Author Archives: KBarton10

Perhaps the most important addition to your fly fishing arsenal

OptiFade was one of the best purchases I’ve ever made, and the discovery that dipping the gear in the Little Stinking’s effluent adds a watery sheen – has made it an integral part of my fly fishing arsenal.

OptiFade - the Deer's Eye View

OptiFade is a new optical pattern camouflage developed by the Gore-Tex folks, the picture at left shows what deer see.

I was able to borrow a prototype to attempt some carp sneakage, slipped in the creek and got the entire ensemble wet…

Apparently the unique combination of industrial effluents contained in the Little Stinking enhanced the land-based camo with a watery sheen, making me nearly invisible to the human eye.

Want Proof?

Me and Pal Tom, after the tour How about me standing next to Tom Chandler, after he’s revealed all his Upper Sacramento Secret Spots unknowingly…

It sure was cold that day, and I’m still feeling guilty Wally the Wonderdog got blamed for clipping Tom’s fine sandwich – but I was starving…

It appears that Gore-Tex is going to cut me in for a piece of the pie. Up till now I’ve held out the “mysterious formula” that makes the water-camo, faithful Singlebarbed readers will get a discount – but I want a piece of whatever you shoplift.

“Secrets of the Upper Sacramento” (as writ by hisself) available from Amazon.com – just in time for Christmas.

Unpopular at the Pier, No Bailout for old rod companies

Tom Chandler published a short piece on the struggles of some of our older, venerable rod companies, how the downturn in the economy was forcing layoffs and depressing sales.

Tom asked for comments.

 

Dear Rod Company Executive,

Recently I’ve learned of the downturn in the economy and the Hard Times that will surely follow. It’s my understanding that as part of the Darwinian process – where the strong companies responsive to their customers have a small chance at survival, and those that didn’t have none …. many of you won’t be around much longer.

That’s Good.

As the sole author of a pissant little angling blog, my readers have been subjected to much spit and vitriol on this sacred subject; the state of the fly rod industry, and its absurd pricing.

It’s my steadfast belief that a fly rod made of paper-backed silica or carbon scrim, containing 12 rings of Portuguese cork, 8 stainless or chromed guides, a lathe-turned aluminum reel seat, and 50 yards of nylon thread has no business approaching $1000 dollars in price.

… this from your industries’ Dream Customer, the guy that owns more rods than fingers, loves new technology, and is itching for an excuse to own more.

Sorry, I’m not interested in your tackle. Your canny Madison Avenue marketing geniuses mistook the Wall Street banking crowd as your constituency, and you’ve been making rods for them – not us fishermen.

You’ve set your cap on an unsustainable economic model, and assumed this tiny niche could endure any form of price indignity. We’d swallow “NiTQ” as something really rare – rather than a silica garage floor coating, we’d perceive a lighter rod as worth an additional $250, insist that a carbon reel seat was sex compared to rare wood – it’s lighter and cheaper for you to make, certainly – sex it’s not.

Real fishermen know sex, we know it’s sweaty, wet, dirty, and some fellow on the far bank is yelling “Woo Hoo, Yeaah!.” We’re not the effete little poseurs you bet your entire company on.

 

Those guys – the back-biting little pricks shown in recent advertisements, aren’t answering your phone call, they’re on the street wondering whether Obama means jail time – or whether they can sell their New York condo before they’re foreclosed on …

Good Goddamn riddance – to them and you.

It’s the perfect storm, Mr Rod Company Executive; a severe recession looming, financial markets in disarray, and none of those institutions are going to loan you a dime. You make luxury items, really expensive luxury items, and with a decade of belt tightening looming – that Chinese blank is looking mighty sweet to me and my pocketbook.

You’ve had your heyday, relying on “buy American” to lure us back from what we could afford – to the outlandish priced crap you’ve insisted are pre-requisites of excellence and keeps the “club” exclusive. Most of us are still making payments on that rod courtesy of extended credit and misguided loyalty.

You blew the excess inventory out in warehouse sales, which hit eBay only days after you did so, and now we’re left wondering why that sonofabitch local vendor sold us a rod for $800 that can be bought on eBay for half that. Your current models should’ve been shredded – or donated to clubs for charity fundraiser’s – instead I can get a new Helios for less than $400, which really confuses me – as we’ve been so loyal to you.

… and the whole fly fishing thing is evaporating in front of us; angling on the decline, quality water in freefall, the government either outmanned, outgunned, or wants to mine what pristine watersheds are left, we’re besieged on every front with invasive species, water rights, water diversion, power generation, stream access, and global warming, and I’ve got to ask – where are you?

Shouldn’t some of you have been pounding fist at a congressional hearing on one or more of these pervasive issues? Now that everyone is taking a turn at the Public Trough – suddenly you want to be “hat in hand” in front of a congressional panel with your fleece outers and tweed uppers?

Them senators – ill-informed and misguided though they may be – are hoping they can keep bread on someone’s table, preserving industries and jobs for folks that can’t afford your tackle already.

Cars are a luxury too … but they’re not the “obscene” kind of luxury befitting a thousand dollar item used only 9 times per year.

No sir, you haven’t paid much attention to us. We recognize that most of you aren’t fishermen – having freely imported plenty of Wharton’s finest – and losing your soul in the process.

Great rod companies, with great product and enough cash on hand to withstand a 50% drop in sales for the next decade – will survive. But I’m not going to help you, not one bit.

I’m legally bound not to reveal my “media” discount, but it confirms what I’ve written about your tackle – your base costs are unchanged, and less than one hundred dollars per rod. Each small iteration in “rod tech” is trumpeted by your colorful advertisements and cocksure staff, obsolescing what I’ve bought with a robust price increase – and little else.

We’ve always loved your product, but we love our kids and homes more.

I’ll buy your rods later from the receiver – after they’ve shuttered your doors and you’re left in the parking lot with a cardboard box and your precious red stapler.

Not yet a fly, not even rational thought. Blame Nyquil.

I’ve been calling it the “Fishing Jones” yarn – ever since I saw his Peacock Bass picture. I’m not sure what eats little Peacock Bass, but yank six inches of this stuff through the water and you’re sure to find out.

 

Mornings are cold and wet and with me honking snot already, wisdom has kept me indoors. I’ve got a couple of “alpha prototypes” to test this weekend; they’re not flies yet – merely strips of the material lashed onto a hook to test the physical qualities; does it shred apart, does it flap around wildly, does it resemble anything other than a Nyquil induced nightmare … the usual tests.

It’s an Italian double-eyelash yarn that is iridescent, all the colors of the rainbow are present and they glimmer like the center of a Peacock eye. 100% Polyamide – so it’s soft as a baby’s arse, and melts when exposed to flame.

 

What makes it difficult is the 4-strand stitch up the center. It’s unnecessary as a structural component, yet something I’ll have to work around.

The maker is Gedifra, “Costa Rica” is the yarn name. It appears to have ceased production in 2004, but can be had on eBay or some of the traditional yarn outlets.

I have to assume the best fishing yarns make the poorest fashion. Never much of a “clothes horse” myself, it certainly brings into focus the question of sense of style. I find something I like only to learn it fell out of favor four or five years ago.

Too damn much to read and DayQuil ain’t helping

While not yet recovered from a bout of the flu, I am catching up on some reading – both print and online.

Great posts abound; Daytripper returns with Black Friday fly fishing, Roughfisher chews a little industry arse, Fishing Jones ponders dress code, but the best may be from Turning Over Small Stones – who’s tackling the smart trout myth

We’re all familiar with the Theory, we’ve debated it over campfires, well drinks, and dimly lit motel rooms – is it the all-pervasive destiny of a decade of Catch and Release regulations, are fish really smarter?

We tend to grant intelligence and savvy only when bested, but is it “streem smart” fish or merely a combination of skills, limited fly selection and failing eyesight that confounds us?

The print media is clearly on the ropes – what with the Tribune bankruptcy as posterchild for declining dead-tree readership. So many great topics steadfastly avoided by our angling media – it’s not surprising to see why the eyeballs are flocking to the Internet.

If we introduced Trout Lifecycle in auto shop they might understand the connection

Sir Isaac Lays it Down for small block Chevies It’s a heartwarming article to be sure, local volunteers from Trout Unlimited introducing “Trout in the Classroom” to the bright, eager eyeballs of youth.

Emily Sklenka, a 10-year-old Bristol girl, said watching the eggs hatch and the trout grow will be “really cool.” She said she likes that the fish eye is already visible.

My question would be – when does a small block Chevy thrown off a bridge become “cooler?” Sure, it’s the same impressionable eyeballs doing the deed – enraptured by Natural Order, and balance in Nature, but was it the Physics professor that turned all those potential naturalists into hooligans?

The answer has to be somewhere’s in the 10 to 20 age range; covering Junior High, High School, and the subsequent two years of lounging around deciding what to do next.

“If we didn’t teach them how to eat, they would probably starve,” Swanson said. He told the students that some of the trout won’t be clever enough to survive because they won’t figure out how to eat.

“Some fish just don’t get it,” said Swanson. Those fish, he said, are called pinheads because their body never fills out to match their enlarged heads.

Then again, we could be dealing with the Natural Course Of Things, only our pinheads fill out just fine –  they just have to be taught to work rather than eat. That’s the theory Dad used, but I was hoping it was the Physics professor, I guess I’m still smarting over the ” a tone-deaf little weasel” epithet.

The first decision is whether you’re a collector or a fisherman

I started with the best of intentions; first the news of the Hardy manufacturing exodus to Korea, and me suffering that odd moment of clarity, where I’m wondering about all those extra spools I promised myself I’d eventually get – and never did.

Anglers are a superstitious and fastidious lot – willing to put an asterisk next to any item that isn’t precisely the way it’s always been. We label items with pre- and post- to rarify them far in excess of their true value.

The best Hardy’s were always pre-War, polar bear was pre-ban, the biggest fish were post-extinction, and you fished twice as much pre-marriage, somehow we’re all inexorably tied to one or the other prefix.

Anyone that’s fished for a couple decades has a sizable inventory of hardware with years of service left, unchanged by treaty, economic uncertainty, or Act of Congress. Our reaction to change is predictable; we scramble around moaning, and score what we can before someone cleans out the spare parts.

It’s a pilgrimage to the vendor’s back room or an overlooked dusty shelf somewhere behind the register, or its eBay, that bastion of castoff’s, semi-sales, and shade-tree dealers that delight in our lust for the dubious all-star equipment of yesteryear.

Fishermen are patient, and study their prey

I was a huge fan of the old Scientific Angler System series of fly reels, made by Hardy under the Scientific Angler, and L.L. Bean labels – and sold in England (by Hardy) as the Marquis. A solid reel, not overly ornate, with a heavy exposed rim allowing you to drape a thumb on it for increased control.

I needed a reel for an Scientific Anglers System 8 (SA 8), and a extra spool for an SA 9. I still haven’t figured how I had the spool but no reel, I figure a buddy or older brother was involved.

Like a small minnow in a pond of bigger fish I darted out and slammed the first spool that showed, in hindsight paying double what it was worth.

Lesson Learned: One of them will show every week, due to the US, Canada, and most of the UK emptying their garage. Before buying, watch a few auctions to see the range in price for the item.

After my initial taste of being a “food group” – I settled in and watched a half dozen spool auctions complete – without me. Like the eBay rods, trout sizes command a higher price than Steelhead and Saltwater tackle, and an extra premium is put on pristine condition, and unique history of the reel.

As a fisherman – not a reel collector, all I’m going to do with a pristine reel is use it. I’ll swear mightily when I scratch it, get misty eyed when it’s dented, and bounce it off of every boulder and stream bank I stumble over. When I’m done, it’ll be recognizable by the patina – the record of every fish caught, every misstep taken, and every pratfall endured.

Pristine is nice, but I’ve got no business paying that extra premium.

Lesson Learned: Decide whether you’re a fisherman or a reel collector, stay out of the auctions that you don’t belong in – you’ll save a lot of money.

The discovery that professionals are involved in many trades was a bit of heartbreak, but not unexpected. I was looking to fill a simple need and some sharp fellow is in there throwing elbows to turn a profit. Feedback from past sales showed me who were players and who were the amateurs, and knowing what company I was in suggested when to bid and when to play it cagey.

They love tinhorns, we’re emotionally involved and even if it’s a couple extra spools or a Ross reel we’ve always wanted to own, they’ll descend in the last 3 seconds of the auction and snatch it away for a great price – with us fumbling to respond.

Then they put the reel up again under their name (or another account) and force the price higher.

They use bid sniping software that guarantees the bid will land in the last 10 seconds of the auction. We’re watching the clock tick thinking it’s ours – and a bargain, and they snatch it right out from under while we struggle with the keyboard.

The software is automated and requires no human interaction other than max bid, and while we’re shaking fists at the screen, they’re at work oblivious to our hatred.

The unscrupulous professional will auction the reel he’s just won a week later at a starting bid of .99 cents, and when you put down your max bid of $145, you’ve just played into their hands. Often a third account (usually with “0” feedback) is used to bump the price until they’ve recouped their costs – then they’ll allow the tinhorn’s to fight over table scraps, guaranteeing they’ll sell it for more than they paid.

Lesson Learned: Look at the feedback of the person selling the reel. Look at what they’ve bought and what they’ve sold. If it’s all fly fishing gear, you’re dealing with a professional. That’s good and sometimes bad; good because they’re describing the item accurately and fairly, and they’ll be practiced at prompt delivery. There’s the occasional “player” – who’s just trying to turn a buck, that’s not so good. Look for accounts with low (or no) feedback that come in and bump the price $5 a crack … and then mysteriously stop near some preset value.

Lesson Learned: Never bid what you’ll pay, only bid $1.00 over the current price. If there’s a shady dealer he’ll stop bumping it once he’s the high bidder. Use automated software to bid your maximum in the last 10 seconds of the auction.

On eBay a “CFO” isn’t a “C.F.O.” – and the best deals come on a misspelling or an incomplete description. Professional resellers always use the “Hardy” word in the title, “.. a Scientific Anglers reel made by Hardy Brothers,” that’s because “fly reel” is too vague, and you’re likely to use the vendor name to search for specific models. Their goal is to put the merchandise in front of the folks looking for it, so they’ll use all the keywords possible, it’s good marketing.

Someone selling a reel or spool from a deceased relative doesn’t know Hardy Bros. from Laurel and Hardy, so they’ll advertise the reel as a “Scientific Anglers System 7”  – precisely what the back of the reel says; they don’t know what it’s worth and they’re hoping you do. Absent the “Hardy” label in the text description, their auction will only see half the eyes that are looking, virtually guaranteeing the reel sells for at least $20 less than one using all the right words.

Lesson Learned: Misspellings and the text used in the advert determine how many do ( or don’t ) see the auction, if you’re after a particular model, always search for it by what it says on the back of the reel. A non-fisherperson will invariably use that as their auction description.

The Beauty of Fingerprints

Fine reels are like any finely crafted item, the marks of Time gives each a unique tale and also speaks eloquently of it’s past life and owner.

Well fished reels look the part – and while a lot of the finish may be missing around the rim – and it hasn’t been oiled recently, it still has another hundred years of service left. Reel collectors avoid the worn reels – as if a damp reel put away prematurely has lost all luster. It’ll certainly destroy the finish, and it won’t be terribly pretty, but mechanically the reel is sound.

Bent spools can be “unbent” with finger pressure, and worn latches that cause the spool to slop off can be fixed with an “elbow” from a hairpin. These are simple mechanical devices that can be restored easily. Bent rims and frames are entirely different – and typically snap if you attempt to straighten them.

I gravitate to a lot of well worn and damaged reels. I can repair many ailments myself, and a lot of parts can be salvaged to keep your current stable of functional reels tuned and precise.

Sometimes you can get the spool for half the normal price, as the reel surrounding it is damaged beyond repair. Your fellow anglers will ignore auctions with obvious damage, often allowing you to swoop in and recover the spool for half it’s normal value. Parts are in short supply, sometimes two cheap damaged reels equals a single functional reel and a reservoir of extra parts.

Lesson Learned: You don’t compete with collectors on worn or blemished reels, they want pristine condition, and a little rust or wear keeps the casual types at arm’s length.

Lesson Learned: On a damaged reel ask the seller enough questions to satisfy your diagnosis. Many will take additional pictures for you and will describe whether the spool turns smoothly or not. Be patient and thorough in your questioning – the owner may not be a fly fisherman.

Know History, or pay the price

Certain reels are worth more due to vintage, history, or some pre- or post- issue you aren’t aware of – it’s important to understand why a CFO IV sell for $320, and another just like it sells for $150.

The most highly sought after reels have always been the Hardy Perfect series. There are numerous books on the subject outlining their lineage and value, and many other makes and models have a similar legacy and a rabid following, like the Orvis CFO series.

The first CFO models were traditional click-pawl drag, and had four visible aluminum rivets visible on the rear of the frame. These are prized much more than any other variations – largely because they’re lighter than subsequent CFO designs. These rivets vanished when Hardy changed the drag design, and are absent in the current “disc” models as well.

Orvis still sells the CFO III and some of the smaller models, (made in China) but the CFO IV and CFO V are no longer made.

A similar regard holds for the Hardy Princess family; the LRH Lightweight, Featherweight, Flyweight, and Princess. If the line guard features a “two screw” attachment to the frame – it’s worth quite a bit more than the single screw model.

Lesson Learned: Due to issues of vintage and legacy some reels are worth more than others, even if they look identical. Know the differences in what makes them so – to save yourself both a lot competitors, and paying a much higher price.

Postage and Payment

It costs about $3.00 to mail a spool or a reel anywhere in the continental US – assuming adequate wrapping, some foam to disperse shock, and some tape to seal it tightly.

Always check the postage costs before you start bidding. It’s one of those really clever ways to get another $10 out of you, and is pretty common on eBay. The better vendors (those with storefronts, or are doing this professionally) will refund the difference between the stated postage and what it really costs – back to you.

The unscrupulous merchant won’t, that $12.00 shipping charge nets him another ten dollars profit over what you paid, and is part of his overall plan for world domination.

I prefer PayPal payments and don’t bid on auctions requiring a money order or bank draft. (Get your sorry, lowtech ass off my pristine electronic marketplace, Grandpappy.)

Avoiding eBay addiction

All the stories you’ve heard about eBay addiction are very real, especially when it comes to collecting sacred angling artifacts.

You have to keep iron control over what you’re bidding on – especially in the face of the increasing number of reels and spools on the market. A lot of the brotherhood are in mortgages they can’t afford, about 1 in 10 have too much house, so there’s an increasing amount of fly tackle on the auction block.

The last six months the number of reels listed has jumped from 75 Hardy’s per week to nearly 125 today, ditto for almost every other contemporary maker – regardless of arbor type. In the face of this unprecedented glut of fine tackle – you’ll need to make sure you don’t go off the deep end and use the “milk and egg” money.

I managed to get what I needed without going overboard, but the lure of quality tackle and real possibility of a bargain is so very compelling. I was innocently filling in some missing items (and lusting over almost everything) and it almost got me…

I’ll wait awhile and let my ardor cool off before I go back for that last missing 3 3/8″ Perfect spool.

Those of you with a couple decades of tackle that are interested in doing likewise, I’ll leave the field to you. Remember, you cannot possibly keep pace with the flood of goodies; be precise, be surgical, and bid only up to your preset “bargain” price. There will be an identical spool next week, so let the other fellow win some. Be patient and you’ll acquire everything you think you need at prices that’ll surprise you.

The last rod you’ll ever need

It’s been an arduous wait, but I’d promised a revolutionary step in fly rod design and pricing, and by all that’s Holy, I’ve delivered…

Introducing the Singlebarbed “Crapper” rod, just in time for Christmas – and with a sturdy “one size fits all” system allowing a non-fisherperson to head for the counter knowing they’re purchasing the right rod.

For the older angler, the Crapper blank has been hand painted in Bamboo® to assist adoption of contemporary fibers and rod construction.

The Crapper features a two piece design, and a revolutionary Cork® grip with adjustable reel seat that accommodates both Spey, Switch, and conventional grips.

Traditional Seat

Sulphated Bismuth-Gallium Arsenide® (BiGaS2) retainers are the latest advance in reel seat technology, featuring all weather, corrosion proof, condiment resistant, shock absorbing, reel seat security – that adjusts on the fly, often in mid cast. 

Whether you prefer the traditional grip, “switch” style, or European Spey, a simple twist and slide will reset your grip, facilitating both roll casts and complex spey casts.

switch / Spey style with the BiGasS2 reel seat iPhone users can purchase the optional Spey Hero II® add-on that assists in teaching the rhythm and timing of the “Reverse Snap ‘T’ ” and “Duck on a Hot Plate” casts.

You’ve had a pretty rod, you’ve owned a pretty expensive rod, isn’t it about time you owned a pretty damned good rod?

Speedsloped guides,ThreadZ, and Pure X The Crapper features vibration dampening ThreadZ® that serve to reduce rod reverb, transferring the “Y” and “Z” plane energy into Pure X®. Pure X® technology adds dozens of yards to your cast through SpeedSloped Guides® and longer thread wraps on the tip side of each guide – serving as a PowerReservoir® of energy that will grant you long effortless casts free of tedium.

In our factory we make rods, on the stream we make Heroes.”

Sidestep to the Singlebarbed difference, wade with confidence, cast with authority, and lie like the Big Dog.

Technorati Tags: , ,

The only beverage that ice can’t help

In California the only clue that it’s winter is the volume of sick, sniffling co-workers that insist on sharing whatever malady they’ve contracted.

There’s a special hell waiting for the guy that wipes his nose on his sleeve then hands out the meeting minutes – this time the bastard got me.

My personal Jesus

A short advert from our sponsor, we’ll return when we’re human again.

Technorati Tags: , , ,

Felix Lighter never laughed at MI6

jamesBond I’m thinking there’s some kind of shadow organization behind it all; some dotCom wunderkind with half the assets of the planet – some heiress with a “mad on” – some sheik or warlord sitting on a mountain of precious resources, owning enough periodicals and media outlets to wage a Jihad against anglers.

Today’s headlines are just one salvo among many..

Hitler’s favorite meal was trout.

There’s a couple dozen Bond movies with sinister organizations whose existence is enmeshed with crackpot scientists, egoists, and semi-evil women with massive breasts. World domination or “nuking everyone” is a prevalent theme, followed only by the “spaceship behind a comet” snuffing of life on the planet.

GM is “angling” for a bailout.

What bully would have the assets, inclination, or where-with-all to conduct a war-to-the-death with fishermen with only them throwing punches?

Are you guys a bunch of bottom feeders – and what sin did we commit to earn this indignity?

My youth taught me to expect sinister; back then it was the warmongering industrialist apparatchik that spawned most of the evil, but government is broke – so it can’t be them…

A Trout Pout” is an unimaginable crime.

Something horrible is at work and we’re sunning ourselves like fat arsed Carp unaware of the Osprey’s speedy descent.

Yes, but it’ll be a hearty welcoming mucous filled handshake

It makes me wonder how many world record fish I’ve caught and released unknowingly. I’d guess it’s linked to the concept of “life list” – all the species you’ve ever caught fishing by intent or accident.

She set a world record in the 2-pound tippet category by catching a 2-pound, 6-ounce bonefish while fly fishing July 27 off Andros Island in the Bahamas.

We’re used to a certain margin of safety on tippet sizes, often we’ve got at least a 2 to 1 advantage based on weight, yet all of us have been lucky or surprised by a big fish, or were caught with too small a tippet by a medium sized fish – and were evenly matched.

Figuring all the popular fish like trout, salmon, and steelhead, are out of our reach, that leaves about 99% of the world’s fish where catching a 2lb fish on 2lb test gets you an olive wreath …

I figured the IGFA as playing to the “glamour” trade; ascots, white deck shoes, dinners with fine china and guest speakers, not the crowd we rub shoulders with while idling a battered truck at the drive-thru window.

In fact, I’m almost sure the effete crowd is running things, you can’t even look up the IGFA records without being a member.

…and that suits me fine, when the “Commodore” gives me that haughty stare as I stand there with some flaccid, dripping, caustic brownwater fish – who proceeds to burp up a tampon on his dress slacks, we’ll be sure to give him a hearty back slap and a mucous filled hand shake.

The world record Sacramento Pikeminnow (according to the IGFA) is 6lb 15 ounces, which surprises me considerably, as I’ve caught fish nearly this heavy already. Likely I was using 3x or 4x tippet – but now that the flashbulbs are popping and the Commodore has finished rinsing off, it was most definitely 2 lb test …

I saw no entry for Sacramento Sucker so if any of you hardened adventurer’s want a shot at a world record, I’ll be happy to show you where they sleep at night.

… they glow, it’s a cinch.

The original article gave me a bit of pause

Forszpaniak said she has been fishing for two years. Her husband instructed her on her fly fishing technique when they practiced at area beaches.

What husband hands his wife a bonefish rod with only a 2lb tippet? I figure it must’ve been a senior ranking IGFA official who was scared his wife was going to outfish him. I’m not the only thing that smells to high heaven…