Once upon a time on an irrigated desert far, far, away…

An Oscar winning screenwriter in the making Nothing like clever lawyers and a wealthy client to add convoluted logic to an untenable position.

The large farm interests in southern California lost the last round of law suits and were forced to make do with less – less water pumped south to irrigate desert, and less to make the lush lawns of Los Angeles bloom year round.

The declining “Delta Smelt” was the root cause, protected by the endangered species act. Not content with this setback, the water districts are suing the Department of Fish and Game and the State of California for allowing a foreign species (Striped Bass) to predate on the smelt population, which likely is the real cause of the declining population.

As proof of this horrible crime, the document points to the DFG’s attempt to restore the Striped Bass population to its historic norm via planting.

I give them an “A” for creativity, and my extended index finger for environmental conscientiousness. Not only are the evil stripers the bane of delta smelt, but it could be they’re destroying the salmon population at the same time.

No mention that the striper fishery has gone to hell roughly at the same rate as the smelt and salmon, but that’s consistent with a good Hollywood script, omit the details that’ll make the story sordid.

I’m not sure who orchestrated the plan, an out of work screenwriter on a binge, or an astute legal beagle that has a helluva future in movies…

Stay tuned, there has to be a partially clad heroine emerging from the underbrush momentarily…