While the continuing saga of the Asian carp has done wonders for guided bow fishing, the rest of us unfortunates have largely been shut out of this orgy of sanctioned killing …
The Good News is that all that is about to change now that ballistics experts have invented “Super Cavitating” rifle ammo which allows hunters to fire into the water, hunt underwater, or fire onto the bank from underwater, rendering it all child’s play save for the Kentucky Windage component of optical diffraction.
Now, the frustrated angler can simply yank hogleg and blow hell out of large wild fish with single and barbless, fully jacketed projectiles that will retain its cladding and ensure lead from large caliber projectiles is not released into the watershed.
We’ll be treated to guided carp hunts featuring jet boats and quad-fifties, where success is measured solely by expended ammo, not limited by some arbitrary or capricious fish & game ruling.
Like Dim Sum, we count the discarded ammo cans and then add in a tip.
“The ammo becomes a true extension of the hunter’s desire to kill in any environment,” says US Army ballistics expert, Madison Aveenu. “It offers a more fluid transmission of energy from wet to dry. The eye sees the shot it wants to make and is translated to the ammo by the gun instantaneously.”
Looks like I’ll soon be having a new stockpile in the armory once the product hits the market…
What fun! It lends new meaning to the phrase, “One shot, one kill.”.
Now, why can’t this be somehow adapted to fly line technology, so my lame casting might be improved without practice?
The last sentence in that quote from Aveenu sounds mighty familiar. Exchange “fly” for “ammo” and “rod” for “gun”, then let’s play guess the manufacturer.
MG wins the prize
Am I slow or are we all slow, or what? A quote from a guy named “Madison Aveenu?” I suppose that’s possible – – there was once a professional wrestler named Dusty Rhodes.
I remember Madison from Jr. High as a pair of legs sticking out of a trash can. If the military is still using a rifle that was designed in the mid-fifties, selling his product as carp hunting ammo is the best he can hope for.
The original quote makes so little sense that I’m surprised Sage actually used it … which is why I trotted it out as a testament to what you can buy from a professionally trained wordsmith …
Rods don’t cast themselves, anglers are still required. Sorry Sage.
Oh, and I guided a porn star named “Stormy Weather” on Fall River …
Re: Stormy Weather.
That’s a post I’d like to read.
“I handed her my stiff rod”.
This is old hat isn’t it? They’re called “conehead” IIRC.