Author Archives: KBarton10

With the aid of a leafy branch you could remove your footprints

Safe Angling Kit On the heels of safe sex comes “safe angling.” No condoms here as you’re already sheathed in rubber …

It’s toxin-free angling with hook, line, and sinkers all biodegradable or pose a diminished hazard to ducks, geese, fish, small children, and pets. Kits comprised of circle hooks, lead-free sinkers, and protein enriched biodegradable rubber worms.

… which should probably be approved by the local fish and game officer:

FoodSource lures are molded protein, so not only do they catch more fish than plastic lures, they are biodegradable and digestible if a fish eats them. Plus, they are easier to keep than live bait.

… only because “molded protein” sounds like a grey area when fishing “artificial only” water.

Fly fishermen should be able to take the moral high ground, as outside of the Twinkie wrappers and water bottles we spew, most of our tackle already poses little threat.

We lack the studies to determine exactly when a blend of Polyester and nylon decays to the point of exposing a lead wire wrapped hook shank, but outside of the danger of hook ingestion – it sounds fairly sterile.

With the emphasis on rubber soled wading shoes there will be fewer of us – but the increase of shed vests, aluminum fly boxes, sunken shattered rods, and extra spools thrown by drowning fishermen will add some small toxicity, to be sure.

Tags: safe angling, recycledfish.org, lead free jigs, molded protein, biodegradable fishing tackle, fly fishing, rubber soled wading, Twinkie wrapper

Bears do it, but wolves do it better

I want to call him Wil E. Coyote – what with tiptoeing around a couple thousand pounds of hungry bear to snatch dinner …

Wil E. Wolf

There’s a slim chance you could train a black Labrador to do something similar. It would at least give the worthless flea-bit lump a chance to earn his keep in between bird outings.

Explaining how your “secret fly” was irresistible to migrating fish may cause you a momentary pang of guilt, but that would pass quickly.

… just make sure the Milkbone supply never runs out, he’d sell you out for a stomach rub …

Tags: Wolf catching salmon, black Labrador, Alaskan salmon, single and barbless,

Big on Yarn but even bigger on frugal

I see one of those “coat of many colors” yarns and I can’t dig the pocketbook out fast enough. The Good News is these mixed-color yarns are all the rage, the Bad News is fashion is capable of turning on its heel quicker than we can respond.

Furrari Mohair

I use a lot of mohair because it’s a cheap and plentiful “filler” for dubbing blends. Lots of sparkle and plenty of spike –  important qualities for big nymphs and steelhead flies, and especially Spey flies – which translate “scruffy” and long fibered into fly movement.

Detail view It’s the Poor Man’s Seal substitute, offering the same loft and spike yet absent the transparency and guilt associated with clubbed orphans.

This is Muench “Furrari” (France) and each skein is a blend of a dozen colors. It also boasts an extremely loose weave; two strands of black thread are the core, with a single strand of black spiraled around the mohair to keep it tight to the center threads.

It can be transformed into loose fur by yanking out the black threads and sliding the fibers off the center element. The mohair will collapse into loose fur that can be dubbed or added into something else.

Mohair Thread View The range of colors is the real bargain. Each color is about a foot long before transitioning to the next, plenty to wind a large fly body or yank off as a handful of dubbing.

If left intact the black threads offer the ability to wind it as a coarse, spiky yarn – with much of the black obscured by the trailing fibers. It’s perfect for the Jay Fair nymphs or anything else using mohair as a wound yarn.

It retails at nearly eight dollars a skein, but I got it off of eBay for five dollars. There’s quite a selection of colors offered by yarn stores selling their stock on eBay, most have priced it at six bucks per 80 meter skein.

Having a dozen colors in all the right Olives and Browns is a real boon for the frugal. It beats buying those three yard cards (x12) to realize the same color palette.

Colors shown below: Left (Purple, Green, Blue, Yellow) #4401, Center (Olive and Browns) #4407, Right (Grey, Brown, Claret,Green) #4401.

Furrari under incandescent light

The same colors shown under natural light. Makes a big difference.

Tags: Muench Furrari mohair, dubbing blend, filler for dubbing, eBay, J Fair Wiggletail, spey fly, combed fur, mohair, fly tying materials. mohair yarn

Just one economic uptick away from your Fish mobile

Some small segment of the readership gnashed teeth when the news broke of Hummer being sold to a Chinese company. Monstrous vehicles and the taming of wilderness go hand in hand with the fishing ethic ..

Most anglers assume that long hikes from the parking lot leave the hatchery fish and beer guzzlers a distant memory, and the ability to mash the forest flat while reclining in air conditioned splendor is the same thing, only less sweaty.

While the rest of the crowd promotes tents with solar panels, recycled water, butane stoves, and “Top 10” posts of natural occurring toilet paper substitutes – we know you better and won’t waste your time.

… you’re one economic uptick away from that Hummer, a couple thousand dollar fly rods to match, and if the new manufacturer offers the base model with tracks and bogey wheels – you’ll take that over milquetoast mud n’ snow’s any day. 

Dartz Armored with Whale Penis interior

While you’re at it you may want to think past the weekend expedition –and all those pine trees you mashed into the forest duff, how you laughed and made faces while the Warden emptied a couple of clips in your direction, as you rolled over his Jimmy like it was tinfoil …

It’s the Dartz armored. Mongolia was cool – but Camels have fleas and now you’re looking for something more serious…

Unfortunately you’re too late. The Eddie Bauer model had whale penis leather interior, they’ve dropped the lux package – due to the violent protest from Greenpeace and opted for something less painful to whales.

Nickname potential must’ve scared them off, especially with us less fortunate in the crosswalk fearful of the throaty rumble and pale skinned Dot Com wunderkind looking truculent behind tinted glass …

… another “Dick on Dick” comes to mind.

Tags: Dartz, armored SUV, fishing, whale penis leather interior, Fish mobile, far from the beaten path, glampers, carbon sensitive

A series of indignities that influence us even today

Bait fishing wasn’t so bad, especially after we discovered which of our dumb-assed buddies was really interested in fishing, and which were there just to break rods.

Lure fishing was better. We were suddenly agile – no longer rooted. Fishing became seduction versus sitting motionless hoping to be victimized. Fly fishing was better yet, we could tweak even more variables and influence the “eat, don’t eat” decision on levels beyond mere presentation and retrieve.

Yet fishing is a series of indignities, and as we mature both as individuals and fishermen we find elements better suited to our individual needs and unique rewards system. We don’t lose all of our past history, traces of each stage in our development linger and influence both our angling and personal tastes.

Some of my foibles can be traced back to my earliest angling efforts. Pautzke’s “Balls of Fire” and the discovery they were available in an ersatz cheddar-like flavor.

I was a purist even in those days, and carried my jug with its green and white lid in a battered tacklebox filled with snelled gold hooks and stained Kastmasters I’d pried off tree limbs during low water.

It could of been Skoal, Marlboro’s or any of the other brand conscious dalliances we discovered later, in my eyes it was purely a gelatinous killing machine, and my youthful naiveté hadn’t yet formed the Big Question; how salmon and trout would ever see each other in a landlocked impoundment.

That all changed with Watergate…

My predilection for fishing being well known, I was gifted a new green tacklebox containing much needed supplies. Perched in the lower section was the familiar Pautzke’s label, but the lid was white and the eggs were orange …

Trout?

Fishing was damn slow that day and I remember opening that jug gingerly … any fool knows that real salmon eggs are bright crimson, so bright that when you wipe your hands on blue jeans even Ma complains.

salmon? 

I mashed the first one expecting the same reaction as the crimson flavor, but the cheddar egg simply discolored a bit and turned into something you’d as soon not have clinging to extremities – much less step in …

It was the call of “angling science” that prompted the second one to get mashed between teeth, the fishing being slow, the lake being remote, and someone else forgetting their lunch and borrowing half of mine …

I’ve no stomach for caviar to this day, and frankly don’t give a damn what the Good Stuff costs, it’s goddamn bait.

Tags: Pautzke’s Balls of Fire, salmon eggs, caviar, sturgeon roe, trout roe, fish eggs, tastes like nasty,

It’s like mascara, color can enhance and detract

My first commercial order was for two dozen Adams. I was 16 at the time, and quality control was letting the glue dry and giving it a couple of half hearted tugs – followed by a rigorous review of proportions.

By the time I’d completed 24 flies that passed muster I’d actually tied about 60 – and suffering through 60 flies of the same size and pattern was pure torture to a fellow that tied something different everytime he sat down.

It would be the better part of a decade before I could face the Adams without cringing, which is why the Mosquito figured so prominently in my angling development.

Hackle tip wings were my undoing. Grizzly specifically, and the lessons learned on that first order apply to the many flies since. Thousands of patterns pair materials for wings, cheeks, or body components – and attention has to be paid to the coloration of the pair chosen, as their mottling and coloration can make a perfect fly look less so.

Color can visually deceive the eye into thinking your proportions are wrong.

A bad pair for an Adams wing

The above picture shows us a “bad pairing.” The hackles themselves are fine – their coloration is good, but using the above pair will make the fly’s left wing appear shorter than the right.

It’s the tips of the feather that cause the issue. The left feather is tipped in black, the right feather is tipped in white; using the two together will make the left wing appear shorter. Add in the hackle in front of the wings – a mixture of brown and grizzly that will bust up the barring of the wing segments and exaggerate the color difference further.

Proper pairing

Here’s another pairing that will eliminate this simple problem. This “right” feather was next to the other “righty” above, yet has a black tip. Note how the bars are matched exactly with the left feather. This pairing will yield an Adams where the colors don’t upset the balance.

Side View of the finished Adams

From the quarter view above, nothing really looks amiss. Wings are cocked and extend above the hackle, both look equal length, and proportions look solid.

Front view of the poor feather pairing

Here is where the problem displays itself nicely. The black tipped wing (right) vanishes leaving only the last white segment visible. The white tipped wing (left) is strident and obvious, making the left look much too short.

Color. Normally it’s your friend but occasionally it can diminish or enhance a feature and throw your nicely tied fly into a tizzy. It’s the last thing to check before wrenching those precious hackles off the hide.

Tags: Adams, dry fly wing, grizzly hackle, fly tying tips, dry fly proportion, Mosquito,

The skies parted, the gods smiled, and you …

Finally, you meet a Supermodel

Now what are you quibbling about? You get her name and number – and that of her legal counsel, guaranteed.

… you thought it was going to happen differently. Some sultry pose, and a husky voiced welcome from a sunny and secluded spot on the bank.

Nope. She was jacked into her IPod and stood up to remove her top, when you … crashed and burned.

Tags: Fishing Supermodel Fantasy, Fishing fairytale, optimistic anglers, IPod,

The next Great Fingernail Removal System

My lampooning of dry fly fishermen is well documented, so I thought I’d take my comeuppance like a Man…

I’ve got a half dozen experimental colors of “Dubbing X” made, about an ounce of each, all hand made at the cost of most of my fingernails, lots of swearing, and the skin of both forefingers…

Dubbing "X"

A medium gray (Adam’s), a Blue Wing Olive, Pale Morning Dun, Upper Sacramento Pink, and an Ocher. The above are the California colors for those insects and may not be correct for your local watershed.

An “accidental color” is one that occurs while learning an unfamiliar dye process, where you’ve written the material off thinking nothing good could come of it – didn’t write down the formula, so you can’t reliably make it again … and it turned out pretty darn good – which was a complete shock.

… and then you destroy both fingernails and flesh in a series of ill advised attempts to render it to base fur before finding some process that partially works.

I could use a little feedback on the next Great Dry Fly Dubbing, drop me a note and I’ll toss some in the mail.

This is only for dry fly use. The material floats without assistance (specific gravity less than 1), and is a micro-filament – or “Nano-dubbing” as OldTrout58 calls it.

… while supplies last – I’ll need time to regrow some fingernails before the next batch.

Tags: Dubbing X, dry fly dubbing, Blue Wing Olive, gray, Pale Morning Dun, fly tying materials, Upper Sacramento pink,

I’m not sure I have to rattle anything

Truer words were never spoken Dear Older Bro,

You’ve been quiet of late which means you’ve found the joke gift that will enrage me – while you scuttle behind the Christmas tree and Ma’s protective skirts – making funny faces over her shoulder, knowing I can’t take a swing at you ‘cause Ma would be disappointed and knock us both senseless.

I’ve got a couple of brain cells left – perhaps more’n you – and have already guessed what deviltry you’re up to ….

In your glee at finding the gift that settles scores for the Simm’s floatation vest I gave you last year … the one whose bladder was filled with QuikDri concrete powder – that you managed to wriggle free from before your oxygen ran out … which I can’t believe you’re still holding against me, as any Captain worth his salt goes down with his ship …

… might I remind you that this gift is only effective if I see it – not wear it. Don’t buy the extra-large in Black for me to wear – rather the medium in Pink is more appropriate. In this manner Sweetpea will immediately claim “it’s the height of fashion pajamas” and will parade herself around with message displayed prominently until it’s nearly threadbare.

As Ma might read this, which is likely as the “hit counter” now stands at “two” – I’ll save all them sincere emotions for when Ma ain’t looking…

Your vengeful adoring Younger Brother.

Tags: QuikDri cement, demotivators.com, Simm’s floatation vest, Christmas

The Mayfly that moves mountains

FireDownBelow I’m the doubting kind and figure insects had nothing to do with it.

The truth is the EPA was so afraid that Steven Seagal would portray another of their employees – by filming a sequel to his “one line of speech then look angry “ 1997 action epic, that they’re about to deny access to 3 Billion dollars worth of Coal.

The mayfly, so irresistible to trout that anglers use it for bait and model lures after it, may become Appalachia’s spotted owl. Efforts to save old-growth forests in the Pacific Northwest, where the owls nest, led to federal protection in 1990 that restricted logging.

Mountaintop mining produces millions of tons of crushed shale and sandstone dumped in valleys and streams. Rainwater flowing though the debris carries dissolved metals into waters below, a lethal stew for mayflies, the EPA says.

Southern California thwarted by Delta Smelt, and the savior of Virginia trout a lowly mayfly?

Does size matter?

It appears so. Humans growing unsightly tumors or expiring prematurely doesn’t appear to concern our respective legislatures – we’re big enough to move if we don’t like it. Affect something small and defenseless – and get the full wrath of the Federal government on your head …

Perhaps our conservation organizations might want to rethink their game plan. Instead of defending trout, which are far too big and taste good, defend some tiny family of Caddisfly – one that’s hardly visible and largely unpronounceable…

… and then we can act surprised when the trout are the incidental beneficiary.

Tags: Virginia coal mines, mayfly, Steven seagal, EPA, Delta Smelt, old growth forests, spotted owl, trout protection, size matters