It was a nice enough thought, how to restore an aging libido who’d squandered his youth huffing aniline dyes and white wine vinegar. I’m not sure why the unsolicited advertisement suddenly put things in perspective, but figuring a $350 rod, a $60 reel, $200 worth of waders, and $500 dollars more in terminal tackle and flies, I’m thinking fly fishing is much cheaper than first thought.

Sure, we got roving gangs of middle aged civil servants stealing from our fly shops, and smashing our windows at pull-out points near the river, but when you compare fly fishing to some of those seminal moments of your life … kicking the kids out of your house, a Smithfield Ham, your first parking ticket, or the first time you used your medical marijuana card and scored something other than billy club …

… it still worked out to be less than $7.50 per …

Whether it was Old School or New Age dating; $350 for the clothes, one or more pricey two-person dinners, $200 in gas and Pepsi, and $500 so the cleaning lady found and hid all your porn beforehand …

… all this so your average marriage can last eight years.

Figure the first half is “constantly” and the second half being “occasionally”, your lifetime batting average (with half your belongings paid out every 11 years) renders a “10 Pack” completely useless.

Like beer, when you’re young a 10 pack is half an hour, and in your dotage becomes an ambition, never realized.

As you fish between 9-12 outings per year, and assuming them to be weekends, you’re afield nearly 24 days per year, with a precision rod lasting a decade or more, figure four fish per day, that’s nearly one thousand fish for an $1100 buy in, pretty cheap for “the best entertainment you can have upright lying down, depending where you are in the cycle.”