging on a strained overhand knot. The doctor pages through your chart, making noises that sound like you screwed up, and turns to you suggesting, “you’ve less than six months to live unless your medical insurer covers the Trout Cure…”

Who’s blushing now?

Three decades of aquatic study convinced Bailey, 68, that trout are cheaper to raise and care for than rodents, and have inherently lower cancer rates, which lessens the margin for error in studies, Bailey said.

Initially I thought about joining PETA so I could have hordes of screaming protesters behind me as I shouldered past the thin blue line of campus security, enroute to “liberating” the brood stock.  Once Trout Unlimited or CalTrout gets wind of this “egregious abuse of science” – we’d don Orvis Balaclava’s and hoist aquariums full of lumpy fish into darkened pickups.

Figure that most of these carcinogen riddled noble animals would be toed into the brush if caught, but one out of six would have mind boggling genetics and obscene tumors to make it nearly 14″ and weighing 78 pounds or more …

… why mess with Triploids when Old Lumpy would give his all for one last taste of a Light Cahill?

It certainly solves California’s reluctance to plant foreign Rainbows to interbreed with native fish, what with the life expectancy of a liberated laboratory rainbow measured in a couple weeks …

They spend their short lives in fear and their reward is a horse-sized needle thrust into a delicate area – rendering flesh inedible, and saving countless unappreciative anglers from death.

Mice must have a powerful lobby.

Tags: Trout in cancer research, OSU cancer research, trout tumor, PETA, Orvis Balaclava, fly fishing humor, trout fishing, CalTrout, Trout Unlimited, Light Cahill

Your Tuna Salad resents your liberal use of mayonnaise

Simm's Naval Camo I hadn’t thought about it much until I started catching Smallmouth bass with regularity. Trout and saltwater fish shared a similar resigned expression when handled; dull and lifeless – as if garnished with lemon was better than cavorting with mayflies or seaweed.

Smallmouth were different, they’d fix you with a malevolent gaze, watching every move for a hint of weakness or a defiant attempt at communication. One glance into those red eyes and you knew the message was pain, suffering, and “getting even were you just a wee bit smaller…”

Us fishermen knew all along, but the rest of the population is only now discovering that their Tuna Salad is sentient…

.. and may hold a grudge ..

The public perception of them is that they are pea-brained numbskulls that can’t remember things for more than a few seconds. We’re now finding that they are very capable of learning and remembering, and possess a range of cognitive skills that would surprise many people.”

Unfortunately we’ll have to retool significantly, as social interactions between fish have been both discovered and proven, and a witnessed fear response communicates “predator” to all other fish in visual range.

Now, fish are regarded as steeped in social intelligence, pursuing Machiavellian strategies of manipulation, punishment and reconciliation, exhibiting stable cultural traditions, and co-operating to inspect predators and catch food.”

We’ve endured the vengeful manipulation for centuries, woefully underestimated our foe, assuming our fly was at fault and  not the real truth, that we were being toyed with

Science will forever change the landscape (audio) and the vendor community will be quick to fill the breach; with floating neoprene live wells – allowing us to release fish back at the parking lot, and Ghillie suits to alter our shape and form.

Forget those pastel colors, ditto for form fitting and rakish highlights – we’ll all be wearing battleship camouflage and double helpings of naval gray…

… but is it the Royal Coachman they fear, or the fellow wielding it?