Research at the University of Cincinnati is looking into “green” LED’s, specifically brighter colors enabled by Salmon sperm.

The military is well known for ponderous and pedantic “educational” films, the thought of a school of salmon being lashed into chairs to watch a venereal disease video leaps to mind – but as the US Air Force is funding the research, collection methodology is under a strict “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy. 

Thank God for that.

“The answer was salmon sperm. Why that? Because it’s considered a waste product of the fishing industry, and discarded by the ton.“

While LED’s are the first practical use of this research, the goal appears to be creating a “liquid transistor” that can convert the charged state of the liquid it’s in to electrical signals.

“… Such a device could co-exist in human body environment, for example, which is mostly liquid.”

Our guess is that these can be used to monitor conditions in humans and assist in drug delivery and efficacy. Rather than starve you for 24 hours before something shiny and stainless examines a part that you would rather not share, you may eventually be able to thank a Salmon for sparing you an indignity.

Technorati Tags: salmon DNA, LiquiFET, US Air Force, research

Legendary fish succumbs after being lured from the deep by Girl Scouts chumming with Thin Mints. Battle ensues as construction crew joins fray.

An Oarfish actually, Blogfish broke the story, but I like my version better.

LiveJournal Tags: oarfish, loch ness monster, thin mints

Remember the furor associated with the Trout Underground’s question whether a 43 lb triploid should be considered the new world’s record? That was an easy genealogy question compared to what’s coming.

Today’s Sacramento Bee has an article about the Japanese efforts to increase the Bluefin Tuna, and how they are experimenting on Salmonids to get some insight into a new process using other fish as hosts.

Mature Stem Cells are harvested from trout, injected into the sterile Asian Masu Salmon, which upon maturity give birth to Rainbow Trout (eggs and milt of the trout, not live fish). Confusing? You bet – as they are using a live surrogate host of a different species to yield more trout spawn.

I’ll leave the question of “New World’s Record” alone, but was I you I would start preparing for some really twisted DNA. Is a trout born of salmon a trout? Yep, this technique does not commingle DNA from the host fish to the offspring.

The scientists are using salmonids only as a first step towards increasing tuna stocks, once perfected they will find additional hosts for bluefin egg production.

It leaves an interesting unanswered question; could they possibly mix just a dab of the DNA? How about the 60mph swim speed and the 1400 lb max size genetic sequence … Imagine setting hook on a 12″ trout that melts your pawl and ratchet Hardy reel, oh my…

Technorati Tags: bluefin tuna, stem cell research, Masu salmon, salmonids

The annual report on job prospects for college grads has aired, with Marketing majors the top prospect. This makes perfect sense as spinning the unpalatable into something desirable is on the increase.

Top salary belongs to Chemical Engineers, the high mortality rate warrants it, what with constant AWACS surveillance and the high cost of Banana boats.

Fishing jobs were again omitted, prospects for your average fish bum remain dim. Nice try, but you may want to stick with your current cubicle-based vocation.

A Singlebarbed sampler of top angling openings yields a paltry mix of fishcutters ($8.00/hour), a Business Development Director for a Bass resort, editor for “The Fisherman” magazine, and a Marketing Coordinator willing to promote fishing to trade unions. If your requirements involve fly fishing, then Orvis is hiring computer geek’s.

Proof that the demise of the Adjustable Rate Mortgage has spread to the angling industry, or merely coincidence?

Initial information about the 2006 Sportsmen’s Census are trickling out of the governmental vaults, Some we’ve heard about, some is just  preliminary information – as the final release is scheduled for November 2007.

Hunting – 5% of the US population, aged 16 or older hunted. 12.5 million total, a 4% decline in the last 5 years, in aggregate they spent 3% less money.

Fishing – 13% of the US population aged 16 or older spent an average of 17 days fishing. Anglers declined 12% over the last 5 years – but spent 5% more on tackle, and 7% more on fishing trips. They spent 14% less on clothing and tents, and 12% less on boats.

Wildlife Watching – 31% of the U.S. population 16 years old and older fed, observed, or photographed wildlife in 2006. These wildlife watchers increased in number by 8% from 2001 to 2006. Their expenditures for trips, equipment, and other items increased 2%.

From 2001 to 2006, expenditures for wildlife-watching equipment (binoculars, cameras, etc.) increased by 20% and for wildlife-watching trips by 40%.

We reported earlier on California’s decision to charge a land use fee to bird watchers and kayakers, based on the above statistics we aren’t the only folks monitoring this change in habits.

I have no issue with this practice, but the unanswered question is will I have to pay double? Anglers and hunters both have to observe their prey, so will fishermen have to have a license to look at the trout before they release it?

The Humane Society welcomed the new federal data showing a surging number of bird watchers, wildlife photographers and other wildlife watchers. They increased from 62.8 million in 1996 to 71.1 million in 2006, spending $45 billion on their activities compared to $75 billion spent by hunters and anglers.

You know what’s coming next, bird watchers are only $30 billion behind on the political contribution and lobby effort, so are we going to see some congressional retread insist that he has been a life long lover of the Ruby Throated Warbler?

I can see the turmoil at the presidential debates; “Bob, how can you say that – I saw you shoo them pigeons off your window ledge yesterday, you’re not a bird lover – Christ, you had the Peking Duck for lunch!”

“Senator, you have 1 minute to respond…”

Technorati Tags: fishing statistics, land use fee, 2006 Sportsmen’s Census

For the umpteenth time we get our noses rubbed in how the upper classes get paid to be drunk and crash cars. If you want the services of Paris Hilton and her posse, it will only cost you $200,000 and all the booze she can tank..

Apparently, Vegas restaurants and other fashionable venues are vying for her (and other) celebrities as it puts them squarely in the crosshairs of unlimited publicity.

I’m thinking we can do this, I can play a “Fish Hoochie” in my sleep. I’m not thinking Vegas and Rodeo drive, more like Alaskan fly out lodges and the Bristol Bay bed and breakfast scene. 

It’ll require a bit of acting as we have to practice the “my cell phone isn’t working” whine, and call room service to remove an unwanted mosquito or two, but the trip and liquor will be gratis.

We don’t even have to be famous, we just need to be related to someone famous, and act the part. I can pose as Madonna’s recently adopted Croatian infant, afterwards we can park Cessna’s in pine trees and bury a Ram 2500 in a snowbank.

I figure we need 15 posse members and another 15 posing as Paparazzi. No film required, click shutters a lot and act excited when I pose for the obligatory, “Darn, no underwear under my waders” shot.

Any “glampers” out there, needing to see and be seen?

Technorati Tags: glampers, celebrity fees, boorish lodge behavior, hoochie