I’m thinking the only difference between the Trout Underground and my rag, besides his being able to spell, punctuate, and show real wit, is that TC is under 50, suggesting he’s victim to the occasional hormonal surge …

… so we get the occasional flash of round and bouncy, suggesting the gal might exist and sport an unnatural passion for portly and balding – versus my side of the Internet which simply dashes your spirits without the brief uplifting preamble …

… or the flash of skin. Age and maturity does that to old pricks.

Worse is the effect on the rest of the angling crowd; Dick Talleur and Sylvester Nemes exchanged looks before simply checking out permanently. Both were hanging on for the sequel to A River Runs Through It, now that Miss Britney is manhandling the script, greener pastures beckon.

The only good news is that in Kentwood, La – fly fishing contains ample Sonic burger and bait, and the white bucket ain’t for sitting on unless you’re binging or purging, or both.