The problem is our long relationship. How after a thousand posts of pure honesty steeped in total avarice, wherein I’ve revealed my lust for the illegal and exotic – and hoard vast quantities of brightly colored feathers just so I can count them each evening …

… and despite the innocence of my expression and complete apologies to both victim and society, I’d be spread-eagled imploring you to confirm my good character with the warden, and you’d be insisting I get “tased” a second time.

I’m being cavity searched and your only concern is whether there’s a post for tomorrow … and calling ourselves “Pals” would be stretching it some.

But it’s true – and purely an accident.  The local field mice and I were warring over the use of my attic as a means to confound the local falcon population, and while I didn’t mind sharing  – the late night carousing was irritating, and the final straw occurred when the little well-fed SOB’s started using the plumbing for gymnastics and weight training.

I went DEFCON 3 and trimmed the population nicely. Nights are now blissful and sleep uninterrupted, yet I left one trap on the roof (where all the kills were sourced) just to make sure I’d cleansed the gene pool. It vanished without a trace.

I found it this weekend while yanking out the tall grass, I’d winged the poor Jay and with trap attached the local cats took care of the rest …

Honest.

If I’d known potential fly tying supplies shared a yen for raisins, I’d have deployed both traps and Punji sticks to nail that roosting Peacock from last year.

Tags: California Jay, rat trap, blue chatterer, fish & game, taser, some friends, field mice, fly tying materials, blue chatterer