Once again I’m without Internet access at my home and unable to post or check email. It’s one of those special moments for a computer geek – calling Technical Support and listening to some gum-chewing SOB with skills much less than your own…
“Yes, Bob – it was working this morning, and then the light on the modem blinked off, and it hasn’t worked since. I can ping your modem, but can’t see anything past that – and I’m noticing the the DHCP service on your router isn’t issuing me an address.”
“Reboot your computer.”
“Done Bob, a “trace route” yields nothing past your modem, I still don’t have an IP address, and I’m getting kind of really pissed, Bob..”
“Did you try rebooting your computer?”
“Yes, Sweetpea – I kicked it several times, and when you get off shift tonight, it’s you and me in the parking lot doing the Tire Iron Dance, Moron… Now Bob, can I talk to your supervisor?”
“Uh, no. He’s rebooting his computer.”
My favorite non-tech support move is the long, long list of questions they ask which are clearly designed to make it ALL YOUR FAULT.
Failing that, their fallback is always the omnipresent, never-seen, all-inclusive “virus.”
My favorite is when you can hear them flipping through the book of questions they are suppose to ask you. And then I ask them how the weather is in India. That one always stumps them, they have to get up and look out the window.
It’s clearly all my fault, and by demonstrating some skill in this area I’ve confirmed their suspicions about me tinkering with their setup.
I would not be surprised to see torches and pitchforks in my driveway when they show.
Just hope they don’t pirate your IP and make all of your posts long winded and self-absorbed. Oh geez, it looks like they must have been doing that for some time now.
damn those incompetent techie bastards….
Ouch, foul hooked…
Some pals … wait until I hit the ground then apply the boots to me.
Nice.
Ahh, we were just getting started. Here, pull my finger…
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