Author Archives: KBarton10

There’s a reason fishermen hate to eat fish …

Us Californio’s have always been eager to promote fads that make you recoil in discomfort, violates your personal ethics, or makes you trod wantonly across lines that are rarely crossed …

… and if it looks or smells nasty, then we’re doubly sure to export it to the rest of the planet. As both coasts have embraced Sushi for some time, it’s only those members of the 46 red states betwixt the two oceans that needs to watch the below …

For your dining pleasure, a little soy sauce and we have reanimation …

… something about salt and nerve endings – works swimmingly with frog legs and an unsuspecting girlfriend you’re looking to shed which are only half as nasty, hence the lesson in international cuisine (without mentioning IHOP).

There’s a reason most fishermen hate eating fish, damned if I can remember why though …

Fortunately “scoured by Mother Nature” is only Guy Clean

For most of the year I’ve resisted the urge to muck about on the local creek, largely for fear of upsetting the delicate balance of Nature given that once the flood receded I could only count 4 fish in eleven miles of its banks.

Then again, once I saw the hurried exodus of neighbors, hastily packed luggage crammed into idling vehicles, and the vexed expressions of those waiting in the car while [insert_family_member] went one last time, I realized in addition to being the only person home this weekend, I’d have to bring my own glass to the water, as it would be the only surface absent beer cans and a flotilla of V-8’s.

Note that new svelte-ness, soon toes will be visible

And while all those vacationers hoped to rendezvous with the Pristine, be it casino-based or Mother Nature’s Original Recipe, I strode up her seamy underbelly counting noses in sync with the measured beat of tires on bridge seams.

… and the noses were suddenly plentiful and varied, much to my surprise. All that lifeless gravel now colored with a bit of welcome algae, and host to an early morning Trico spinner fall that was twice as thick as year’s past, suggesting all those shifting tons of gravel buried much of the streambed, but has been assimilated and is home for bugs as well as fish.

Shedding last skin before spinner

I landed quite a few Pikeminnow, who have always appeared to bounce back quickly, and both Bluegill and Sunfish, even hooking a holdover bass that shook me free in a deeper pool.

Most importantly, schools of small fish are visible everywhere, and plenty of largemouth and smallmouth bass are among them. The one-inch fry of Spring have turned into the four inch minnow of early fall, and while it’s easy to miss the first, the latter are large enough to be seen at distance.

The science of stream recovery has proven to be much more valuable to the fisherman than you’d suspect. While it’s certain few have any interest in a coarse fishery, plodding all these miles of riverbank is birthing the newer svelte version, and through observation has taught me where fish go when stressed, where they linger if forced from their comfort zone, and what rate can anglers count on for the natural regenerative processes to spread surviving bugs and fish throughout a traumatized watershed.

There’s enough of the Precious left for our generation to frolic in, yet it’s a comfort to know that someone’s child will have a chance to commune with Nature – or at least her coarse black heart – once the Earth’s crust warms those few fateful degrees and trout are an afterthought in the fossil record.

Scale Magazine: European Fly & Spin eZine

Scale Magazine Logo

Another eZine entrant, this time from Germany (available in English), entitled Scale – and covering both fly and spin fishing.

They’ve got the best logo I’ve seen – considering the topic matter, and I’m a sucker for reading about someone that catches fish – instead of whining about how woeful their season has become like … uhm … me.

No whiners in Germany. Thank Heavens.

Father of the Modern Trout Bum

troutbum It’s probably the only time we’ve seen friend Chandler earnest and straight-faced as he plays Jimmy Olsen, cub reporter, to angling author (and Underground Fave) John Gierach.

Like him or love him, Mr. Gierach is the most quotable soundbyte in fly fishing, more importantly he can do so without drawing the ire of countless readers, even on worthy and contentious subjects:

Q: How do you think you fit into a more extreme fly fishing media landscape?

I’m suspicious of this trend towards making fly fishing an extreme sport. For example, on this book tour, I’m constantly asked “what do you think about the fly fishing film tour?”

I appreciate the adventure and the fishing they’re showing and technically it’s awesome stuff, but that’s just not the sport I recognize. Maybe I’m a little more invested in this pastoral stuff.

Q: That’s interesting. The video guys are trying make a living by going fishing and selling the experience, so in one sense, they’re the new Gierachs, the new trout bums — they’re your children.

I… I guess I can accept that. They’re into a counter-culture head — they live outside the mainstream.

And while I say I don’t recognize the sport, I do recognize those guys. Those are bohemian guys who don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about what they’re doing — they’re doing it for love, and I certainly recognize and understand that.

And those guys will grow up.

I don’t think I’ve seen the differences put any better, we like the young crowd – they’re like us, only the idea they might be us is so upsetting – for both parties ..

It’s a great interview, full of starch and gruff appreciation – which is made all the more endearing by Old Guys with the bit between their teeth.

This being a Scratch and Sniff Post

I recently got a flood of hardcore fish porn from a bevy of self styled male fashion models, each insistent that their freshly minted Singlebarbed headpiece freed them of drooping backcasts, societal inhibitions, and idol worship …

The fabled carp slayer John Montana and his sidekick Dr. Cane, who risked his micrometer-like fingers to heft great gobs of Cyprinid.

Dr Cane and the Living Bamboo Prototype

I mentioned the rod in the background, as well as its funny color and fossil fuel based origins, and he deftly acknowledged it was a “plastic” rod and he was unashamed to be caught slumming, given that he was holding dripping flesh and I wasn’t …

… which made me shut up and blush profusely …

Dr Cane with Yaller Bruiser

Ed Zern called it, “The Thrill That Comes Once in a Lifetime,” the discovery that Yaller Bruisers have a weakness for spectral dubbing …

John Montana and his signature fish

Given we haven’t seen much fish flesh on these pages or anywhere else in the last year, I just had to indulge myself.

Hoping success would rub off, naturally.

Before we shrank before their gaze, now we embrace them as long lost pals

Iheartwarden I’m reading how two guides got into a tiff while fishing with clients, and in the ensuing festivities one fellow’s wake nearly pitched four clients into some Texas lake, which nets the pissed off wake-throwing guide arrest, jail, and the chance to post bail.

Cruz, released from jail Thursday night on a $1,000 bond, said Martinez “does not like competition.”

That being as it may, and not privy to the facts of the adventure, I’ll not weigh in on guilt nor innocence, other than to suggest for any guide endangering clients is certainly poor form at the least …

But in looking up the legal aspects of the issue, I find that California is one of a couple dozen states with similar statutes.

Cruz, 39, was charged with harassment of hunters, trappers and fisherman, a Class B misdemeanor.

Delving into the issue suggests that in addition to carrying loaded weapons to and from the stream, us anglers can have someone arrested if they interfere with our ability to take game …

CALIFORNIA FISH AND GAME CODE
DIVISION 3. FISH AND GAME GENERALLY
CHAPTER 1. TAKING AND POSSESSING IN GENERAL
2009. (a) A person shall not willfully interfere with the
participation of any individual in the lawful activity of shooting, hunting, fishing, falconry, or trapping at the location where that activity is taking place
.
(b) A violation of this section is an infraction punishable by a
fine of not less than one hundred dollars ($100) nor more than five hundred dollars ($500).
(c) If any person is convicted of a violation of this section and
the offense occurred within two years of another separate violation of this section which resulted in a conviction, the violation is a misdemeanor punishable by a fine of not less than one hundred dollars ($100) nor more than one thousand dollars ($1,000), by imprisonment in the county jail for not more than one year, or by both that fine and imprisonment.
(d) This section does not apply to the actions of any peace
officer or personnel of the department in the performance of their official duties. This section does not obstruct the rights and normal activities of landowners or tenants, including, but not limited to, farming, ranching, and limiting unlawful trespass.
(e) In order to be liable for a violation of this section, the
person is required to have had the specific intent to interfere with the participation of an individual who was engaged in shooting, hunting, fishing, falconry, or trapping.
(f) For purposes of this section, “interfere with” means any
action which physically impedes, hinders, or obstructs the lawful pursuit of any of the above-mentioned activities, including, but not limited to, actions taken for the purpose of frightening away animals from the location where the lawful activity is taking place.

With all the possible game in both Pristine and urban interfaces, a canny fellow should even be able to ignore most traffic signals between him and any water, simply by carrying a rod in the back seat ..

The not-so-gracious fellow that slips in uninvited to low-hole the pool is preventing us from  …

… uh-hum.

As is our spouse when she insists we stay at home and follow up on all the chores we’ve kept at arm’s length …

… her too.

Ditto for the guy in the fly shop that informs us the reel is not on sale and where did we get such a foolish notion in the first place?

As we’ve already invoked law suits and the courts to solve every malady from cavities to child rearing, we’re finally catching up to real responsible adults – who’ve long since given up solving anything on their own.

The next time I see the warden glaring at me menacingly, I’ll scream “MOMMY, he done it …” –  then rat out the innocent fellow in the riffle below, whom I don’t like simply because he exists …

Redington to ply its wares straight to the Public

In what amounts to direct competition with fly shops, Redington will be marketing its products directly to the customer as of October 1st. Visitors to the Redington web site will be able to purchase products three ways; via dealers, direct from Redington, or via online dealer web sites.

“We are planning to go direct, but in no way, shape or form are we closing dealers,” he told Angling International. “It is simply a case of providing our customers with an additional option.”

Bale did concede that some dealers may choose not to continue working with Redington because ‘they may not like the direction we are heading’, but emphasized  that the underlying point is not to lose sales.

– via September 2011,  Angling International

Redington is part of the Farbank group of companies, which includes Sage, and Rio.

“Asked whether Redington’s plans for going direct could be the precursor for similar moves by fellow Farbank brands, Sage and Rio, Bale said there was currently no intention for this to happen.

However, if we look down the road five or ten years it is very likely that most brands will be selling direct and Sage and Rio could well be among them,” he added. “It is a question of timing, who goes first and how you do it.”

Looks like a significant break shaping up between the large manufacturers and the small fly fishing shops that make up the fly fishing business, something we mentioned a couple months ago. Are we to be left holding up the little guy while the big players woo Target and Walmart?

The One that got away

caught_foot It makes for a superb fish story, but as someone who’s had a similar experience, it’s the last thing expected and can certainly send an unwanted shudder through your frame.

Kid thinks he’s hooked fish, reels in human foot that comes off the hook just after it’s recognized, triggering search for remainder of body …

Nine hours later it’s revealed to be a Halloween prop, only the kid has emotional damage and swears off both Mickey Dee’s Fillet O’ fish and Tuna forever.

Why the trout fairy tale no longer has a happy ending

Global_Warming I’m a sucker for the dim view, given that economics and temperature mixed with apathy and the potential decline in size of the US government adds up to be  the worst scenario, not the neutral agent others envision.

The short version is that a panel of 11 scientists from Colorado State University, Trout Unlimited, the U.S. Forest Service Rocky Mountain Research Station, the U.S. Geological Survey and the University of Washington Climate Impacts Group, have released a study of four trout species that suggests we’ll be losing half of all trout habitat over the next seventy years.

Most of that loss will be attributed to rising temperatures and global warming, and depending on which warming model is chosen – will dictate how much and how fast – and determines whether we care whether girls use saddle hackles or mule dung in their hair …

Congress is adamant the size of government must be reduced, given we owe most of the GDP to those countries still able to buy our debt, and depending on how much we decide to divest, will be eager to prune wasteful dollars funding watchdog agencies and trout planting – areas that hinder industry from creating  millions of jobs, or serve only the privileged few … us fishermen.

Trout Unlimited and every privately funded conservation group added together couldn’t save  a single river, especially so due to the waves of genetically-superior invasives outcompeting historical residents. Carp might be able to survive a couple of decades longer, but standoffish salmonids have no chance whatsoever.

Mostly because you guys balked when AquaBounty insisted they could insert the gene for sharp teeth and claws – which would’ve allowed them to go toe to toe with all those foreign regiments climbing out of the bilge water.

Instead you left their fate to boards of directors filled with well meaning retirees gashing themselves over “how come they let them trout’s die,” whose wailing lent wings to global warming.

health_careThis being the age of Tea Parties, Beauty Queens from Alaska, and indistinguishable political parties, who’ve got no reason to keep industry in check, or slow their exploitation. Well meaning types weakened by foreclosure and the enforced idleness that comes with 24 months of unemployment, are likely to let down their at the lure of lasting and permanent jobs. Most of those will be cleaning the Pristine because BP fracked it, or something equally poisonous.

That’s more than likely the causal agent of most of the habitat loss, only the body scientific is reluctant to confess and endanger additional grants.

Should the globe warm a couple of degrees as science is predicting, that’ll clear both coastline and interior so they can pave and erect great glass edifices proclaiming our victory over Nature; how we booted Bambi from crapping on all that real estate – and gave her a spacious suite at the Zoo as reward …

They’re hurting, these men of a certain age. Losing their livelihood isn’t the only “transition” they’re going through. Dr. Jed Diamond, author of Surviving Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome, calls it a “double whammy.” The first: “a change of life, hormonally based, affecting our psychology and emotions from 40 to 55.” The second: unemployment. “It’s devastating. The extreme reaction is suicide, but before you get there, there’s irritability and anger, fatigue, loss of energy, withdrawal, drinking, more fights with their wives.”

– from Dead Suit Walking, Newsweek Magazine

Newsweek calls our demographic the “Beached White Male” (BWM), suggesting the real casualties of the recession being middle aged college educated white boys. Add in all them guts spilling over waistlines and the Type II Diabetes epidemic that’s about to leave the streets paved in corpses –  and our generation will have destroyed most of the tillable sections of the globe, as well as eliminated any need for (non televised) sports, the out of doors, and John Wayne …

… then paid the price in one spasmodic orgy of cholesterol.

Which I find strangely appropriate, proof that despite all the advances of science we’ve never listened to anything other than our reproductive organs and our gut – settling the whole issue about whether we read it for the pictures or the articles …