Remember, everytime you drink POM Wonderful a Kitten dies

kitten4 I once prided myself on my understanding of Science, but this new stuff is a slow learn.

I’m tempted to look at your exam and copy your answers, as I can’t seem to grasp some of these longwinded connections …

The Greatest Estuary the world has ever known is dying, with the Delta Smelt simply a hood ornament representative of the larger ecosystem. Scientists suggest we’re pulling too much freshwater out and pumping it south, so Mssr. Resnick (owner of all the Kern River Water Bank) and his spouse (owner of POM Wonderful) call in a chit from Senator Feinstein to overturn that scientific evidence …

… then they mount a smear campaign to blame the Striped Bass as the root evil of the Delta – claiming even bass boats and small children are on their diet.

Better still, California Department of Fish & Game decides (or has it decided for them) that the bullshit press paid for by Mssr. Resnick is one of a lot of possible stressors of the aforementioned fragile drainage, and as we need to deal with ALL of those stressors equally (some being more equal than others) we should boost the bag limit on the invasive Striped Bass (itself in decline) in order to restore balance to the San Francisco Delta.

Stripers being similar to Al Qaeda operatives, faceless, non-voting, and therefore the root of all wickedness.

For February, the California Fish & Game is holding public comment on the below changes;

The basic proposed changes are as follows:

  • Raising the daily bag limit for striped bass from two to six fish.
  • Raising the possession limit for striped bass from two to 12 fish.
  • Lowering the minimum size for striped bass from 18 to 12 inches.
  • Establishing a “hot spot” for striped bass fishing at Clifton Court Forebay and specified adjacent waterways at which the daily bag limit will be 20 fish, the possession limit will be 40 fish and there will be no size limit. Anglers fishing at the hot spot would be required to fill out a report card and deposit it in an iron ranger or similar receptacle.
  • Changes to the sport fishing regulations for the Carmel, Pajaro and Salinas Rivers to allow harvest of striped bass when the fishery would otherwise be closed.

I realize that while many might shake their head at this latest outcome, this darkest of hours, it merely represents the tip of the iceberg of what’s coming.

Jobs, baby – and damn the environmental consequences. It doesn’t matter that our youth was spent placing Vibert boxes in streambed cobble, picking up litter and releasing our catch, the excesses of our middle age undid all the good we accomplished – despite cotton bell bottoms and Earth shoes.

Unfettered consumerism coupled with mortgage debt, the Great White Shark of society.

… suggesting it’s no longer appropriate for me to lug 2-stroke oil bottles and gallons of anti-freeze out of the brown water … better  I empty them into the creek to give my foe a “soldier’s death”, worthy of their tenacity and honor.

Where I was once conscious of the ecology and stepped onto the bank to make water, now I’ll simply “drop-trou“ in mid current and let fly.

The choices for us being simple. Either we aid fish evolution so it can swim up sewer pipes to inhale one or both of your ass cheeks in a single grab, or it dies a horrible death – screaming for its mommy.

6 thoughts on “Remember, everytime you drink POM Wonderful a Kitten dies

  1. Don

    This new stuff is unlearnable. I believe it’s made up on the fly.

    That Senator has become a great disapointment.

    If you consider running for office I will form a PAC.

  2. Clif

    How would they control a “hot spot” with a possession limit of 40 when everywhere else is at 12? Are they selling tags or something?

  3. The POM Underground

    As always, Californians should stand ready to be disappointed by their representatives whenever water and money are mixed together.

    The Striper Dodge was a hail mary by water users (including Westlands) that somehow gained some traction. It’s like blaming the disappearance of the buffalo on wolves.

  4. JP2

    An “invasive” fish? Introducted over a 100 years ago(along with brown trout and catfish,but never mind….) I guess you could call the farmers and ranchers invasive too,but they contribute to much to Senator for life Feinstein’s life style…and folks wonder why I want a bigger bag limit on Libs…..

  5. Shoreman

    I can say with pride, I’ve never drank POM. There is always something in this State. If it’s not the Delta Smelt, it’s some little frog or the Spotted Owl.

    Mark

  6. John Peipon

    And I thought that we had Striper problems here one the East Coast! “Send lawyers, guns, and money; the shit has hit the fan.”

    Yet another affirmation of the coming Apocalipes.

Comments are closed.