Category Archives: current events

That’s OK, we slept since then

It's We ate all the big stuff, most of the medium sized stuff, and we’re working on the small stuff now. Next comes the really small stuff, those critters so important to the food chain that their absence upsets the entire apple cart.

West coast salmon virtually collapsed this year despite our best lip service, we said we were conserving them like a sumbitch – and industry estimates backed our play. Then the bottom fell out – and everyone shrugs their shoulder and points at “not enough krill” – we were managing the take just fine.

Now they’re suctioning Krill – mostly because of the health benefits associated with Omega 3 fatty acids; you take a couple tons of the fundamental building block of the entire saltwater food chain, mash it up and add some Yellow Dye #3 – puke that into capsule form and serve it up to an aging overweight population as a miracle cure for what ails them.

Naturally the estimates of Krill populations vary depending on whether your livelihood is derived from their capture; scientists estimate 100 million tonnes, and the fishing industry claims there’s five times that amount.

Me, I see it as simple genetic manipulation, akin to the same stuff various organizations protest most violently. In the one case, we’re tinkering in an area best left to Divinities, and in the other – screw them, they’re just  salt water insects nobody’s exploiting yet.

It’s a kind of unknowing hypocrisy, what they really fear is we’ll unleash a biological atom bomb that’ll destroy the Earth in a couple of weeks, whereas destroying the Earth in a couple of decades is just fine.

I don’t get it.

Egghead scientists and eco-radicals get on the Telly – and once they start frothing the rest of us turn the channel. Normal folks are excluded from the same exposure because they don’t froth at the mouth, and make poor sound bites.

That leaves me, a semi-literate SOB wading up a polluted creek thrilled to catch 3″ fish that no one else wants, knowing that next year they’ll be 2″ – and fewer.

Just remember, Soylent Green is made from People…

I own a piece of history – albeit a dirty little piece

My little piece of historyThere’s not much I can say other than “..at least mine’s natural.”

I’ve been researching maps on creeks and impoundments in my area, looking for those less traveled places that may hold something special. I’ve found a brown trout stream and a couple small lakes off the beaten path – but the most persistent thread through all of this landscape is Mercury.

Lots and lots of it – and I’m sitting on the motherlode.

The Clear Lake / Cache Creek drainage has been mined for Mercury for more than a century, in fact, during the California Gold Rush – much of the Mercury used to extract the gold ore was garnered from my little crick and it’s surrounding watershed.

A toxic Superfund site still exists in the Oak Creek arm of Clear Lake, the source of the heavy water I’ve mentioned in the last couple of months, it was responsible for 150 tons of Mercury leaching into that impoundment – and each winter is released into the Little Stinking, stirring up the streambed in the process.

The mine was closed in 1957, leaving a hole
that began filling with water from creeks and
geothermal springs. Dubbed the Herman
Impoundment, the “lake” covers 23 acres
amid 120 acres of mine tailings and waste
rock. Because it sits higher than the level of
Clear Lake, contaminated waters from the
impoundment leach into the Lake.

During the 1970s and 1980s, it was discovered
that catfish and bass in Clear Lake had
elevated levels of mercury, and fish advisories
were put into effect. In 1990 the property
was designated an EPA Superfund Site, and
it is currently the largest mercury Superfund
site in the nation.

Abandoned Mercury mines dot each of the local tributaries adding to the ecological burden, as runoff sluices multiple sources into one large slug of “yummy” that ends up in San Francisco Bay.

“Brownlining” may not appropriate any longer, now that I discovered the silver lining of my creek.

I may take a look at Herman Impoundment as it’s likely to host great dry fly fishing, 30 turns of 2-Amp lead wire would skitter across the surface without even getting damp.

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Long on waders and short on boats

Mussel encrusted pipe In a surprise move for Southern California anglers, water agencies have closed a number of local lakes to boat use. Fearing the spread of Quagga mussels and concerned about the liability of clearing pumps and intakes, authorities in four counties have banned all boat traffic from  lakes Casitas, Westlake, Wolford, and Cachuma.

They consume so much plant life that the water turns clear, allowing sunlight to stimulate the growth of a blue-green algae that can cause taste and odor problems in drinking water..

We’re not overly surprised, it’s a foregone conclusion that reliable drinking water will beat out anglers or migratory fish, it may put a crimp in boat sales over the long term.

“My water district customers are not going to feel good about paying for something that is introduced by recreational activities over which they have no control,” Charles Hamilton, general manager of the Carpinteria Valley Water District, told Santa Barbara County officials.

We think of “aquatic hitchhikers” as a nuisance, requiring a pungent yet brief dose of Formula 409 or bleach, but the inability to remove them once entrenched may hold larger ramifications in the future.

While it’s not likely to include a cavity search in the parking lot by sterile technicians wielding canisters of Agent Orange, most of the foreign hosts have been “friendly” – at some point that may not be the case.

Some large arsed toothy sumbitch laying on the bottom waiting for you to take your sweater off – because it likes emergers ..

Strange place, stranger flies, and the honor of your country at stake

Waimakariri River The 2008 World Fly Fishing Championships will be held next week in New Zealand. One of those events we find out after the fact, as no media stateside appears to be covering the proceedings.

Despite our insistence the sport shouldn’t be made competitive, the rest of Europe has had fly fishing competitions for many years. It’s our amateurs against their “Dream Team” – and last year’s 11th place finish was our best showing to date. Considering all of the forces arrayed against a competitor, it’s amazing that they can assimilate everything foreign and catch fish in the same week.

Probably half the field has never fished there before, the flies are new,  as is the stalk, tactics, and presentation – all of which are assisted by a couple of Time Zone changes and unfamiliar everything.

A good outing is preceded by frying your razor in an international socket, the shower draining in the opposite direction, driving on the wrong side of the road, and night when they’re shouldn’t be any. All this and asked to produce more fish than any other angler?

I sure hope they’ve guides and assistants to figure out all the exchange rate, local customs, and to assist in the driving – because with everything else to worry about, you sure won’t have much time to tie flies.

Fips-Mouche is three phases, the Waihou (spring creek), the Waimakariri, and the final stage, the Otamangakau and Rotoaira lakes. All fish must be greater than 18cm (7 inches) to be counted.

Luck to our fellows, they’ll surely need it.

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There’s no solution other than someone will have to suffer

A lot of folks will be needing some of this It’s a tough issue and likely one we’ll be debating on the West Coast due to the collapse of the Salmon fishery. Europe isn’t immune, only the fish species changes with European Cod fishermen suffering a like fate.

Senators Kerry and Kennedy secured $13.4 million in funds to assist local fishermen, and are incensed that the agency charged with disbursement may want to buy back some commercial licenses with half – and pay the balance out to the affected fisher folk.

“In his letter to Paul Diodati, director of the Massachusetts Division of Marine Fisheries, Oliver recommended that just half of the $13.4 million go toward fishermen’s subsidies. Oliver also recommended that 40 to 60 percent of the funds be used to buy back some of the 700 federal groundfish permits held by Massachusetts fishermen.”

“Capacity reduction, such as buyouts, is at the core of transitioning to a more stable fishing environment,” Oliver wrote.

Outside of the obvious emotional issues, there’s sound logic in both camps. A lot of livelihoods are at stake, and at the same time there may be too many fishermen to sustain the fishery were it to be restored.

Fish populations have been on the decline for years, for dozens of reasons – among them the increase in demand, and the increased mortality of mechanized harvest (an issue hotly debated in Europe).

For salmon fishermen this bears watching, as it may be a precursor to what you’re offered in assistance.

You may want to airbrush out the fish hook if you’re determined to prove your point

Name it and achieve immortality How’s your entomology? The 50 million year old mayfly likely needs to be keyed to genus and species.

..or you can take the shortcut, and hope no one notices you might have bent the rules a bit..

An Islamic text entitled “The Atlas of Creation” has created quite a stir, it purports to show Darwinism doesn’t exist – assisted by fossil evidence in amber to prove the point.

The only problem is that little nameless caddis fly, not the one preserved in amber, it’s the “live” one next to it … the one that hasn’t changed in all them millions of years.

My what a big hook you have

I’d say there were red faces aplenty – especially with that big old hook there for the scientific community to pounce on.

Come to think of it, that hook does look old…

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Which C-Lister do we want as our spokesman?

Hulkamaniacs do Bass, Baby You can enjoy your pristine wilderness-kinda experience, then wonder why your congressman boots you out of his office, despite amusing his secretary with fish costumes and chants about indiscriminate water bottle use.

Money and “C” list celebrities are the new Tammany Hall mob, a lethal combination of pandering and getting the message across; it doesn’t matter whether you get the autograph or not, it’s the soundbite that counts.

Today, FLW Fantasy Fishing(TM) awarded the first of seven historic fantasy sport prizes: $100,000 to Christopher Toring of Minneapolis, Minnesota. With the groundbreaking announcement of FLW Fantasy Fishing and the largest fantasy sports payout ever, including $7.3 million in cash and prizes, the excitement and anticipation has kept participants and fans on the edge of their seats and eager to become $100,000 richer — just by playing FLW Fantasy Fishing.

I figure the entire fly fishing industry has a combined advertising budget of less than $7.3 million, the amount the fantasy fishing game is giving away.

But wait, there’s more…

Hulk Hogan just signed as the spokesman for the contest, can the reality show be far behind? Nothing like a canny marketing juggernaut to kick sand in our sandwich – I have to applaud, they know their demographic, and are destined for something astraddle the evening news.

Don’t despair, Ted Nugent still fishes, and I think Mr. T is available.

They dubbed the fish "Saddam’s Bass"

Most of the fishing award ceremonies I’ve seen have the lucky angler dancing around the “what’s the secret” portion of his coronation. Fishermen are a closed mouthed lot, and those that do it for money are pretty tight lipped – as the color of their bait may mean a couple extra zero’s in their income.

Honesty? We’re not prepared for that – so when the winning fellow strides to the podium and announces, “A rattletrap tipped with Pizza Crust?” … it’s time to pay homage.

Soldiers often were creative with bait, Combs said. Whole bagels. Sausage. Breakfast burritos from MRE rations. Dates. The local stone-baked flatbread. Some regular fishermen prefer Froot Loops.

The first Baghdad fishing tournament was filmed for posterity by Reel Time Productions, whose staff took 300 sets of donated tackle to host the event in one of Saddam’s private lakes.

A 14lb carp proved the winning fish, but based on the smiles – it wasn’t the only winner.

For the soldiers in Iraq, fishing is “a chance to get out in the air and sit around the lake, and at that point, they could have been anywhere in the world,” Combs said. “They could have been in Ohio fishing on the banks of the river. It’s just a little bit of normalcy for them in a place that is anything but normal.”

It’s nice to see the fellows get a little break from the mayhem.

Feng Shui – my fly tying bench could use a dab of that

Don’t anger your Feng Shui consultantUs Californians bear a hideous burden, we’re supposed to export American culture to the rest of the world via Hollywood and politicians, and have additional responsibility to export some lifestyle change that ensures we’re the laughingstock of the rest of the country.

McDonald’s wants a taste of that action, opening a “Feng Shui’d” grease mart that assumes the elemental touch will have you admiring their decor, rather than counting all them silly grams of lard you’re ingesting. I figure if Mickey Dee’s wants in the fad may have run its course.

Then again, I may be wrong.

The makeover is part of the attempt by McDonald’s Corp. in recent years to remodel hundreds of its restaurants to attract more patrons with unique decor and amenities that might entice them stay awhile.

It also fits into McDonald’s larger corporate practice of catering to local tastes, such as a fondue-style burger in France or a pita-wrapped “McArabia” sandwich in the Middle East.

The “McArabia” might be the reason Osama Bin Laden torched the World Trade Center, it was pure self defense…

The basic principles of feng shui include placing strategic representations of five natural elements – earth, water, fire, metal and wood – around the room to increase the flow of chi, or energy.

I’m thinking my fly tying bench could use some Feng Shui, but incorporating all those elements could be problematic. Water is easiest, so I’ll require a keg refrigerator – I can run some carburetor hose up the armature of my lamp for “hands free” usage, and I don’t have to worry about tipping over glasses, or having an odd number of empty cans, which would disrupt “chi”.

Houseplants are prized in feng shui circles as a means of bringing desirable chi, or energy, into the home. They’re also a natural air purifier, and a simple way to brighten up the dark, short days of winter.

So I buy some Gro-Lights and revisit my college days, growing herbs rather than flowers or plasticine jungle foliage. Useful, likely to increase the creativity of my tying, but bouts of cotton mouth and cravings for vanilla ice cream topped with Mango Chutney will result in weight gain.

Another perfectly simple, but crucial, feng shui dictum. If something in your home is broken or in disrepair – even if it’s something that you rarely use, or keep in storage – fix it or get rid of it. The idea: malfunctioning or damaged objects engender pessimism and frustration.

I followed the directions to the letter, now I walk around dazed and haven’t tied anything other than shoe laces in months, it’s me that’s broken … so much for trendy..

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Never met the fellow but he’s got to be a Brownliner

Ross Millichamp While you’re sitting in the safety of your parlor attempting to decide which of them Cuban’s goes best with an antique scotch – one of the Brethren is in peril.

I never met the fellow, the fact that he’s acquired “flesh eating disease” from a fish bite is all the pedigree I require.  He’s likely a Brownliner, may even have invented the sport.

It’s a bit unnerving that something as simple as an abrasion in salt water can lead to a malady of ills, including the life threatening flavor.

It’s more stuff to remember, apparently one variant of the flesh eating parasite is acquired through raw saltwater fish, or the handling of same including shellfish.

The above book doesn’t smack of a brownline venue, we’ll hope for a speedy recovery just the same.

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