I’ve got more than my fair share of hideous vices but gambling hasn’t been one of them…

… actually I should retract that, as fishermen are among the most egregious gamblers known, we risk time, money, and domestic bliss on every throw of the rod.

It was the fly that caught my attention. A small blurb about the launch of three new online slot games, and while the fishing theme struck a chord I still couldn’t figure how it would translate to the degenerate gambling crowd.

When the fisherman appears on reels 1 and 5 at the same time, the Fly Fishing Bonus begins. During this bonus game, you’ll be able to choose 5 fish from the river in front of you. The fish have multiplier prizes ranging from 2X to 15X.

I guess they figure fly fishing was such a sure thing that you just point at the fish and they swim to your feet, light the charcoal and fillet themselves …

The game designer is obviously a genius with zero’s and one’s – but he’s never fished in his (or her) life. We know the reality:

… When the fisherman appears on reels 1 and 5 at the same time, the Fly Fishing Bonus begins. During this bonus game, you’ll insert 15 more coins, resulting in a blast of arctic air from the console, and a small spigot will appear waist high and pizzle icy water down your pants leg.

You’ll be able to see 5 fish from the river in front of you, three will be too deep, one will be out of casting range, and the last one – the largest, will simply ignore you.

Not likely to set any casino records for coin inhalation – what with a bunch of guys holding newspapers on their lap so the waitress doesn’t see the spreading dampness.

… not to mention her asking for ID every time she brings a watered down drink.

Tags: online casino, fly fishing game, Alaska fishing, degenerate gamblers, degenerate fishermen, fly fishing for money, vices, gambling fishermen