The fly fishing will be better now that you’re gone

This weekend I’ll be painting Didymo on them rocks with a spatula.

I’ll be the fellow whose 4 X 4 axles will be glowing white hot as I mash my way through cottonwoods and willows and into your favorite pool – there to dismount the smoking wreck while it dribbles petroleum products into the Pristine.

… and all of my flies will be tied on treble hooks.

Just a reminder that this weekend you can toss all that nose-inna-air bologna while you’re laying waste to whatever flavor of Sweet you’ve  felt threatened by … As Ms. Claudette mentions so eloquently below, everything’s peachy if you can catch a church service sometime before Saturday …

… and if you aren’t a Good Christian like me and the rest of my yellow eJournalist pals, we’ll be taking our chances with Cletus, his 4X4, and a couple icy 24 packs of Go-Girl.

We’ll be pounding your favorite riffle with “Dagwood” sandwiches made of Triscuits and alternating layers of cream cheese and Bighead Carp roe.

Suck it, wimps.

11 thoughts on “The fly fishing will be better now that you’re gone”

  2. Scott

    They say that it will all start with a big earthquake at 3:00 pm on Saturday. It better not screw up the trout I’ll be fishing for at Frenchmans. Plus I hope it doesn’t cause a tidal wave since I will be in my float tube.

    Sunday I plan on fishing for bass so I hope they don’t get all screwed up either.

  3. kbarton10

    Scott is obviously going to hell for two reasons; fishing on the sabbath, and being a complete optimist given the world ends the day before.

    Then again, something might swim in magma.

  4. The Chile Doctor

    I won’t be fishing, but I will be eating anything I want tonight. And tomorrow for breakfast. And again for lunch. After a nice nap, then we’ll see.

    Oh, and I was planning on giving up smoking. Now I think I’ll wait…

  5. Shoreman

    Personally, I’ll go with the Aztec calendar. That’ll give us another year and 7 months. Plenty of time to get a lot of fishing in.

    Mark

  6. trout chaser

    Don’t you just love her! But gee whiz fellas, try as I might, I just can’t seem to find the passage that reads “Blessed be thou the self-righteous, who exalteth thy selves in my name.”

    I won’t bore you with chapter and verse, but it’s worth noting that (if one believes in such things) Mathew points out quite clearly that NO ONE knows when the end will be. Not Jesus, not the angles, no one except for God. He also notes that there will always be portents and signs of doom, prophecies and theories, but not to put any stock in them. So I occasionally have to scratch my head over “Christians” who choose to ignore the words of Christ.

    I wonder what people were thinking in the late 1300’s as bubonic plague carried off 1/3 of the population of Europe, and 1/2 the population of Asia.

    I’m still planning on bass fishing Sunday.

  7. kbarton10

    Based on the above to hell with Go Girl, I’ll fill the back of my pickup with cold beer … it appears I’ll be in good company – stalwarts all …

  9. Igneous Rock

    There is nothing worse than the soprano giggle of the self-righteous trout fishing fundamentalist. If we have reason to fear the stone like intellect of the highly educated religious community, think of the soul freezing reaction they must have to a fully stuffed Simms vest as their eyes desperately search for the det-cord. The Mayfly be with you offendies.

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