The Marlboro Man does Catfight

Once the fishermen find out it’s an island they’ll scatter to the four winds hoping they can scrounge some old monofilament and feed the less fortunate members of the tribe. Once they see the size of the local Bonefish they’ll insist on Catch & Release – or some form of ultra-purism – which’ll piss off the camera crew and producer, who’ll trade an off camera Bologna sandwich to the swing vote – sending Mr. Fisherman packing …

My money is on the hunters. Fishermen are wound too tight and lack the social niceties to survive the group scene. They’ll skip the all important backstabbing alliances; “I’ll give you my last pair of dry socks if you vote for Betty” whispered at the council fire, and then disappear for hours when they should be doing tribal chores.

You knew they would do it

Another in a long line of trashy reality shows, pitting 12 outdoorsy types against insurmountable hardships like; running out of shampoo,  not wearing a cowboy hat, throwing a temper tantrum at a Chevron vending machine,  keeping a Boy Scout Troop pinned down while rifling their foodstuffs, and exposing the lean Marlboro Outdoorsy is prone to fits of childish rage when wearing a grass skirt in mosquito country, without any protective mint Skoal …

“The Ultimate Sportsman” slated to air Thursdays at 10:00AM EST, 2010 on Versus is a premier hunting and fishing reality
TV series. Twelve contestants will have the opportunity to participate in a series of hunting and fishing adventures
throughout North America.

You can apply for the freebie fishing via their website. As a film of yourself is involved, you may want to practice that steely grimace – where you discover salmon eggs are mixed with your JuJuBee’s …

It’s plain these fellows don’t know the difference and don’t care to know.

13) If you were going to be in People magazine, what inside info about you would be put up next to your picture?

17) List your past experiences with hunting and fishing. If you have no past experience with hunting or fishing then explain your
intentions for wanting to be introduced to the sport of hunting
and fishing!

… and don’t really care, they’re mining ratings and are desperately seeking drama queens in camoflage. I think they’re hoping someone will respond as below:

Hunting and fishing seems like a lot of fun, but I actually prefer running around a darkened campsite brandishing sharp objects and wearing a hockey mask.

Throw in some poor sport blowing daylight through a doe, and two fellows caught stuffing lead shot down a trout’s gullet – and it’s pure ratings gold.

3 thoughts on “The Marlboro Man does Catfight

  1. Igneous Rock

    Of course I shot her horse! I dont have a hunting or fishin liscense for anything else! I’m from L.A. dude. Cops on horses is the only big game left.

Comments are closed.