While the furor over Tiger Woods paving a half mile of a North Carolina trout stream has begun to subside, my regret is that I tipped you fellows to boutique fish first, and in typical conservation fashion you opted to think about it until the Pristine was in crisis …
Tiger settled with the court and Trout Unlimited by halving the proposed impacts to the creek and contacting AquaDoubleHelix to create a boutique fish that wouldn’t upset the delicate balance of Nature, yet wouldn’t anger those patrons sending a steady stream of Titleists into the fast water.
Dubbed the “Fairway Trout”, it subsists on a diet of Rock Snot and dry Kibble, isn’t interested in flies whatsoever, fetches anything tossed into the water, sees breathable waders as a hydrant, and announces itself rather soulfully whenever the moon is full.
But most of the time it drapes itself over a hot rock and snores loudly, husbanding precious energy that it semi-promises to use later – were you only to scratch its ears …
It’s Version 1.0, they’ll work the bugs out …
Wow, that is truly F’d up. The article makes it sound like its a good thing that “only” 1/3 of a mile of headwaters will be buried so people can play golf, in more places. I can’t believe its allowed at all. No, wait, I can believe it, it just makes me f’ing sick.
I thought I noticed there was something fishy how the Little Meathead smelled after his last visit with you.
Tiger cares nothing for the pristine. Just look at his choice in women…
A browliner if I ever saw one. Hopefully, though, Tiger remembered to wear his “waders” to protect himself while angling in those waters.