The evidence has always been there – but most of us lack the proper venue to espouse sinister conspiracy theories. I’ve been lax on this front for many months, but even the halls of respectable Science are suggesting we may have visitors …
Ask yourself, why is it the Asian Carp turned North when released from that Arkansas bass pond … Wouldn’t a dumb siphon-eater have found it easier to swim with the current towards the Gulf?
… and that laughter you hear when fishing, you’ve shrugged it off as a vagrancy of the wind, some solitary echo off a canyon wall, or some minor reverb in the tinkle of the stream?
Others have heard it, and a brave few have even committed the “laughing brook” to hardcopy, although never giving a plausible explanation why …
Scientist Paul Davies thinks we’re plagued by aliens, and after considerable thought – I’m inclined to agree.
The Asian Carp can now be easily explained, and made the more sinister – they saw the Great Lakes from Space.
Go ahead and laugh, Monkey-Boy, how else could mere Jellyfish sink 10 tons of Japanese trawler?
Anglers have described fish as smart for centuries, yet science claims there is so little intelligence they can’t feel pain – it being tied to higher thought processes that fish lack – like fear, greed, and world domination.
Until now.
Scramble down the bank, inching forward behind the cover of vegetation, and the moment the rod shows your quarry bolts out of sight. Coincidence, or is he under that impenetrable thicket of logjam doing “high fins” with his sentient cousins …
“Dude, you sucked Fatty in again – all the way down the bank, and he tore his external diaphanous envirosuit on the tree branch, and didn’t even notice.”
Summon the Ospreyship for transport upstream, if he starts me off with an emerger, I’m taking his ass Downtown …”
Alien microbes in the water supply, coupled with a nutrient rich bath of female hormones, muscle relaxers, and nitrogenous farm waste – capable of taking over the unwitting host on a whim.
How else to explain Congress, Jerry Springer, or a $9,700 fly reel?
Tags: alien microbes, Japanese trawler sunk by jellyfish, Osprey, Asian Carp, fly fishing humor, laughing brook,
I knew it! It explains so much.
Like how I can wade through a battlefield in summer and barbed wire and nothing happens until the water drops below 40 degrees, then my waders mysteriously spring a leak. Or… How the wind always changes directions at the moment I release my cast. I used to have a hunch it was errant dieties at play, but now I know better. A vast right-finned conspiracy of alien fish.
Excellent stuff. “A huge jellyfish typhoon will hit the country” – oh yes.
Singlebarbed readers are not cowed by fears of public censure… While skeptics laugh and point fingers we’re stockpiling food and grizzly hackle.
I, too, am impressed. Not only have you uncovered the deepest conspiracy theorized, you’ve referenced two of my favorite characters in film, Keyser Soze and John Bigbootie (that’s Bigboot-A!).
“No matter where you go, there you are.”
As if your precious grizzly hackle will protect you when the Carpocalypse (see what I did there) comes…