… and you figured that Christmas was immune to one of my “there are no fish left and what’s left ain’t worth the trouble,” articles – where one or more scientific bodies posts some graph with the big red arrow heading south …

But you’re wrong.

Christmas isn’t sacred, and now the cat’s out of the bag I can reveal the secret Royal Humbug Humpy pattern I’ve whipped up with some mane and part of that Big Red Nose …