Author Archives: KBarton10

I’d think before getting amorous with your catch

I hope it was Koi, the alternative is too ugly It’s the way of all things.

Climb to the top of the food chain over many decades of adversity then see it all undone by a promiscuous Koi?

The massive die off of Carp at California’s Clear Lake appears to be linked to someone dumping unwanted Koi, infected by Herpes. How the disease spread throughout the Carp population is still somewhat a mystery, but it may involve unprotected sex and a lot of drinking.

Water, most Likely.

It’s raining iPhones

It could lead to a $300 projectile I love gadgets as much as the next fellow, and after eyeballing an Apple iPhone some months ago – I figured sooner or later I might end up owning one.

Now I’m glad I waited as there may be a better than average chance at scoring a free one. The software geniuses at Freeverse have debuted the first fishing game for the iPhone, and like the Wii, it’s motion activated.

You’ll remember the Wii as the cause of all those smashed TV screens, the “heat of battle” caused the controllers to slip from sweaty fingers – neatly imbedding themselves in some fellow’s expensive wide screen.

… reading the fine print of the iPhone game, it mentions “casting is activated by an overhand throwing motion” – which means the well heeled fellow at the bus stop may want you to “go long” ….

If you want one – just keep running.

It’s a thought … $300 per catch may put you in the middle tier payscale for NFL receivers.

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What in hell am I going to make with that

togen_steelhead It was an oddball hook, normally I would’ve kept moving without another thought – but a sale is not to be taken lightly…

Togen has an overstock sale on an odd shaped “Salmon-Steelhead” hook in black nickel, only a single size available, size 2 – but I took another gander and saw a “creepy-crawly” hook rather than steelhead-salmon steel.

Traditional hooks can be turned over to ride point up only with some heavy add on, bead chain eyes or similar physics-altering device capable of overcoming the weight of the bend and point. Hooks are naturally heavier towards the arse end – and something’s needed to reset that balance point.

“Creepy-Crawly” describes everything that’s big, sinks, and used early season, when the water’s heavy and the fish are looking for the big bug.

This has just the right kind of oddball shape that I can easily flip it over just by positioning the lead on the shank. The size is right for big stonefly nymphs and heavy … you guessed it … crayfish patterns.

Early season nymphing is hell on hooks, and it’s common to rescue a fly from a rock snag to find a nice “L” shape to the point – getting that precious point out of harm’s way would be desirable.

At $7.50 per hundred, they’re half price.

Never has so few been shunned by so many over so little

No one’s accused us of being overly clean or bright, but we own the “adventurous” label hand’s down.

All brownliners have a host of aberrations; we’re as superstitious as baseball players, display enough nervous tics to warrant rehab, and practice strange ritual, reviled and largely misunderstood.

That’s why we only offer lunches to the folks we like. Slaw dogs may be the pinnacle of cuisine in the higher elevations, but Wasp cookies are “culinary cutting edge” regardless of which continent hosts the Brown water we’re in…

Native foods contain  precious anti-bodies to combat the accidental dunking, and coupled with our lay entomological studies – we seek education and immunization in every calorie ingested.

… and on slow days, it’s bait.

Adapt, evolve, and overcome; Darwin didn’t plan on sissies reproducing, and we take offense if we’re escorting one through the Brown Water.

Slogging through all that odiferous stream bottom usually eliminates the urge to dine, especially for the first couple of outings. We dispense with the usual formalities like crystal dinnerware and silken napkins, preferring the camaraderie of finger foods to break the ice.

Neat rows of Protein, no ceremony - just dig in It’s fairly common to mistake our fly box for the party tray as they look so much alike. Neatly ordered rows of “Czech Nymphs” await the angler bent on protein, but “Czech” for fish hooks before swallowing…

Brownliner’s have always espoused “green” dining – only because introducing such high energy foods to traditional fishermen turns them green in a hurry. We keep the recipes close to the vest, and discourage the casual diner from inquiries like …

Now we're going to see some green “…. what was that delicious, crunchy, invigorating item in the salad?”

“I’m so glad you asked, it’s a native species common to all brownline watersheds that feeds off decaying flora and fauna, has zero Transfat, and domesticates amazingly well.

Rich in protein, typically taking on the flavor of its host, it’s abundant, muscular, and rich in nutrition.

It’s our ‘little entomological nutrition powerhouse’ and a trade secret.”

Just a little ahead of it’s time, but it’s the future of the Fillet O’ Fish sandwich

Carp for Christmas It all sounds wonderful on paper, but I remain unwilling to alter my idea of fine table fare. Farmed fish is a foregone conclusion, but I don’t think I’ll be trading the Xmas turkey for a Christmas Carp anytime soon.

It’s comforting to know the Little Stinking is the perfect candidate for a carp farm, substituting horse manure for the diatomaceous earth that makes a Chalkstream so protein rich.

Apart from a daily helping of homegrown mealworms, they browse the muddy depths where a carefully managed pond ecology nurtured by cow manure provides for all their needs. “Carp are a bit like chickens,” says Hepburn.

I’m sure some epicure could taste the difference, waxing poetic about, “earthen overtones, with a pleasing ferrous twang” – but I’m nervous about the “couple weeks in fresh water” part, I just don’t see how a lifetime of squalor can be made up with only two weeks of finishing school.

He has also taken steps to improve the taste of the fish, often described as “muddy”, by transferring the fish to natural spring water a few weeks before harvest.

I had the same reaction when Poppa insisted the common garden snail was a heady french import – and a couple weeks of cornmeal and lettuce leaves were enough to counteract the Snail-B-Gone.

Living in California requires a certain culinary cutting edge mentality, it’s part of the appeal, in this instance I may have to go with the burger instead.

At last count there was enough manure in those to earn me a merit badge of some sort.

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The Dry Fly is beloved of Green Energy

We always get the bad rap This alternative energy thing may have gone a bit too far, am I supposed to keep a butane lighter nearby and cremate all the flies I don’t want?

In today’s competitive marketplace for electrical power, utilities must optimize the use of their capital resources while continually providing system improvements. One way to do both of these is to convert an existing wet fly ash handling system to a dry fly ash handling system. This conversion replaces the large cost and real estate associated with maintaining an ash pond with a dry fly ash storage silo.

I tie more nymphs than dry flies and can only assume that all the lead is removed via the handling system –  but is some canny entrepreneur running a chipper-shredder on the limbs overhanging our favorite stretches of river, and can I file on the energy rights?

The Coal industry and fly fishing share some terms in common, a bit confusing, “dry fly ash” is why you don’t want a coal-fired anything next door. Apparently “dry fly ash” can be sold to fertilizer and cement makers, and “wet fly ash” is landfill. 

Different industry, different science, and the “Dry Fly Guys” still go home with the Prom Queen. I guess we’ll have to settle for all the big fish …

Furry Foam by any other name is a blanket

JC Penny's Vellux blanket with 9 colors available I was tracking some quarry for the Roughfisher, and as the supply is ample figured I’d share with everyone else, as many of you tie flies with baby blankets …

You call it Furry Foam, and are content to pay $1.25 for a 6″ X 6″ square, I call it a Vellux Throw, and pay $15.00 for 36 square feet. At retail that’s a 600% profit for the middlemen – who score them wholesale I’m sure.

J.C. Penny’s offers nine colors in stock, available as a throw wrap ($15), and Twin through King sized sheets ($19 – $34).

Hareline sells it in the fly shop, but why buy it from them Big stonefly nymphs and Darth Clam come to mind, likely it’s something you’ll want to split with a buddy, or share with your fly tying class – 36 square feet is a lot of flies.

One of the few investments for a toddler they won’t outgrow – once they get too big you can launder it and chop it into manageable pieces, you may even have it longer than the bronzed baby shoe.

Just cut around anything that looks like “urpy-chuck.”

Any bigger and I’d add Butter to the head cement

Halloween is a bad influence, add an aged Blueberry Poptart and a couple fingers of the mud I call coffee, and you’ve unleashed the expressionist beast. Now I understand why Van Gogh trimmed an ear off – he was in the throes of creativity and tired of painting rich people.

I can sympathize, tying little tiny insects in muted earth tones can grate on a fellow over time, especially with gray skies and constant rain showers for companionship. 

The shipment of red and black boa arrived and provided the luxury of big, bright and colorful; big hooks, bigger ideas and only physics to hold me in check.

Mother Nature's version

This “natural” was nearly 6 inches long, normal sized for the red crayfish I’ve seen on the creek. The Olive variant imitates the smaller crayfish which are more plentiful, I’m not sure if there’s a relationship, implying Olive crayfish are immature and molt into red armor after a certain age, but there’s plenty of both present in the creek at all times.

 

This is using the “Cardinal” color of Boa yarn which is a mixture of crimson, ruby, and black. I tossed in four strands of orange rubber legs, and 4 strands of ultra chenille to simulate some of the pronounced legs visible in the original above.

It’s tied to flip over and ride hook point up, so legs and other items are mounted on the top of the fly. I figure if it doesn’t work I can whack off everything but the rubber legs and have a decent mouse.

Despite its size the fly is pretty lightweight, I added 30 turns of 2 Amp fuse wire to get it down in a hurry, but the yarn and other items weigh next to nothing.

This is the first prototype, I may add a tail under the hook eye as a beard – a loop of the red yarn would make a nice “paddle” tail and may even assist in getting it to ride properly.

Short strikes haven’t been a problem on the Little Stinking Olive, both bass and pikeminnow completely inhale the fly, we’ll add a trailer hook if needs be.

The boa yarn slims down when wet making a watery lump of fly that looks completely solid. The gossamer fibers mat like marabou removing all lumps and strands, I taper cut the legs to make them thin as they join the fly and thick out by them monstrous claws.

I spent most of the weekend trying the boa yarn on a variety of applications, most successful were the Matuka Muddler streamers and the black stoneflies.

 

The tough weave that holds the fibers together makes a splendid synthetic hackle – something I’ll exploit on Shad and Steelhead flies – where the chicken hackle is prone to breaking as the flies take so much more abuse than trout flies.

Plenty of bright colors available to tinker with and although they’re available in stores I’ve been able to buy the skeins of material much cheaper on eBay.

Gravitational Recycling wins, I beat a hasty retreat

I couldn't get closer without retching, gravity is amazing isn't it Clearly I got the trick rather than the treat. It’s been raining steady all weekend which has forced me to double up on the coffee and fly tying ration. In a fit of rebellion, I figured getting wet was no big thing – I’m more comfortable with a leg full of water than dry.

The Bridge Pool beckoned, and with the rain and breeze I assumed I wouldn’t have to crouch behind the abutment while Carp finned lazily giving me the finger…

Instead Humanity saw to that.

I like a goat burrito as well as the next fellow, but enriching the watershed with 400 pounds of skins, hooves, entrails, and viscera, is hardly green.

Sure, it’s recycling – but you don’t call it that when the wind shifts.

Right about then a couple of kids open up with belt fed .22’s – and I realized I was really behind on my flytying.

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There are them as do, and them as don’t – them as don’t shouldn’t

There’s a warning and a promise in the below; the warning is for those that have never tied flies, and the promise is for those that do..

When you find something really special, you don’t linger, you don’t think about it, you don’t wonder – you pounce. Worry about storage later.

For those thinking that fly tying is a quaint way of extending your trout season, and how a couple fingers of old malt would go well with a half dozen Adam’s – think again. I’ve mentioned it a number of times in the past – just ensuring you were listening is all.

It’s guaranteed that items you take for granted will vanish with little warning – it’s our unique curse as almost nothing is made for fly fishing, we borrow it from some other industry.  If chenille sweaters are out of fashion, or Corvette seats are no longer lined with vinyl tubing, we’ll suffer the loss of something dear.

In part, I’ve tried to show you where these materials are made and what industry they’re made for, in doing so, illustrating how precarious our position is – we represent a tiny fraction of the business to a manufacturer, as our contribution is limited to the purchase of a 3 yard card.

There’s a certain prophecy in my material aberration; both natural and synthetic materials are vulnerable to fashion, the economy, and government regulation. When Belding-Cortescelli pulled Nymo from production there was a howl heard worldwide – the equivalent of Danville thread vanishing overnight.

Polar bear, seal fur, Heron, Jay, and all of the materials popularized in Atlantic Salmon flies vanished with equal ease. Both Polar bear and seal were “in my lifetime” as a tyer – now we’re using substitutes for the substitute and glad we can get that.

It wasn’t so sudden that we couldn’t try to stock up, most did their best, and some ensured they had a lifetime supply, the rest hoped the substitute was cheap and half as effective – most were not.

I had the good fortune of being schooled by the masters of their day, and while my young eyes got big as saucers when they produced materials – all had the same prophetic speech, “stock up as much as you can, as anything can vanish at the whim of a manufacturer or the government.”

It’s all part of the mastery aspect, you’re going to burn 4 ounces due to a poor dye,  6 more ounces to excessive heat, or the phone ringing – you’ll loose another half pound to the moths, and your favorite dog will eat at least two of your precious hides when you’re not looking.

If you’re really lucky that’ll leave you that last pound for your own use.

Witness the below confession as a “money” fly hangs in the balance; colors no longer made and one last chance to stock up. Sure I’m crazy, just like Popeye stockpiling spinach.

 

Cal Bird had the most influence on my tying, one of those rare luxuries afforded by proximity. I remember him ordering teal flank by the pound – when 4 ounces would represent a typical tyer’s lifetime.

Cal was a professional tyer – he didn’t sell his work commercially, rather he’d tinker with materials, colors, and flies, as a regular part of his day. Never satisfied and always on the tip of some discovery known only to him. Occasionally we’d all get to see some of his efforts – his tools, flies, and the ever-present packet of materials he’d press into your hand so you could try some.

He was “paying it forward” – empowering the next generation of young hopefuls with some of the materials forever gone – that we’d all benefit from his calculated purchases of yesteryear. It’s a special quality shared by Cal and a lot of old timer’s, a knowing wink and something rare pressed into your hand.

It’s all part of the tradition – once limited to the “father-son” legacy, now practiced by those interested in passing on something more tangible than a silly fly with their first name attached.

In another couple of decades I’ll be stove up and content to sit in the sunshine jawboning.  If I’m really lucky there’ll be a couple of new guys at the casting club – alternately swearing and snapping thread – with The Desire, but absent the skills, so I can do the same.

While you’re giggling, make sure you remember what happened to Z-Lon, and in the intervening 23 years how much of the 586 pounds does Bett’s have left?