I’m not sure my wooden visage could stand the strain. Facing the Magistrate in all seriousness – and staring at 12 years in the Big House, I’d make a yeoman’s attempt …

“Honest, Your Honor, me and Bob there – was actually shark fishing, and them chocolate swizzling Dutchmen just opened fire out of pure orneriness …

Yessir, it was my AK and the RPG was mine too, but we was toodling around looking for a big Finn to blow holes in – not them scrawny Dutchies …”

If Twinkies and coke could get Dan White a reduced sentence, I’d gamble Hizzonor was a fisherman and take my chances – hoping “Bob” could keep his giggles under control – and not blow snot all over my sweet smelling defense attorney.

Captured by Danish commandos, after having their inflatable sunk by freighter-based signal flares, five Somali’s are opting for the “we wuz merely fishing” defense …

Farah Ahmed Yusuf, 25, accused the cargo ship of attacking the Somalis after engine failure had forced them to abandon their shark fishing expedition and seek help.

"The intention was to fish," he said.

"As we came closer, we put our hands in the air. While we had our hands in the air, they shot at us. They attacked us."

I’d call it a dry, it’s mostly barbless, but I’m unsure whether it’s cast with a one hander or something bigger … I’ll take a dozen however – as an RPG would prove useful in heavy traffic.

… and only this oldie-but-goodie to demonstrate proper technique.

Tags: RPG, Somalia pirates, Fishing Defense, shark fishing, Dan White, Twinkies