Last week’s announcement of the First National Fly Fishing competition sponsored by Marshall University just didn’t sit right with me. I may favor competition and most of you don’t, I was fixating on the larger issue – and couldn’t help wonder whether this may be the root cause of those shady hedge fund managers we’ve been cursing the last couple of years…

School spirit is one thing, but the first lesson an angler learns is never guarantee anything. If you were successful yesterday at the same spot, don’t breathe a word for fear of jinxing today’s trip.

Hall is confident of a victory for the Marshall team, which will display Marshall logos on a banner and their fly fishing apparel throughout the tournament. “My partner has the secret fly to win the tournament,” Hall said, laughing.

Noob.

A nurse, a burnout guide, and a television host as former alumni, giving all those impressionable youngsters a taste of what’s in store once they pay off an insurmountable debt burden. Role models should be a couple of golf pro’s and a Vice President or two – not the fellow chatting up Ms. Maraschino about an E-ticket ride to the Bold & the Beautiful.

Is this the root of all our recent evils?

When I hear some fellow guaranteeing to win one for the Gipper – replete with school banner and alumnus film crew, I keep thinking I’ll see split shot roll out of something’s gullet – or worse.

Is this the classic Seduction of the Innocent, where well groomed youngsters watch attentively while a couple of over-the-hill professors bend the rules a bit (strictly for recruitment purposes), brush the telltale BB shot off the scales while the glee club leads the group in another cheer, the result another class of hedge fund managers intent on gutting sheep?

“This is about bringing exposure to Marshall University …  My partner and I will do our best to represent Marshall University and everyone associated with it. I personally can’t wait to get started.”

No mention of whether it’s catch and release, or whether anyone will pause to admire Momma Nature at all, it may be the laboratory segment of BloodSport 101, so you’ve got the jargon to network with the Cheese at Goldman Sachs.

… then again, it could be completely legitimate – and Marshall is another of a long line of “party” schools, where your offspring suddenly develop a bent for animal husbandry of the human kind and learn to grow hops.

“We want to let people know that they can get a great education at Marshall University and enjoy some great fly fishing just a few hours away,” Hall said.

… and if I’m late to class and endure the stony silence of the economics professor, will my stuttered claim of “sudden emergence of March Browns” grant leniency? Fly fishing is “in for a penny, in for a pound” and a national endorsement should carry some long term commitment.

Fly fishermen aren’t the best role models – what with dissembling, the outright lies, and withholding of pertinent details, all the really important skills necessary to deflect a group of angry senators and their righteous populist inquiry.

Tags: Marshall University, fly fishing competition, hedge fund managers, seduction of the innocent, BB shot, blood sport, fly fishing humor