Dammit Goebbels, I read your book!

… at least the part about how to bend society to your will using a mind deadening mix of rumor, fear, and alienation, playing up the perceived differences between the splinter group and mainstream.

My quarry frequents the Tofu aisle. Impressionable vegetable radicals intent on turning lead into gold, planting a couple of electrodes into curdled bean juice and zapping up a couple flavorful steak facsimiles, it never happens but we do love their optimism.

Just outside of view I taped a handheld recorder under the lint shield at the local Safeway, playing low volume Rebecca Black interspersed with the sounds of a thousand roosters getting their heads separated from their “hair extensions.”

Figuring that as soon as most of the “extension-eligible” realize harvesting a chicken is synonymous with decapitation via dull bandsaw, they might rethink all this fashionista crap, allowing us to pocket thousands of precious hackles tossed unceremoniously in dumpsters – free for the taking …

Actually things are getting out of hand now that screaming teenagers are running over the birds intentionally, in public …

My efforts appear to be yielding fruit, a hint of  anti-extension propaganda beginning to show, and the promise of much more, based on a couple of manila envelopes tucked under the door at PETA, who were horrified that an entire generation of young folks assumed them feathers grew only on the chicken’s nugget.

In order to save Whiting from a very profitable demise, I’d suggest each of you add a bit of misinformation to your spouse’s favorite beauty forum. All them feather lusting fashion noobs have millions of questions which you can provide much needed answers …

You should warm quickly to their patter as they’re similar to the Drake forums, but with a lot more f-bombs.

Nothing hostile or degrading, just a nudge  …