Us native Californian’s pride ourselves on being at the forefront of the next great trend – even marginal ones, just so we’re seen as holding up our end…

… and a pear shaped angler trudging through creek bottom just doesn’t offer the same opportunities as the hard-bodied ultra-consumer crowd – as they troll the beach admiring their reflection in the rear view…

Now I’ve got my own statement, hydration pack lipping full of lemon slices and Fortifido water.

I opted for the “natural Spearmint” assuming that if it can make a dog’s arse fresh – it’d tame the sour taste of cheap cheroots and alkali dust.

I may opt for the Peanut Butter if that doesn’t work, as Parsley sounds a mite off-putting.

We can emerge from some muddy rivulet knowing our skulking days are over, we’re “kissable sweet” – it’s only the rest of us that smells like hell.

Tags: Fortifido water, dog water, brownlining, trendy, wasteful, Peanut Butter, Parsley