Is it a vast conspiracy of vendors dictating to a few well meaning, yet chronically underfunded conservation agencies, and can this omission of information be the final straw we need to demonstrate our collective frustration in a molten pool of self-immolated 6X tippet?

For years we’ve been serenaded by all them pale, veggie-loving scientists about our thoughtless spread of Quagga and Zebra mussels. They’re busy bashing our boats in one sentence and damning our caustic footprints in the next …

… when all this time they knew that if both Quagga and Zebra Mussels were introduced into the same lake, that the Quagga would kick Zebra ass, and there would only be a Quagga mussel problem to clean up.

Listen all! This is the truth of it. Fighting leads to killing, and killing gets to warring. And that was damn near the death of us all. Look at us now! Busted up, and everyone talking about hard rain! But we’ve learned, by the dust of them all… Bartertown learned. Now, when men get to fighting, it happens here! And it finishes here! Two mollusks enter; one bivalve leaves.

– loosely adapted from Mad Max, Beyond Thunderdome

Apparently all them eggheads failed to mention how the Great Lakes is pockmarked with the scars of the two warring mollusks, and that the hordes of Quagga are spanking all comers including Asian anything and their capitol, the Edmond FitzGerald.