I call it “blackmail science” – where you dare not disagree with my all encompassing really fucking thin hypothesis … for fear I’ll reveal you’ve shacked up with a Neanderthal …

… and when coupled with those silly plaid golf pants you’re prone to wear on weekends, could lead to your pals at the Club stammering excuses as to why they can’t share the bunk next to you at the next outing …

Rather, consider what we know of written history and fly fishing, and while we’re able to trace our roots back to the ancient Etruscans and their feathered lures used for fishing … didn’t someone have to teach them the One True Path?

… and might those people not have had a written language for Dame Juliana Berners to plagiarize – and therefore no record of their love of the weight forward exists today?

Science has concluded that Cavemen,  or perhaps their women, might have used bird feathers as adornment, which in the present is about as far fetched a possibility as can be considered * …

… the researchers first looked at the massive amount of data that has been collected on both birds and Neanderthals, specifically regarding their geography and whether birds with long feathers even lived in the areas where Neanderthals roamed. In all, they studied data from 1,699 sites across Eurasia and found that there was indeed a correlation and that there appeared to be a lot of raptor and corvid species living in the same areas as Neanderthals.

… given the your correlation between them hairy-arsed girls of the Pleistocene and present-day-sweet-smelling-genteel awesomeness, will result in your unintentional comparison of their bottom to their hairy-arsed cave squatting cousin – which owned a gigantic and ample posterior …

… and your being banished to the garage for the thought.

Instead,  consider the hypothesis that Neanderthals were early adopters of fly fishing.

… then turned their attention to actual bird bones found around or near Neanderthal archeological finds and discovered that many of them were wing bones that had been manipulated with sharp stones, causing cutting marks, a clear indication that they had been used for some purpose other than as food as wings don’t have any meat on them. They noted also that the Neanderthals appeared to have a preference for birds with dark feathers. Also, they found that marked bones were found at many of the sites indicating that whatever was going on wasn’t local. These findings indicate that Neanderthals were clearly using the long wing feathers for something”

I’m thinking Iron Blue Dun was as desirable to our ancestors as it is today, and it’s only the size of the insects that have changed. Long tail feathers were needed to wrap dry flies that likely averaged 6/0 to 9/0 (using today’s hook scales) and big feathers and chemically sharpened Obsidian were necessary to pierce the armored mouths of those toothy critters that inhabited fresh water.

Then again, you could have really gi-normous stones and inform your wife that the reason she plucks her eyebrows is genetics …

See what that gets ya …

* wink wink