Category Archives: current events

A nine foot AFTMA Pipe bomb

Patronizing my local fly shop has never been a issue. Guys like me always look for the rack of shopping carts when we enter – despite already owning everything.

While online shopping dominates the day to day replacements and flights of fancy, my stern rule is always drop a double sawbuck at the destination shops – the little guys – whose season lasts seven months if they’re lucky, and are a wealth of local fishing knowledge, things you forgot, and the repository of known feeding weaknesses of your quarry.

I may rethink that somewhat.

Most of us are already reluctant fliers, what with the cavity searches and grinning PSA storm troopers displaying all our underwear, illicit booze and the girlie mags we packed for the fishless hours …

… never sure whether we’ll see our rod caddy ever again.

Now we’ve taken out a ferry service, a shopping mall and most of a downtown city block just to blow up a fishing rod – it makes you wonder whether you’ll get a bill from the Gendarmes.

Saving seventy dollars in state tax seemed like a good idea when we finally dropped the cash for the high-end Sage, but now you’re three rows back in the throng of onlookers wondering whether you should claim the fragment of fore grip from the bomb squad.

Me, I’d hurry past the angry drivers in all those stalled cars, past the hundreds of mall employees bent shivering in their livery, wave good naturedly at the throng lining the rail of the good ship Commute – and the pale green spreading across ruddy cheeks as they wallow in diesel, and wait the prerequisite two weeks before angrily inquiring of the vendor what had become of my money …

“No, I never got the sumbitch … and sure I’ll take that faux leather set of dry fly drink coasters for my aggravation, that’s most sporting of you – but my address has changed, here’s the PO BOX …”

Tags: PSA storm trooper, bomb rod, girlie mags, fly fishing humor, local fly shop, online shopping

Server Crash silences lippy pear shaped author

I call it an enforced vacation, wherein the server dies screaming and the Trout Underground spends the next 48 hours with phone glued to his ear dealing with unrepentant tech support types …

… which I find funny, as I are one …

Apparently most of the data was lost after last Friday, but as most of the posts were forgettable – it’s no great loss. I’ve restored what I can – but we’ve lost all comments and my mail is once again inoperable…

My apologies for the service interruption, but in all things there is a bright spot. TC has a great excuse to avoid shoveling snow, and I get a day or two off to lounge around – versus scrambling frantically trying to find something to amuse you.

Bear with us.

We put the Junk in Junk Food – a Superbowl photo journal

Little Stinking in between rain showers

A Saturday scout in between rain showers. The Little Stinking, swollen and defiant… Bagged it in preference to assembling an artery hardening ensemble of deep fried, coagulated, and partially hydrogenated Superbowl chow.

Superbowl Sunday

It was the Czech’s against the Slovak’s at my place – and the first quarter featured Strawberry Yogurt Pretzels and …

Czech_Nymph1

… Brachycentrus, which suddenly sprouted a hint of Claret to match – washed down with a fully leaded French Roast chaser.

Dree Brees removes Indianapolis body parts from his facemask

The second quarter started briskly, and while Drew Brees clawed a couple of Indianapolis body parts out of his facemask, the Czech’s retaliated with …

Black Beans featuring Cilantro and Tomato

… the Black Bean, Cilantro and Tomato nymph. I was a mess – hyped on sugar, caffeine, and with a methane potential of a herd of fattened bovines.

.. and the Aint's are beginning to ..

By the third quarter the Saint’s fans were getting raucous while the Indianapolis crowd grew silent. As the excitement grew I was noisily toasting each and every catch, run, and timeout. I’d sworn off the bean dip, yet it would haunt me throughout the day.

Yogurt Stained finger nymph

The spinach and black olive veggie loaf was the antidote – yet it added a certain hallucinogenic bent. Embellishments started to come unbidden to the latest Czech patterns – and the book was closed in favor of the Sunset Rhyacophila …

Superbowl_4thquarter

By the fourth quarter I was on the downward spiral while the Saint’s began their ascendancy. The down side being that the obscene mixture ingested allowed me to translate both Czech and Slovak – and I could read the giggles and catcalls from the tiers whose patterns I was attempting to reproduce.

The Pepcid-Maalox Olive Dun

… which was a warning sign it was time to hit the medicine cabinet, but not before finishing a dozen of the Pepcid-Maalox Olive Dun in size 14 …

I think I missed the Lombardi trophy, but I was past caring …

Tags: Czech nymphs, Olive Dun, Slovak fly tiers, Czech fly patterns, Brachycentrus, Rhyacophila, Super Bowl, California cuisine, Maalox, fly tying

The toxic spill that cleans itself

It was all in the timing. My latest read is about the spread of that most egregious invasive – how the Rainbow Trout has pillaged most continents (ably assisted by well meaning anglers) – enroute to world domination …

… and up till now it’s been a source of interest, as my California streams provided the brood stock for half the globe.

Then I stumbled on a couple of recent papers where scientists were attempting to answer this century’s question, “when millions of farmed fish escape, where do they go?” (PDF)

My rationale could’ve been Science, but in all honesty it was pure greed. If I knew which creek 100,000 artificially fattened 8 lb salmon were housed, and knowing that a half empty beer can would be struck and often, I’d abandon family and work responsibilities instantly.

While the small sample cited cannot be conclusive, it suggests if you’re a bit timid about crossing “fat” genes with “big” – you might want to grab the brood stock from another continent.

The researchers tagged and experimentally released 678 farmed fish in Scotland and 597 farmed fish in Norway. Only a small percentage of the fish were recovered by fishermen and reported to the researchers (.6% of the Scottish fish and 7% of the Norwegian fish).

However, the Scottish fish that were caught had travelled very far – up to 1600 kilometers from the release site – and all dispersed to the east towards Scandinavia. Meanwhile, the Norwegian farmed salmon released were mostly recaptured by fishermen in local waters – 27 in freshwater and 15 in sea – within 150 kilometers of the release site.

Released and recapture locales

One especially interesting hypothesis to explain the easterly bias towards Scandinavia in all fish recaptured including those from Scotland, the authors speculate that this may be due to the dominance of Norwegian broodstock in the existing strains of European aquaculture.

It’s akin to the perfect crime. As your aquaculture endeavor is still new – and while you work out the kinks, the anglers a continent away are catching two-headed Salmon in Lemon Yellow and Orange Orange.

Throw some camouflage tarp over your torn nets and shrug shoulder, “it wasn’t me.”

… no doubt some fellow in Langley, Virginia has read the same treatise and is designing a predator drone that’s shaped like a Salmon, so he can deliver a lethal payload to some poor Afghani who pauses for a cold drink.

Tags: predator drone, escaped salmon, aquaculture, rainbow trout, invasive species, Norwegian broodstock, Atlantic salmon, perfect crime

Dame Berners is safe, but damn little else is

UK scientists have unearthed a startling new trove of prehistoric angling gear, containing evidence that fly fishing may have developed in prehistoric times …

UK and Chinese scientists are suggesting that the Confuciusornis fossil discovered in China, may have been a dinosaur with a Mohawk of ginger colored feathers running down its spine.

… as this is the first evidence of a feathered animal small enough for Man to run around and beat to death, it’s thought the ginger hackles may have been used to craft fishing lures and flies.

As early Man wasn’t able to trod the river with impunity – everything in and out of the water being two or three times his size, possessing foot long teeth, and faster; these early “flies” may have been part of a rod-snare mechanism versus the “park ass on a rock and wait for the rod tip to move” style of angling practiced today.

Wood fragments found in a nearby cave suggest a tapered tree branch with both ends sharpened. This would allow the snare to be cast into the water, the rod stobbed into the mud nearby, with our prehistoric angler zig-zagging frantically – avoiding ravenous meat eaters while his prehistoric angling buddies shouted encouragement from the safety of a nearby cave.

… damn little has changed.

Ginger Cat's Kill

As our lust for science is well documented, I was asked to view the scraps of sinew and fossilized angling debris to assist in shedding light on these rare artifacts…

… and while puzzled by the “saber-toothed” imitation, scientists reassured me that prehistoric Mayflies ate people with great gusto – and the rendition was anatomically correct.

Fossilized Confuciusornis Cape DNA testing proves the fur used was one of the many predatory cats that roamed the area, perhaps a lucky kill considering the flint spear points and unsophisticated hunting gear consistent with that era.

I called it a “Ginger Cat’s Kill” – due to the indiscriminant use of Confuciusornis hackle – and mentioned that the faint scratches surrounding the fossil had meaning…

Naturally we’ll have to rewrite a few passages involving the Etruscans and Rome … Dame Juliana Berners is safe – but damn little else will be.

Tags: Confuciusornis, ginger hackled dinosaur, Cat’s Kill dry, fly fishing history, dame juliana berners, fossilized feathers, fishing snare, DNA testing, Whiting farms

So thick you could walk across their backs

After a two year ban on commercial fishing the result is another large drop in the fall Chinook run. 2008 was the record low for returning fish, and it appears that 2009 will be lower still.

More troubling is what few fish returning are mostly hatchery fish and it appears the wild Chinook of Oregon and California will be the latest addition to the endangered species list.

… which will bring out the celebrities and Hare Krishna’s – who’ll alternate attempts to self immolate …

You can count on a third year of fishing restrictions, that proclomation is only a formality.

I call it “last fish conservation” – where everyone eats everything until there’s only a single desiccated specimen left, then we make hideous noises and point at each other with great animosity.

The really fun part will be how this plays out with the Paramount Farms – Dianne Feinstein review of the “sloppy science” that suggests the Delta is in trouble. It won’t be some unknown baitfish causing the pumps to grind silent …

… now it’ll be Sushi.

The voting public has always grappled with some small inedible member of the food chain causing civic disturbance – but once they realize there won’t be any more sake (salmon sushi), all those minor celebs from Malibu and Beverly Hills will be armed with torchs, swords, and iced lattes.

… and the next Governor will watch his predecessor’s Water Pact unravel while the studio execs and Silver Screen nobility make small talk about eating everything in Maine, or Alaska.

We’ll take some serious lumps in the press, it is our karma.

Tags: California Chinook salmon decline, sushi, Paramount Farms, Stuart Resnick, hatchery salmon, sake, shake, Dianne Feinstein, Hare Krishna,

Date Error on CA License display

Apparently the newspaper article I cited in an earlier post transposed some dates.

The regulation change for California that eliminates the need to to display your license doesn’t go into effect until March 2010. It’s the Bay-Delta stamp that is no longer required as of January 1, 2010.

… and to the alert reader that spotted the issue, telling the Warden that “Singlebarbed says it’s okay” will likely earn you a fast takedown and a brusque cavity search …

Nor is it a sound defense with an angry Judge.

Just saying is all.

Tags: California fishing license regulation change, Department of Fish & Game, cavity search, Bay Delta stamp

The Karaoke version of Singing in the Rain

I make it “40 Days and 40 Nights, or at least until Thursday” – and am steadfastly unrepentant because it’s only Day One , figuring if I hold out till about Day 17 there’ll be enough water for both me and them plague tomatoes.

Tamawanis has too much snow, Roughfisher is fleeing his ice-bound pals for Hawaii, and us Californians brace for what could become a fourth year of drought. Even worse, it makes all them other fellows from the frostbitten East want to crowd us further…

…where else are they going to go, Florida?

But the last 24 hours has unleashed a gully washer commensurate with dire need. Horizontal rain in sheets, flooded fields (that are soaking it up greedily), and the South end of the state finally has enough water not to borrow mine …

… in fact they’re wanting to return a goodly portion, gratis.

… and as all those dour faces showed up at work – freshly assaulted by fierce winds, rain, and the death-wish tail-gaiting driver behind them, they were met with the sight of my overly fed form skipping through the hallways with a tune on my lips.

Urinalysis turned up negative – additional proof that non-outdoorsmen are humorless SOB’s.

Singlebarbed’s Official Drought indicator is whether Tom Chandler continues to post. As he’s at the top of the pass, we’ll wait until the snow burden and lack of supplies makes the Wonderdog’s tongue something to eat, and the coughing roar of the Honda generator robs him of creativity.

… today, nothing.

Come Spring they’ll find him face down in the garage – the last match clutched in nerveless fingers. Hand rubbed Spar varnish proving invulnerable to wooden matches – and the snapped remnants of Powell, Phillip’s, and Raine forming an impotent pile of debris amidst a scene from Doctor Zhivago.

Say hello to my little friend, back from the Dead …

Little_Stinking_Flow

What was dry and lifeless is now five feet of roaring filth; tree trunks, rusting cars, and the the unsteady press of a couple hundred tons of upstream gravel headed my way.

From 38 CFS to 7200, washing away the wrongdoings of last season, replenishing the carcasses and goat skeletons at the high water mark – and unearthing my favorite rusting Audi in gunfire black …

Tags: California drought, Little Stinking, Tamanawis, Roughfisher.com, Trout Underground, snapped bamboo rods, Doctor Zhivago, Audi

Nothing like having a chalkstream in your backyard

The ringtone belonged to “Deep Walnut”, the Yolo county landowner I’d turned to the side of righteousness. The pleasantries were brief, and I was informed that the annual “crop report” outlining the sins of watery tomatoes had been secreted on the grounds of my residence.

Sure it’s a touch over the top, but in a smallish town when it’s raining – what else is there to do.

Actually “Deep Walnut” is a double agent – as the document merely outlines the crap I waded through last season, and how far over the state approved environmental standards the pollutants have climbed.

I figure his handlers are slapping each other heartily knowing no sane person would wade through known carcinogens and medical waste – but sanity has never been a strong suit, so I just hand the list to the physician while he readies an armada of large gauge needles with which to violate my posterior.

… and yes, this report was an eye opener. Outlining enough naturally occurring Boron that I’d consider wedging a mandrel in the substrate just to see if I’d have a functioning six weight after a sustained downpour.

… a steady rise in the salinity of the water, as well as a pH of 9.0 – both exceeding state guidelines. It’s a comfort that with all the decline in quality waters that I’ve got a chalkstream being deposited on my doorstep, which should recoup last year’s 50% decline in home value.

Unfortunately most of the wells near my house have been closed due to nitrate contamination. Both Woodland and Davis get much of their drinking water from groundwater, and at least four (those near my house) have already been closed.

… so I’m looking to close escrow with a fly fisherman. Civilians will not appreciate the view from my veranda, nor those contaminated sparkling waters anytime this century, and most of the next.

I’d petition to rename the street “Love Canal” but most of the water managers are too young to get the joke …

I suppose the biologists took one look at the local creek and skipped over the mayflies and stoneflies, choosing Cerodaphnia Dubia (water fleas) to measure toxicity.

Didn’t help, they died screaming …

But the good news has to be the toxic algae bloom and the increase in eColi found. Proof that the local creek is capable of hosting a diverse ecosystem containing predators and killer bio-toxins.

… and with all the microscopic nasty entering the food chain, and slurped gleefully by the young-of-the-year fry, the fish should be virile, aggressive and subdued with nothing less than a single-jack.

… and all it’ll take to realize this angling paradise, this lone speck of quality amidst the dust bowl of the Central Valley? Just add water.

Tags: Brownlining, Little Stinking, Deep Walnut, Yolo County Farm Bureau, cerodaphnia dubia, ecoli, boron, selenium, fly fishing, Woodland, Davis, groundwater contamination

Now you can do the honorable thing, forget it in your car

Something I missed from earlier this year. For 2010, the Department of Fish & Game no longer requires California anglers to have their fishing license in plain sight.

Initially it was a good idea, but the advent of licenses purchased over the Internet and printed by home computer eliminated the brightly colored paper – which allowed them to verify ownership from a distance.

Once again you can put your license in your wallet, leave that in the car, then do the “panic slap” of your pockets while the warden starts writing your ticket…

Tags: California license regulations, Department of Fish & Game, changes for 2010