A little Orange Visqueen would’ve been an easier sell than cleated rubber being the New Felt

ATT-Cell-coverage All them wading shoe companies and their capitulation to soft-sticky rubber soles may well rival the disaster of New Coke. A couple years spent trying to convince us they actually grip anything other than dry pavement – undone by basic science and five miles of black VisQueen.

Meanwhile, scientists at Lake Tahoe are busy laying waste to beds of Asian Clams, merely by deploying rubber mats to cover them.

… and when fabric artist Christo insisted on loaning his artistry to cleansing the Arkansas, he was promptly shot down. A selfless act blending fabric imagery with ridding the Arkansas River of invasives, misinterpreted by bible thumping local officials intent on “not having some long-haired weirdo screwing around in our river.”

The local citizenry might’ve had reservations about explaining why six miles of river had an orange streambed, not realizing there’ll be twice the questions once the bottom looks like toilet paper, and everyone is scared to go near it.

Us cash conscious lay-environmentalists would’ve gladly rolled up the orange sheet once the novelty had worn off, and redeployed it systematically until we’d cleaned everything down to the ocean. Then we’d have called the local news station and insist it was material left over from AT&T’s cell phone coverage beef with Sprint, and insist they come and remove it.

2 thoughts on “A little Orange Visqueen would’ve been an easier sell than cleated rubber being the New Felt

  1. MG

    Couldn’t Christo just make a half million small umbrellas that could be mounted to the net loops on the backs of vests? It would…

    1) Shade the angler and get in the way of casting, much the same as draping the material across the river; and

    2) Act as a parachute, slowing the fall of those wearing sticky rubber boots.

    I told you I was an inventor!

  2. Rex

    I’m sure there’s some fly tying use for all that sheeting. Scud back? Shredded into dubbing?

    Of course the “art” could also come in handy if one finds hisself outside without a roll of Charmin…

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