Category Archives: commentary

I’ll stop tying flies if I could get a federal subsidy

recipients of federal farming subsidies in San Francisco Cooperation the key to financial reward? Makes sense for any other industry other than fishing, as getting two fishermen to agree on anything is an exercise in futility.

Nevertheless, the Science journal has published research from Australia that suggests a cooperative system can increase the financial reward and lessen pressure on troubled fisheries.

“We believe these results will help persuade fishers that it is in their interests to take the long-term view — that by reducing their catch now they will more than make up any temporary financial losses with increased profits in the future,” he said.”

In typical fashion, a follow on article written for the Joplin Globe suggests a system akin to student loans, whereby the fishermen could be paid during “rebuilding” years, and the loans repaid once the fishery was reestablished.

To overcome opposition from fishermen, loans could be taken out to pay them for not fishing as the stocks rebuild. The loans would be repaid by the fishermen when the fish were abundant, said Grafton.

I think I’ll take the dim view on this one, as soon as the fishery is closed you buy some rotting hulk in drydock, get your commercial skipper, and slurp federal dollars. In the meantime, you can fish commercially for species that are viable and profitable, or just lounge around after leasing your boat to the Starkist folks, who’ll gladly handle the paperwork and federal stipend.

I’ll admit I don’t have the answer, but the subsidy angle has been abused so often in the past, I’m leery of it’s application to fisheries.

Technorati Tags: , , ,

Methinks immigration is a bigger issue than Republicans are willing to let on

Sandhill CraneThe debate continues about Global Warming, whether it’s a gradual warming of the Earth’s crust due to natural cyclic reasons, or whether cow farts and muscle cars are the root of all evil.

Like most of you, i’ll let the intelligentsia debate the issue, and when someone has a plan to fix it, we’ll do our share.

Of the many issues of interest, one with vast implications for both anglers and the rest of society is how the historic ranges of many species are expanding. Species move from the historic zones to new cooler areas trying to keep ahead of the temperature.

Maybe them “Africanized” killer bee’s and South American Fire Ants is smarter than we thought, as they may be the tip of the iceberg of a larger migration of everything northward.

As temperatures rise, animals are seeking cooler climes. In a study of more than 1,500 species, University of Texas biologist Camille Parmesan concluded that 40 percent had shifted their ranges, mostly toward the poles.

A dozen bird species have moved about 12 miles north in Britain, and 39 species of butterflies have shifted north by as much as 125 miles in Europe and North America, according to another study that Parmesan took part in.

Millions of Mediterranean jellyfish have turned up off Northern Ireland and Scotland. The Humboldt squid, which can grow up to 7 feet long, has moved up the California coast as ocean waters warmed.

“It’s the latest in a long series of bad news for fishermen,” said Stanford University’s Lou Zeidberg, adding that squid have been found as far north as Alaska in the past five years.

With warmer weather, 60 percent of plant and animal species are migrating, breeding and blooming earlier in the spring, Parmesan said. But not all are, and that could upset relationships between birds and the insects they feed on as well as insects and the flowers they pollinate.

I guess the “Good News” is that there aren’t many species that eat humans south of us, but if there were – they’ll be headed this way shortly… present company excluded, as most of the residents in Oregon and Washington insist that Californians eat their young…

We can expect a similar migration in our waterways. Having fished a number of “El Nino” seasons – I can vouch for the odd assortment of southern fish that showed up on my hook.

Scientists suggest that fast breeding species can adapt to climate change, slower species cannot. I assume the implication is, “if it lives 80 years and breeds once per annum, it has no chance…”

In the immortal words of John McClane, ” Welcome to the party, pal.”

Technorati Tags: , , ,

I can’t seem to shake the lyrics from "Georgia on my mind" – wonder why?

Yes, it’s a hauntingly beautiful song that does Ray Charles homage, but I was thinking more the drought angle, if you think the Georgia-Florida-Alabama spat over water was interesting, California may eclipse it fairly quickly.

For the last month we’ve watched thousands of Southern California mansions vanish in a puff of smoke; these are the same folks whose taps will be running dry based on the below:

On Monday, the state Department of Water Resources told the water agencies that serve two-thirds of Californians that they can expect just 25 percent of their normal allocations next year, down from 60 percent this year. Several cities in Southern California have declared water emergencies. The fire danger remains high, as this week’s Malibu fire underscores. Within a few days, a judge’s order that curtails water deliveries to the San Joaquin Valley and Southern California from the Sacramento-San Joaquin Delta to save endangered fish will take effect.

A lot of wealthy, media savvy citizens will be hit with a double dilemma, not enough to drink, and what little that’s left may be needed to douse the flames of next summer. We can expect significant coverage, as these are the moguls of Hollywood, with ready access to actors and the media.

It’s not unexpected, most of Southern California is reclaimed desert, and the cost of maintaining all those swimming pools and acres of lush lawn is about to come due.

Northern California is sparsely populated in comparison, so whatever SoCal wants, SoCal gets – it’s not even close. Naturally the “Governator” will respond promptly, but dams takes years to build, as do Peripheral Canals. I’ll expect many billions in hasty legislation this year, accompanied by little planning and even less environmental impact studies.

Remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint…hang in there.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Thls_tMuFkc[/youtube]

Technorati Tags: , ,

The Big Payoff, it’s not fame nor money, but it’s also not "shorts and tee shirts" neither

mom I love genius when I see it, and as I see so little in my work I have to live vicariously through others. This time it’s the Daytripper blog as he surfaces the obligatory Christmas list to friends and family – not really a list, but it’s the one thing he could really use …you listening Daytripper Ma?

Christmas is coming whether we like it or not, and everyone’s Ma is arming themselves with the soap onna rope, shorts and tee shirts, cologne that smells like a service station bathroom, and all forms of fattening edibles that you’re obligated to like, no exception.

Friend Daytripper is smarter than the rest of us, as he’s announced to his family what he needs, and if it don’t show he’ll retain the moral high ground with, “..you mean you don’t read all the stuff I write?”  His Ma is doomed.

Not too late to start your own blog, save yourself while you still can…

Technorati Tags: , ,

Gourmet Streamside Cuisine: If Boiled Taters and Steak gets you emotional, then you live near the fish

chevronLike Tom Chandler I mourn those fabled fishing lunches , but if you have to drive more than two hours to fish, dining is like crapping, required, but kept at arm’s distance.

Hardened fishermen lack the servants and fine cutlery of TC’s Maine adventure , but as woodsmen and survivalists we always have a “three star” culinary pit stop close at hand, the Chevron Minimart.

One star is for gas, one is for restrooms, and the last is either the cuisine, or the freeway onramp, I’m never one to quibble…

California Cuisine, Nouveau Chevron

The entree, Jalapeno Beef Jerky. A piquant mix of searing flame with a hint of bovine.

Beef requires a full bodied “red” – and the overly warm Diet Dr. Pepper is a lifesaver, especially near the bottom of the jerky bag, when the Jalapeno stifles rational thought and the frantic reach for liquid is purely defensive.

A handful of blackberries from the thorn bush you fell in, matched with a partially trod upon banana completes the repast.

The Kashi Bar is to guarantee that once you’re cinched and buckled into the waders you can “cork” the entire gastro-intestinal tract, so there’s no need to tear the gear off as you bunny hop for the restroom.

Low Fat, Crustless Berry Pie

We spurn “Glam-pers” but recognize Berry Pie when we see it. The “No Fat, No Crust” kind, enough sugar to pull your way up the bank and realize you have no recognizable landmarks.

A fire and a follow on nap would be nice, but a road flare and damp waders will have to do.

Fly Tying begats legal spousal abuse

I am a dead manThere are times when I think fishermen are the only folks allowed to abuse their spouse systematically without fear of legal action.

This morning I approached my gal while she was finishing up the ironing of her work outfit. I gestured at the iron, “Is that hot?” She got that dreamy emotional look, the one that men recognize instinctively –  massive emotional points scored and your doghouse days are over.

Flustered and off balance, her voice rising in disbelief, “Yes, you need to iron your shirt?”

I produce a napkin wrapped object and quickly give it a couple of passes with the iron, “Naw, I just wanted to fuse some of these fibers to see whether they make spinner wings.”

I left her sobbing and broken, my crime was getting her hopes up and I am going to pay large tonight.

Flavored Head Cement Joins Other Really Good Ideas ahead of their time

Great Ideas are always resisted I was embroiled in the patent research for my salty-sweet lard enhanced head cement, and stumbled across numerous fly fishing patents.

A live bait hook for dry fly anglers is the first of many really stunning ideas, but it would be wise to know which bugs had stingers before reaching for that big wasp pictured in the patent illustration.

I can only assume a fly box patent is forthcoming from the same fellow, as traditional boxes would make winged critters very smashed.

Another “must have” is the fishing blow gun, slap a Pheasant tail into the breach and blow it into the feeding lane. Every fisherman I’ve met is a blowhard gifted with extraordinary lung capacity, I can’t see why this isn’t a million seller.

The float tube urinal is way overdue, but I was hoping we would get NASA astronaut underwear, I hear they don’t chafe much. Unrelated to the urinal is the float tube propulsion system, featuring a large car battery attached to your leg. I sure hope that lanyard severs easily, otherwise you are anchored to the lake floor quite securely.

Moot testimony to angling genius – these gentlemen walked the path less traveled, and were driven from the sport by villagers with torches and pitchforks.

Technorati Tags: , ,

We considered offering a matchmaking service, but all we found is where they aren’t

Been poring over the statistical data for angling, hoping to answer some Singlebarbed Lonely Hearts Dating service questions. How come I haven’t posted more fetching bikini shots? Simple, I didn’t want to get your hopes up – we respect you too much…

WhereWomenAre

The important statistics first; you better like fried chicken and potatoes, because 70% of the female angling population lives in the South and Midwest.

For them as lives in the West and East, you have the remaining 30% to pick from. This is all women anglers – not merely the pretty ones…

Grandma might not be bikini material but blow her a kiss anyway’s, if catching is slow, it’ll still make her day.

Women anglers want dinner, none of this catch and release silliness,  they’re fishing to put food on the table; Halibut, Sole, Flounder, is preferred by 22% of women. It also could be that the price for flatfish is higher, proof that even though there is less of them, they are still smarter than us.

81% of the women surveyed are freshwater bound, 24% are saltwater anglers, 5% consider themselves both.

fisherwomen_species

Of the freshwater species, trout is last. More a reflection of locale than anything else, but it may also be easier to sunbathe from a black bass boat then sweat your way into the back country on foot.

For the Gold-digging Male Angler: only 11% of women anglers make an income of $50,000 or more, so you can forget about marrying into thousands of acres of prime trout stream, you’ve a better chance of financial liquidity by marrying her daddy. No statistics are available on inheritance prospects of women anglers, unfortunately.

Women age 16-34 go fishing 10 times a year, after age 34 they fish only 9 times a year. Women who have graduated college fish 7 times a year, they are smarter than us.

You Guys Are Swine Department: Women 45-54 spend more dollars on tackle than any other age group.  Oh, now that her looks are going, and she raised your kids – she has to buy her own rod? Men are pigs.

In summary, stick with your current spouse, lose the indignant at her requirement that you get your dirty shorts out of her sink, buy her a rod instead.

Technorati Tags: , ,

The Bikini > fishing

Ok, I had to learn the hard way. Sudden spike in readership based on my ability to turn the Phrase Lyrical, not. Increase in hits because of the natural comparison between my prose and Shakespeare, not.

I apparently touched on a nerve and have found my readership’s sweet spot. Unfortunately it has nothing to do with me.

That’s ok, I won’t take it personal – at least not until you turn your back…

I had to endure those silly motivational posters festooning the hallways for the better part of a decade. The resentment runs deep.

For those that inquired, the web site is Despair.com – the Do It Yourself (DIY) tab at the top allows you to provide a picture and caption for them as wants to roll your own.

What do you follow soft porn with? Profuse apologies…

Technorati Tags: , ,

The angler as Samaritan

Been in the cage too longHere is the final piece of the puzzle, we can muzzle the wife’s objections and defang PETA all at the same time.

Animal shelters are adopting “Catch and Release” regulations. More importantly, we have the moral responsibility to catch fish, it’s no longer good enough to simply like torturing them, now we need to…

“… If we put them in a cage and we don’t interact with them, we slowly drive them crazy.”

The meaning is clear, pour them silver hatchery fish in the creek, then hook snot out of them so they don’t get their feelings hurt. My God, I love science.

Technorati Tags: , , ,