I felt used.

… and if I’d had the trophy spouse whom I’d found in the sack with the local tennis pro, I’d have relived those feelings of intense pain and betrayal.

Instead, I can only curse those misspent hours memorizing LaFontaine, Sylvester Nemes, Swisher and Richards, and every other misguided, ersatz, scientist that espoused the then-prevailing theory of insect behavior ..

“ … and when water temps and ambient light get just right, it triggers a loosening of the nymphal shuck, causing the insect to rise through the water column and burst onto the surface to achieve the winged, sexual phase of the …”

Okay, Mister Rogers, if’n you say so …