Category Archives: current events

Fly fishing responsible for the decline in our collective morals

splitshot Last week’s announcement of the First National Fly Fishing competition sponsored by Marshall University just didn’t sit right with me. I may favor competition and most of you don’t, I was fixating on the larger issue – and couldn’t help wonder whether this may be the root cause of those shady hedge fund managers we’ve been cursing the last couple of years…

School spirit is one thing, but the first lesson an angler learns is never guarantee anything. If you were successful yesterday at the same spot, don’t breathe a word for fear of jinxing today’s trip.

Hall is confident of a victory for the Marshall team, which will display Marshall logos on a banner and their fly fishing apparel throughout the tournament. “My partner has the secret fly to win the tournament,” Hall said, laughing.

Noob.

A nurse, a burnout guide, and a television host as former alumni, giving all those impressionable youngsters a taste of what’s in store once they pay off an insurmountable debt burden. Role models should be a couple of golf pro’s and a Vice President or two – not the fellow chatting up Ms. Maraschino about an E-ticket ride to the Bold & the Beautiful.

Is this the root of all our recent evils?

When I hear some fellow guaranteeing to win one for the Gipper – replete with school banner and alumnus film crew, I keep thinking I’ll see split shot roll out of something’s gullet – or worse.

Is this the classic Seduction of the Innocent, where well groomed youngsters watch attentively while a couple of over-the-hill professors bend the rules a bit (strictly for recruitment purposes), brush the telltale BB shot off the scales while the glee club leads the group in another cheer, the result another class of hedge fund managers intent on gutting sheep?

“This is about bringing exposure to Marshall University …  My partner and I will do our best to represent Marshall University and everyone associated with it. I personally can’t wait to get started.”

No mention of whether it’s catch and release, or whether anyone will pause to admire Momma Nature at all, it may be the laboratory segment of BloodSport 101, so you’ve got the jargon to network with the Cheese at Goldman Sachs.

… then again, it could be completely legitimate – and Marshall is another of a long line of “party” schools, where your offspring suddenly develop a bent for animal husbandry of the human kind and learn to grow hops.

“We want to let people know that they can get a great education at Marshall University and enjoy some great fly fishing just a few hours away,” Hall said.

… and if I’m late to class and endure the stony silence of the economics professor, will my stuttered claim of “sudden emergence of March Browns” grant leniency? Fly fishing is “in for a penny, in for a pound” and a national endorsement should carry some long term commitment.

Fly fishermen aren’t the best role models – what with dissembling, the outright lies, and withholding of pertinent details, all the really important skills necessary to deflect a group of angry senators and their righteous populist inquiry.

Tags: Marshall University, fly fishing competition, hedge fund managers, seduction of the innocent, BB shot, blood sport, fly fishing humor

A bit more diversity than they’re comfortable with …

Brownliner Disneyland It’s one of those stories that’ll make the biology community grind their teeth in frustration, but it may be a light line paradise for the agile brownliner, whose only concern is turning a Sow’s ear into a silk purse, and can ignore the tears of infants …

Everything from Piranha to Gar are being carefully released by pet owners into the Tama River near Tokyo, and are surviving Winter’s chill compliments of the warm water given off by wastewater treatment plants in the area.

Fish that have outgrown that little starter aquarium, become too difficult to handle, or due to the economy – owners have been uprooted to distant locales, and their exotic fish released into the creek to fend for themselves.

Over 200 species have been collected so far, yielding an ecosystem so diverse the locals are calling it the “Tamazon.”

For the brownline community this may be the equivalent of Disneyland, with every fish a potential IGFA record.

… then again, after a long battle the newly vanquished lays gasping in the landing net, comes a scream from the throng above:

“That’s Tinkerbelle, you put her back!”

Scientists agree that genetic diversity is the best way to build a sustainable wild population, I just don’t think they had Goldfish in mind.

… and while we’re on the subject of unlikely gifts to our sacred fishing waters,  my favorite is the discovery of a Vast Underwater Boneyard of Used Toilets off California’s pricey Marina Del Ray.

Authorities are wondering who would take the trouble to dispose of hundreds of toilets into the briny depths, while diving enthusiasts claim the authorities done it years ago, and now it’s the secret  “honey pot” of spearfishing.

Even the most crazed fly fisherman would blanch at the prospect of eating something that’s spent its formative years in the downstream surge of a toilet.

Tags: Tamazon, exotic aquarium fish, invasive species, fly fishing for Oscars, brownlining,

Decontaminating your waders will take more than 409

Eleven feet of fly eating awesomeness It’s one very poor argument for nuclear power. While biologists pump steroids into trout eggs to boost muscle mass, it might be simpler just to use the hatchery pond as the coolant for a small nuclear reactor …

Some five years ago the Russian nuclear attack submarine Komsomolets sank in the Norwegian Sea. The event caused consternation in the Soviet Navy, high interest in NATO maritime and intelligence circles, and apprehension among environmentalists. This concern arose particularly in Norway, for the submarine’s broken hull holds two nuclear reactors and at least two torpedoes with nuclear warheads containing plutonium, one of the most toxic substances known to man. Since the sinking, Russian authorities have elicited to an unprecedented degree scientific assistance from other countries and used remote sensors and minisubmersibles to find Komsomolets, measure radiation leakage, and assess the stability of the wreck.

– via the Central Intelligence Agency

Recently some Norwegian fellow spies an 11 foot long herring off his coast, which is a smidge over the traditional size – and likely to trigger a storm of protest from the fly fishing purists …

… mostly because it was already dead, he landed it by hand, and none of us can decide whether that’s dry or wet…

Tags: Komsomolets maritime disaster, oarfish, plutonium enhanced biological yummy

Yet another pseudonym for our favorite invasive

Once the Madison Ave boys kick the campaign into high gear we’ll all be lining up for “Kentucky Tuna.” They’ll have to pull the White Lightning from school lunches, but what child doesn’t gaze adoringly at his Momma when offered a Tuna sand …

The pearly white flesh – complicated by a series of bones – is described as tasting like a cross between scallops and crabmeat by New Orleans chefs working on possible recipes. 

Granny says you can eat it

It’s our old pal the Asian Carp, canned to soften the bones, dipped in sour mash, relish, and mayo, and regurged onto innocent yet fortified Wonderbread.

“We’re trying to break that mindset, because a lot of people are prejudiced against the name ‘carp,’” said Sid Dasgupta, associate professor and principal investigator in the Division of Aquaculture and Environmental Sciences at KSU.

“This fish is not bad at all – it’s excellent.”

Us anglers are the root cause of all that slander, heaping scorn on anything with an inferior mouth or feelers. Innocent civilians are largely unawares of fish feeding habits and lifestyles until they join the throng heaving sandwich slices at the appreciative Golden Horde.

It’s for the same reason dog has fallen from fashion as restaurant fare, you know what it eats – and what it licks afterwards …

They experimented with the catch, smoking filets, canning the fish to soften the bones, and grinding it into fish cakes, croquets and salad.

True validation, and you know it’s coming, is when McDonald’s replaces the Fillet O’ Fish with our Asian interloper – until then all the blind taste tests and Cajun chefs are blowing hot air.

Yessir, no Dolphins were bycatch from our nets, but the sandwiches do jump around some when a Semi goes by …

Tags: Asian Carp, Fillet O’ Fish, Madison Ave spin, Cajun chef, the Wonderbread Hatch

Why your biggest Shad comes early in the season

It’s the fish you think of on slow days and rekindles flagging interest. It’s the fish that makes up for fussy trout and flies smaller than #20, it’s salve for a season of sunburn and mosquito bites, cures hangovers, and for a couple of too-short months allows us to focus on important fishing principles like spite and revenge.

It’s Alosa sapidissima, the American Shad – and while you may have fished for them hundreds of times, I guarantee you know less about their habits, food preferences, and history – than any of the other gamefish you chase regular.

Why? Simple, it’s a glutton for bright and shiny, shows little selectivity and is available in enormous numbers – so you’ve never had to wrinkle a brow or crack a book to be successful.

I’m the first to admit guilt, having asked the questions of those more experienced – and assumed they spoke gospel. Now with millions of the Silver Horde ascending my rivers, and with the next couple of months devoted to their complete and utter exploitation, I’ve no excuse not to learn more …

“Know thy enemy and know thy self and you will win a hundred battles.”

Much of the research on American Shad are from their native Eastern drainages, and it’s a story that doesn’t match well with what’s been relayed in idle banter on the river bank.

East Coast Shad are distributed as far south as North Carolina, yet multiple genetic strains are responsible. They are an anadromous fish, but in their southern range and warmer water – are like our Pacific salmon, spawning once before dying.

Colder water allows the fish to make the multiple migrations like the steelhead trout, with an average lifespan of about a decade. How long they can survive in the river is dependant on the sex and size of the fish when it enters fresh water, and measuring your local fish can assist in determining how long they’ll be present – and in a condition to eat your fly.

A rough calculation follows (length in mm):

Therefore, the average daily loss in somatic weight of
males was 1.63 g at 359 mm, 9.37 g at 493 mm,
and 5.75 g for mean-sized males of 428 mm. For
females the average daily loss in somatic weight
was 5.75 g at 421 mm, 18.87 g at 531 mm, and
12.47 g for mean-sized females of 477 mm.
Daily weight loss can be used to suggest how
long fish of different sizes can remain in freshwater
before death. The amount of weight loss which
results in death of shad is not known, but death
occurs in many animals when weight loss exceeds
40% (Curtis 1949).

If death occurs at 40% weight loss and it becomes morose and lethargic at about 30%, then a 359mm male (14”) that weighs about a pound, will not be interested in flies in about 82 days. Females lose weight even faster, so if you’re looking for the biggest fish you’ll need to fish almost as soon as they arrive.

… and you thought Science was for eggheads.

Shad feed in fresh water, but as plankton is less available they’ll opportunistically feed on aquatic insects, baitfish, shad eggs, and terrestrials.

Stomachs of fish collected upstream
from Port Jervis, N.Y. (295) in late May and June
frequently contained a few insects. I observed a
large mayfly hatch in late May 1964 near Hancock:
hundreds of adult shad were rising to the
surface, apparently to feed, and the stomachs of
many fish (about 50) captured by angling were
packed with mayflies. Similar surface feeding behavior
was observed on several other occasions,
although fish were not collected to confirm feeding.
Many adults captured during the Tri-State
Surveys contained recently eaten young shad and
shield darters, Percina peltata.

– from Weight loss, Mortality, Feeding, and Duration of Residence of Adult American Shad, Alosa Sapidissma, in Fresh Water – Mark E. Chittenden Jr.

Sacramento_Shad_stomach

The California Fish & Game department has confirmed Shad feeding in the Sacramento delta, and the results of their trawls of the Sacramento River and Delta are shown above.

A Mycid Shrimp

Which suggests there may be a couple of dozen other flies we haven’t considered – and the above lends a little credence to the red/white shad darts that have been effective for decades. Feeding habits are ruled by opportunistic prey and local conditions, and much science cites the link between small shad and terrestrial insects, and in many cases their stomach contents were disproportionately (greater than 20%) comprised of terrestrials.

Most migratory movement within a river system occurs between 9AM and 2PM, with numerous studies describing increased activity during daylight hours – and spawning commencing with dusk:

Females release their eggs close to the water surface to be fertilized by one or several males. Diel patterns of egg release depend upon water turbidity and light intensity. In clear open water, eggs are released and fertilized after sunset (Leim 1924; Whitney 1961), with peak spawning around midnight (Massmann 1952; Miller et al. 1971; 1975). In turbid waters (or on overcast days; Miller et al. 1982), eggs are released and fertilized during the day.

As my beloved American River is choked with spawning Striped Bass at nearly the same time, it’s important to note the tender regard for Shad held by the larger predatory bass:

A recent study strongly supports the hypothesis that striped bass predation on adult American shad in the Connecticut
River has resulted in a dramatic and unexpected decline in American shad abundance since 1992 (Savoy and Crecco 2004). Researchers further suggest that striped bass prey primarily on spawning adults because their predator avoidance capability may be compromised at that time, due to a strong drive to spawn during upstream migration.

– via American Shad, Chapter 2

shad_Nutrition American Shad also hold an esteemed standing in American history, largely because of their role in feeding Washington’s army at Valley Forge. Alosa sapidissima is translated as “Very Delicious” and a starving patriot could ignore all those small bones as it chewed better than frozen boot sole …

The 2010 version has a few percentage points in Nitrosamines and PCB’s but the gastronomic benefits speak for themselves. Oily fat calories capable of sustaining a nation on the verge of independence.

Fast food has since become the 51st star on Old Glory, and it’s Pizza Hut that nourishes most of Afghanistan and Iraq.

For the rest of us gourmands it’s the Indian legend that holds more weight than precious Omega-3 fatty acids:

Shad are richly flavored thanks to a good bit of omega-3 laden fat, but they are among the boniest fish in the world. An old Indian saying has it that a porcupine fled into the water and was turned inside out to become the shad. It is not far off.

Tags: American Shad, Tsung Tzu, Alosa Sapidissima, shad feeding in freshwater, American River, Omega-3 fatty acid, Mycid shrimp, fly fishing for shad, fly fishing blog

Hedge Fund Managers and Wealthy Lodge Owners

Gold Mining The reason the Pebble Mine gets all the vitriol and press? Simple, all those wealthy lodge owners, salmon fishermen, and hedge fund managers have ties to the Powers that Be …

A compelling story in the Alaska Dispatch suggests the Donlin Mine is even bigger, a planned 2 mile wide, 1 mile long open pit mine that will uproot a couple hundred miles of the famed Iditarod trail, host toxic tailings near the banks of the longest undammed river in North America, and add a massive power plant as part of the construction – all of which is proceeding with little notice and much less resistance.

Donlin has attracted little attention, said Pam Miller, executive director of Alaska Community Action on Toxins, because “unlike Pebble, there aren’t the wealthy lodge owners. There’s just poor subsistence residents.”

Wealthy lodge owners might be the ultimate in NIMBY opposition to backyard development. They are extremely well connected, given their clients tend toward well-off businessmen and the idle rich. These are the kind of people with the connections that enable them to get major jewelry retailers to make public-relations claims they will never use Pebble gold in their products, even if it’s hard to trace any gold used for jewelry back to its original source.

Take this power block, couple it with downstream commercial fishermen who hold valuable Alaska limited entry fishing permits for Bristol Bay salmon and a millionaire neighbor running an investment fund worth billions, and you have a power bloc that can make life hell for any sort of development.

– via the Alaska Dispatch

By contrast the Donlin Mine is on native lands, in a historical mining district, and the locals are eager for the employment potential and power infrastructure that the mine provides.

Protests have been muzzled as it’s seen as anti-Native American.

Towing barges of fuel oil up the river sounds decidedly anti-salmon, but we’re the “bleeding hearts of the lower 48”, and we’re expected to say that.

I’m not privy to the full facts of the case, but the Dispatch article is a compelling read. It’s a contentious subject to be sure, but the “wealthy lodge owner” angle is new – and may partly explain why Pebble has enjoyed such extensive coverage and become a cause celebre’.

Tags: Donlin Project, Alaska Dispatch, Pebble Mine, wealthy lodge owners, evil fly fishermen, NovaGold

A 20 inch fish on a 17 shank merits an Asterisk

No Soup For You! I’m a self confessed collector of hooks and a complete snob. Not that they have to be gilt plated or come from some distant clime, I just need them to be as versatile as screwdrivers and socket wrenches, lots of sizes and similar shapes, but there should be one perfectly suited for the task.

I’m a bit of an omnivore where fish are concerned; flirting with one species them the other, and require a larger selection than the average tier. Not merely sizes, it’s the attributes of the hook that I covet most.

I’m the guy that fishes a #12 for Carp – and have landed them on #16’s, but it’s not a testament of skill so much as using the proper hook for that scale of quarry.

Trying to find an Extra Strong (XS or X-Heavy) or 2XS in trout sizes has been increasingly difficult, despite Mustad’s claim that a S82-3906B is 3X Heavy, it’s not. Now that many of the smaller vendors have been assimilated by the hook-making Borg, I’m dipping into strange bends and stranger points hoping to find replacements for the plethora of styles now vanished. It’s the same for Extra Short, or Nickel plated, and what few new styles crack the fly shop lineup have all been Czech-related or similar specialty.

You’ve endured my high pitched whine in numerous threads…

I’m a snob because I prefer the Redditch hook scale and the size of gapes and shanks that are common to that standard. As Mustad was the fly tying standard for so many years, new companies from China, Korea, and Japan, had to clone their best selling hooks to compete.

Mustad 94840 Our old favorites, the 94840 (R50-94840 – Dry) and 3906B (S82-3906B – Nymph, Wet) were actually extra long shanked – and used to say as much on the label. Now with the economy packaging and terse descriptions – the 94840 is listed as “standard length” and most tiers are unaware that their #18’s and #16’s share a nearly identical shank length.

Mustad 3906BHook makers from Japan have upset Mustad’s domination of the fly hook market, but in doing so they copied the Mustad hooks and preserved the Mustad measurements of gape and shank length, and propagated the differences to Tiemco, Daiichi, Dai-Riki, and all the rest.

… and the differences are readily apparent, as all the hooks below size 16 are disproportionally long shanked.

Slowly we’re sliding back into the Good Old Days, where multiple standards compete and different vendors perpetuate adherence to one or the other, confusing nearly everyone to the point of having to peer at the hook before purchasing.

16 versus 18, TMC

Which was part of the reason for my excitement when I spied a trove of hooks last week, most were old enough to pre-date the drift off-standard that occurred during the Great Shank Expansion of the 70’s.

… and why I leaped in with both feet.

Now that I’ve restocked all the important sizes and styles (paying just over a dollar a box, complements of eBay), and I’m rolling in them like Scrooge McDuck, and differences between the vintages  is quite noticeable.

Considering how far our standard shank has lengthened (above), and realizing that the proportions we teach in fly tying classes and books are all based on the Redditch standard, the dry fly especially is undergoing an evolution.

Extra shank means a longer body, usually fur, and that extra iron are both adding to the weight of the finished fly. Classic books from the turn of the Century describe the (optimal, and yes, fanciful) dry fly riding on the points of the hackle and barbs of the tail – with the hook merely grazing the surface. With the additional length of shank and adherence to proportions, that’s no longer possible even when dry.

… and if Theodore Gordon was in charge of the “20 – 20” club membership, a twenty inch fish taken on a #20 or smaller hook, he’d have them liveried servants toss you out the place.

Those that have learned the craft since the 80’s are going to feel cramped and frustrated. The above photo of the #16’s shows just how much extra real estate you’ve taken for granted.

… and for those learning to tie, consider that age of the book you’re learning from – is that glossy plate from the 40’s or 50’s, and is that the reason your fly looks different or it’s attitude on the table is not the same as yours?

With the disparity in shank length, it’s possible we’re headed into another unsettling period where factions of vendors align themselves into pseudo-standards, with the forums ablaze with opinion.

A good description of the early days of the Fly Hook Wars is available on the fly fishing history site. It’s an interesting read for those afflicted and explains much of what you’ve already encountered and what may result.

Tags: Aberdeen, O’Shaughnessy, Kirby, Kendall, Redditch Standard, O. Mustad & Sons, Tiemco hooks, Dai-Riki hooks, 20-20 club, Theodore Gordon, fly tying materials, fly tying hooks, hook evolution

Unsuccessful because they were hard to catch

hatchery Like most anglers I knew little about hatchery fish other than their sporting qualities. After reading Anders Halvorsen’s book on the history of the hatcheries and the rise of the rainbow trout, I realize that much of the eye-opening information cited has always been there – only buried diligently in those sections of the paper we didn’t read.

How the focus of the hatchery business morphed into happy anglers carting home limits of  fish, and the antiquated notion of species introduction, re-introduction, and sustainability,  was jettisoned in the transition. More troublesome was the notion that despite the best efforts of biologists, planted fish had introduced many diseases into the watershed – and resident fish had to compete with the interlopers as well as survive their lethal payload.

Some poor fellow asked my Fish & Game department about the decline of Lake Oroville, and the polite response includes a familiar litany of sins …

The brown trout program was considered unsuccessful because they were hard to catch and so the return to creel was too low to justify continuing the program.

The first coho program began in the 1980s as a net pen operation in Lake Oroville. It was discovered that when fish were grown to larger sizes to meet angler expectations, they developed a bacterial disease that infected their kidneys. To protect other fishery resources, DFG ordered these fish destroyed.

The coldwater fishery program for the lake was then changed to inland Chinook (king salmon) that were planted in the 1990s.This provided a good fishery for several years. Then in 1998 and 2000, Chinook salmon at Feather River Hatchery (which receives lake water) started getting infected with the infectious haematopoietic necrosis (IHN) virus, which killed up to a quarter of the Chinook salmon smolts DFG raised. Also in 2000, the entire inland Chinook program for Lake Oroville became diseased with IHN and had to be destroyed. After much research, it was determined that the virus was being sustained and multiplied by the large numbers of salmon in the lake. The virus probably originated at a very low level in the river that flowed into the lake (created by the Oroville Dam built in 1968) but had been kept undetectable by the lack of good hosts. The disease has always been found in fish below the dam and in returning salmon adults every year.

After more research to determine which fish would not be good hosts for the virus, coho were again planted, but this time, in an effort to avoid the bacterial kidney disease problem, they were raised at the hatchery annex on well water instead of in net pens in the lake.

– via the Los Angeles Times

Take the current mentality a couple decades into the future and they’ll be introducing fish that breathe air – so they pop up at intervals and you can shoot them …

… that way you can just cut around the holes and make the piscatorial equivalent of a Double Down, yet imbued with precious Omega-3’s and cordite.

But wait, there’s more …

Auditors in Washington state have completed a review of the Chinook program in the Puget sound, and concluded that each salmon landed costs the state $768 (excluding the costs of your tackle and bait).

Each year the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife produces hundreds of thousands of the juvenile salmon in hatcheries, then raises them for 14 months or more in ponds until they lose the instinct to migrate. Then the fish are released for fishermen to hook for sport.

But some of the same environmental conditions that helped push wild chinook onto the Endangered Species list – such as pollution and habitat loss from development – mean few of the young blackmouth live long enough to get snagged. And the many fishing restrictions imposed in response to the 1999 listing of wild chinook also scaled back chances for anglers to try to catch the hatchery chinook.

That means catch rates for blackmouth are such a fraction of what they once were that the state may produce 900 fish for every one an angler nets. And each of those 900 fish costs about 85 cents.

– via the Olympian

But not to worry, the program is paid for by license dollars, and therefore not a black eye to any current or future administration …

We march dutifully up to the counter each year in the hope the $37 helps fish somehow – and the sordid details emerge later. My contribution to the state’s inland fisheries was $12 diverted to the creation of a red licorice factory on a reclaimed military reservation – owned by someone I wouldn’t like instinctively, $3 went to repaying the Governor’s election debt, and the remaining $25 bought the “pucker” on a Chinook…

… I always thought it was a big bucket of fry that I paid for – hurled into a creek by a good natured fellow who whistled and waved at the departing fish before filling the bucket with the next guy’s contribution …

Tags: Anders Halvorsen, Lake Oroville, hatchery fish, Washington state auditors, chinook salmon, Puget Sound, fish disease

He didn’t pay attention to the limit either

The limit was five, ten in possession Here I think I’ve got it bad – a two year ban on salmon fishing and me and my fellows either gashing ourselves over too much water or too little, and now they’ve banned fishing on the Sea of Galilee …

… makes you wonder whether that magistrate or agency middle manager wasn’t feeling the heat of a thunderbolt when he put that pen to paper.

So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. 8 When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” 9 For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10 and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.”

As the above passage suggests, given a little wiggle room, anglers have exploited fisheries since ancient times. Little doubt that all of Pontius Pilate’s regulations were ignored – who wouldn’t throw caution to the wind when the fellow yanking on the net next to you could walk on water?

As TC is wont to say, a sure sign of the coming apocalypse …

Tags: Sea of Galilee, fishing pressure, fishery closure, Jesus, Simon, walk on water, Troutunderground.com

Take our turn in the docket

I molest underage fish all the time There’s nothing new here. Rich American tourists jetted to exotic third world locale, wined and dined – with native labor herding game towards his lawn chair, iced drink, and high powered rifle.

Well heeled angling is just as comfortable. Remote lodges, private beats, and cold drinks on tap, a rich landscape for the tour company operator intent on catering to every whim – including illicit and titillating.

Now it’s our turn in the docket, with ABC News claiming all us portly monied types are intent on the porn – and it isn’t the fishing kind.

“It will start off with six [young women], then it will be twelve, and then it’ll be eighteen and then you guys will be just retreating. I’m serious.”

Society has always thought the rod and gun crowd had some deep dark secrets, apparently they’ve decided we’re into underage teens – having run out of teachers, swim coaches, and catholic priests to expose.

Another operator told the reporters that he would “make it happen,” when they asked about procuring underage girls for the trip. He said there was an unspoken code on these sorts of tours that no one messes with. The code, apparently, of exploitation.

There’s nothing new here. Some of the Brethren are so afflicted, they’re indistinguishable from the rest of the sweaty crowd at the TU banquet, they backslap heartily and laugh at all the same jokes.

The rest of us are snoring uncomfortably from the darkened bungalows, wishing the guys in #13 would turn the stereo down. After shelling out multiple thousands to visit Patagonia, Venezuela, or someplace with fish more plentiful than home, I’m all for bending a law or two …

… but most are physical laws, like how I can will my sore arm to be twenty again – so I can make just one more cast, or how I can make the mosquito netting an impenetrable fortress with my dwindling supply of Bug Off.

Sure, we’ve got our share of child molesters – no more nor less than any other sporting fraternity or fraternal organization, but the balance of us crossed a couple of time zones to avoid kids and wife – and enjoy that unspoiled pristine.

Tags: Dallas Safari Club, child exploitation, underage teens, fish porn, ABC News, nothing new here, Patagonia, twitchy gun owners