Granted that I only completed college, but I’ve seen every Star Trek episode twice, so I know physics.

Sage Rod Company has introduced the “Z Plane” series of graphite rods, and a quick perusal of their site brings thoughts unbidden; the X axis is horizontal, the Y axis is vertical, therefore the Z axis has to be the wobble induced by an unbalanced body in orbit near your head.

So I went to the Internet for confirmation and “Google’d” a surprising confirmation; a scholarly work entitled, “A General Definition of Ring Puckering Coordinates.” Not all of this tome lends itself to layman’s translation but an abridged version suggests – an unstable sharp object in subsonic flight, enhanced by a “wobble” in the Z-Axis, would cause my “ring” to pucker uncontrollably.

Methinks the advertising geniuses at Sage have to learn from the Cocaine energy drink flap, they can expect a call from both WalMart and Ralph Nader.