Category Archives: current events

They’re planted but I wouldn’t call them Peanuts

I’ve always keenly followed angling in Europe as a portent of what we can expect. Our brethren “across the pond” have had an extra thousand years to civilize their landscape, and many of their practices and restrictions are headed our way … with time.

 They call him El Diablo

Fascinating to me is the concept of named fish – and how carp anglers will flock to a certain impoundment knowing that “Old Breadcrust” – when last caught weighed 87 pounds, has packed on a few kilograms more.

Many years ago, one of the fellows I fished with had names for specific fish in a specific run he’d fish nightly. Hearing the score card was a little creepy, ” I caught Alan and Chad, foul hooked Bob in the arse with a Little Yellow Stone, right after breaking off George.”

A voice from one of the other cars in the darkened parking lot, “Oh, you finally broke it off with George?”

Me, I peel waders innocently counting on darkness to hide my grin.

I’ve named quite a few fish in the dirt water – most because of distinguishing characteristics; unnatural lust for a certain fly, missing body parts, or something similar – but mostly I’ve always thought of the practice as reason to fish somewheres else.

“Legendary” fish gives an interesting slant – provided the names are appropriately evil, desperate, or vicious. “I busted a cap in TinkerBelle’s ass.” – could lead to another darkened parking lot exchange – or tears streaming down the face of a child, and both should be avoided.

It certainly makes explaining “catch & release” easy, how the fish gets bigger if he’s allowed to live. Perhaps we’ll get to stop preaching and spend more time practicing that concept.

As we migrate to private impoundments and association-owned stillwater, it’ll offer the proprietor a steady source of revenue – as care and maintenance should influence growth, thereby making his fish notorious and worthy of a multiple hour drive.

When the world record dies of old age, we’ll get dozens of “Loch Ness” sightings; pre-dawn monsters seen by the red rimmed eyes of grizzled locals – hushed whispers in the parking lot over cold thermos coffee, while the distraught dogwalker asks had we seen Fluffy…

“Hey Bob, bet ‘Old Razorblade’ is burping up a dog collar …”

As always there’ll be some uniquely American slant to the affair so we can claim we invented it, my bet is we’ll eschew the “boilie” concept in favor of the single, artificial …

… Deep Fried Twinkie.

I’ll confess to being tempted to try a swallow

Considering the number of scientists working feverishly to combine the proper amount of glitter, motion, color, and scent, a 65% “eaten” rate isn’t bad. Unfortunately, tank-raised Brook Trout have the IQ of bar soap -which may skew the numbers a trifle, and adds a little urgency to the bulletin.

Gummy Lizard

Maine would prefer you not drop worms and grubs in the water any longer – and if possible, retrieve those that you do ..

Take a tank full of 14 year old humans and toss in a combination of Rice Crispies, Chex, Corn Flakes, and Raisin Bran, along with a shovel or two of Gummy Bears, and you’ll see “natural selection”, where the healthy crap is trodden under in a rush for sweet goo.

Given that soft plastic lures are the product of countless hours of painstaking research, materials from the Space Program, and millions of dollars of seed money from the likes of Rapala and Shakespeare, now that they appeal to all kinds of fish they want us to stop using them?

Thirty-eight brook trout Salvelinus fontinalis were fed a commercial trout diet mixed with a free-choice assortment of soft plastic lures (SPLs) over a 90-d period. Fish growth was recorded and compared with that of a control group. The brook trout readily ate the SPLs from the water’s surface as well as from the tank bottom. At the conclusion of the study, SPLs were recovered from the stomachs of 63% of the test fish. Several fish stomachs contained multiple lures. Twelve percent of the fish voluntarily ingested more than 10% of their body mass in SPLs. These fish lost a significant amount of weight during the study, had a significant decrease in body condition factor, and began displaying anorexic behaviors. For these reasons, anglers should be discouraged from discarding used SPLs in trout waters.

After a lifetime of careful testing, observation of trout feeding patterns and entomological behavior – I finally develop “King Solomon’s Mines” – the fly that catches a fish everytime it’s thrown. Whilst enjoying my new found stature (I haven’t paid for a drink in weeks), some bespectacled fellow in a white lab coat admonishes me for dropping them in the water?

Here’s a better solution; consider growing a Brook Trout that can distinguish between a dog turd and a tootsie roll, and eats one and not the other, then I’ll feel properly mortified.

Carp worth more per pound than Beluga Caviar?

The science is flawless but the economy might have ramifications for their life expectancy…

A $30,000 pollution sniffing Carp is a miracle of modern robotics, like mine they’re likely to ignore flies, but with the hardship suffered by the global fishing community, what’s preventing a canny angler from upending a 55 gallon drum of fuel oil into the bay, and then running a drift net through its plume?

It's a Somali special UK scientists plan on releasing a half dozen of these finned sniffing machines into the murky waters of Gijon, Spain. If successful we could expect to see the devices deployed in both freshwater and salt.

Each robot fish is armed with autonomous navigation capabilities, allowing them to swim around the port without the need of human intervention. They also can return automatically to a charging station when their batteries run low after about eight hours of use.

Wi-Fi allows the offload of data collected and if your yacht is pumping its bilge at the wrong time, you could earn a visit by the local constabulary.

The movie shows an uncanny swimming motion, perhaps our next trophy venue will include robotic steelhead capable of snapping trees and hawser cable.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYvyiruWzYo[/youtube]

But before you clap with glee, you may want to watch Westworld a second time.

If we are most of the known killers, why must they die

How dare they do what comes natural? The cake exists until the last slice vanishes, then we finger the culprit and demand satisfaction – despite our distended belly and inability to eat anything more. It begs the question, how does not inhaling the last slice exonerate us of eating the rest of the cake?

Somehow our sense of proportion is out of whack, which isn’t surprising, the banks did similar by leveraging assets 30 times – and only claimed foul when everything fell apart.

Now we’re going to kill Sea Lion’s that had the audacity to eat salmon on the Columbia River – after farking the salmon completely with  over-harvest, pollution, and encroachment of watershed. We’ve bulldozed the spawning gravel for the foundation for our McMansion, cut the bank timber to build yet another strip mall, and now we’re incensed that something else on the planet has the chutzpah to want some too?

It’s comforting that we’re so distraught over the salmon’s plight that we’re willing to kill crap out of anything looking to harm one, but as Sea Lion’s aren’t killing for glee or leaving the unwanted carcasses on the bank – and if they outnumber the salmon and that’s not fair, whose fault is that really?

California isn’t the only state with it’s head up it’s collective arse.

We know that sea lions are not to blame for the demise of Columbia salmon. The fish runs collapsed because of dams, overfishing and habitat destruction. Even today, these are more significant causes of salmon mortality than sea lions. But we also know that the Northwest has no choice now but to address every killer of wild salmon.

As we remain “most of the killers”, I’d like to see the list of homes we’ll raze, timber acres to be restored, dams eliminated, and strip malls bulldozed for spawning gravel, because that might give the silvery SOB’s a fighting chance.

Seals, Otter, Osprey, and the American Fish Eagle dine on Salmon – I’m sure we’ll be properly outraged at each affront and insist on blowing a gaping hole in a Liberty Pigeon’s plumbing …

A green solution to Carp infestation billed as an infrastructure project?

It's the Green Solution Commissioner Gordon had the Bat Signal to summon reinforcements, and based on a roll up of recent headlines I’m not sure some type of Brownline Reaction Force isn’t needed to assist ailing cities, states, and foreign continents.

Australia is about to be eaten from the inside by invasive carp, and there’s a steady litany of similar stories worldwide. Naturally, us fellows that trod brown water gets ignored – as each municipality hatches some potent toxin to kill the underwater cockroach, and maims half their population in the doing.

“Delta Force” would be a handsome label – but it’s taken already, and even legions of fly fishing carp aficionados wouldn’t risk angering Chuck Norris. His carefully pressed black fatigues don’t do justice to the brownish toxins we wade through, although years of watery diversions to feed the voracious lawns of Southern California have reduced our Delta to a fetid porridge.

Sigourney Weaver had a great idea with, “… nuke it from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure” – but that was said before the housing crisis, and nobody wants to depreciate precious lakefront real estate further…

Taiwan is appealing for foreign fly fishermen to assist in depopulating a couple of carp infested creeks – and begs the question, “if we lent all those F-16’s and M1A1 Abrams to the Saudi’s and Iraqi’s to lift the yoke of the despot – can we spare a couple of C-47’s to get us and our tackle to Taiwan?”

With the Army Corp of Engineer’s drawing straws to see who licks his fingers and touches the carp barrier to the Great Lakes, and plodding local agencies fist fighting over who gets the biggest bailout if they make it past, maybe it’s time to unleash a brigade of oversexed, opinionated, foul smelling fishermen on the problem.

There’s an even chance they’d make a much bigger problem, but “kill your limit and don’t limit your kill” would likely trigger a mass migration to the afflicted region and since half are out of work, perhaps a small bounty (based on raw tonnage) would keep body and soul together for a couple more mortgage payments.

Call it an “infrastructure” buildout – as that crowd could assemble a couple extra bridges from their empty beercans and discarded monofilament.

You could start with an officer cadre of Roughfisher, 40 Rivers, Fat Guy’s Fly Fishing, Michael Gracie, Fishing Jones, and John Montana of Carp on the Fly – and let them pick a brigade or two of the deadliest potbellied killers, give them fancy camo, teach them a parade formation, and you’d have the makings of the better mousetrap – assisting in restoring relations with alienated dictators, tribal leaders, and the balance of NATO.

Now loan them to whichever city or state had seen enough civilian posterior tossing bread slices into brackish water, hide the cold beer and wimmenfolk and run for cover.

It’s a “Green” solution, and while the rest of us are busy expending normal energy at work, they’d be burning “alternative energy” draped across lawn furniture stroking a couple days growth of beard and sporting yesterday’s underwear. Boost the GDP with the addition of a couple Sushi chef’s, a refrigerated truck, and we could export flash frozen fillets to whomever developed a taste for watery bovines.

No smell except for them, no toxic backlash except for them, and a pristine riparian enclave the result. Isn’t this what was meant when the President suggested we were going to have to buckle down and do our share?

Backorder is out of the Question

With the government’s intent to pursue the assets of the Madoff clan, it would suggest that Abel Reels might be inching closer to receivership. News announced yesterday states the government’s intent to freeze the assets of both Ruth Madoff and her two sons, and their interest in “20 other entities.”

Could "Poppa Behind Bars" be the last in the line of fancy finishes?

That would suggest the Abel Reels might have their production curtailed, as both Andrew and Mark Madoff are co-owners of Abel Holdings LLC, the firm that owns the company. If you’ve considered owning some of their product, I’d think you’d move smartly.

Details are sketchy and rumors are flying, and forum chatter suggests a connection to the venerable Thomas & Thomas Rod Co, and Sharpe’s of Aberdeen.

Rumors should be taken with a large dose of salt, other than their ownership of Abel, nothing else has been confirmed. Abel Holdings LLC may have bid on other enterprises or expressed interest – I can find nothing that suggests either company is owned by Abel Holdings LLC.

From the Abel Press release (of November 2007):

Andrew Madoff, Abel Holdings LLC lead investor, said, “Abel’s 20-year legacy of unparalleled quality and performance makes it an attractive investment. As I’ve gotten to know the company through this process it has become clear that its most important assets are the people that create these excellent products. We’re thrilled to lend our expertise and join them in building this business and the Abel brand.

“We will work with existing management to help refine all operations of the business, reposition it for growth, and maintain the manufacturing processes that allows Abel to produce the finest fly reels in the world.”

Swanson, with Abel in various capacities since 1994, will continue to run the company day-to-day and assumes the title of president and chief operating officer. Representing Abel Holdings LLC, Madoff will be the CEO.

With the legacy of Poppa Madoff, backorder is out of the question.

Update: The tie in between Sharpe’s of Aberdeen and Thomas & Thomas rods does not involve the Madoff’s or Abel Holdings LLC. Sharpe’s attempted to purchase Thomas & Thomas in 2007, an agreement was reached for the sale of the company, but Sharpe’s became insolvent and was run by the Bank of Scotland.

While making the initial payment for T&T (in the amount of $100,000) Sharpe’s failed to make any other payments nor surrender 10% of their stock to the owners of T&T.

T&T sued them in Ohio courts, but the Articles of Incorporation show T&T’s president remains (as of 11/2008) John Metcalf, who was appointed by Sharpe’s, so the deal has apparently completed. Part of the court record is available including the terms of the purchase and subsequent suit.

It’s the Secret Spot known only to Google Earth

It’s part and parcel of the angling culture, you call up a buddy to invite him fishing, mention you’re taking someone else and he can’t go. The next thing you hear, ” … whatever you do don’t show him my spot!”

Fishing myth in Japan includes wading into the water where you see a spider web – proof that no one has fished there recently.

It’s the same whether you claw your way up a mountainside, or lose the tailing traffic in a Gordian Knot of dirt roads – you’re busy patting yourself on the back and glance down to see an arrowhead.

Face it, your spot is the best kept secret of a couple hundred fishermen, so when another dog nears your hydrant, there’s no need to show teeth.

 1000 Year old fishing trap

The Mother of all Red Faced-ness is the fellow that thought the above spot was known only to him. With the assistance of Google Earth, scientists have discovered the remnants of a thousand year old fishing trap off the coastline of Wales.

Stones stacked a meter wide with the overall dimension 835 feet, it’s the Stonehenge of Angling – with some fellow on the bank wondering why “his” spot is suddenly so popular.

We’re talking finance, not Fission

Better'n facing facts ourselves It’d be like finding out Hitler’s Mom lived next door … Can you imagine?

An unrelated factoid I stumbled across this weekend while doing some research on something entirely different. I call it “the Miracle that is the Internet”, if you can focus on one subject while searching, it’s a miracle.

With all of the debris and suffering of the financial system, with Wall Street demanding bonuses for shoddy work, and the hoopla of the media desperately attempting to assign blame, have you ever heard of David X. Li?

I figured as much.

The model Mr. Li devised helped estimate what return investors in certain credit derivatives should demand, how much they have at risk and what strategies they should employ to minimize that risk. Big investors started using the model to make trades that entailed giant bets with little or none of their money tied up. Now, hundreds of billions of dollars ride on variations of the model every day.

“David Li deserves recognition,” says Darrell Duffie, a Stanford University professor who consults for banks. He “brought that innovation into the markets [and] it has facilitated dramatic growth of the credit-derivatives markets.”

Wall Street took Mr. Li’s work (the Gaussian Copula) as gospel, it allowed them to value and bundle many kinds of derivatives, how to charge for the risk, and enabled the rating system under which they were sold.

Without his formula none of this would have happened.

A hundred years from now will the high school textbooks still list Genghis Khan, Adolf Hitler, and David Li – and will they be in that order?

Recently a review of the work might have found a teensy little error … he may have to return the Nobel prize, but he’ll still have the Edwin Teller Award for Money Fission.

The start of a disturbing trend and it may be time to arm bears

That's a hefty insurance premium Anglers have always been an agile lot, any crack in the fence or slack in barbed wire quickly exploited for fishing purposes. We’ve scraped flesh, twisted ankles, and occasionally needed ambulances and the Coast Guard to return us to safety.

As the press of people grows, and mindful that the largest growth in outdoor use is wildlife watchers, are we suddenly at the mercy of large insurance companies and their stiff premiums?

My saltwater-youth was largely the San Francisco waterfront – which was a thriving commercial enterprise; freighters would dock and depart and were impervious to the 4 ounce pyramid sinkers we flung in their direction.

With the demise of the freighter traffic and the collapse of the freeway during the Loma Prieta earthquake, the waterfront was rebuilt and gentrified to make the area attractive for tourists, dog walker’s, and inevitable “40 is the new 20” jogging crowd.

So which group do we exclude?

However the local water board has banned fishing on the dam wall after a number of anglers sustained minor injuries slipping on the rocks. Anglers are also banned from most of the rest of the reservoir for fear back casting will snare a passer-by, although this has never happened in the forty years since the reservoir was built.

It’s merely a footnote about a UK impoundment – banning fishermen from fishing for fear they might hook a passersby, but this type of contention for a resource is liable to increase.

The urban waterfront is likely at risk, with voters pedestrians outnumbering anglers by many hundredfold, but with the press of humanity expanding outward, marching under the Political Correctness battle standard, will this be an issue for some of our freshwater venues as well?

It’s too early yet to tell, but it’s likely each of us knows of numerous spots close enough to a parking lot, or within the confines of a wildlife sanctuary, where anglers and non fishermen intermingle.

Soaring insurance premiums endured by the owning counties and cities are a compelling reason to side with the less agile pedestrian – as they’re not tempting fate by repelling down a cliff face, or being stranded at high tide as we are.

They’re still debating whether to bill the 134 ice fishermen rescued off Lake Erie this year. It could be we’re headed for a wakeup call.

It does beg the question of why that breakwater was created. The intent was to protect the boats and harbor – but if they’re no longer a factor, who has first dibs? Certainly, fishermen scampered over the greasy rocks first – but now that the city has installed a path and landscaped the aging edifice, and it’s used by a mix of folks – what now?

We’ve seen how lawns vote more frequently than fish, it’s not unexpected that pedestrians will vote more than fishermen.

Some well intentioned angling organization gains public access to a formerly private creek, installing parking lot and riparian protection – and in so doing denies us fishermen from ever using it due to more frequent use by birders?

Ouch.

All those graphite rods have to wind up somewhere’s

An "old" tackle Juggernaut It’s jarring everytime I see it mentioned. I’m not sure whether to insist it’s a sign of the times, or Goodwill Industries is a new tackle juggernaut in the making.

My casual count shows eBay tackle sales on the rise, and if it didn’t sell there – is Momma winning, and we’re laying down our arms?

Apparently Goodwill and FLW Outdoors are fielding a team for the pro Bass circuit. Goodwill’s angle is to tap the festivities for clothing donations – but if Father Joe is funding orphanages with used cars, can Goodwill do similar with last year’s bass boat donation?

With the recession-assisted withdrawal of the high dollar sponsors, there’s plenty of room for charitable causes. Angling and charity are a natural fit; us fishermen have always been keen on donating tackle to tree limbs and stream debris –  we could wind up their richest catch yet.

You’re a soft touch and you know it …