We considered offering a matchmaking service, but all we found is where they aren’t

Been poring over the statistical data for angling, hoping to answer some Singlebarbed Lonely Hearts Dating service questions. How come I haven’t posted more fetching bikini shots? Simple, I didn’t want to get your hopes up – we respect you too much…

WhereWomenAre

The important statistics first; you better like fried chicken and potatoes, because 70% of the female angling population lives in the South and Midwest.

For them as lives in the West and East, you have the remaining 30% to pick from. This is all women anglers – not merely the pretty ones…

Grandma might not be bikini material but blow her a kiss anyway’s, if catching is slow, it’ll still make her day.

Women anglers want dinner, none of this catch and release silliness,  they’re fishing to put food on the table; Halibut, Sole, Flounder, is preferred by 22% of women. It also could be that the price for flatfish is higher, proof that even though there is less of them, they are still smarter than us.

81% of the women surveyed are freshwater bound, 24% are saltwater anglers, 5% consider themselves both.

fisherwomen_species

Of the freshwater species, trout is last. More a reflection of locale than anything else, but it may also be easier to sunbathe from a black bass boat then sweat your way into the back country on foot.

For the Gold-digging Male Angler: only 11% of women anglers make an income of $50,000 or more, so you can forget about marrying into thousands of acres of prime trout stream, you’ve a better chance of financial liquidity by marrying her daddy. No statistics are available on inheritance prospects of women anglers, unfortunately.

Women age 16-34 go fishing 10 times a year, after age 34 they fish only 9 times a year. Women who have graduated college fish 7 times a year, they are smarter than us.

You Guys Are Swine Department: Women 45-54 spend more dollars on tackle than any other age group.  Oh, now that her looks are going, and she raised your kids – she has to buy her own rod? Men are pigs.

In summary, stick with your current spouse, lose the indignant at her requirement that you get your dirty shorts out of her sink, buy her a rod instead.

Technorati Tags: , ,

7 thoughts on “We considered offering a matchmaking service, but all we found is where they aren’t

  1. San Mateo Joe

    Like most of your recent articles, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of all this, but after reading the last paragraph, I went out and purchased a brand new fly rod, presented it to my wife, and said “Do you want to go fishing?” Her response was, “Will there be clean facilities nearby?” I stammered something about plenty of trees, some bushes, and a few large boulders, to which she replied, “The great outdoors is not my bathroom, you filthy disgusting ape.” I could tell she was in one of her coquettish moods, so I waved your article at her and said, “OK, well, I’ve got some statistics I need to study,” and then headed down to the local tavern. Soon after everything went quickly downhill, but hey, I got a new fly rod out of it, so thanks for that.

  2. KBarton10 Post author

    Glad to be of service, 44% of all males that took what I wrote as wisdom – wound up spending the night on a park bench.

    Welcome to the 3% that got a new rod out of the deal…

  3. San Mateo Joe

    Unfortunately, I also followed the advice you gave in your “Casting is like Kung-Fu” article, so I now own a very cheap pink fly rod I’ll never fish. But you’re right: it beats a night on the park bench.

  4. KBarton10 Post author

    I looked it up for you, the average trip cost for a male angler was $430, this counts tackle, gas, lodging, meals, the entire shebang..

    The same trip for women cost $278. I can only assume that when they found out the toilet facilities was a handful of tree bark, they left.

    They are still smarter than us…

  5. Pingback: The Underground's Monday Morning Fin Hugging Party : The Trout Underground Fly Fishing Blog

  6. Pingback: Fly Fishing » Blog Archive » The Underground’s Monday Morning Fin Hugging Party

  7. Pingback: Matchmaking » We considered offering a matchmaking service, but all we found is …

Comments are closed.