It’s akin to Ponce De Leon traveling up the isthmus of South America and into Mexico lured by the tales of a city of gold. Surviving disease and pestilence, angry Indians and ritual sacrifice – and with the payoff in sight, he sees the dust of Sir Francis Drake making off with everything.
Much is being made of the Great Lakes being unfit for man nor beast, and with Asian Carp poised at the gates, it appears scientists are suggesting the Quagga Mussel ate everything already.
But Fahnenstiel said that if carp evade electronic barriers and reach the lake, they’ll probably find so little nourishment they’ll either go back or starve.
Mother Nature being the poster child for adaptive processes, the Silver Horde turning around may not be in the cards, every culvert headed east or west is an option, yet them voracious plankton eaters may surprise us and develop a taste for clams.
It won’t be the first time the Great Lakes had to be restored completely, and as little can be done about the ballast water / invasive issue, short of retrofitting everything flagged in Liberia with ballast treatment, we may want to consider taking a page from Aliens …
… nuke it from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.
Then again, despite the renewed interest in atomic power, radioactive waste, and domestic energy independence, the fission cloud may drift towards Montana, or Canada – and the result even more fish in peril.
So I propose a less intrusive option, one that won’t cost the taxpayer a farthing.
We’ll simply drop the problem in BP’s lap, as they’re charged with “making this right” … Toss a couple of freebie drilling leases into the package, write off the Gulf as toast, then let them demonstrate their willingness to make amends by laying a protective blanket of crude over them mussel beds.
…open the locks wide, let the phalanxes of Carp through, then drop match.
Sure, there’ll be a couple of seasons without steelhead or salmon, but if California can do it, can we ask the Midwest for less?
they mostly come out at night. Mostly.
All that is needed to take care of these carp is a little guerrilla marketing. A guest appearance on Iron Chef America, a recipe or two in Bon Appetite, a TGI Fridays lunch special, and a celebrity chef endorsement and BAM… The Asian Carp goes the way of the Chilean Sea Bass.
I’m not too worried about the collapse of the Lake Erie steelhead fishery. Opossum shrimp or no opossum shrimp…every good Erie steelhead fisherman know the trout’s natural prey is colorful clumps of yarn and plastic beads.